Stuck

Terrible week going...please finishhhhhhhh :( stuck in jams, work, time..and moreover, stuck in life...

Suno Aishaaaaaaaaa :)

I saw Aisha yesterday night, and I don't know if I liked it. I mean, it was kind of ok.. it seems I have started to like films that have been panned all over (No, don't include that grotesque Hisss, which I have no intention of watching ever, even if someone calls me to its premiere in LA). Aisha is a typical sweet story inspired by Emma (one of my favorite books since we had it as our supplementary reader in Class 8). I love Jane Austen's classics. As Abhay Deol essayed in Aisha, Mr. Knightley was such a cool character. But since it is inspired and modified for an Indian audience, the characters weren't that witty. I really liked the girl who played Shefali. I love Sonam Kapoor, no matter what others think of her. I loved her in Saawariya and I hate Luv Storys and now in Aisha..that girl has style and kick ass attitude..and importantly she acts well..

Anyway, talking of Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice is another must-read classic. What I love about her books is that her heroines are not typical of Miss Goody Two Shoes but very real, selfish, self-centered, and independent. Emma Woodhouse, Elizabeth Bennet, Marianne Dashwood.

Back to Aisha, I liked 2 dialogues.

1. Aisha: Muje laga tha jab mujhe pyaar hoga, to meri sari duniya badal jayegi. Chitra Massi : Pyaar koi toofan nahi hai jo aye aur zindagi badal de..pyaar to zindagi ke chote chote lamhon me hai.

2. Pinki: Hum kisi fairytale me nahi Delhi me rehte hai..yahan hum rainbow nahi traffic ka dhuan hai..agar is me ek sitara bhi dikh jaye vahi bahut hai.. Hmmm

Meanwhile, I am addicted to the song Udi from Guzaarish. What awesome lyrics, na?

A year in which...

On 19 October 2010, I completed one year in my first job..Well..it had been a bit of a roller coaster ride with ups and downs..

A year in which I joined the so called nasty world of corporate life, leaving college behind..

A year in which I was actually paid for my work (still can't believe that though??!!)
A year in which I lost a little of my innocence..
A year in which I travelled outside Delhi after 5 years..
A year in which I travelled in an airplane for the first time ever..
A year in which I saw the beach and sea waves for the first time ever..
A year in which I walked the deserted streets in a mountain at 12 in the night...
A year in which I swam in an 80-feet deep lake relying only a life jacket..
A year in which I worked on a 6 month long project to a 6 minute project..
A year in which I got screamed at for not putting italicised inverted commas..
A year in which my oft repeated phrase has been "witnessed a growth of X%, primarily due to"..

A year in which I saw countless pictures of baby nipple bottles on countless websites..
A year in which I had some great gossip sessions..
A year in which I dressed up as a Hippie (with Dabangg sunglasses) for the office costume party..
A year in which I made and lost some great friends..
A year in which I sang a medley of songs with my fellow cabbies DJ in my croaked voice..
A year in which I literally fought a battle to reach office..
A year in which I actually prayed for no rain, in spite of my eternal love for it :(
A year in which I saw Yamuna flowing over the danger mark..
A year in which I got a certificate for being a quarter finalist in a pictionary game..
A year in which I got my first (maybe last) promotion ever :(
A year in which I came back so happy after a good day (read: no work)..
A year in which I came and cried nights after some really horrible days (and people) at work..
A year in which I realized how good case studies clinical psychologists can do on some characters in office.
A year in which I cut my first birthday cake ever..
A year in which I danced on Khawaja Mere Khawaja in front of the entire office (Thanks Karan!!)

A year in which I lost the sense of time..counting days instead of dates..
A year in which I started loving Fridays more than ever..
A year in which I started getting goosebumps from Sunday evenings..
A year in which I also realized how far behind have I been left..
A year in which I hurt so many people :(

A year in which I felt how terribly lonely people are..especially cab drivers..

A year in which I was humming Bepanah Pyar hai aaja (cab bhaiya's ear splitting ring tone!!)

A year in which I finally accepted that mediocrity is my second name :(
A year in which I questioned my self and my existence ( still do that )
A year in which I was taught so many lessons by life..
If only, I could teach life a lesson one day.....

My past year has to be defined only by my office.. Naturally like for others, it seems there is nothing else in my life..I don't know what is in store for future..I wonder if I'll be able to survive till my next year..Life has become very difficult..Anyway, I will try to be happy as always.. And I will be giving a a fashion makeover to my blog very soon..Ciaos!

I love Salman Rushdie. Period!

I just love Sir Salman Rushdie. He is a brilliant writer and am in total awe of him ever since I have read Midnight's Children. I have started reading his next Luka and the Fire of Life and the following passage is an excerpt form the first chapter, just love his imagination!! His writing gives me a high!! I still remember his description of Qara Koz in The Enchantress of Florence...what a piece of writing it is!!!! And Saleem Sinai of my favourite book ever Midnight's Children..what magic that book is...Sigh..he is never going to get a Nobel :(

Here is my collection of Rushdie...not showing off!!! just want to show my latest addition to it..Ahem Ahem!!

It's a pity that people don't read much of him out of hatred for him writing The Satanic Verses (which I desperately want to read, not the ebook but hardcover, but sadly banned in India)

The only thing that I look forward to these days is his writing :'(

Just read this passage!!

When Luka was only a few years old, his father's hands acquired lives and even minds of their own. They had names too; there was Nobody (the right hand) and Nonsense (the left), and they were mostly obedient and did what Rashid wanted them to, such as waving about in the air when he wanted to make a point (because he liked to talk a lot), or putting food in his mouth at regular intervals (because he liked to eat a lot). They were even willing to wash the part of Rashid he call bee tee em, which was extremely obliging of them. But, as Luka quickly discovered, they also had a ticklish will of their own, especially when he was within their reach. Sometimes when the right hand started tickling and he begged "Stop, please stop", his father replied, "It's not me. In fact, Nobody's tickling you", and when his left hand joined in and Luka, crying with laughter protested, "You are , you are tickling me", his father replied, "You know what? That's just Nonsense"

You are truly next to God as Prateik says.. Will keep looking forward to you always..

Finding someone you can't live without...

So many things happening together..I can't think... Wednesday :
Still not feeling well :(
Please help me God!! I don't want to remain stuck forever..Will I be able to break this cycle?
Hmmm
Saw Anjaana Anjaani finally..liked it..not great though..just about ok!!
So quote of the day is from it only..it comes before the clock outside the church..
Love is not finding someone to live with, it's finding someone you can't live without

Goodbye and Goodluck..

Hmmm long time..Nothing much has happened, so nothing much to write.. Every thing has become very dull..no excitement for anything.. just office office office and nothing else.. And I have become sick and tired of travelling and getting stuck in traffic.. I used to commute 3 hours a day when I was in college..and now also I takes me 3 hours daily even though distance is less than my college (and at least I could come early in college)..this CWG mess and the perennially jammed Kalindi Kunj..Now I have to reach office at 8..so sit in can at 6.50 AM :( But what can I do?

Also, had a costume party in office..earlier I wasn't planning to..then decided to go dressed normally but just a day before the party decided to dress up as Hippie.. I wanted to be a retro hero like Akshay Kumar looks like in Action Replay or Veeru of Sholay but just an hour before the party is not the time to hunt for dresses..but it was kind of cool, the party I mean..got some compliments on the look not necessarily good though ;) thanks to Y and J..the party was kind of good..some hilarious characters..my personal favourites were Lady Gaga (awesome wig), Hip Hopper, Ram, Gabbar, Thakur and Rocket Singh..Here is a look of mine with S's Dabanng glasses..

I know I know..it doesn't go with my image..though I was feeling a bit out of place which I always feel in parties :( In fact, there are very few places where I don't feel out of place.. I have kind of become a social recluse..today, a friend of mine pinged me... I wasn't in a mood to talk..So I made an excuse that it is my sister who is using my account and I forgot to sign out..very bad of me :( but I will write a long mail to my friend.. I love writing mails to friends..I miss writing letters too but sadly there is no one to whom I can write letters..

And it's almost 2 months that I haven't watched a movie (except Dabbanng, which I watched half heartedly) Anjaana Anjaani is the one I am currently waiting for (obsessed with its trailers as evident form the previous posts)..was supposed to release last Friday but Babri verdict put it off.. was planning to take a chuuti on that day to watch that movie but alas!! I hope it is good..looks good from the trailers and the music (Tujhe bhula diya is an awesome song)..will write another post on its theme..What do you want to do before you die? very thought provoking question..

It is exactly one year to Wake Up Sid..one of my fav movie released last year at this very time.. I have said this before also and repeat.. Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra (no matter how many surgeries she has undergone) are such 'beautiful' people..drop dead gorgeous..every time I see them together I am in complete awe of their beauty.. another person who makes me think like this is Scarlett Johannson..very very pretty..there are many others (both men and women!!) who can just capture you by just their beauty..

Hmm..and I am currently reading The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo..totally kick ass book..the film is making waves all over..

On the personal front, things not going very well but I have learnt to accept some things that some things (and some people too!!) in life are just not made for some people..

I want to do so many things in life but I never take the first step I will try to...OK enough for now... more later.. instead of dialogue today I will put a quote

Goodbye without reasons is the most painful one..Love without reason is the most beautiful one..

I do give a damn...

Mere saath na kuch bhi theek nahi ho raha hai :(

For the last 2 weeks, I am feeling helpless..and alone...

Some people say to me..you have everything..what else do you require in life?

It is very hard to explain to them because they won't understand..everybody tries to look at the surface from their own perspective...no one is able to quite understand what the other person could be actually going through..I am not blaming anyone..it is a simple fact of life..

And my mom has stopped talking to me and the reason she gave to me made me angry and sad..sob :'(

I hate myself.. That is why I don't deserve anything in life..

I wish I could be like Rhett Butler: Frankly honey, I don't give a damn..

I can't be like him..anyways..

Three weeks I haven't watched any movie..not even at home.. I am also not reading any book..I am missing the old me who used to read so much :(

I hate change if it doesn't make me feel good.....

I will still try to be positive *hopefully*

Of Lovers, Made For Each Other...

I had written a post Of Lovers not made for each other, that post made people think I am in love ;) here is another version but with a happier conext. Some instances have been inspired which you will figure out, the rest howevr is me..

Here it is...

Six billion people..six billion souls.. and all you just need is one..Yes, I have found my soul mate and you know who it is? Of course you know that who could else be...It is you :)

I don't know why but ever since we have been together, my life has changed. There is this new optimism and a sense of exhilaration that has come up, the two things which I don't have a good relationship with. You have brought a new hope in my life that yes..there is someone there for me..someone who will listen to me..you have brought this new zeal in me to survive..to fight..to not procrastinate..you are like a beacon of light in the stormy sea I am sailing my rudderless ship..At the end of the day, when I see you or hear your voice, it makes me fresh just like the smell of the parched ground when the first monsoon rains come..It is like you are my rainbow bringing the colours in my dull life..

As Ross said to Emily, that when he is with her she brings out a totally different side to him, it is the same with me..I am an altogether new person when I am with you, a persona to me which I knew I ever had, you bring out the best of me..perhaps an idealized version of myself which I always wanted to be but owing to circumstances had to retreat that new 'I' into a shell to protect that side from this dark world..and also you bring out the romantic in me which I never thought I could be one ;)

You know I read somewhere that God intentionally did not make our fingers webbed..because he wanted someone else's fingers to fit into ours when we join hands. Holding hands is God's first sign of people in love. As corny it may sound, but when I hold your hands, it makes me feel connected to you..to your heart..

You remember the song Tum Se Hi from Jab We Met, Aditya sees Geet everywhere he goes..in his office, in his work, in the rains, in his dreams.. the same effect you have cast on me. You have become an inseparable part of my existence. You are not there but still you are there. You know when people look at the stars at the night and how they find patterns there like some ship or etc. I see your face in those stars..in the patterns those shiny cottony clouds make.. in the sand that has been left ashore by the all powerful sea waves..I see you everywhere..as if you have touched my soul and I was born just to be with you..

According to a Chinese tradition, people gift a ring to their beloved that is worn on the ring finger as its nerve has a straight connection to the heart..Today I found one more reason for that..Join both your hands..Now with all your fingers joined, try to separate your thumbs..they would easily separate out..try this for the next finger they would also..But try separating your ring fingers, it would be very hard to move them away from each other..that is why I am giving you this ring as this would never be separated from you :)

Sometimes I get this urge to mess up your hair..to slap you like a kid..to give you a big hug..to dance in the rain..to wear your shirt and sometimes just to keep looking at you. I don't know why but it comes from within..

Yesterday was full moon night and when I was young, someone told me that if you try and focus on the moon, you will see God in the moon. I always tried but somehow I could not. I tried that same thing again and you know what I saw? I saw you.. as if you have become my God..perhaps I was missing you so much that is the reason but from that moment, it is as if I have found out what that eternal entity siting in the heaven looks like.

Someone asked me that who is the one for whom I will be willing to die a thousand deaths just to spend some moments with you. I closed my eyes and saw you. It made me think that I was born just to be with you.

Sometimes, I pinch my self that to make sure that I am not living a dream. It is for the first time that I feel happy and being happy makes me happy instead of being sad makes me happy. You are the exuberance of my life..of my existence.. I just pray that you are there with as long as I am there. I cannot imagine my life without you..you are the purpose of my life.. Miss you always..

One..

Six billion people in this world..Six billion souls.. and all you need is One..

Of A******s

I am no sadist but I just feel like slapping one person real real hard..bloody asshole.. who does this weirdo think he is?

Today was a real real bad day..not because of work..but because of some bloody homo sapiens..but what did I do then? Just came back from the scene and kept cursing myself :(

Anyway why spoil my mood because of a bloody fool..

I will be happy.. One person just made my day..felt real nice after talking to you..thanks a ton R :)

Song of the day: Dil hai chota sa..choti si aasha..

Dlaiogue of the day: Main ek aisa khel khel raha hai hun jisme dono taraf se haar meri hi hai......#Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam 8-)

Of Jaane Bhi Do, Peepli [Live] and Class 11 Essay...

I remember watching Jaane bhi do yaaron for the first time ever on 26 January 2010 i.e. Republic Day. I had heard it to be the funniest Hindi film ever, instead I found it be one of the saddest films ever (of course, not in a ridiculing sort of way!). There was this uneasy hopelessness and a feeling of tragedy associated with it..as a black comedy, it was meant to be this way but it made me real sad..And see the co-incidence of fate, here I am watching Peepli [Live] on a day before 15 August i.e. Independence Day..

Peepli [Live] is one of the finest films that I have seen in a long long time and must say I had the privilege of watching a film second day first show ;) that would go down as a classic in the years to follow. Another black comedy in the same league as Jaane bhi do.. the satirical film would leave you in splits. Behind the veneer of humour, the movie is full of pathos and has a utter melancholy and dystopian side attached to it.

By now, many of you who haven't see the film (Stop reading this crap and watch it now), the film is about a debt ridden farmer who is tricked by his brother who convinces him to commit suicide as his death would give them monetary compensation to survive. A local reporter overhears this and contacts a national TV channel for this 'Exclusive' story. And here it starts, the India TV syndrome to grab the most eyeballs leads to all channels covering this story leading to a mela at Natha's house. Since Peepli by-elections are also taking place, the politicians enter the fray as they say 'rajneeti ki rotiyaan sekna'. The beauty of the film lies that without preaching so much it tries to portray so many issues - the paid news, the media wars, the caste politics, the corruption, the useful (or useless) schemes, rural migration, American lobbying, the life in rural India, the sensationalism in the media, and so many more..

In one scene, Naths's brother Budhia says something like this "agar marega to kitni izzat hogi" and Natha replies "agar zinda hi nahi rahenge to izzat ka kya karenge." In another dialogue (the strength of the film), a politician says "aaj kal zindagi to bell bottom ho gayi hai, aur khudh khushi to jeans se nikalta hua pet." The obsession to grab TRPs is so fierce that Natha is followed even when he goes to defecate "18vi baar ja raha hai lagta hai julaab ho gaya hai" or that scene where Deepak psychoanalyses Nath'a multi colored turd "Manovigyaniko ke mutabik manushya ke mal se uski mansik stithi ka pata lagaya ja sakta hai aur yeh raha Natha ka aakhri aasan"

My favourite subplot of the film was with Rakesh and the poor farmer Mahto. Rakesh watching the eight-pack ab ribs showing farmer digging and he remarks "C******, kaun sa khajana khod raha hai", later realising that Mahto used to sell that mud to a brick kiln to survive and one day Mahto dies while digging, as if in a way all this time he was digging his own grave.. This scene brought a lump in my throat.. In another hard hitting scene, Rakesh goes and tells Nandita ( a Brakha Dutt look alike) that does only Natha matter? Don't the lives of other nameless farmers who are living in horrifying conditions matter to us? and she pragmatically replies "This is journalism, if you can't survive it then don't be in it" This scene summed up what we are witnessing in our society today...

Apart from the media, the politician class isn't spared either.. the red tape has become so entrenched in our bureaucracy that even Kafka would be surprised. Rajeev Gandhi famously remarked that only 15 paise reach the poor of every one rupee spent on them. It's not that we do not have the resources but everyone wants to have a pie of the resources. Like the election symbol of the Jan Samman Party (look at the irony, samman???) was a lock and a key, but the problem is who will put the key in the lock? Lal Bahadur to de diya lekin use lagvayega kaun? TV to de diya lekin bijli kaun dega ghar me?? Natha card to start kar diya lekin lagoo state governments karengi (the same is happening with Right to Education).. Mare hue kisano ke liye yojana hai lekin zinda kisano ke liye nahi.. marne ke ichhuk kisano ke liye ek yojana start kar do.. How ridiculous is that?

But perhaps, my best scene was when Natha's goat playfully nudges him while he tries to sleep and he tries to shoo them away, but ultimately gives in to them and he starts playing with them.. Amazing scene..vulnerable, innocent, dreamy Natha..

Take a bow Anusha Rizvi (and please can we have less of publicity hungry Aamir Khan) it is her script and the script and the direction truly belong to her. A special mention for all characters epecially beedi phuking kickass Amma and her fiesty kulta Bahu, Budhia, Deepak, Rakesh, and Nandita..Mahangayi dayan and desh mera rangras hai babu deserve special mention too..

Talking of media, I remember in Class 11, in English exam, we had to write on "In India, the media is glamour struck". Since it was pre-India TV days, everybody had gone on and on about how media is obsessed with Bollywood ( I know Siddharth would hate me even more for using this term) and then our ma'am said it is not only about Bollywood, the glamour in the sense means that the media has made an issue as tragic and scary as the Iraq war in to some sort of a fantasy. And how things have changed, if we are told to write on this topic today, books could be written. I am not crtiticising the media but the needless romanticisation that it has become famous for. The 26/11 attacks, the Sania Shoaib marriage, the Prince in a hole, the Arushi murder case, the Gudiya-what will-she-do-now case (remember her, the lady who was raped by her father in law) and so many more issues that media has gone overboard.. Peepli [Live] showcase this brilliantly..The Saif 12vi-umar-ka-chumbhan!!

I have gone a bit hyperbole (an understatement) but Peepli made me think a lot. I wanted to write about left and right wing economic policies as well but I guess I will keep them for another post.

Long time, I had written about a movie. Peepli [Live] is worth watching again and again..

P.S. Since I have written so much of Peepli, dialogue of the day is from the trailer of Anjaana Anjaani

Kiara: Maine tumhe bahut jaane lagi hun..tum anjaane hi acche the Aakash...

Of Rainbows, Anjaana Anjaani and baanta hua pyar...

I love the trailer of Anjaana Anjaani..

Forget Worries

Forget Pain

Forget Sorrow

Forget Expectations

Forget Guilt

Forget Pressures

Forget Anxiety

Forget Disappointment

Sigh! if only, it was that simple in real life..perhaps that is why I love movies so much..It helps me escape from the realities I dither to accept..

Anyway..there is this scene in its trailer, when Ranbir opens his mouth and lights in the form on rainbow switch on and reach Priyanka standing on the other side..as if the rainbow is staring from his mouth..Just amazing scene that..I keep on watching that trailer again and again just because of that spell binding scene..

I like Priyanka's name Kiara too..what a couple they make!! Both drop dead gorgeous..mirror cracking material as orkut used to say when it gave shady options to define your looks on your profile..

Talking of rainbows, I have been fascinated by them since I came to know about dispersion in Class 8 I guess..isn't it just thrilling that a white light can split into seven colours forming this resplendent pattern??? Nature always surprises you!! And while sitting on the flight from Goa to Mumbai, I saw this rainbow from the window seat and just kept looking at it..as if it was following me..What a sight it was!! Maybe that is why I am in awe of the trailer from Anjaana Anjaani..

Long time since I wrote a dialogue or song of the day..

Malhotra: Shayd Rahul ki jagah aur koi hota tab bhi mujhe itna hi bura lagta..

Tina: Papa??

Malhotra: Tumhara pyar bat jayega na..

Song of the day: Tanha Tanha yahan pe jeena yeh koi baat hai..[special mention of the flute played in the song and Urmila's signature dance step :)]

Of Chambal ke Daku and Courageous Gudia

Amazing!! Brilliant!! Courageous!! Daring!! Exceptional!! Ferocious!! Gutsy!!

I can complete the alphabetic list for this lady who had the guts to go to Chambal to get her husband back from the notorious dacoits. The dacoit sardar got so impressed that he called her sister and gave her Rs. 5,100 in cash. Now that is called brave..Would any woman, in fact anyone go to a place where there is no woman in a 50 km radius..it requires great courage and belief in yourself to do this..I simply salute that lady..After a really really long time, I saw something that gave me goosebumps..very very inspiring!! Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear..So fitting to this lady Ms. Gudia. Read the whole story here

On second thoughts, what a film this would make!! The beautiful Mahie Gill or Tabu would be perfect..

P.S.- I just saw a barsaati keeda fly in to my room and decided to scream for help :

Photo of the year...

I was so happppppppy to meet Rajdeep Sardesai at Delhi Airport..my first flight ever :) He was in our plane..late I saw his wife Sagarika Ghose was also there with him..else I would have taken a photo with her too :))
He is like my idol..I always wanted to be a brilliant journalist like him (there are others on the list too..)
Anyway what he said I will write later..
Back from Goa..I am in love with the sea waves..Can sit there all day..
P.S. - I am a horrible horrible person..I always land up in trouble or put others in to it..perhaps that is why God also does not support me :(

Of Rachel, Ross and One Sided Love...

This is one of my favourite episodes when Rachel comes and watches Ross kissing Emily she realizes that nothing will happen even if she tells Ross that she loves him so much :(

I love Rachel's emotions in this episode..the way she said "I just came to say Congratulations" and she keeps on crying :(

The thing about Love is..Love is when you shed a tear and still want that person, it is when that person ignores you and you still love them unconditionally, it is when that person loves someone else but you still smile and say I am happy for you , when all you really do is cry...

You will know that you love someone when you want him/her to be happy even if it means that you are not a part of their happiness..

:'(

Happy Friendship Day

01 August 2010
Happy Friendship Day
Chandler and Joey
Rachel and Monica
Phoebe and Joey
Christina and Meredith
Mark and Callie
Aakash, Sidharth and Sameer
Aditya and Geet
Zeenat and Meera
Rahul and Anjali
I missed you so much today :(

Of Totems..

What should be my totem? My real life itself is a totem...I don't need a totem..
Hmmm.. Inception.. awe inspiring.. What did I watch?? I can watch it again!! reminded me of No Smoking..another brilliant film..Hmm
Song of the day : Inception inspired.. kaisi hai yeh ruth jisme phool banke dil khile..

Aadha sa vaada kabhi aadhe se zyada kabhi..

My life sucks bigtime..I dont even want to write about it..This week was so bloody shit..Period!
Dialogue of the day:
Aditya: Geet pata hai, tumne mujha kitna hurt kiya hai...
Main tera sarmaya hun..jo bhi main ban paya hun..tum se hi ..tum se hi..raaste mil jate hai..manzile mil jaati hain...

Of Bailey...

Meredith: Lexie always has inappropriate feelings for inappropriate people

Pankaj: Who doesn't?

After George died (still in cry mood), I want to be like you Miranda..you are my idol :)

Peter Keating :(

I don't want to end up like Peter Keating :(
Will I?
I respect you so much Howard Roark..:(

The voice in my head...

As I wake up in the morning..
the voice in my head gives me a warning..
how long will you on cribbing..
Till you finally find what do you want to do for a living...

The voice is my head is my all weather companion..
It makes me laugh till the point of exhaustion..
and makes me cry on my life as if I am peeling an onion..

As I try to decipher the enigma of Mona Lisa's smile..
the voice in my head says painter or artist for a while..
As I admire the resplendent moves of a a contemporary hip hopper..
the voice in my head echoes 'I too am a disco dancer'..
As I take an ambulatory stroll..
the voice in my head gives me another phone call..
See those pigeons flying in full vigour..
Just get your camera to capture them in full splendour..
As I shed copious tears while watching Up in the Air..
the old monster in my head screams hmm..the director's chair...

Confused, ambitious, perplexed, helpless, frustrated, hope hopen it makes me..
As I see an author, philosopher, or a tarot card reader...
if only the voice in my head could wake up the voice in my heart from its deep slumber..

Of Solving the Equation of Life..

If X+Y+Z=0, then X^3 + Y^3 + Z^3 = 3(XYZ).. can we substitute our life into these formulae?

Then Schrodinger's wave equation would have tough competition to be called as the one of the complex equations in Physics as Life's Perpetual Complexity Equation would give it a run for its money..Life's Perpetual Complexity equation has this special qualtiy that the number of variables in the equation is also variable depending upon each individaul, such as date, time, period, people around you, mangal, budh, shani, shukra, rahu, ketu, and the list goes on..

One day I will get the Nobel Prize for solving the Life's Perpetual Complexity Equation.. Then I will laugh at Einstein who got Nobel for Photoelectric effect!!!! rather than the theory of relativity..heehaw! I must start preparing my speech for it as Phoebe and Rachel do..Phoebe says "Oh!! It's just so unexpected..I uh..oh boy, I tell you it is just such an honour to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and you know to win for a massage"

I love you Phoebe!

Thanks to Aastha for being the inspiration behind this post!

Noor-e-khuda, tu kahan chupa hai hume yeh bata..yun na humse nazre chura....

Dialogues of the day:
1. Abey luti hui Sultanat ke pite hue sultan
2. Wha re lallu, kya sochi door ki, shakal hai langoor ki, lekin chaht kisi hoor ki

I complete myself...

This is what Javed Akhtar tweeted today..

Maine yeh keh kar dil ko samjhaya hai...vo jo chala gaya vo mera tha hi nahin....

Vo bewafa hua to iska gham nahi..hum be yakeen ho gaye haan iska gham to hai..

So true these lines are :'(

It's only words and words are all I have to take you heart away...

Notting Hill: I am just a girl, standing in front of boy, asking him to love her..

The day I died was the best day of my life...

Jerry Maguire: You complete me...

.

Thanks Angela!

Today Angela sent a friend request on Facebook..Curious that I was, I asked her who she was because I don't know her..Turns out she read my "A thing of beauty is a joy forever" post..It is amazing how people can connect just by words...Hey thanks a lot Angela...It really made my day..

Of Impromptu Photography

My mobile phone camera sucks but still I love it..it is the only thing that comes to rescue when I have to click a picture immediately..

Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign le kar aao jisne mere haath par yeh likh diya tha...


The view from the office's 6th floor balcony on the day it was raining..it seemed I could catch the clouds..



Hitesh's heart shaped lunch box ;D jahan dekho apna dil baanta rehta hai...dil to lunch box hai ji..

Talking of shapes, I got this beautiful bottle..kya figure hai.. Men would appreciate more..36-24-28..

As they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, a bottle can be as beautiful :)



This one I clicked when Disha was putting make up while looking in the rear view mirror.. Party me jaa rahi thi to gaadi me hi make up shake up start ho gaya..


This one is the standing truck!!!!! while going to office, it became some sort of a tourist attraction...Hope the driver is fine..

Bhaisahab Dhoni ki shaadi thi...to uski shaadi to hum bhi manayenge...kaaala sha kaala.. dulhan ke dewar yun tum dikhlayo na yun tewar..

I know the last one should get the Razzie for worst pic ever ;D I got this clicked at Shopper's Stop while window shopping..

Anyway I have got a digicam..so will put more pics..yipeee

Dialogue of the week: Chal Dhano, teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawaal hai..
Song of the week: Aishaaaaaaaa

Deewar....

Sometimes life questions you at every step....I mean just opening a new tab...What do you want to do next? I don't know :(

Can't wait for Udaan..I hope I learn something from it..
Why was I left behind...really really really behind...
Anyway... mere pass gaadi hai bangla hai bank balance hai..tumhare paas kya hai...
mere paas kuch bhi nahi hai :'(

Of Random Chemistry...

Am I that bad :(
2 days.. 2 incidents.. 2 people..
Never mind..

The bond lengths of both double and single bonds in benzene is same, signifying that the position of bonds is not fixed but that the electrons are rotating in the plane of the ring leading to resonance..

When will I be resonating..seems that the electrons in my nucleus have found a better electrophile wanting to break both my double and single bonds...my ortho and para and even meta position is electron repelling..Friedal Crafts' electrophilic substitution of benzene ring..

Never mind...

Some things are just not made for you :( and those that are you don't want them..

Never mind...

Am I really that bad :(

Never mind...

The five stages of grief..anger, denial, bargaining, depression...and acceptance...

Never mind..

Phoebe: Jingle bitch screwed me over..go to hell Jingle whore..go to hell..go to hell..go to hell hell hell...

Never mind..

Kaun hai vo jiske saath ek pal bitane me tumhe 1000 maut kabool hai - Dil Chahta Hai...

Mera dil to sach much bahut kuch chahta hai but...

The hybridisation state of ethyne is sp..planar....

What is the hybridisation state of Pankaj? It's complicated..

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka..ke sar jhuka jahan..deedar hua....

Jay: Kabhi kabhi khush rehne ke liye khul kar jeena padta hai...you need to break free and loose control..

Hmmm..will I ever be able to break free :(

Will I ever get my own love story :(

I loved the scene when Simran goes and dances in the rain..and another scene where she gets drunk when J say my wife is pregnant..

It is a bit embarrassing but I totally loved Simran's character when she falls in love with J and when Jay says pyar vyar kuch nahi hota and she says nahi! aisa mere saath hua hai..and she apologises for faling in love with him...:(

Loved the songs especially Sadka kiya.. and Bahara Baharaa..

Kuch khwaab dekhe hain..kuch rang soche hain....

Ab maine kal apne tere sang soche hain...

Is raah me jab bhi tu saath hoti hai,

Kisson ke panno ki har baat hoti hai

Roor mein jo hui fida..toh pal me uthi koyi sada..

Ke dil se hua judaa judaa..toota main iss tarah..

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka..ke sar jhuka jahan..deedar hua....

Paris is a city of Gunthers....

Dear Pankaj,

You have been such a sweet friend, so enjoyed eating your yummy things from time to time ..take care always..I really hope you do amazingly well in life..will miss my neighbour..wish you all the best..

P.S. - No relation of the letter to the title.. just missing Phoebe :(

What will you choose? Love or Surgery?

Grey's Anatomy :(
I am still crying..
1. Christina: I choose my gift
2. Owen: People do matter

3. Izzie: The surgery is the one you come home from but what is important is who you come home to.. Love is more important..

4. Man: You know what's demeaning? To love a person who thinks so low of you but you still love..

5. Fat Patient: I don't want to live life where I have to reduce myself everyday
:( :(

Of People Leaving and Unexpected Surprises...

Today it was Hitaishi (who by name appears to be Hitesh's sister :P) last day.. When she was leaving, I don't know I felt sad..I have known her for 8 months only but I was a little unhappy.. She is one the sweetest persons I know..everyone came to her desk and wished her well..I was watching this all day..I made me feel as if it was my last day..Well, I gave her the book Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez..Hmm and surprise! she also gave me soft toy with a message written for me..I will put its pic :) but it made me feel real nice, more so because it was unexpected!! Thanks a lot Hitaishi for that :) I also wrote something for her.

And it was Rahul's birthday also, to whom I gave The Bioscope Man by Indrajit Hazra..it was a book which he once told me that he wants it and I remembered that..so on his birthday, I gave him that and it made me feel nice that he really liked it (hopefully)...

He is also leaving next month and the 2 people who sit opposite me will be gone.. new people will come but I don't know will I be able to gel with them :( Left alone again..

Hmmm..

Living in the Shell....

On Friday, Disha and I were coming back in the cab and she told me something which I have actually been experiencing for some time..

We were talking about change and making our philosophies for change.I told her that I hate change and she was like your life now would change so much that you would stop bothering about change...

But it was the second thing here that I am talking about....She has been working for three years and she told me that she was also like me earlier..but she has become very mature now..She said that till now you have been living a very protected life, you world revolves around your family or your friends..but now you have joined the corporate world so you are metaphorically speaking naked..Now you are all alone..there is no one to help you..your parents and all your friends will stop understanding you and relating to your problems..they won't be able to see what you are going through so you have to stand on your own...this world is a harsh one and you are all alone, so face everything on your own..

I actually knew this thing and have been feeling the same..the friends in college who I talked to, they can't understand what I face..everything has changed..my parents don't even know what I work on.. I must admit I have always been living in this protected shell and still am but these days I feel I am all alone..as my previous blog posts say, I feel something is different..I don't know whether I would be able to survive on my own or always need a helping hand..My friend just got married and I am still living in my dream world..Life is changing yeah..and really fast..God! give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other..

Of Experiencing Surrealism

Hmmm.. now about this fellow called Hitesh Sachdeva!! Never talked to him in college, different branch, but got in the same company, we are 10 people from the same college. But now I go and tell him everything!! every office gossip and every little crib that I have to do, I go and tell him.. He stays in GK-1 and we shared the same cab but now he has left the cab, so we became good friends during cab rides :) He is the exact opposite of me.. totally dashing (every girl is flat on him!!), even Mummy said "yeh ladka kitna sundar aur smart hai" :D, outgoing, cool, popular, good at everything he does, sensible, how to handle difficult situations, he knows every god damn sports in the world, smooth talker :D and I am his exact opposite..totally dumb and duffer.. but still you know there is this feeling of what do I say "apna jaisa lagta hai" as in like family (we have the same surname as well).. he keeps on telling me "jab mera birthday ayega to main tujhe daaru pilaunga" hahahahaha! piyakkad kahin ha..every weekend he is sloshed! But he is very good at heart. I just can't wait to dance on his wedding which is still 7-8 years away :D Pata nahi, tab tak to bhool hi jayega mujhe :( He scolds me sometimes to do things the correct way. I have a good time with him. I respect him a lot. I consider him to be my good friend but I don't know about the same from his side..sometimes I feel he doesn't like me when he is with his type of people : as in I feel I chepofy him :( There were many instances when I felt this way but it is ok..I am his good friend and not he! But he is one of my coolest friends..All friends that I have are like me..but he is totally opposite so it is kind of surreal that such a person could be friends with me :) Ok!! But I wish this friendship remains forever :)

Acchaa..

H: Koi kamasutra types film nahi aa rahi?
P: Hahahaha

Yamini Goyal is friends on Facebook with who all?

Hmmm...

The last two weeks in office have been quite stressing... running here and there..do this..do that..yeh vo..huh!

Anyways...

You know I feel awful ...why is that I have to run after you every time? It makes me feel unwanted.. Is there something in me that repels you? Ok fine.. I will not trouble you anymore..In life I have faced many disappointments, I will add one more to it..

Hmmm..so time is running out..a decision has to be made and that too real fast..but the problem is how do I make that? It seems I am trapped in Kafkaesque world..There is no one to help me and it scares me that if I take a wrong decision, it could spoil many things.. but I have to be brave..there is no other option..Pankaj..do it fast fast!! remember God helps those who help themselves..

All my life I have worked so hard.. I have not got anything served on a platter..burnt the midnight oil like anything..yes, no one forced me to do but I wanted it for myself..Life hasn't been that easy as it looks..I have made some big blunders and screwed so many things but still I did not give up..I have seen people getting things they want granted to them like charity..bas maange ki der thi..it has never happened to me..I had to fight for things..I have no one to guide me..no body to help me.. I have taken my own decisions.. but then I feel after 23 years, where have I landed? Sometimes, it really hurts that after so much did I achieve anything at all? I have been plagued by these thoughts for the last two weeks.. it hurts! it really does...

Anyway someone came on my blog searching "Yamini Goyal is friends on Facebook with who all" ... this brought a smile to my usually dull night... oh thank God! for the small mercies! See Yamini Sachdeva! teri judwaa behen bhi hai Yamini Goyal :D

I will still try to be happy.. I am happy :)

Song of the Week.. Aaj piya tohe pyaar dun..love this line especially tu sukh mera lele..main dukh tere lelu...main bhi jiyun tu bhi jiye...

If only someone could love me!