Thursday, October 29, 2009

Life's like that only...

So, office has finally has been 10 days almost.. Cab comes around 7.35-40 and reaches Noida about how has it been for me? Till now it is absolutely fine but the problem is that I am not used to office life yet, so sitting and working whole day is a sea change for a person like me who did not do any work for the last 3-4 months except just lazing around *pure bliss* people here are really nice and friendly and I know a lot of people from college who have joined with me, so we all stay together generally..
I am a slightly reserved person and it find it very difficult to change myself..but its ok..and about the work, now there is a little less workload but sometimes I fear whether I would be able to do the work up to the expectations or not :(
But the only grouse I have is that I am not getting time for myself ..I am not able to read the book that I had stared..I can’t watch movies because I am so tired after coming that my eyes just doze off as soon as I hit the bed…I just hope that I get used to life as as soon as possible because the fact is sooner or later we have to work for life anyways..whether it happens now or 5 years later is just a matter of time.. Now I realize that life ain’t easy dear difficult it is to earn a penny.. Even to wake up in the morning is a battle..I keep counting how many days left to go in the week..
5 :’(
4 :(
2 :/
1 :)
Now waiting for my first salary :-)))))))) bye for now…hope I am able to update at the same pace…

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Think it Over...

A beautiful poem I came across in HT, the context was Indira Gandhi.. a beautiful composition...
I have loved you before,
This meeting, this life, seems just another round,
One of thousands,
One of one, endless current,
In which new love is recognition,
Nothing more than a new shape,
For two pieces of an ancient heart,
And I will love you again,
And toss my soul to the sea until it breaks upon the tide,
As it will, as it must, to take shape again,
A limpet soul that clings to you
For I would make this round a thousand times
To find your love in every life

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A Picture is worth a 1000 Words :-)

Isn't this a beautiful drawing?
Courtesy : English Spoken Here...
How globalization is changing the Indian novel.
By Chandrahas Choudhury

Thursday, October 15, 2009

On Religion...

I was walking outside my house and heard those little kids,who were playing and talking amongst themselves. They were saying, " Tu punjabi nahi hai, teri dadi thori punjabi hai, yeh punjabi hai kyunki iske nana ji bhi Sardarji hai". Their talk went about distinguishing " Tu hindu hai", " Tu Punjabi Hai". These are just innocuous remarks but isn't it in a way tragic and sad that these kids are discussing religion without even understanding how private an affair religion is. But why to blame the kids? People in our country don't realize that their relationship to God is something very personal and no religion is superior or inferior.Our polity claims to be secular which means that the State has no religion. But this secularism is thrown in to the bin when elections come about and calculations on religion and caste decide who gets the ticket.
Lately I have come to know about people who are "atheists". Being a nastik, evokes a certain sense of shock (perhaps except for the Communists) in our society but I have nothing but respect for these people who have the ability to question and might have arrived at being an atheist after some extensive thinking. Most of us (including me) follow what we are told, we have never questioned about the existence of a supernatural power and we simply believe in what others tell us. I remember last year a campaign ran in Britain where atheist groups wrote on buses " Stop worrying and Start living, because there's no god". I can imagine the horror and shock that such a campaign, if at all, ever takes place in India. We must start questioning and arrive at a decision logically and not just blindly aping someone...But firstly I should this do myself rather giving a lecture to others.Huh!

A New Phase..

Scared, really scared... start my job from Monday (hopefully) if everyhting goes fine and no more delays..

am really really nervous..

a new phase starts..

i hope i become a better person than i am now :(

Saturday, October 10, 2009

What I want from life...

Soumya Bhattacharya, one of my favourtie columnist, wrote the following in last week's Dad's the Word. I am not really sure but I guess I want the best of the both world. Yeah, I am acting too greedy and it never going to happen but.........

In the opening pages of Nobel Laureate JM Coetzee’s new book, Summertime, two old school mates meet by chance. One of them — the one who tried to understand things as a child — is now a writer and a poet; he lives with his father in an old, damp cottage. The other — the one who was a duffer seeking to get ahead in the world — is now a marketing man (“marketer or marketeer”, Coetzee writes with an admixture of contempt and bewilderment); he is affluent, cocksure, and lives across the road in a huge house and drives a BMW.

What does that suggest about the world, Coetzee asks. And then goes on to give his answer. No, this is not me ranting.

This is the Nobel Prize winner for literature, so his thoughts ought to have rather more heft and clout than mine.
And this is what he has to say: “... Understanding things is a waste of time; that if you want to succeed in the world and have a happy family and a nice home and a BMW you should not try to understand things but just add up the numbers or press the buttons or do whatever else it is that marketers are so richly rewarded for doing.”

Think about it. You might not want to, on a Sunday morning, but then, given that we do so much through the week, we should set aside some time to think on Sundays.I indulge in the sort of etiolated, inconclusive, disjointed meanderings of the mind that pass for thinking in my case. But you are not me, are you? Who knows, you could even be — like the man Coetzee writes about, and like some of my friends — someone who is richly rewarded for adding up the numbers and pressing the buttons.

So think about what you might want for your child. Would you want her to understand things as she grows up? Or would you rather she got ahead and pursued the path to what Coetzee calls “material success”?I am as always confused.

I think (I think, I don’t know) I would want for her:
1. To know about things. (Is that understanding? Well, no. But it could be Step 1 towards it.)
2. To be interested in the arts, literature, sport, culture.
3. To be passionate about some of the above things.
4. To be not overly passionate about money, and the accoutrements of material success. To not be competitive in the least about those things. To value money, but not crave it, more and more of it.
5. To enjoy and love whatever it is that she ends up doing.
6. However she turns out to be, to not worry too much about however she has turned out to be. To be happy. Above all, to be happy.

Now what if pushing the right buttons makes her happy? What then? I told you, didn’t I, that I am not much good at thinking? How about you?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


For the past few days, a lot of co-incidental events have been happening. So here is what happened.

I had this book The Ground beneath her feet by Salman Rushdie, my favourite author :-). I was gifted this book by Y on my last birthday. I didn't read it then and kept in my tiny library thinking that I will read later. Now after 4-5 months, I had nothing to read and was thinking what to read next. So I finally start reading this book. And since I have been learning Spanish for the past few months,what happens is that the book is based in Mexico and has some Spanish words and phrases, which I can now make out what they mean! I had no idea that this would have some Spanish references and if I had read this book earlier I would have some problem in appreciating the wonderful language that Mr. Rushdie uses. What a co-incidence! It could have been any other language and I could have read it before but as they say right place at the right moment!

I love Grey's Anatomy and in one episode, Dr. Miranda Bailey talks about seeing the bigger picture. She says she is missing something and wants to see the whole picture. She finally understands whta she is mssing when she comes out of the surgery thatshe is performing and then sees through the window what she missed.And at that very night, in the book that I have been reading, I read this terrific line, " The only people who can see the complete picture are those who are out of the picture" . Almost the real life imitation of the line!!!!

Recently, I was planning to go to my school for some work after almost 4 1/2 years. And on the day I was thinking, I see my Physics ma'am Mrs. Nopani pass by in front of my eyes near my house! while I was going to some shop to get something!! I mean, never did I see her before for the last 5 years and the day I was thinking about school, I see her! and when I had gone to watch Wake Up Sid! I see another teacher of mine. Mrs. Kanda!!

I mean these are tiny incidents ( not even incidents to be true) but isn't it strange that when you least expect something to happen, it happens before you can even expect! Although, this is not mysterious like the story 'Face on the Wall' which we read in Class 12 but still these co-incidents always continue to surprise me :-)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Closed Book...

The following post is nonsensical to anyone except me so do not waste your precious time by reading it (though I doubt, there are any readers :] )
Don't know what is happening. My mood is so off. There are some things that hit you the most where it hurts a lot. And it even hurts more when you have only yourself to blame. I have been running away from something, instead of facing it, solving it. Ever since I was young, I had a dream that I wanted to be like this, like that..wanted to have something special. For the past few days, I have realised that it is not going the way I planned. I thought slowly things turn out to be fine but it is not. I think I will remain a wannabe of what I want. Life has given me so many things which for others might be nothing but for me those small things really matter. But there is one thing which I desperately need. I need that self confidence. I am very self deprecating and I don't want to be like that. Modesty is one thing but I think but this is not modesty. I am very self conscious to the extent that while writing this post I do not like to use 'I' as it makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I know that it very easy for others to say that it comes easily but I have reached such an age where it is hard to change myself. It is extremely hard to bring the changes in you. I have tried so many times in the past but it has always backfired leaving me even more frustrated. I still curse that day in Class 8 which I think sowed the seeds of this problem. I sometimes blame God why did he make me like this but to blame him/her (whoever God is), is the easiest way to run away from your faults. I don't know what life has in store but I don't want to be an escapist. I don't know that what I am writing makes sense or not but I don't care because it is coming from what I have been thinking for the past few days. It scares me, I can't sleep at night thinking what if ? There are so many more situations which are definitely going to arise and I haven't even given a thought to them. Don't know what life has in store but I don't want to be known as a loser :( scared, lonely, a closed book. I can't say anything to anyone becuase no one will understand. I am pretty sure of that :( :(