Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Of Dreams!

Hmmm..So it's Diwali today :) Happy Diwali :)

Last week, on October 20, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge completed sixteen years!! I simply love that film..Anupama Chopra writes about it that how it is more than a love story.. Like she says, that woman in this film are particularly more insightful as they really are..she brings this out  by giving examples such as Simran's dadi who can easily make out that Simran is not happy from inside and when Raj finally turns up, she calls Balli and says that it is for the first time she has seen happiness in her eyes! And she also cites Chutki's example that at the first meeting only, Chutki can make out that Kuljeet is not really a great guy! And of course, Simran's mom perhaps one of the most understanding moms ever..she cites that brilliant scene, when Lajjo says, that all through her life, she was discriminated against her brothers..her education was stopped just because she was a girl and then she made a promise to herself that she won't do the same with her daughters but she has lost again.and that is why she has come to ask for Simran's happiness!

As usual too much digression :), so there is a very poignant line that Lajjo says to Simran, "Khwaab dekho lekin unke pura hone ki shart mat rakho".. I have been thinking of dreams for some time..infact, there is particular line in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara that is the reason..That scene where Kabir says to Natasha that she should not change her self after their marriage. He says that is was her dream project and she should pursue that. And then she replies "Dreams change Kabir, pehle me vo karna chahthi thi lekin main ab yeh karna chahti hun". Can dreams change so easily? If you change dreams so easily without even pursuing them, then is it worth calling them dreams.. but if people can change over time, why can't dreams change? As usual, I know I am thinking too much..the thing to always keep in mind is that we typically see life in terms of black and white, which in reality is is very difficult to generalise such things and that is the beauty of is a mix of both good and bad things! So, a person might relentlessly pursue his dream, while the other might even change his dream due to circumstances..As someone said, there is a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone.

Meanwhile I had put this as my Facebook status last week, "Khwaab dekho lekin unke pura hone ki shart mat rakho".  So J sends me a message, "kya negative quote maarta rehta hai.. This quote from another SRK starrer is more like it - "Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai".

I don't think it is a negative quote at all! So I send him this reply, "I don't think so it is a negative quote..maybe you are thinking negative..In fact, it is one of the most inspirational talks about how to never stop dreaming and losing hope even when things are not going according to plan..don't be that rigid if things are not going as per the way you want..keep dreaming and keep hoping..and even in the movie, Simran started tearing her diary pages realising she will never find that andekha anjaana but her mom says to her you never know Kuljeet turns out to be that one should never lose hope!!"

So he sends me this reply: 

"Now your quote does not look negative..I was thinking the other way - I feel all dreams can be made to come true, we need to put in the effort to make them come true.. And if we really badly need them to come true (and put in our best efforts to do that) well they do come true.."

As I said, we should stop looking through the prism of right or wrong..things in reality are quite complex and too hard to group them in such categories..

But you know what is worse? Having no dreams at all :(

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Of Duniya and Diwali...

Long time no see :) No time to write anything at all.. The past few weeks have been totally a disaster..but no more sad thoughts at least for these days :)

So, I watch Bigg Boss on Colors..No not on TV but on their website..This week Raageshwari was eliminated. I have loved her since when I was 11 or 12 when I heard that song Duniya..brilliant it is! She disappeared somewhere after that but now she came back on Bigg Boss! I mean she is such a positive person after going through so much in life. She suffered from facial paralysis but she still did not lose hope..You can actually make out she is a genuinely nice person..after all she will give no drama, that is why she was eliminated. Seriously a very nice person! I have been continuously listening to this song 'Duniya' has some amazing lyrics..worth listening again and again! Infact, I love all her songs..

Baatne se aur nikharta, hain pyar ka rangan maul 
Mere hisse main aaya kitna, baith karu kya gaur
Yeh char dino ka mela hain 
Arey ha yeh duniya yeh duniya badi rangin peheli..

Meanwhile, Happy Diwali

Waise to aaj raat diwali ki raat hai.. ik deep apne dil mein jalao to baat hai - Javed Akhtar

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Ya..nothing is going right... absolutely has reached such an ebb that coming out of it seems so trying to be so positive but something or the other is getting wrong..ya am so worried for mum..I am not that strong ya..please theek ho jaye sab..I can only pray...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Of High Honors and A's Mail...

So long time no see :( The thing is for the last three weeks I have joined back office there has been humongous work :( I have have been working even on weekends and the thing is I have become very slow also. I don't feel like working as there are so many things going in my head these days :{ 

Anyways, you know this week I got an award as called R&R (Reward and Recognition) for this particular quarter. I had told about that 5 month long project that I had done with A. For that particular project, I got this trophy and a cash card of Rs. 5,000! Actually in our company, every quarter these awards are announced for people who have done some great work! So from my unit, I got this time. It was totally unexpected when S called out my name in front of the entire office and said certain things about me. I was so embarrassed as I just wanted to go back to my seat as soon as possible (as H said to me "your expression said just shut the fuck up and let me go back"). I am not very comfortable when I am in the limelight. S said about how dedicatedly I had worked on this project for such a long duration. Frankly speaking I think I got it because of the duration of the project. I mean I did not do great work in it, I did what I was asked to do. If I had not done it somebody else would have no? Maybe even better. The project was super tough and required a lot of re-work! I mean I used to make 15 slides and then one number changed all the slides and then go back to them and again re-do them! But I did not give any ideas on how to go about it. It's only due to A and S I got this.

Anyway, after that I sent a thank you mail to A.. this is what I wrote:

Yeah A as you know I am not very good with words. Today when S was saying about me, I just did not feel good because deep inside I knew that I don't deserve this. I am not buttering you and all but honestly I just did what you told me to do. H and aapne jo bola maine kar diya. If I had not done it, some body else would have done it no? Rather I should be thankful to you for giving me this opportunity. I have seriously learnt a lot from you. You know ever since my first ever project with you two years back (when I had no idea about anything), you suggested me so many things such as making excel file for sources, attaching PPT file in the mail, making mail folders in your inbox, I still remember all of that and even in this project I have learnt a lot..seriously a lot. I will just say Thank you so much for everything and apologies for anything. I am a very reserved person, but you know I had written about our meeting in my diary sometime back and I will like to share it with you and again say 'Thank you' as I sad that being praised for the only thing you have is a bit emotionally overwhelming.

And then also sent him the post where I had written about my conversation with him. (This link)

And you know this is what he replied:

Pankaj, I will keep my reply short and simple (we have already exchanged the pleasantries a lot of times :) :) :) 

First, I did nothing to get you that award, it was just your hard work. And don't worry about the part that you did what we asked you to do - it is equally important to execute the ideas than just come up with it. You did a good job there :) - and now I am saying no more about the project!! :)

Second, it is a pleasure to know that you think of so highly of me. I did some of it (I will be modest :P) but not so much :P. Appreciate your kind words.

Third, I felt really touched upon reading your mail. You make me believe that I can be a good mentor too (never looked at that way here though outside I have been doing this long) - good to know. Thanks a ton.

Last, go get your dreams. No one expects you to be a Warren Buffet or a George Soros - just live a typical life. Peace is more important than money. Go give your best shot to this opportunity.

A :)

You know the sweetest part of the mail? In the end,  he wrote Cheers A!!! As you know I never write names of people here, but only the initial letter. So in the mail I had written 'Of Conversation with A', instead of his name, he also replied me by saying Cheers A (and not his full name). I liked it :) More than the reward, what matters are these small things..haina?

Now office tomorrow..please deliverable chale jaye theek thak :( Will write more later about many many other things...

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Of The Complete Man...

I love this is brilliant! I have always loved Raymond's advertisements. Something very classy and subtly emotional about them just like men are..that is why it is called Raymond - The Complete Man.. I wish my mom is someday proud of me.. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Of Missing :|

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

I read this awesome quote today. Me misses you a lot but it's okay...Life me har cheez nahi milti na :( 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Of Life's Unpredictability..

The past few weeks have been so so tragic ya.. These events confirm yet again that life is so unpredictable..

The obnoxious killing of Umeshkant Pandey, a toll collector at Gurgaon plaza, for a mere Rs. 27! I mean how insensitive and impulsive can people be that they can kill anybody like this! Brutal and gruesome! Whenever I pass through the DND flyover in the night, I always look at those people collecting toll and used to say to myself that it is one of the most boring jobs ever..sitting all day and collecting money. But not everybody is lucky as some of us to get a decent education...these people have come from far and for them this source of income is  the perhaps the only thing they have! Umeshkant's story is so so tragic ya..He comes from a remote village in Madhya Pradesh..He has three married sisters, a mentally challenged brother, a crippled brother, old dependent parents, and a dependent wife! He used to send some money back to make ends meet..What will they do now? I feel so sad ya..

Send checks to Ramrati Pandey Account Number: 30496591243 State Bank of India Birha, Bijhauli, Hanumana, Rewa, Madhya Pradesh Pin: 486335

And then there was the earthquake in many people suffered..And the way we treat North-East as some other country, no body was even bothered! May their souls rest in peace..

There is no greater loss than losing your loved one and there is no greater tragedy than losing your home in front of your eyes..

Azaruddin lost his son to a bike accident..Imagine losing your 18 year old son..CNN IBN's Gaurav Kalra wrote this poignant piece that brought a lump to my throat.. He says,

"I have often wondered why I wept at the birth of my child. Tears are usually logical. When my favourite uncle passed, his body ravaged by a vicious cancer, I wept in regret and pain. When my sister said goodbye on getting married I wept in trepidation, in fear of the new life that awaited her. But why was I weeping now? Why did this miniscule lump of meat have such an impact? A stranger who didn't as much as wonder who I was. A little human being I hadn't ever met, never shared a bond with, never as much as set eyes on before. Why was I weeping?.

For want of a better analogy, a child is next in line to take over the baton in a relay race. Its arrival is the surest sign of your life moving forward. Not as a grandiose keeper of your legacy but quite simply as an extension of your being. A relay always moves forward. If the sprinter meant to carry the baton forward stumbles the race is over. The team is rudderless. The first runner can't run again for the fourth. There is smoothness to the process. A protocol, if you will."

Life is really unpredictable ya..Thank God for everything..every breath is a we should celebrate birthdays everyday..It is easy to say this but try to live it up..