Of Conversation with A...

Aah..philosophical discussions!! This past week I again had this general talk about life in general with A ;-) I have been having a lot of such talks with people lately. So I had this meeting with A regarding some work. So, while sitting in the meeting room, I randomly told him that I am going on a three week leave to sort out things for the future..about what I want to do ahead..blah blah. And then he tells me if I am studying for MBA? Then I told him that I feel that I am not cut out for doing an MBA. It is like you have to make your life hell after doing an MBA..agreed, you will be paid in millions but is it worth sacrificing your entire life for it? What will you do with the money if you cannot spend that money and are perennially stressed out? Will you have the time to do the things you like? No!! And then I told him, that I am not very sharp also. Eventually after MBA, you will land up in something like finance, consulting or marketing. You need to think out of the box if you want to survive such hardcore professions! And am not such a sharp or intelligent person. What ever I have achieved, I have done through my hard work..I am not born intelligent as some people are. And I am not a leader at all. I think leadership is over hyped. If all want to be leaders, won't it lead to anarchy? I am a follower..I'd rather be a follower than a fake leader!

I want happiness and contentment in life..yes, I want money..but enough money that I am able to live a decent life..And then I told A, that I feel being ambitious and contented are two sides of the same coin. You cannot have both. And I'd prefer to be contented than being the former. Being ambitious will force me to change myself to what I am not..and I am not ready for that at least now! 

After this monologue of mine, A tells me his version of story. He told me that he hasn't seen a more clear cut person than me because he himself doesn't know what he wants in life. He said that he also totally agrees that ambition and contentment are not compatible with each other. And he doesn't know what he will choose in life. And then he told me how he is also not at all intelligent person but it is through his hard work that he has reached where he has! He was like that people are either born sharp or not but you cannot increase or decrease your sharpness but one can increase the amount of hard work one does. He was like, he even being an IT engineer he could never write the code though he could develop some logic but he slogged all through to achieve what he has. There were two of his close friends who helped him, and he is indebted to them. 

Actually, the context of our discussion was the feedback that he gave me for the project! He had written a lot, I mean seriously a lot!!! but one aspect he showed praise was the hard work and commitment. That is why I told him that I am not an intelligent person, I cannot write analytically rich sentences, I cannot make jazzy out of the box frameworks. And then he is like there is no need for all this, you just need to be some what more hardworking. He told me that I take time to open up to people and I have to reduce this time from two months to two days. He was like, I walk with a stoop, I should walk straight like a man with confidence. He told me that I never look into the eyes of the person I am speaking and then he made do that, he must have said 'look into my eyes' at least 10 times! :-) There is no need to be afraid of things. He was like the other person is equally scared to look into your eyes, so don't give him the advantage. And then he was like he was also an introvert shy person. He just used to speak to his girl friend and two of his friends in college. But then he realized this wasn't taking him far. His friend who was a brilliant public speaker then gave him a tip that always look into the eyes of the person, this will remove all your fears! You will stammer once, you will forget words..once, twice, thrice, but kabhi na kabhi ho jayega theek!

And then he also narrated a story of his friend. he was like that his friend was going to the US, and at the airport he got a bit emotional that he has to leave his family and all..and then his friend's Mama gave him the advice, "Bhenchod, dariyo mat." And then A said he still follows that advice and I too have to take out the fear in me. He said if people start pitying you, then you are gone. People should not pity you nor you should do self pity.

There were so many things we just kept on discussing. I have always felt that A is a very nice person, if one takes out certain things out of him but no one is perfect haina? I have seriously learnt a lot from him. And then I said 'Thank you for the last six months' :) Ab feedback ke bare me main zyada nahi bolunga :{

And then I came and told this thing to H, he is like, "You know you are a very nice person." I was a bit stumped and then I was like "isme maine kya." No further comments were made ;-)