Saturday, March 31, 2012


A long, long time ago, I started out as a thought in the head of the Universe. When we were sent on our way, it was with the understanding that if we did good, it'd be returned to us. And if we did what was not appropriate..well...The point is, if we perform the right actions, do our dharma now, we may receive its dues in this life. may be carried forward, bestowed on us in another life. Death isn't the end. Each life, well, think of it as bead after bead on some divine unfathomable necklace. 

But don't you believe in heaven? There be no Heaven and no Hell that I haven't lived through already and so I see now it is all here, the compassion we hope to receive and the cruelty we beg to escape. Right here. In my palms and on your soles. Over this room and beneath your bed. In some fundamental way, we all are in total control of destiny. Because destiny is what we build each day with our correct action. With our work, our dharma, with the actions that are in complete abeyance to the Law of our Being. That's precisely what makes it so crucial that you should never see you life in terms of one singular existence, but try and imagine as if it were like water. See that rain? Well, our life is like the water that tumbles out of the sky and into the stream. And then some day, the stream arches in to the river. Running with a mad fever, this river heads for the ocean. Where it rests and plays. But before you know it, that same bead of water will rise up from the ocean's chest and soar into the great old sky to become the cloud it came from...and so on, life starts over and over again. Thunder unfrees the drop, lightning announces its return and the earth sighs at its inception..oh, the old sky we all are here, and always the ocean will be.

Even love comes with own season...and relationships with their own kismet. They start through us and then love loves through us. And when the give-and-take between the two individuals is over, the relationship fades. Like a fruit that must fall from the bough if it to carry its life in the next avatar. There is nothing more critical than to exercise the generosity to let something end with the grace that it started with. By your dying, you love doesn't vanish..Oh no no..never! It survives. Quietly. Under the skin of things.

The memory of happiness is as heart breaking at its absence. All the things we carry inside us are precisely the things we're just bursting to tell.

- Anuradha Gandharva, The Last Song of Dusk

Why did Van Gogh paint a starry night? Because the sky is beautiful and everybody likes looking at it. And it reminds us that there is something up there watching all of us.
- Luke, Modern Family

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Of Charlotte (Chandra) in Pride (Bride) and Prejudice, Sanjog, and Black..

Hmm. Long time no see.

Last week the whole world was going crazy about Virat Kohli. I don't know there was this whole peculiar twang that I was hearing in my head. I couldn't figure out who it was. Then after much deliberation, I realized it was Nadira Babbar's 'Mr. Kohli'. Nadira Babbar in Bride and Prejudice. Yes, the same Mr. Kohli for whom they sang that song 'No Life Without Wife'.
So, this week I have been thinking about Pride and Prejudice and as always the cosmic connection theory works this time as well. Pride and Prejudice. I am a big fan of English Classics. I love the language in them..the air of everything so formal..the high frequency of the word 'countenance'. I had read all of Jane Austen's classics in Class 10 - Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Northanger Abbey, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park. I have forgotten the exact details of all of them. I should read them again. I will appreciate the language even more as I think I have developed into a better reader over the years. Earlier, I used to just read..slowly, as one picks up the habit, one tends to connect with the characters even more. I will try but I still remember Pride and Prejudice and it remains my all-time favorite. So, this whole Kohli thing reminded me of a much-hated character in Pride and Prejudice...Charlotte Lucas..or if you have seen Bride and Prejudice, I am talking about Chandra (played by Sonali Kulkarni), Lalita's friend.
Mr.Collins (Mr. Kohli) had proposed to Elizabeth Bennett (Lalita), but she refused the proposal because she didn't love him at all. After all, he was a conceited, pompous, and bombastic man whom no woman would ever like. However, days later, after Elizabeth had rejected Mr.Collins, Charlotte (or Chandra) marries the obnoxious Mr.Collins (Mr.Kohli). Lizzie was shocked to see that her sensible friend had made such a disastrous choice, as Lizzie always believed in the concept of love in a marriage and she could not understand how could Charlotte love Mr.Collins! Charlotte was not very pretty, was twenty-seven years of age and her family had limited income. In those days, women were not allowed to inherit property. And to be 27 and still unmarried was very very unusual. So, did she do any wrong if she chose to marry Mr.Collins, who was perhaps her last chance to live a decent life? No..she chose to be pragmatic. She knew she can't find love now. Charlotte thinks that marriage changes people drastically, so it hardly matters whether couples marry after knowing each other for a day or a year. Charlotte says, "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance". Isn't it so true? You never know, how things turn out later in a marriage..the person you thought you knew might not be as you expected. It's a big risk anyway. Lizzie said, only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony, and she slowly falls in love with Mr. Darcy although she hated him after their first meeting! So, what wrong did Charlotte do if she chose a stable future over love..everybody has their own choices and limitations and has to take decisions accordingly? Elizabeth seems to blame Charlotte for wanting a comfortable home and a family. But Charlotte was not dumb! She was very very sensible, insightful, and prescient. In fact, she was the first one who told Lizzie that Jane's introverted nature may force Mr.Bingley to think that she doesn't like him. And this is what happened. Charlotte was a realist and Lizzie was an idealist..maybe she might slowly learn to love Mr. Collins. Why being judgemental about her choices. As it is said, There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they are the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone.

Here is something rightly said about Charlotte

Charlotte also gets in that famous line, "happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance…It is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life". Elizabeth laughs at her, and says, "you would never act in this way yourself." As we know, though, that's exactly what Charlotte does. After Elizabeth rejects Mr. Collins, Charlotte accepts him, even knowing that she's only his second choice (third, actually, since Mr. Collins initially had his eye on Jane). How did Charlotte manage to get a marriage proposal out of Mr. Collins the day after he'd been rejected by Elizabeth? We don't really know, because Austen doesn't narrate the proposal scene. Does Charlotte recognize that his business in town is wife-hunting, and deliberately flirting in the way that she suggested that Jane should do with Bingley? Maybe.

That's not all! We have even a third idea about what Charlotte's point in the novel is – she is another lesson in empathy for Elizabeth. Check out how horrified Elizabeth first is when Charlotte tells her she's going to marry Mr. Collins. Seriously, she almost throws up a little in her mouth. Then, after she goes to visit the Collinses, Elizabeth slowly realizes that not everyone has to live life the way she would want to, and kind of gets a better sense of her friend.

And this is my favorite quote from Pride and Prejudice
“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.”

And talking about marriage, our cab driver this week told his sad story this week. He said he was married in 1996 but the lady loved someone else and left him. He then said that what was his fault? The marriage didn't work out. Had he known before, he wouldn't have married in the first place but then things are not in our control. And later he fell in love with another woman..and again, this time he was betrayed as the woman was already married and had two kids. So, he has seen failure in both love and marriage..Such sad stories.and he said the same thing as Charlotte said, shaadi karne ke baad, kya ho kise pata...mujhe bhi thori pata tha aisa kuch hoga...

And I just hate..literally hate arranged marriage meetings :( For the last 3-4 Sundays, I have to go to see prospective grooms for my sister and I don't like it. I can empathize with what she actually goes through...Saath me mera interview bhi ho jata hai :( :( Ab bhai, how is my salary going to impact your life. I am not giving you any of my hard-earned salaries..huh. I will spend it on myself.

There was this song that was playing on the radio on one of the last few days...Yashoda Ka Nand Lala from the movie Sanjog. Aah. Sanjog. I love that movie. This movie always makes me nostalgic. I had first seen it at a time when I actually used to watch movies on TV. Zee Cinema, Home TV, ATM..the few channels that played movies. Meri Jung, Karz, and Karma used to come every third day and after school, I used to watch these movies religiously. And these days I hardly watch TV :{ I have seen Sanjog so many times and I still love it. There is this hilarious track in the movie in which Aruna Irani keeps winking her one eye and Asrani thinks that she is trying to hit on him..haha..later he realizes that she has a congenital effect :P And when they have kids, they also have this is so so funny.

As usual, I digress.Sanjog is a beautiful movie. Yashoda (Jaya Prada) and Naren (Jeetendra) get married. Naren's elder brother and sister-in-law have a kid named Raju. Raju's mother is least interested in taking care of him. Yashoda takes the charge of Raju and gives him all the love and affection. However, one day Raju dies in an accident during a procession. Unable to bear the loss of Raju's death, Yashoda gets depressed and her mental health deteriorates. However, she also delivers a daughter named Asha. So this time, Naren's elder brother and sister-in-law take care of her upbringing. Yashoda is sent to a mental asylum and Naren turns into an alcoholic. Years later, Asha is well settled and grows up. She has her own kid, who strikingly resembles Raju. She finds the truth about her mother and visits her in the asylum. Seeing her pitiable state where her mother is carrying a log of wood dressed as a baby, Asha is heartbroken and depressed. As a mark of her respect and as a way to help her, Asha then leaves her son to her mother and makes the ultimate sacrifice. It is a really nice movie with decent performances. Worth a watch!!

Birthday wishes to Rani, one of my all-time favorite actresses. Just watch this stunning video...Brilliant!

Dialogue of the Day:
"Kai koshishon ke baad, aakhir makdi ne baar baar girne ke bavjood apna ghar bana hi liya, cheenti pahaad par chadi, ek khhachue ne registan par kar liya..aur aaj Micheele ek graduate ho gayi." - Black

"Black ka matlab sirf ghutan ya andera nahi is the color of achievement, the color of knowledge..the color of the graduation robe." - Black

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Of Disliking RHTDM, Disagreeing with 3 Idiots, and Loving Modern Family

You know what takes real strength? Showing affection.

The last week I again watched Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein. For some people, it is a cult movie (cult movie definition: a movie that flopped but some will still fight for it). I have never had a fascination with that movie. In fact, I did not like the film at all. The movie is a perfect example of terrible acting. Madhavan and his gang of friends consistently ham and deliver horrible performances. Of course, it was Madhavan's first hindi film, so expectedly, in a first film, an actor tries very hard to be natural but doesn't always work. But as usual I digress. I did not like the film because of bad acting! I have no problems with bad acting per se (after all I loved Sonam in I Hate Luv Storys). Dia Mirza and Saif weren't that bad. I had a problem with its concept. Consider the plot. Maddy falls in love (at first sight) with Reena. Later he finds out that Reena is supposed to meet Rajiv, her childhood friend to whom her parents are considering getting her married. Rajiv is planning to come to town to meet Reena but for some reason doesn't come. Maddy, who is actually spying and stalking Reena, gets to know of Rajeev's plans and impersonates him and meets Reena. He spends five days with her in the city, during which Reena eventually falls in love with Maddy, thinking of him as Rajiv. Of course, the real Rajiv turns up and Reena is shocked and heart broken by Maddy's lies. Rajiv and Maddy, infact, turn out to be old college rivals with a history of confrontation between them. Reena tries to forget Maddy by agreeing to marry Rajiv. Rajiv, just like Aman in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, senses the unhappiness in Reena and asks her whom she really loves. Sensing that Reena is still madly in love with Maddy, he lets go of her. 
My problem is with Maddy's character. What he did was so so wrong!! You are spying on a girl, literally stalking her, and have the guts to impersonate as her friend and spend time with her. And when the girl finds out, you threaten her by going to her office to tell her to fall in love with you! I mean think of it in real life..if you were an single woman living in a city like Delhi, and what if a guy does to you like this!! He could actually be jailed. And look at the guts of Maddy, he and his cohorts go and threaten Rajiv with dire consequences if he marries Reena. I mean, what is Rajiv's fault?!?! That he is Rajiv! Get a life you morons! 

Shruti, Reena's friend, tries to justify Maddy's act by saying to Reena, चाहे ही उसका रास्ता गलत हो, पर वो इंसान गलत नहीं है.. Reena counteracts that जब इंसान ही गलत हो, तोह फिर क्या सही और क्या गलत. उसने मेरे विशवास को तोडा है. He hurt me. 

The fact is Maddy started his relationship with Reena on lies, howsoever madly in love with her he may be. Yes, he even ate chicken by going against his religion just to show his love!!. Still, he was wrong. And instead of being apologetic, he is trying to get her through vengeance. He was a loser. Rajiv was actually the hero but they treated him as a villain. He let go of was he understood that Reena will never be happy be with him..he let go of what could have been a perfect life if Maddy had not come into the picture..but alas! as they say, the winner is the one who gets the girl in the end. So so unfair. I hate Maddy :X Talking about stalking, I think Hindi films actually have scant respect for women's rights. Here the hero follows the girl until she says yes to him and this is so normal, that should we surprised that these roadside romeos stalking outside girls' colleges think themselves as 'heroes' and misbehave with them. But it is too naive to blame films for such things! Nevertheless, I loved the music of RHTDM. Zara Zara is so beautifully shot..and awesome lyrics..Dil Ko Tum Se Pyaar Hua :) 

Kho Gaya Main Khayalon Me
Ab Neend Nahin Aankhon Me
Karvate Bas Badalta Hoon
Ab Jaagta Hoon Main Raaton Me
Ab Doori Na Sehni Har Lamha Kehta Hai
Na Jaane Haal Mera Aisa Kyon Rehta Hai

The last week, A sent me an email that I should read this and give my opinion on this.

Rawls argues that even meritocracy-a distributive system that rewards effort-doesn’t go far enough in leveling the playing field because those who are naturally gifted will always get ahead. Furthermore, says Rawls, the naturally gifted can’t claim much credit because their success often depends on factors as arbitrary as birth order. 

I totally agree with this. I was immediately reminded of 3 Idiots. I hated that movie. Yes, I hated that movie. For some people, it is the best piece of cinema, a classic, masterpiece. I respect that opinion. It is subjective. I cannot watch that movie again. The film was preachy and morally sanctimonious as Aamir's films typically are. As Sagarika Ghose, brilliantly puts it "The system is always wrong in Aamir's film." I think that guy is a credit hogger, who steals people's ideas and claims them as his own. He is a LOSER.

Anyway, more on why I dislike Aamir Khan later. As I was saying about 3 Idiots, I think for me, the true winner in the movie was Chatur. As Rawls states that if you take into account only merit, then naturally gifted people have a distinct advantage over others who work only on hard work. Chatur was not born intelligent, but it was through his sheer handwork that he reached the top. Rancho, on the other hand, was a naturally gifted chap. He didn't study at all..used to be thrown out of classes but still managed to top the charts. So, how can you compare Rancho with Chatur? The film tries to portray that only naturally gifted people should pursue science. But what about others? A person who is not so intelligent, can't he do hard work to reach the top? I mean look at Chatur, that guy had the confidence and the panache to read a speech in a language, that he has never spoken, in front of the entire auditorium!! Importantly, agreed that Farhan (Madhavan), wanted to be a wildlife photographer, but the film did not portray what Raju (Sherman Joshi) wanted to be in life. He did not have an option because he was poor. He had to study engineering although he was not naturally gifted, he used to fail, but why did the movie not try to tell Raju to leave engineering? All these things that people say to leave your job and do something can only be done if you are rich! And people say to you to follow your heart. But I am sure not even half the people really know what they want to do in life. But for me, Chatur was actually the winner instead of Rancho! And if I simply hate this song, "Saari umar hum..mar mar ke ji liye, ek pal to ab humein jeene do jeene do". Who has stopped you from living your life? There will be thousands of poeple who will be glad to study in colleges you are studying! Anyway enough of my ranting against 3 Idiots. I still have one of the articles that exactly shared my view point. Here are some excerpts from it.

I almost rose up on my seat to acknowledge the bravery of the scriptwriters when Virus starts explaining the income levels. I was thinking, ok now it gets interesting because that’s exactly the point. To have the kind of confidence and devil may care attitude that Ryan, sorry Rancho is supposed to have, you have to be a rich brat in real life, who doesn’t have to worry about finding a job as soon as you get out. I had many such students in my own class, who could afford to question the system, some of them very bright and original thinkers like Rancho. But then the film killed the point again and again in the film.

First they killed it, when Rancho started topping the class again and again. He then became a superhero at that moment, not a normal human being anymore. The fact is, no matter, how brilliant a mind you got, how original thinker you are, you still had to slog to get grades. Granted, you could still top a subject or two. There were some subjects such as Machine Drawing that you either get or you don’t, no matter what your IQ level is. But topping every subject, without any effort, while you are having fun drinking alcohol on the rooftop? I am sorry but that just doesn’t happen. No, I am not saying that you have to be Chatur to top the class. The reality is, the people who top the class are all very smart students, way different from Chatur, but they also have to slog harder than everyone else. I can say that, because I was a good student and slogged my ass off, still couldn’t top the class. Those who did, slogged harder than me and were brighter than me. It was never only one thing; you had to have both- IQ and the ability to work hard. If the message was, you should not follow grades, but gain and apply knowledge, and develop a broader set of skills that are needed in the real world, then it got killed by showing Rancho getting the best of the grades, all the time.

My other issue with the plot was about following your heart. It’s easier said than done. Have you ever wondered what you knew and how aware of yourself you were at the age when you entered college? Did you have any clue what you wanted to do or what you liked to do at that age? I certainly didn’t and know that 95% of my class didn’t either. We probably had some idea about what would be cool but was that something we would love doing, we had no clue. In fact, there are very few people who are lucky enough to know what they want to do in life and even fewer who figure that out so early in their lives. To me, they are clearly Gods’ children. Even in the field of Sports or Show business which are full of stories of people who just followed their dreams, there are very few people like Sachin Tendulkar who knew at an early age what they wanted to do in life. Remember that dialog in the film Iqbal, where Naseer explains to the parents of Shreyas’s character, what a special thing it is to know what you want to do in life. That’s so true. I am in my late thirties and I still don’t know what makes me happy and what would have been an ideal thing or profession for me.

Read the complete article here. I agree with each and every point the author makes.

The quote in the beginning:
You know what takes real strength? Showing affection.

This awesome quote is from Modern Family. I just watched an amazing episode of it and still thinking about. Season 2 Episode 2. Here is some context for it. Cam and Mitchell are two gay guys living together. Mitchell is very uncomfortable to show his love for Cam in public, so he avoids all PDA but Cam does not like this. He wants to feel loved and says that to Mitchell. Mitchell responds saying he's the one who stands up for the relationship, making speeches on airplanes or talking to his dad when he calls Cam a "friend." "That's different-that's confrontation," Cam says. "You know what takes real strength? Affection."

Awesome? ain't it. It takes real guts to show your affection in public. As @Notebook tweeted yesterday, A lot of guys are nice to girls when it's just them, but it takes a man to be nice to a girl when around all his friends. 

And continuing about Modern Family, that episode was so awesome..I love Gloria. She said that sometimes, people need something else-kisses, hugs! As I wrote in this post about Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu, everyone needs a hug ya..who doesn't? Haina?

She says: 
In Colombia, we kiss for everything, because a kiss can mean so many different things. It can be the start of something new, it can be how we say 'this is the person that I love', it can be romantic, it can also be worth waiting for.

And then Jay kissed his son for the first time since he was 12. Cam and Mitchell kissed. And Alex decided to wait to kiss her boyfriend for a perfect moment. It was handled so gracefully without any cheesy moments. No wonder, Modern Family has grabbed so many Emmys.

That's a father kissing the son BTW :)

I just watched Honey Moon Travels Pvt Ltd again. I love that movie :) I also want to do that salsa dance  that Abhay and Minissha do in pyaar ki kahani suno :(

Dialogue of the Day:
"Baal kaale nahi rahe to kya hua, dil abhi bhi kaala hai."- Nahid, Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Voice...

You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisors. But in the end, the decision is always yours and yours alone. And when it's time to act and you're all alone with your back against the wall, the only voice that matters is the one in your head. The one telling you what you already knew. The one that's almost always right.
 - Meredith Grey

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Of Tryst with Media...

Long time no see...

As last week, I had written about how much I loved the story by Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi. I had commented on their website that it was indeed a sort of coming to age when you learn to come to terms with loss. Voila! They printed it on the print edition this week. I know it is no big deal, 99% of the people don't even bother to read the comments page. It is a very stupid thing, nothing to brag about but still it made me happy :) Is bahane paper me naam to aya :) I like to do such silly things, brings me closer to the hidden journalist in me. And you won't believe..the next day, there was an earthquake in Delhi. I randomly posted a comment on NDTV's forum about it. I keep doing that on many other issues. And lo and behold! The comment was posted in their article! I mean two times in two days. I know again, it's no big deal but at least it made me feel as if I am famous, howsoever fickle it may be. My cousin called me from his office that is it you who wrote! Three people in office came and asked me whether I wrote it. So funny it is. Even someone who stays in Singapore wrote on my FB wall, whether it was I who is mentioned in the article. Hehe! So this post, I am dedicating to my tryst, howsoever shallow and wannabe types it may be, with media. 

The comment in HT that was printed.

This is screen grab of the NDTV thing. Original link:

This is when I won the NDTV Picture This weekly film contest. They gave the DVD of the movie 'A Single Man'.

And about two years ago, I met this fellow - Rajdeep Sardesai. I used to idolise him then, but not any more. His views on Twitter are so morally sanctimonious and pretentious and self congratulatory, that I totally agree with Kanchan Gupta who calls him St.Pontificate! Nevertheless, I have a picture with Rajdeep Sardesai!!

And with Suhasini Haidar, one of the best foreign policy journalists :)

And about 3-4 years back, there was this column in HT by Sushmita Bose, Single In The City. It was one of my favorite columns back then. Supercool it was..even in Wake Up Sid, the column that Konkona writes, New Girl In the City, was said to be inspired from it. When Sushmita left HT and moved to Dubai to work with the Khaleej Times, I sent her an email on her last column. And continuing with my above luck, it was printed too :)

Original link:

And this was the mail that Sushmita replied back :P

Dear Pankaj
thanks a ton for ur mail. sorry for the belated response -- but i was chilling in Lansdowne!! i felt very bad abt having to write my last column, but as they say, all good things come to an end! anyhow, hopefully i'll start blogging soon, and will keep u posted on that front. am probably leaving the country for a while (not to get married!), but will let u know exact details when everything's finalised. meanwhile, be in touch. 
best wishes

Dialogue of the day
"Jab insaan hi galat ho, toh phir kya sahi aur kya galat. Usne mere vishvaas ko toda hai. He hurt me."  - Rina, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Me

Saturday, March 3, 2012

एक बात कहूँ...कुछ नहीं...

Hmm..Long time no see..

I am in absolute awe of Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi! I have been reading this book by him The Last Song of Dusk and last Sunday, HT Brunch carried the cover story on Shanghvi! What a big co-incidence, considering he ain't that famous as compared to other authors. Shanghvi wrote an essay on his stay in Matheran, where he chose to live alone, away from the hullabaloo of Mumbai. He writes about his way to deal with loss and failure..Oh! What a superb essay it is..candid, honest, moving, troubling..add other adjectives but the sheer pleasure of reading it gave me so much satisfaction. I have read something so beautiful after a really really long time.. Below are some of my favourite lines fom the essay..

Events need their invitation, writes James Salter in Light Years, dissolutions their start.

There are three chief reasons I decided to leave Bombay: the failure of aesthetic, the failure of conversation, the failure of love. 

Mostly, though, I decided to leave Bombay after something like a friendship, by which I mean a kind of indefinable love, failed. This was an equal, an ally of solitude, lonesome and shy, a familiar of novels, someone who sat hunched in cafés writing, strolled through small towns and their ancient temples, forever transformed by beauty witnessed and sensed as inextirpable truth. 

I became a student of literature, which is to say, a student of solitude. The fear of a lion alone was calmed by imagined lives and their choices, anxieties, failures, reprises. I felt literature had come into existence not to perform for critics but to lay bare the disquiet of fate, to parent us across the waves; it was the art of experience, collected and communed, before it was ever literary endeavor. 

Time, like a harmonium, stretched out, releasing note and melody. 

The hills made me see more with my eyes closed. 

I had come to Matheran chiefly to think about the nature of loss. People, over the years, had repeated to me trite truisms: Time heals all. You’ll get over it. All you need is closure. So I waited, I wrote, I photographed, I travelled, I took long walks. I watched obscure Iranian cinema, I cared for men around me who were dying, I sat on a bench on the seashore. In this way, time passed. But, after a few years of being unable to give up the ghost, it occurred to me I’d have to learn to live with the loss of my friend; it was to be permanent, unyielding, like a battle scar or birthmark. The idea that there was any closure, or healing, seemed repugnant, too easy to be true. What truth, after all, might be closed as easily as if it were only a door? 

Early in life we come to see it either as a tragedy or a comedy; great literature is a result of these choices. Speaking for myself, I veered to the tragic mode: there was consolation in the essential impermanence of things, a relief in knowing it would all come to end. The tragedy was not the end but a knowledge of the end foreshadowing all things. However, my brief time in Matheran makes me believe that life might not be as tragic as I had originally believed, but comic – possibly even a total and complete farce.

The complete essay is here..

Siddharth has written two novels and said he doesn't plan to write more novels. I wish he would write more. As he says, he is driven to the tragic mode, his book, The Last Song of Dusk, similarly has an underlying tone of extreme melancholy and pathos. Somehow, I am also driven to the tragic mode. There is something that pushes me towards utter grimness. Not surprisingly, my blog was earlier called Inheritance of Loss (before I changed it to Dichotomy of Irony). yesterday, a funny thing happened..I send a quote of the day to my friends from my old office everyday and also to M and J in some people got to know that I send a quote to M and J only and why not to them..everyone literally pounded at me that why I don't send them the quote of the day :{ Ok, I told them I will send it to all of them. The world is a really small place. Wherever, you go you find some connections. M is very good friends with some of my batch mates from school and knows them really well. The entire team calls me Pankazzz, all because of her. So, yesterday, M was telling me the same thing which everyone else says..stop deprecating yourself. She threatened me that she will send a mail to the entire team to conduct a poll in the team whether Pankaj is the most adorable person in the team. I was so embarrassed that I had to literally beg her to not to do it :( I always think that people think of me as bhola-bhala, which means dumb, but I am not dumb :( I understand everything, I just don't say it.

Anyway, too much digression..and I have to thank D. Last week, he put this as his FB status.

This came as such a big surprise. I was actually embarrassed and also felt good at the same time. Thanks so much ya :) So I have told him to start his own blog and write something of his own as well. on Sahara One, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was coming...and the eternal love for that movie made me stop everything I was doing and watch it all over again. Just watch this scene again ya :( What a scene..

I have so many things to write but I will write later...very busy the next much work to do :(

Dialogue of the day:
कभी कभी इंसान कुछ न कह कर भी सब कुछ कह देता है - नंदिनी, हम दिल दे चुके सनम