Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Of Callie's and Arizona's Wedding :)

Callie and Arizona got married...yes, two females got married..I loved their wedding..so happy both of them were..I am so happy for them..Grey's is simply awesome. I have learnt a lot of medical stuff through the show..and the procedures they show are actually what happens in reality..the most brilliant thing about the show is that it portrays doctors as vulnerable and prone to make mistakes like we normal people..it doesn't create demi-gods out of them..I never had a fascination with doctors but whenever I see this show I want to be like them..so cool these people are..the show was also awarded by the LGBT community for showing these people in a positive sense rather than as sex crazy maniacs.. I think we should all slap Madhur Bhandarkar for showing homosexuals in such a negative light. Dostana was another cliched one..Hindi films have just one connotation of a gay - an effiminate man..it is actually offensive. I think the only sensible film to come out of Hindi cinema about the issue is My Brother Nikhil..a brilliant story of a budding homosexual (and not effiminate) swimmer who somehow gets AIDS..truly a masterpiece by Onir..
And another instance of cosmic connection - I have been thinking to put these images of their wedding and the day I watch this episode I read the editorial in HT talking about same sex marriages!! What a co-incidence! and yesterday New York legalised same sex unions!! It is something that I think will never be possible in India..Will write more about this..

And Bailey said while performing the marriage that she is witnessing some magic magic..it truly was..how happy Callie and Arizone were..I love both of them..such great doctors..and my current favourites are Teddy and Henry..hope they fall in love although they are married.. still miss George though..but have started to like April a lot..just look at the pictures..so touching :(

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Of Camera and You :(

Ok..first things first..I have finally purchased a SLR - Nikon D5100 :) yeyeye..my only big-item purchase in the last 2-3 years..so happy..super clear pictures..now I hope to learn some photography as well..I have always believed that a good photographer is the one who has the ability to tell stories through his pictures..anyone can be a photographer but only a good photographer has the ability to bring out fascinating stories through his pictures..just as writers use their pen to tell stories, a photographer tells the same through clicks..I just cannot click pose-for-camera pics..I can only click natural poses (as I have already said that this word is an oxymoron)..and I am more of a micro person..I like to click photographs of micro details bringing out the finer nuances..I don't like to click larger than life views or macro pictures..like the mountains..(only due to personal choice)..and whoa! today only monsoon arrived in Delhi..how can I not click pics then :) and I have a fascination with drops..all the pictures that I clicked today have a drop. and I love clicking nature..flowers, gardens, leaves, rain, water..these give me some peace..maybe I should become a nature photographer..I now hope to learn clicking portraits.. let us see how things turn out..

Hmm..ok..I have been writing some real real personal stuff lately..unless it harms the privacy of the other, I am comfortable sharing my personal life here..I can lie to thousand people but I can never lie to my blog..my diary..my life..so I am writing some more personal stuff.. You know about one year back I had written two posts - Of Lovers Not Made for Each Other (May 2010) and Of Lovers Made for Each Other (August 2010). People had asked me whether is it for real? I had lied that time that I just imagined someone and wrote. But to tell the truth I was so madly in awe of somebody..Should I use the word Love..I don't know..I still not know whether it is love.. I had completely told what I felt about you in these two posts but you know there was no future between you and me..It was sheer blasphemy to even think about it. I knew you loved someone else and I have not seen both of you together but I am sure you both look amazing..after all with whosoever you are, you anyways look good :-) I have cried nights thinking about you but you know the worse thing I cannot even tell you how I feel about you. It took me so much time to get over you and now look at the turn of events you again come back in my life. Now what do I do? I cannot avoid you and cannot even think of blocking you on FB..how will I get over you once again?

You know I was having this random discussion with neighbor-cum-friend S in office and I just asked her "How do you get over somebody?" She told me that you cannot stop loving anyone till the time you find someone else..and then I told her what if the other person is going around with someone else and you are not their first choice? Then she told that this is the most painful thing but you should just simply avoid thinking about the person by getting immersed on other things and get over with it somehow.. and then I kept thinking what if I don't want to get over? And then H tells me, it is all infatuation :( and that I should tell you and get over with it..but is it that easy to get over someone or is it ever possible to get over someone? I don't know..of course, I haven't told (S and H) them that I am going through such a crisis..

I am just feeling like Joey when he really really liked Rachel but it was killing him from inside when he could not tell her what he felt..and you know why I love Deepa so so much..because I am exactly in her position. I know how she would have felt..People say to me you are such a good person, everybody will want to be with you..and then I just think to myself just as she said to Sid, if I am so good, then why can't I get you..what is my fault :'( And you know why I love Sonam in I Hate Luv Storys..because I can totally identify with her..when she says to Jai..magar mere saath aisa hua hai..

It is just so difficult to realise that you are not meant for somebody..it is such a painful feeling ya to come to terms with it..and as my cosmic connection theory says that whatever you are thinking you see that everywhere :( On Colors, Balika Vadhu comes no..I just saw an episode on Friday, in that also Anandi is finding it very hard to accept her husband's second wife but she still says that she will not curse her as the new wife is connected to her husband.. and then I watched this episode of Grey's Anatomy..Lexie and Mark are still  not over each other.and they miss each other terribly :(

I have been listening to the song Bin Tere from I Hate Luv Storys (the best break up song ever) and O Re Piya from Aaja Nachle continuously for the last week or so :( Ya I miss you so much..

And someone told me casually the other day you know you look the kind of person who doesn't need anyone in life..you appear to be emotionally very strong (huh?!) I felt so bad.. so bad because I could not tell how emotionally weak I am and how terribly I need someone.. I need you..How will I live without you ya..why can't I get you.. :(

I think people get the ones they love are really lucky.. I know it happens to others..why does it happen to me..Miss you always..am back to listening to these songs..and have added one more the list Chandni Raatein :(

And check out this amazing video and Joey and Rachel..can't embed it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQsRmQI_rz4

Will write a better not-so-emotional post later this week..

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Of Chutki from Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge..

Hmm.. so I had written one post yesterday but took it off as I felt it was probably too personal. So I am writing another post that I have been postponing for a really really long time (there are still many left especially Mukteshwar trip).

The last time I had written about Deepa from Dil Chahta Hai..never did I imagine that there are so many people who love her. Every 2-3 days someone or the other gets directed to that post here when they search for Deepa. This is the best thing about blogging, you can connect with complete strangers just by their thinking and it gives immense pleasure that yes, someone there is probably thinking like you :) I think we all who love Deepa should do something more for her..don't know what..maybe ask Farhan about where did she go :-(

Hmmm..continuing my love for secondary characters in films, I always think Chutki of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge is another strong character. She comes across as someone who is much more intelligent than Simran, more practical than her, more forthcoming about her choices in life..and I don't think she would ever agree to compromise on something as important as her marriage. I think she would have fought with her father had she been in Simran's place. Simran was more docile and seems resigned to her fate..it wasn't her fault though..maybe she being the elder one brought up in a conservative family made her like this and you know that second children always get more because howsoever they may grow in age, they will always be 'chhote' in front of everybody. But I think Chutki was much more feisty than Simran. look at the way she scolds her probable brother-in-law Kuljeet that she likes being called Chutki only by a few close friends and that he should stop treating her like a kid. As her mother used to say, she tried to behave older than her age. And her Miss Lucy sayings are actually a lesson for us. Like she said

" आदतों को अगर सही समय पर न बदला जाये तो वो ज़रूरतें बन जाती हैं" when she makes fun of her mother calling her dad everyday "तुस्सी पहुँच गए जी" :)

or the scene where she says "बचपन जवानी कुछ नहीं होता, आदमी की age उतनी ही होती है जितनी वो feel करता है" :-)

And another one when her dad comes home angry after the beer incident, she advises Simran "बहती नव में हाथ नहीं डालना चाहिए, डूबने का खतरा रहता है"

Her quality to say things on the face and not being diplomatic reflects clearly when she sees Kuljeet for the first time. If she had been a subdued and mellow person, she would have kept her dislike for Kuljeet to herself and tried to placate Simran but she clearly shows this (the scene when Kuljeet comes back from शिकार.. ( I cannot control my laughter when Preeti says जी भैया शिकार पे गए है :P)

Another instance where she refuses to be quiet is when she tells Simran that even Raj hadn't eaten the whole day on करवा चौथ. Sorry Raj, मैं अब और चुप नहीं रह सकती

However, my personal favorite scene (and one of the movie's scenes that I absolutely love) is when she finds out that Raj is the same guy whom Simran had met in Europe..she says to Simran "दीदी, मुझे न यह Kuljeet  अच्छा नहीं लगता, लेकिन यह छत वाला बहुत पसंद है, तुम ना इसी से शादी करना" 
I love this scene :) Saying things on the face without being diplomatic!

This is what I came across when I tried to search about here

"Interestingly enough, while the film is all about Raj's love for Simran, Simran is rather spineless. Very much like Raj, she can get her will if she really puts her mind to it. Only she has been raised the conservative way and has only so much gut or isn't raised to be confident about her decisions. Her respect for the older generation is natural yet it comes across as obligatory. Writer-director Aditya Chopra has his way of making the film about his lady protagonist but not really about her. Mamma-darling, Lajjo (Fareeda Jalal), is strong yet unsure. But her fear of respect for her husband precedes everything else in her priorities or the priorities as she sees for her daughters. Remarkably enough, Chutki (Pooja Ruparel) is nothing like her mother or sister. I can see her getting away with more than what Simran was ever allowed."
There are so many other characters that are more strong than the protagonist. One of my other personal favorites is Sandhya Mridul in Saathiya. She plays Dina, Suhani's (Rani Mukherjee) sister. What a charming scene is that one in which she asks Aditya (Vivek Oberoi) to whistle at Suhani :D कैसे आशिक हो तुम and he makes noise from his bike ;-) prompting Suhani to say "दी, तू आती हो या मैं आउन नीचे" :-) Sandhya Mridul is a terrific actress, acted very well in the film

Since we are talking about DDLJ, I think I found a goof-up in the movie ( I may be wrong). You see in the end the picture that Simran's dad sees when he finds out about Raj's truth is the one in which Raj is shown trying to give a rose to Simran.. is that scene when instead of giving the rose, he puts a stream of water in her face..now if you clearly see that scene at the beginning of the film there was no camera in any body's hands..neither did Raj's friends had any camera (they were clearly standing behind him) nor did Simran's friend had any camera (as they were also standing behind). So how did this picture come? From some stranger ;-) But I think itna to chalta hai :)

Anyway, will write more if I remember about other lovable characters (there sure are many)..till then Ta Ta :)

P.S. - I also love that scene of Chtuki and Simran dancing to the song and as soon as the bell rings the song gets changed to K.L Sehgal's कितना नाज़ुक है दिल and they turn into Miss Goody two shoes..here..so true! If I start talking about DDLJ's scene, this would never end. More later :)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Groom's Blush and The Color of Marriage :)

I was talking about the pictures I took at my cousin's wedding in Dehradun है ना? These are the ones that I loved (and clicked). So here it goes..

Aah..the way he is blushing..it was when everyone started singing 'हम तुम एक कमरे में बंद हो' :)

The serene one..

The side one..

 This one is a confused smile :)

 Again the blush :P this was probably when another leg pulling song was being sung..

And this is one of my absolute favourites.. all smiles :)

 And the 'आरती की थाली' ..

Another one..

 Again he is all smiles :)

Me also likes this :)

The flower close up..

 The side view..

The side view -2..

Another fav of mine :)

 Somewhat okayish..

 Red - the color that defines marriage - सिंदूर..

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Real Real Sad Post...

Hmmm..Long time no see.. What to say.. I was out of Delhi, had gone on an office outbound training program to Mukteshwar last weekend, therefore did not write anything..and what to write here, in any case, people think I write negative all the time, but the thing is my blog is more like a diary..how can one write positive if one doesn't feel like? Anyways, this is going to be a really really long crib post, so I advise you to not read further as it will make you depressed further! You remember the episode in Friends when Joey is in love with Rachel but he can't tell her that, so Phoebe in order to cheer him up brings supposedly 'the happiest dog in the world', but at the end it is the dog who ends up getting depressed! Same is with me, you will end up getting depressed, so don't blame me later.

You know I have been dealing with a lot of work issues in office that have completely damaged my self confidence. I already suffer from a lack of self esteem and the events of the last 3-4 months have further made a dent in my confidence as a person. I don’t know why it happens to me but somehow or the other I end making up a fool of myself in front of my boss. I don’t have a problem with him, he is a very nice person, the problem is me, myself. And I really can’t understand why it happens. I do my work so carefully so that there is no error but it is so embarrassing when your boss can find so many errors in the same file. It is depressing. And this problem has come up more in the last 3-4 months only. Earlier it wasn’t like this. It makes me feel mediocre. I was so good in school. And if I tell anyone that I scored 95.4% in my Class 12th board exams and topped my school (all sections – science + commerce!) with getting 99/100 in Economics, all will laugh at me in disbelief. And people tell me that they have a problem with my sentence structuring! In contrast, the final exam of Class 11, my English ma’am showed my paper to all English teachers in school and I was awarded the certificate for the highest marks in English in Class 11 – all sections combined. No, I am not the kind of person who brags about myself but it really makes me feel was all that a hogwash? Was it some banal childhood thing of the past? Was it all a lie? Even in college, I was a pretty decent student. Am I that bad? You know there are people who are actually quite dumb but they don’t know it. Say someone like Peter Keating in The Fountainhead. But there are also people are quite dumb and know that as well. Just like Ellsworth Toohey of The Fountainhead as Ayn Rand defines them as ‘a man who never could be, but know it’. And you know it is even more depressing one you see all your peers doing so well and going places. I also feel that I should achieve something in life, make a great career of myself, do something pioneering. But whenever I try to do this, it is like some evil thing that comes up again and I start having doubts about myself. I was having the same discussion with my friend and neighbour P (who is one of the very few persons I wish to be like in the future).He told that we people slogged 2 years of our life in Class 11 and 12, went to such great colleges and then end up at a place where our entire hard work is negated. Am I destined to be like Ellsworth Toohey?

And my mom made a comment yesterday about how average people have got ahead in life and how I am left behind all this. Isn’t that such a shameful feeling? And when there are very few options that you see a bleak future, that is even more depressing. I have become so quiet that the other day my sister and my mom had a fight with me about why I don’t talk to them.

And there are few problems going on at home, so I don’t feel like staying at home too. So whether it is office or home, I am just depressed and more depressed. I have not tweeted since two weeks though I do read all the tweets. I haven’t updated any Facebook statuses. In any case, how does it even matter, as if my opinion will change something? I am no celebrity that people look forward to my tweets and blogs. And in any case, whatever I write some people think I am just so negative so why do I spoil their timeline but a blog is a very personal space. Here I am allowed to do whatever I like..no? I haven’t watched any movie in more than 2 months! What is happening ya? Kuch bhi theek nahi ho raha mere saath..

I have so much more to write ya but I think I should stop here. I hope the next posts are some good ones. I think I will probably write about something about my not-so-good trip to Mukteshwar and about my observations with people’s behaviour and what I wish to be in life. Till then happy (really??) reading...