Of Callie :(

Callie :( I love you Callie..Please please don't.. When Meredith says, yesterday I was at Callie's baby shower and was jealous of her..she got pregnant without any effort.. and I am doing all sorts of thing to get pregnant and today she has to go through this..Why is it that it happens like this? Is there an explanation for all this :(
Season 7 Episode 17 :(
And what an Episode 18!!

Will write more later :(

Of English, Emotions and Criticism...

Hmmm.. So I had my half yearly appraisal discussion this week.. It was on the expected lines.. Nothing great  to talk about..some things really screwed up but I knew it before hand what it is going to be like after all I know what kind of work I do :(

Anyways, during the discussion I received criticism in the form of a compliment..Seriously some people have exceptional people management skills on how to impart criticism to someone without antagonizing the one who is being critically evaluated..

Now, I am in a job that requires preparing reports with formal business language. But since we have all grown up and taught from school to be as elaborate as possible, unlearning that can be quite a difficult task (as in we have to avoid the use of 'have' as much as possible while writing). So, my manager told me, "You have a very literature style of writing probably because you are from an academic background or perhaps you were very good at English in school. But you need to change that." I felt so happy at least some praise during the not-so-good-discussion. And not because I am good at English (still make so many mistakes) but because I love the language English. My favorite subjects in school were English, Chemistry and Social Science! 

So, when I reached home I went back to my old answer sheets (have all from Class 9 -12). So I checked my pre-board Class 12 English paper and read through the paper. That reminded me of one of my favorite chapters in Class 12 English  book Machines and Emotions by Betrand Russell. Almost all my friends hated that chapter but I totally loved it, although certain points he made I clearly did not agree with but it was a beautiful essay that talked about how the mundane modem life like a machine is leading to a lack of spontaneity in our lives, leading to bottled up emotions, in which the thought of war appears to be an outlet for our emotions. And seeing the events of the past few years/days, especially after 26/11 in which there was talk of carpet bombing Pakistan, and now the Anna Hazare movement in which we want everything to be done immediately as Barkha Dutt writes "Maggi noodles type of justice", I believe in some of his points. Although some say that machines like playing consoles provide us an outlet for our violent side, I somehow have to agree with what Russell says that machines do starve our emotions. And when he talks about the role of press, it is as if almost his prophecy is coming true for India. The media wants us to have a war with Pakistan without understanding the huge consequences of a war! He says

The impulse to war has always existed since men took to living in societies, but it did not, in the past, have the same intensity or virulence as it has in our day. The greater ferocity of modern war is attributable to machines, which operate in three different ways. First, they make it possible to have larger armies. Secondly, they facilitate a cheap press, which flourishes by appealing to men’s baser passions. Thirdly, and this is the point that concerns us, they starve the anarchic, spontaneous side of human nature, which works underground, producing an obscure discontent, to which the thought of war appeals as affording possible relief.

Another interesting/controversial point that Russell makes is that instead of being rich, it is perhaps the desire to be respected that makes the people want to become rich. He says

In every big city, whether of Europe or of America, houses in some districts are more expensive than equally good houses in other districts, merely because they are more fashionable. One of the most powerful of all our passions is the desire to be admired and respected. As things stand, admiration and respect are given to the man who seems to be rich. This is the chief reason why people wish to be rich. The actual goods purchased by their money play quite a secondary part. Take, for example, a millionaire who cannot tell one picture from another, but has acquired a gallery of old masters by the help of experts. The only pleasure he derives from his pictures is the thought that others know how much they have cost; he would derive more direct enjoyment from Christmas cards, but he would not obtain the same satisfaction for his vanity.

In case, you want to read the full essay, go back to Class 12 book :) or read it as this link.

I mean what he wrote in early 1930-40s is coming true for us!! So true!

See here the following pic from the answer I wrote in Class 12 Pre-Board Exam. And don't miss the V Good at the end. My handwriting is childish, though everyone says it is very nice :) I can write better than this now, it is funny how our handwriting changes with time, although my ma'am loved my handwriting. She even to the extent of saying that it like a string of pearls :) Love you Ma'am :)

P.S- This is not a post about praising myself. I am not the kind of person who shows off.  I know how behind I have been left, this just reminds me of the good old days :(

Of Why I will not join Anna Hazare..

I am amazed at the hysteria created last week over Anna Hazaare! I do not doubt his good intentions but I am not in favor of the Lok Pal bill suggested by him. Agreed that the government's Lok Pal is toothless but neither is Anna's version. A flawed bill cannot replace another flawed bill. Sorry! but what he is suggesting is totally ridiculous and suggests of naivete. I am no law expert but what ever I have read about the bill shows that bill is totally undemocratic. Do you actually think creating a Lok Pal will actually remove corruption from our society? We have had Lok Ayukts for a long time but clearly they have completely failed. Just look at Karnataka! How Lok Ayukta Santosh Hegde was arm twisted by the government there forcing him to resign. Creating a Lok Pal will not anyway remove corruption from society!! And who will this Lok Pal be? In a country where the Supreme Court judges are accused of corruption how can we find this person to represent that? Moreover, concentrating power in hands of a single individual is totally against our Constitution. The same person who investigates will have the power to punish as well. Is this fair? Our constitution clearly separates power of the judiciary, legislature and the executive. How can this Lok Pal be given the role of judiciary? And they the Lok Pal could have members from Indian origin or Magsaysay award winners? Is our country that flawed that we can not find representatives from our selves? and who gives the power to these civil activists to force their law upon us? If they have so much problem with politicians, why can't the fight elections to become actual representatives? Why do we then criticize Sonia Gandhi's National Advisory Council. Giving legislative powers to NGOs who are not accountable to any body is preposterous!! Such a law requires debate an discussion and to blackmail the government to pass the law immediately is undermining the very idea of our democracy. What we need is an Accountability Commission and transparency and not a Lok Pal.  

But the thing that was most disturbing was that people took politician bashing as a fashion statement. Liking on Facebook, putting a link of him, joining the bandwagon was as some one suggested sort of Peepli Live media circus. The same people who fake their HRA slips, medical bills???  How many of the people do actually know the provisions of the what Anna is arguing for? Just that everyone is doing it, so should I is a dangerous precedent. Just look at what happened at Anupam Kher's house. India may have a flawed democracy but it ain't that flawed that out of 1.2 billion people I cannot find one honest representative. And Chetan Bhagat started a campaign called as Mera Neta Chor Hai..sorry Mr. Bhagat, if your Neta is flawed then stop electing him and if you say there is no alternative then why do ask Maoists and Hurriyat to join our electoral process..Let them continue what they are asking..I am putting some paragraphs of what I have gathered on against the bill below.. And does any one remember that Irom Sharmila has been on hunger strike for the last 10 years!! Tragic..

This is what Tavleen Singh wrote

If they had bothered to read the draft that Hazare’s Leftist advisors have drawn up, they would have noticed that its worst flaw is that it is anti-democratic in the most frightening way. It is not an ombudsman that it seeks to create but a despot with the powers to investigate, judge and punish anyone he suspects of corrupt practices. So if some NGO type of Leftist persuasion were to decide that his local MP was spending his constituency allowance on a project that did not benefit ‘the masses’, he (or she) could complain to his local Lokayukta and organise a raid on the MP’s property and order his arrest if he decides that public funds are being misused. It is not just officials but private citizens who will be under the Lokpal’s purview.

This is the way of totalitarian countries like China. It is not India’s way but you would not know it if you had been watching our news channels last week. One famous TV anchor became a sort of Lokpal himself by haranguing a Congress Party spokesman on behalf of ‘the people of India.’ 

Nitin Pai

How can we have Reforms 2.0 if “those politicians” are unwilling to implement them? The answer is simple: by voting. Economic reforms are not on anyone’s political agenda because those who are most likely to benefit from them do not vote, and do not vote strategically. At this point, it is usual to hear loud protests about how voting doesn’t work, most often by those who do not vote. This flies in the face of empirical evidence—when hundreds of millions of people turn up to vote. If it were not working for them, why would they be voting? They might not be demanding Reform 2.0, but something else, and are getting what they want. Instead of ephemeral displays of outrage—what happened to those post 26/11 candle-light vigils?—it is engagement in the electoral process that is necessary. There are some innovative ideas—like that of voters associations—that can be attempted.

Business Standard

It is tragic that an assortment of non-accountable activists, publicity-seeking busybodies and an assortment of do-gooders have all managed to push the gentle Mr Hazare into going on a fast unto death. No government in a democracy can approve of such blackmail. Merely because Mahatma Gandhi used a fast unto death as a means of exerting pressure on an alien, colonial government does not mean that in a democracy such tactics can be tolerated, much less eulogised. The situation in which the government finds itself is partly of the ruling party’s own making. By elevating the status of non-government organisations (NGOs) that are not accountable to anyone, and by not activating its own cadres on development and other issues of public concern, the Congress party has given a larger-than-life role to NGO leaders. Nothing should be done, even in the name of fighting corruption, that can weaken the Indian state and the office of the head of government, who is the embodiment of national sovereignty and answerable only to Parliament. If necessary, Mr Hazare should be force-fed and hospitalised, but not allowed to browbeat an elected government of the people.

02 April, 2011 - A Part of History

02 April, 2011.. India wins the World Cup!! In case, you are living on some other planet, you would have known by now that India has won the Cricket World Cup 2011!! The first host country to win the Cup at its home soil.

Thank you Indian cricket team for what you have given us. Nothing can ever match the sense of jubilation that you have provided us. In a country scarred  by the plethora of scams that keep cropping up every third day, that has led to question the very foundations of our idea of India, you have provided us a new hope.. a new dawn that yes we can..and yes we did! You have instilled in us the feeling once again that there is no substitute for hard work..that dreams come true..The final six you hit, Sir MS Dhoni, the hopes of 1.2 billion Indians rose with that six hoping that all their prayers will be answered..and it did.. God does exist and probably that is why he answered our prayers..Thank you for making us a part of history..Cricket is perhaps the only unifying factor in a country as diverse as India..we all are always looking for heroes so that they can rescue us when we are down..Thank you for being our heroes..Look at fate's supreme irony. The so-called paper tigers who threw out innocent Biharis in the name of pride couldn't have been more shamed..As one message said,  a captain born in Jharkhand lifting the cup in the very city whose thugs threw them out. And the entire team dedicating the cup for a Maharashtrian.. It is a tight slap on those who try to divide us..Thank you for everything..the calendar years of 1983 and 2011 are same.. seems God had already plans for us.. It rained in Delhi last night when you won, an ominous sign that perhaps Gods are crying with us as well..Will love you always! ! खुद ही को कर बुलंद इतना के खुदा बन्दे से खुद पूछे तेरी रजा क्या है ...

I never cry after these matches but yesterday was different. And I guess there was no dry eye yesterday..Especially after Yuvraj, Dhoni, Harbhajan and Sachin crying like anything, the whole country cried with them. I don't know but there is something terribly comforting on seeing grown men cry. Crying is one emotion that humanizes us all and to see such testosterone-loaded men in tears, gives a feeling of catharsis instead of weakness..

And Sachin.. there couldn't have been a perfect swan song than this for him..Virat Kohli excellently summed it up when he said "Sachin has been carrying the country's burden for the last 21 years, the least we could was to carry him on our shoulders". Sachin, an epitome of grace, dignity and human spirit, this world cup is for you.. Thank you for everything..You will always always be there in our hearts as someone who taught us how to live our lives..people say you are the world's greatest batsman but Sachin, in addition to all that, you are the world's best human being..We have learnt human principles from you..from strength, hard work, conduct, craft, ability, sportsmanship to character..you taught us all.. you taught us that dreams do come true.. you are our teacher, our idol, an ideal...Thank you!

And Gary Kirsten..a special thanks to you as well for being the silent understated worker who crafted this for us, continuously working from behind the scenes..

To sum it all, there is a game that says to write the words you love..and yesterday and forever, for all of us it will be INDIA...

P.S. If you find any more crying photos, please send me

Of Panjak,C, Stupid Seat Change, उर्दू शायरी and J's Resignation...

The past few days have been quite eventful.. a lot of things have happened..some good and bad!

As I have written before that there is some cosmo connection that whenever you think of something, it is some sort of co-incidence that you see it everywhere.. In my last post, I had written about World Sparrow Day and how sparrows reminded me of the story A Portrait of A Lady by Khushwant Singh (about his grandmother). I had written a post about my grandmother and I was reminded of her. Now in office while I was doing primary research for my project, a female respondent from the US, incapacitated by her inability to speak Indian names addressed me a Panjak,which instantly reminded me of my grandmother's way of calling my name Pangad :)

And in my this post, I had written about how my friendship with C has completely deteriorated and you know what C called me today!! It so happened that he had posed some pics on Facebook and I liked them.. I don't know whether it was a catalyst, he suddenly messaged me to send my number to him...I did and called me back. He is now in Delhi and asked to meet up.. I couldn't believe it.. It was after ages I talked to someone for over half an hour on phone but some how I felt it was not the same thing.. something was amiss...let's see how it turns out...
Also, my seat in office has been changed :( Apparently, some new joiners are joining and so to make space for everyone we have to shift on the floor below..What the crap it is!! I love my seat..for the last 1.5 years it has been my home..the place where I have spent the maximum time of my life after my bed..how can one be asked to leave their home suddenly?? that place defines me.. people say  यह पंकज की सीट है.. It is like I am being usurped from my home.. I am not very particularly fond of my neighbours.. I had been sitting alone for some time.. I can sit alone.. I talked the most to R and K both of whom left last year.. it's not the neighbours I am worried about..it's just that I hate change..now I have to start all over again :( Talking of usurping, you know the innocent people who the government chucks out in the name of development, I can totally sympathise with them..my whining might be inconsequential to their humongous suffering.. It's an extremely scary thought.. The Land Acquisition Act of 1894 allows the government to compulsorily acquire private land for a “public purpose” provided it pays just compensation.. So can you believe that tomorrow the government might come and throw me out of my house because they want to make Metro station at my place? What will we do?? It's time to update these laws but unless Miss Mamata Bannerjee allows nothing can be done! I will protest any forced acquisition of land!! How can a family who has stayed at a place for generations be suddenly asked to leave? We are living in an unfair world! More on land acquisition here.

Meanwhile, I saw some fascinating snippets of the debate in the Indian Parliament over cash-for-votes scam. Sushma Swaraj (who these days is my favourite politician because of her sensible and logical views on every issue and the way she is on a roll, I see a potential PM in her but why oh why!, she again said that she will go bald if Sonia G becomes PM, get over it Sushma ji!!)  and Manmohan Singh shared some fantastic couplets in the Lok Sabha..
सुषमा स्वराज: तू इधर उधर की ना बात कर, यह बता की काफिला क्यों लूटा, हमें राह्ज़नो से गिला नहीं, तेरी रहबरी का सवाल है..
(Don't talk hearsay, tell us why the caravan was looted. we have no grouse against dacoits but it is a question of your leadership)
मनमोहन सिंह : माना की तेरी दीद के काबिल नहीं हूँ मैं, तू मेरा शौक़ तो देख, मेरा इंतज़ार तो देख (I understand that I am not worth your gaze, but have a look at my keenness, have a look at my anticipation for you)

It's charming which Sushma ji admitted!! It was nice that the PM showed some spine.. Nice couplet for flirting no? I want to learn Urdu! it is perhaps the only language that has no cuss words and it is sheer poetry! But where to learn Urdu!! In fact, I want to to learn so many languages - French, German, Chinese, Bengali, Tamil, Multani (my own language!) The picture is from Berco's which means Chinese according to the people there! Chinese is so bloody difficult!

Meanwhile, J also resigned this week. He wrote a beautiful post (the link is here) on his feelings post the resignation.. It is a very complex world.. the thing you have been waiting for years and when you get it, you start thinking of the things you are going to miss.. God really is strange..would have made man after so much thinking! Anyhow, J gave a treat at Berco's (the above pic is from there) today and it was very nice! I don't know when I read that post,it also gave me a very weird feeling..very difficult to put down in words.. Once again, a big shout to J for getting what you want..We all will miss you :(

I guess this is enough for today.. Will write more this week about another amazing movie (hindi movie that is!!) that I watched recently.. Till then..Adios!! Hasta Leugo!

Of Holi and Sparrows...

Holi..

There was a Holi party in office on Friday. I am not a big fan of parties. I feel lost in parties whether it is office parties or functions at a relative's place. I only go to parties for food! So my primary purpose of going to the party was food, especially chaat! it is soo long I had gone to a wedding! I had everything from chhole kulcha, pav bhaaji, glo gappe, tikki, macaroni, aloo, dinner. My purpose was solved. I had gone prepared that I will not play Holi at all but I guess was expecting too much, as soon as I entered, I was smeared all over and once you are smeared it is really no point running away from the colours. Everyone, except one person, was completely splashed in colours! Else party was ok.. as usual I was feeling lost when people were drinking and dancing...and I was busy eating :)

Meanwhile I was thinking of Holi. I had only associated Holi with हिरन्यकश्यप-प्रह्लाद-होलिका and knew that people celebrate Holi with much vigour in Vrindavan as it is associated with रास लीला. Today Brunch carried some famous legends on Holi. Apparently,  कृष्ण was jealous of the fair colour of राधा, so he smeared her with colours and that is why we celebrate Holi. There was one more story associated with  शिव पार्वती. It's so fascinating! I absolutely love Indian mythology. I think Greek and Indian mythology have some of the most fascinating stories ever! I saw some amazing pics on Holi.. it is absolutely brilliant. I just want to buy a camera. Here is the link!! Stunning!! I have got these pics from there only!

I think Holi is one festival that epitomises human soul. Each of us has different colours in us - red, green, blue, yellow, pink, black, grey. These colours represent various traits in us. Our soul is a melange of all these colours, however the amount of colour is different in each of us and that is what gives us our individual personalities. That is why perhaps I love India so much, beautiful to the core...

And finally I got my एक चुटकी सिंदूर... see the pic.. एक चुटकी सिंदूर की कीमत तुम क्या जानो रमेश बाबु! ईश्वर का आशीर्वाद होता है एक चुटकी सिंदूर, औरत के सर का ताज होता है एक चुटकी सिंदूर, हर नारी का ख्वाब होता है एक चुटकी सिंदूर! 

Also, today is World Sparrow Day as well. Haven't these beautiful birds simply disappeared? Earlier I used to wake up at the sound of the sparrows but these days I am lucky if I spot one. Sparrows remind me of my childhood and I believe that we should try to preserve memories of our childhood as far as possible. What else will remind us of that? That is why I refused mummy from throwing away my school blazer and the antique watch she had got on her wedding! Sparrows also remind me of the Class 11 story, The Portrait of A Lady by Khushwant Singh. I miss these sparrows. Hope they come back. And isn't it ironical that we are fascinated by the artificial tweets on twitter and hardly care about the birds that bring the real tweets to us...It's an unfair world with unfair comparisons...

Of Deepa from Dil Chahta Hai...

You remember Deepa from Dil Chahta Hai? The girl who used to keep running after Aakash. I absolutely love her. There are some characters who remain etched in our mind forever. And for me, Deepa is one of them. She is one of the characters that I completely identify with. She kept running after a philanderer who avoided her like anything; who used to change his path when he saw her face; who hid behind bushes in hotels; who jumped in the middle of the sea as soon as he heard his name being called by her. In spite of all this, she loved him. Isn't it difficult to maintain the same feeling when you know the person you love totally ignores you? Being totally crazy about a guy who at that point in time did not even believe that there is something called love. Why did she do this? Weren't other guys available who could love her? Why only Aakash? That brat who never left a chance to make fun of her, and the one who got beaten in front of the entire crowd for teasing someone else's fiancée. Wouldn't Sid be a wonderful partner for her? It is this fascinating thing called love. It has no control over anyone. It makes one run after people that Monica would have labeled "What were you thinking?" (Rachel: Well, I should then just go across the hall and write that on Chandler) It was fascinating to see Deepa's eyes, the way she blushed when Aakash called her name. I wish there was more of her in the film. She was not dumb, but a very sensible and a smart girl. It was perhaps her love for Aakash that made her do silly things. At the end. when Sid sees another girl near the fort in Goa, I at first thought it was Deepa.

Would it have been wrong if Deepa and Sid became a couple? Would her love for Aakash be called as crazy infatuation. I don't know. I somehow cannot picture her with Aakash. What would have happened to her? Where did she go? I wish there was some closure to her story. Will Farhan tell us more about her? Someone who completely ignores you but still somehow you can never let them go. We can imagine what she would have felt by Aakash's behavior. Her story was of hope, courage, determination. Maybe she was banking that one day Aakash might change his mind. She was one of the strongest characters in the film in some ways, even stronger than Aakash, who in spite of loving Shalini, did not even say it once to her, and only does so on the day of Shalini's wedding only after Mahesh makes him realize why Shalini is marrying Rohit. Did he understand then how Deepa would have felt? Didn't she deserve Aakash's love? Was she unlucky in love? Why are people unlucky in love?

In one of the movie's best scenes, Sid and Deepa are sitting on the beach side.

Sid says, "दीपा तुम इतनी  खूबसूरत हो, इन्तेल्लिगेंट हो, तुम्हे तो आकाश के अल्वा कितने अच्छे लड़के मिल जायेंगे."

And, she heartbroken replies, "अगर मैं इतनी ही अच्छी हूँ तो मुझे आकाश क्यूँ नहीं मिल सकता."

Sid says, " हाथ में थामी मिटटी को जितना पकड़ने की कोशिश करोगे उतना ही वो हाथ से निकल जाएगी."

I love you, Deepa. You taught us many things about life. To be never afraid of rejection, to always say about things openly, and to express love without fear. Here's hoping you got what you wanted.

Of Losing Friends..

It's a really weird phenomenon. Like some cosmic connection. You know for the past few days I have been thinking about friends. On March 8, I had tweeted "time has made me lose out so many friends..I used to be a good friend to some of them.. and now I have lost them.." On Friday March 11, I was having lunch in the cafeteria and noticed two friends having lunch. I see them everyday. They have lunch together everyday. They were having Pepsi and seem to be having a good time.I was just thinking how good friends they are na! And today, Dil Chahta Hai was coming..the evergreen story about friendship..I mean whenever I have been thinking about something I see it every where or perhaps it may be that whatever you are thinking about, you notice that thing more so that you see it everywhere..ever since I have left college, I have become some what of a very bad friend. I always used to make friends that will be there with me for life but all of a sudden it is like I am losing those very friends..and it is me who is to blame for it all.. I hardly call any one and rarely meet any one.  I take so much time in making friends and there are very few people who I can call at 3 AM in the morning to help me out but it seems that I am losing them one by one. And add to the fact, I keep on finding flaws in them.. such a terrible person I am..ain't it? 2 months a friend had pinged me and I did not reply at all.. and ever since I haven't talked to him. I thought I will write a mail but you know time never comes.. And one of my friend's father expired.. I just got to know when I had ignored the message the day it was sent.. so bad of me...I don't know why it is happening but some how I don't feel like talking. And you know I am such a boring person, I run out of ideas to talk even with my friends leaving them even more bored of my company. And when I see updates of people on FB with their friends, I can't help but feel pity on myself. At one point I want to have super cool friends like V and K, but at the other end, I don't maintain my existing friends :( I really want to go to places like Kasauli, Bombay, Sikkim with friends.. Frankly speaking, I can go alone but somehow I don't want to..I miss you a lot C.. you were my only friend since I was five..why did you do this to me...what had I done..did I do something that hurt you..it's almost seven years since we talked..I know things will never be the same again ya...I have moved on..and guess so have you..

I guess I went offtrack ya but ever since I have watched Dil Chahta Hai today, I am feeling lost..I will try to be a good friend..While searching for the pic,I found this one.. I love Deepa..wish they had put more of her as to what happened to her after Sid talked to her :(

On Why Being Sad Makes Me Happy..

Some time back I had written a post on why being sad makes me happy, but that was more of a generic post. There have been so many people coming to the blog searching 'why being sad makes them so happy' (one of them is now my facebook friend as well), it somehow made me think even deeper on why some people including me feel a sense of comfort when we are sad. I really couldn't come up with a satisfactory explanation. I think it depends more on our nature and our personality. I am an introvert person and don't open myself easily in front of others. We all are looking for someone who can really understand us because we are surrounded by people of totally opposite to our nature i.e extrovert and too over the top. It somehow makes me feel that I am some kind of a different person, not suited for this world. In this quest for a person who could really understand us and let me be as I am, we somehow feel lost and know in our hearts that we have to change ourselves if we want to survive. And it's not so easy to change yourself as you are. To completely mould yourselves with the society, requires great mental strength, which I do not have. Thus a sense of disillusionment sets in and feel resigned to fate as to I can never be really happy in life unless I change. Moreover, I have had some pretty bad experiences in life. Whenever I have achieved some real happiness, something or the other goes wrong. Now when something good happens, it makes me feel scared as to 'is this happiness really true'? It makes me feel as if this happiness is like an illusion, which will last for a fleeting moment. It is like feeling guilty to enjoy this happy moment. Guilty of what I don't know? How can this happiness come to me? Is God playing some wicked game with me..is it the warning before a storm? Whenever I have tried to come out of this negative phase, something or the other happens, it makes feel as if this was a signal that you are destined to be like this. Whenever I try to bring upon a change in myself, it goes horribly wrong, so I have accepted the fact I will be like this all my life. I have been unhappy for such a long time, that I have become so familiar with it, that when happiness comes it is like something unnatural for me. We have lived in darkness for such a long time that when light comes, we feel blinded as to don't know how to react this flashing beam. We want to quickly go back to my familiar state where we have lived for so long. It is like darkness comforts us and wee don't know how things will pan out when lights goes off again. So why let light come in the first place? And perhaps that is why I hate things changing around me. And it is said that change is the only permanent thing in life. Is it then the uncertainty of future that makes me like this? Does that make me a defeatist? Does that make a less ambitious person? Can introvert people not be ambitious? People say happiness is subjective. Is something wrong when I say that my happiness is sadness. Isn't it better than faking your happiness? Isn't it better than feeling nothing at all? Is that why I love sad films? Is that why I like sad songs? Do you have a better explanation for this?

I don't know what I wrote makes sense or not but I have been thinking a lot about this. So randomly what came in my mind I just wrote..

Of General Post About Life and Grey's...

Every Sunday night, I try to take out some time to think of how of the week went by and how the coming week is going to be..and if am in mood, write a blog post of what comes out of the day dreaming..

Anyways, the past week at office was somewhat bad..I got a somewhat not so good feedback for a project.. and frankly, I didn't feel bad at all because I know my mistakes, I know I am not so good a worker but what I felt bad was that it made me think I am somehow not fit for the corporate culture.. if somebody else was at my place, he would have at least went and asked for clarifications as to were the lacunae that were there.. but I didn't feel like..I don't like to question things that people think of me..If they don't like me I cannot change their opinion..I have been repeatedly told by every one in office that I need to come out of my shell and stop being such a pushover..but I can't change myself so easily..Is it that easy to let go of your self? I kept on thinking that I am not suited for this life ahead..Will I be able to survive? All I wish for is a life near the sea shore with me having not to work at all.. and if I was creative, I could at least think of doing something else but alas! am not one of them..

And I am not talking to my sister who fought with me on who-will-remind-dad-to-call-the-guy-to-repair-the-computer.. it's been 3 days..theek hai..yeh sab to chalta rehta hai.. khud itna sadti hai aur mujhe bolti hai ki main sadu hun...huh!

I was at home during the weekend..saw no movie...wanted to see Tanu Weds Manu but couldn't find anyone to go with..if it was a good movie, I could have gone alone but it's a fun ligh watch and it would be creepy to go alone for this kind of film no? Instead I saw Guzaarish again on TV today..what a movie ya.. simply amazing..I just want to go inside the screen and experience the sets..what beautiful sets..what amazing photography.. what pretty costumes!! and after that I saw Mirch..one of the very few films celebrating a women's sexuality.. the first two stories are hilarious especially Konkona and Prem Chopra one..Ila Arun is fab..the last two are somewhat okayish..overall a light hearted watch..

And also saw two episodes of Grey's.. how can a show be so good ya..Mark is back with Lexie :) Bailey got drunk..haha..loveeee her.. and she has found a new guy for her too...and Arizona came back from Africa but Callie shut the door on her face..and Teddy is marrying a sick guy to cure him as he doesn't have insurance..what a lady!! and Christina is finally getting back on track..she went fishing with Derek who is trying to heal her brilliantly..she caught a fish and cried like anything..what scene ya :( I hope you come back soon Dr. Yang..we miss you totally :( And Alex and Meredith were talking about themselves that only 2 of them survived..they had thought that out of all only 2 will stay till the end - Christina and either of them but look at life..Christina is out, Izzie is out, George is dead.. and Alex and Meredith remain..will watch more..

So enough for the day..will write more later...

Bye.

Of Disappontment with 7 Khoon Maaf and The Fascinating Seventh Murder

I can't help but feel a bit disappointed after watching 7 Khoon Maaf. It's not that I hated it. It's a nice film, perhaps if any other director would have made it, it would have been appreciated but coming from the house of Vishal Bharadwaj, it is sort of underwhelming. Based on the book Susanna's Seven Husbands by Ruskin Bond, 7 Khoon Maaf is the story of Susanna who is perhaps, one of the most unlucky persons to get such terrible husbands, not once, not twice but six times. Vishal uses a very simple storytelling way, each husband is introduced, his flaw is revealed and then Susanna kills him. So very early on, you get to know how the film will pan out. Kaminey was appreciated because of the fact that it did not treat the audience as a duffer. Vishal used a somewhat complicated style in Kaminey to let the audience figure out for themselves what is going on. However, 7 Khoon Maaf adopts a very cliched style. Yes, some of it is expected given the nature of the roles but perhaps he could have executed it in a better way. As in like, time travel that was done beautifully in Kill Bill. Or perhaps, he could have delved more into Susanna's character as to why she only kills her husbands? why does she simply not leave them? And how does she cope with them? There was this scene in which her servant tells the story that she never changes her path and narrates the instance when as a kid she killed a dog who came into her way. Or her love for snakes. I wish they had put some more scenes on her psychology. The film was dragging in a few places and wish it could have been crisper.

But there are some good things to be spoken about in the movie as well.

Priyanka is fabulous. I just love her..however, in some scenes I felt she was struggling a bit..but still, all of it is forgiven..she has truly evolved as an actress..starting from Andaaz to 7 Khoon Maaf..hope her choice of films remains good.

It was very interesting to see the Forensics Lab, a fascinating new place which is hardly shown in our movies..

Vivaan Shah is excellent. how silently he pined for Susanna..his Sahib.. wonderful actor..

Vishal makes superb characters and does extensive research..like the scene in which Susanna marries for the sixth time, she has a Bengali wedding.. after that, we see that she wears red and white bangles that are a mark of a married Bengali woman..

He also leaves a number of pop-cultural references..as in Susanna's favorite book is 'Anna Karenina'.. and when Arun comes back, we see on the table a book "The Seven Wives of Bluebird". Early on we see that a book called Looking Ahead is found in the bag Susanna when Arun is opening her stuff. Or the music that was playing in the background just before Wasiullah urf Musafir was killed..haven't been able to look who was singing but am sure Vishal was referring to some great singer..and of course, he uses newspaper clippings, radio, and TV news headlines to tell us which year we are in.. I got reminded of Midnight's Children.. a brilliant idea to let the audience figure out which year..I am sure I am missing out on some others!

Out of the husbands, the least I liked was Annu Kapoor and John Abraham..rest all were nice.. that scene in which Neil points his amputated leg at Susanna, was fabulous. I thought he is going to kick her..anticipation..brilliant scene..

Or that scene, in which John's college bandmate says something like "pehle Sony ko becha aur ab T-Series ko becha..vo O Mata banake bech rahe hai" it was hilarious.

Aur that scene in which Arun says, "Bharatiya ladkiyon ko guitar bajane vale pasand hai..yeh to gaata bhi that."

I also like Naseeruddin Shah turning a thief..that was a surprise!

Even Irrfan Khan played a perfect sadist poet..what poetry he versed.. and how different was he in real life..just terrific that scene in which he keeps on slapping her.. makes you cringe.

But perhaps the best of all was the seventh murder.. she finally embraces Christ and drinks his blood..she realizes that in spite of all her flaws, Yeshu will embrace her with open arms..her final redemption would be confessing to the one who knows it all..that was perhaps the most haunting scene of the movie that kept playing in my head after I came out..and what place is that when she tells Arun that she will drink his blood in the sea with the waves splashing with the sun setting behind. Pondicherry I think..wonderful cinematography!! I wish there was more of such stuff.. that makes us think!!

And special mention of the music..Darrling is one of the finest songs that we will see this year! But I totally loved Bekaran (what picturization!!) and Awara (haunting)

Here is what one review said..the full review is here. I completely agree when she says that there was no need to kill the husbands.. a better treatment would have ensured the film some rationalization!

I suspect one of the key intentions of the director was to look at woman’s quest for love and the disappointment she faces from men for a variety of reasons. We can no doubt see that Susanna is not just looking for love, she is looking for a love that’s perfect. Her first marriage (with Neil Nitin Mukesh) is an arranged one (her father had wished for this union) and she deals with her husband’s insecurities (perhaps resulting from the awareness that she did not ‘choose’ him). The second marriage, which promises youthful happiness and pleasure, is of her choice and she happily agrees to change herself for him (suggested by her ready acceptance of the name Susie for his Jimmy). But here is a man whose directionless youthfulness is his undoing. He cannot appreciate her self-effacing gesture for he has lost his own self in drug-induced hallucinations. Wasiullah Khan (Irrfan Khan), with his poetic sensibility, carrying an air of hurt humanity seems to be the answer till she realizes that his sensitivity remains tied to his intellect never deigning to come down to his physical or emotional self. The Russian husband is the possibility of a stranger or outsider providing love but not knowing a person has its own pitfalls. By the time the outsider is discarded, some disillusionment has already occurred. So this time when Officer Keemat Lal (Annu Kapur) offers a Teddy Bear (romantic love) with one hand while hiding a Viagra (lust) in the other, it is not difficult for Susanna to call his bluff. The possibility of young innocent love (Arun) is no longer available to her for she has already eaten of the apple, so to say. With the sixth husband it’s no longer a question of love/lust/pain/betrayal; it is a question of life and death and Susanna chooses life.

Now the same material with a lighter treatment and it may have been possible to understand it better at least on a symbolic level. You would now have Susanna only as a tool to examine this quest without any individualized, detailed characterization. Her various marriages would have been attempts to find love and the killings would not have been literal but a mere discarding of possibilities that failed. The episodes with various husbands could have acquired more meaning. The climax of the film – that is brilliant in its conception – would then come to life – it took Susanna almost a lifetime, but she finally realizes that the perfection or truth she is looking for is impossible to find in the material, male-dominated world. It is in religion that she finds the last and final husband, for Christ can not only offer eternal love, he’ll offer it to an imperfect being like her.

The reason Saat Khoon Maaf sends out confusing signals is because Susanna’s motives are unclear and muddied. That takes the force out of the narrative, giving it a rambling quality. Her husbands also come out more as stereotypes than individuals. Vishal Bhardwaj saves his film from becoming a sensational thriller and has all the right intentions but he has not succeeded in making Saat Khoon Maaf either a narrative or stylistic treat.

Of Trolls, Christina, Break Ke Baad and 7 Khoon Maaf..

Hmmm.. my Internet was not working for two days, so wasn't able to put a post that I wanted to write and now I have forgot on what I wanted to write about..

Anyway, I got the worst feeling today..someone in an email to me said "Stop trolling around" and "ruffling feathers of people".. total crap.. I felt terrible.. I know I have been screamed at before a lot..but seriously a troll?? it is the worst insult as a person if one is considered a troll.. please am not a stalker..

Anyhow, Grey's Anatomy :( I have seen 7 episodes of Season 7 and I love love that show.. Christina please start behaving like your normal self..please come back.. I miss the bitchy passionate Christina who always had the fire in her.. always ready to be the best cardio-thoracic surgeon.. Even Burke did not do this to you..please come please back..and please don't blame Meredith for what all happened.. Isn't she your soul mate? And Callie and Arizona broke up..I am sad for Callie :( And please Mark stop sleeping with everyone of Shepherd's wife and sisters..Lexie is the best girl in the world you can ever get..

I also saw Break Ke Baad and Do Dooni Chaar ( which deserves a proper post!!).. Break Ke Baad is one of those movies you can sleep walk.. it is not bad.. it is not very good either..perhaps I missed the emotional connect with the movie..but yes, it was different.. a girl instead of a guy who is wary of commitment..such a beautiful place they have shot.. and I loved that scene when Aaliya says "Maybe I am not meant for love".. it reminded me of myself as I also feel that I am not meant for love and incapable of being loved.. and I also liked it when Aaliya's mom says "you are not special that people love you, you are special because people love you despite what you are".. I still believe that I Hate Luv Storys was one of the best love stories that I saw last year..

Meanwhile, my current favourite song is Darling from 7 Khoon Maaf.. I just love the line "public mein sansani ek baar karne do" :) Just 3 more days..Bhai yeh picture ka intezaar main What's Your Rashee jab release hui thi tab se kar raha hun..Phew 1.5 years!! Hope it is not like What's Your Rashee?!

On a personal note, I have been even more disturbed for some issues but I try to show that all is fine..I am caught between two things..I try not to think of it and let fate decide what is in store but how much will I procrastinate..Will write more about it later..

 It's raining outside.. February Rain.. the rain gods obliging the lovers.. I love the pitter patter of rain drops..

Tata.. catch you later..

Of Change From Abhay Deol to Akshay Kumar..

In the last year, I have turned from Abhay Deol to Akshay Kumar!! From my favourite actor to the actor I hate most!! Sigh!! I remember doing that weight scale in April last year while going to Saataal at New Delhi Railway Station and I did one yesterday at Regal Theatre in CP (I still have both the cards as in the photo below). Yeh kya ho raha hai?? Weight increased by 2 kilos, I have seen my waist increase by an inch, my pants getting tight, my eyesight has has weakened, just got a new spectacles (-3.25 and -2.25) I get breathless after I take stairs to reach office at 5 floor, my hair has turned even more grey (already had grey hair, now according to mummy, it is even more grey who scolds me even more for not putting oil, I use oil everyday but mummy wants to put so much more!!) I have started to forget birthdays (I never forgot them come what may!).. I don't remember mobile numbers now.. Sigh..the side effects of sitting all day with no physical exercise..toh yahi hoga na!! Buddhe ho rahe hai sab.. imagine 23 years ka buddha!! Auro (of Paa) ki bimaari hamein lag rahi hai..Will do something about it.. but of all people Akshay Kumar???? Even Emraan Hashmi is better than Akshay!! Khair chhodo..

Of Song about Yeh Saali Zindagi..No Pun intended!!

Sudhir Mishra's next (of the Hazaaron Khawashien Aisi fame), Yeh Saali Zindagi, is making waves. I just love its song, sung by Shilpa Rao and featuring Chitrangada Singh. Such awesome lyrics—it is the lyrics that give a song its ultimate high. The following lines are so true: how we want things to be, but life has some other plans for us. I will watch it soon. 

Zindagi pe tera mera kisi ka na zor hai

Hum sochte hai kuch wo saali sochti kuch aur hai

Ye zindagi ye saali zindagi...

Hum chahate yahan hai saali jaati kahin aur hai

Lamhein aur lamhon ke beech ye tedhe medhe mod hai

Ye zindagi ye saali zindagi

Of Long Time No See Posts and Thanks to Followers...

I had taken two days off from the office. My 4-day sabbatical is coming to an end. I don't know I am not feeling depressed but I am feeling very angry. No not at the office or thought of going to work but very very angry at some faceless person. Who that person is I don't know :(

Anyways, the purpose of this post is haal chaal..since 4-5 posts and I haven't been told about what is happening.

The last week was quite hectic-work-wise. I worked on 26th January also because of work. I am a bit slow in work and add the fact that already we get limited time for certain projects, mere se to ho hi nahi pata..

So, there was something at home, so applied for leave.

Things aren't very well at home. They are just fine. Papa is very tense because of some issues. 

I had planned so many things that I will do this, I will do that but somehow it didn't plan out, so 4 day weekend was not much of a success, except I managed to watch 3 films - We Are Family, Phas Gaye Re Obama and 127 Hours. I was at home only. Bas aur kuch ho nahi paya because there are some guests at my place, so my mom had to go with them, so no one at home, so I had to stay and phir paani ki  motor chalana, shaam ko doodh lana, vagareh vagareh sab karna hota hai.

Anyway, the post I had written on Dhobi Ghat..a lot of people are coming on the blog, while searching for the words - my muse, my whore, my beloved. I felt nice at least some people liked that line otherwise as Shobhaa De writes on her blog that it is one of the most ridiculous lines about Mumbai she ever heard, although she liked the film. But I like that line. I have an opinion, and you may disagree with it :)

Meanwhile, I had to buy a gift for Aastha for her birthday. I bought Dork by Sidin Vadukut and A Case of Exploding Mangoes by Mohammad Hanif. I wanted to buy Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro - The Book or The Diary of A Social Butterfly by Moni Mohsin but both were out of stock. But these two I hope she hasn't read them! and a funny thing happened, when I asked for this butterfly book, that Texsons Bhaiya said vo to aap ne pad li hai. I felt nice. although I haven't read it but was happy that he knows a little about my choice. He always tells me whenever there is a new Salman Rushdie book out. And he knows my frequency of reading..so it feels nice. I just love book shops..although my reading had drastically reduced in the last year, I feel at home in such shops. I wanted to open a library when I was in Class 9..can still do that but...

Also, I myself have started Cuckold!! finally had got it last birthday.. and I am totally loving it..the story of a King whose wife loves Krishna, so what does he do when he has God for competition..some magical lines are there..such as

Perhaps thinking about someone was the same as loving...

To see in flesh, that's the only way you can fall in love. Not by seeing a carving or a statue or a painting.

I will write more later.

One more follower today. I felt nice. Mannat.I don't know who she is but feels nice when there are people who look forward to your blog!! 6 followers (out of which 3 are not active, so left are 3)..and there are 3 more people who read anonymously. I know them..and a few are just once in a long long time types..so a big big thanks to all of you who read and bear this mediocre blog.

There are so many things that I have to write on..currently, at least 5 posts are pending of which I have thought of. Will write more later. Cya!!

Of Munni Madam and Monica Lewinsky..

What characters in Phas Gaye Re Obama!! Munni Madam has a fetish for statues, Dhananyjay Singh has perennial constipation or as they say bawasir who chants mantras, Bhaiya Ji has this ambition to go to Kullu and become a MLA by kidnapping who keeps tightening his pyjama strings!! there are so many laugh out moments when the English teacher comes and scolds Annie, or when Kanhaiyaa says I smell instead of I swear!! Talk is this Sirji.. English speaking no child's play :P And Munni Madam's cohorts are named Kareena, Deepika, Madhuri, Rani, Preity :D What an idea!! What dialogues - Tu apna time le lekin jaldi kar de!! or that hilarious scene where Munni Madam's girls are taking about Bill Clinton - Monica Lewinsky affair..wife bechari ghar me wait karti thi or yeh office me 20-20 ka match khelta tha.. or when Annie is explaining the role of FBI in Saddam Hussein, gatar se dhoond liya, phir check up karvaya aur suli par latka diya :D

Like the whole kidnapping business.. when the guy finally pays 25 lakhs for his father, he gets a receipt that guarantees that he will not be kidnapped again for 1 year.. It was pure black comedy but behind this lay a very strong comment on the state of our political system in rural hinterlands where kidnapping is as common as buying a vegetable.. just like the tragically comical Peepli Live..

Super super fun movie.. Worth checking out..strongly recommended.. Wish I had watched it in theatre..

Of We are Family..

माया: रिश्तों को हमेशा बाँध कर नहीं रख सकते, कभी साथ देते हैं तो कभी नहीं..बस उन्हें निभाने का सिर्फ एक ही तरीका होता है.. प्यार॥
माया: मेरे पास उनका गुज़रा हुआ कल है और तुम्हरे पास उनके आने वाला कल है॥
Totally loved the movie We Are Family..

My love for Kareena grows every time after watching her super acting..awesome she is!! and Kajol is as usual terrific..(these dumb Katrina and others should take acting lessons from her who in the name of God are getting Best Actress and Entertainer awards for her pathetic acting in Rajneeti and for this item song??) .. totally justified the jealousy and fear in Maya's character when she thinks her kids will forget her..But I would have liked if Maya also gave something to Shreya as well..like her necklace..she deserves so much more, she is becoming a mom to her kids and in a way foregoing her own right to be a real mother.. me likes the movie and also cried a bit as well :)

Dhobi Ghat

When you come out of the theatre, there are films that stay in your head for a long time. Ever since I saw Dhobi Ghat, I have been thinking of the film and added it to my favorites list. Yes, the film has flaws and certain issues, but which film doesn’t. And people do not like it, which is fine. Think of it: an average working-class person has two days off and is looking for something that can give him wholesome entertainment. He doesn’t want to get depressed. Take Guzaarish for example, it was not a bad film at all. It was perhaps one of the finest films last year, but the problem was not that the audience did not like it; the problem was that the audience did not watch it in the first place, thinking of the dull premise of the movie. They just didn’t come out and watch it. But I think entertainment is a very subjective thing. As a person, I like films with layered characters and something hidden. So, it is a subjective thing. I don’t look upon people who enjoyed Housefull or Golmaal 3; it is an individual’s choice. Perhaps that is why I could watch Saawariya, the grim story of perpetual longing and sacrifice. Kiran Rao said she wants to make movies only for a certain audience and is looking for more critical than commercial acclaim. She wants to tell a story that she wants the people to see and not a story that people will like to see. Perhaps that is why Aamir never promoted it much. The movie was made for just 5 crores and has recovered it already. The good thing is that there is now an audience for every kind of cinema, which is very positive for the industry.

Anyways, I am not writing a review, but some of the amazing things that I saw in Dhobi Ghat.
1. The films open beautifully with Mumbai in the Monsoons shown through Yasmin’s taxi ride. She says, "Aaye hue to sirf 5 mahine hue gaye phir bhi sab naya sa lagta hai," to the taxi driver who is also from her home state UP, and the song dil dhadak dhadak ke keh raha hai a bhi ja and while she is sitting in the taxi, some kids come for alms and start dancing as soon as they see her camera, just like that scene in the brilliant Luck By Chance when Zafar Khan meets some kids on the traffic signal.
2. Yasmin’s treasure box contains her video letters to her brother Iqbal and her precious things, such as her chain and surmachu. Her video letters were an absolute delight. There is this scene where she says, "Main kaisi lag rahi hun..pehle jaisn na ..abhi tak nahi badli hun." The gradual transition from a bubbly, innocent girl to a betrayed wife shows the irony of the statement. Her eyes reflect this change beautifully. Little did she realise how terribly her life would change.
3. Remember the final scene in Wake Up Sid, when Sid wears Ayesha’s kurta as his acceptance of his love for her. I think one of the most recurring themes of the movie was our desire to be connected. We human beings are essentially loners looking for somebody we can connect to. Just like Arun, who has no personal life and watches Yasmin’s videos as if it's porn, wears her necklace and ring, probably to get connected to her life..as if by wearing those, he would be able to connect to her even more or that taxi driver where he says to Yasmin that he is also from UP, or how Shai says that there was some different emotional connect with Arun, probably that is why she starts stalking him to finish some business. Another theme of the movie was the abruptness. Kiran essentially tries to show that life eventually moves on. She starts her movie in a taxi. She ends it in a car, and Arun initially shifts to a new place. He does the same at the end, and Munna shifts places and starts a new life..the city of Mumbai is ruthlessly indifferent, and there is no option but to just move on with our lives..just like that old lady living next door to Arun. 
4. The scene where Yasin captures her maid and her daughter is so natural, and her daughter sings The Brook by Alfred Lord Tennyson, perhaps one of the movie's most poignant scenes. I came and googled the poem.. the poem is probably a reference to the city of Mumbai.

I come from haunts of coot and hern,

I make a sudden sally

And sparkle out among the fern,

To bicker down a valley.

By thirty hills I hurry down,

Or slip between the ridges,

By twenty thorpes, a little town,

And half a hundred bridges.

Till last by Philip's farm I flow

To join the brimming river,

For men may come and men may go,

But I go on forever.

5. When it is raining, Yasmin says “Yeh bearish na ek dum lohri ki tarah hai jo sabko apni god me sula deti hai...and then she adds lekin meri bai kehti hai use bahut dikkat hoti hai..pani ko nikalne me.. baar baar ek mug se nikalna padta hai”...and when Arun is having a drink, he puts his glass in the rain to add some drops of rain in it to get a taste of rain.. I am sure all rain lovers would have loved this scene.

6. That old lady who is Arun’s neighbor doesn’t say anything in the entire film but says a lot through her eyes. There is so much pathos in her eyes. She is the silent spectator, just like Mumbai, the film’s fifth character.
7. My favorite character was Yasmin.. the way she looked at the bangles in a shop, Elephanta caves, she captured Ganesha Chaturthi..she was a pure delight..the way she wrote her name in the sand before waves kept coming, the way she says, "Yeh samundar apni gehrai me sab kuch chuupa leta hai."
8. I believe the movie's star was Mumbai, and Kiran Rao says that Mumbai is her fifth character. The way she, along with the cinematographer, has captured the essence of Mumbai is sheer magic. I was in Mumbai when I was just one year old, which I have no recollection of. For the last 2-3 months, there is this craving in me to go to Mumbai..the city of dreams..the city of indifference.. the city with so many layers.. That shot when Munna is putting a waterproofing sheet on his slum during the rain with 2 local trains passing by...such magic that shot.. or when Arun walks to sea after he realizes that Yasmin committed suicide..what picturesque beauty..or that scene in which Aamir is walking with thousands of people in the bazaar..what amazing shot.. and when Shai says she wants to capture Munna naturally..not in studios as these look artificial..the way she captures that fisherwoman, Munna in Dhobi Ghaat, local trains. I have fallen in love with the black-and-white mode. I want a camera just like her.. such terrific shots of the city..
9. The class difference that has become so entrenched in our society... like that scene when Shai’s maid serves tea differently.. a glass for Munna and a fancy mug for Shai clearly shows our hypocrisy as a society..we talk of a class-less society. But ask our maids to sit on the floor and serve them tea in glasses, befitting them.. and how Munna eventually realizes that Shai and he are totally different people living in two different worlds.
10. The old-world music sung by Begum Akhtar and Siddeshwari Devi reflects the somber mood of the characters.
11. The brilliant portrait of Yasmin at the end reflects her journey from a colorful life to her ultimate tragedy.
12. The way Munna keeps his money in the tape recorder..terrific camerawork in that scene..
13. The profession of night rat killers

14. Munna's final act of giving Arun's address to Shai..super acting in the climax by both Prateik Babbar and Monica Dogra
The only thing I did not like much was Aamir Khan's performance as Arun. He seemed to be trying too hard, hamming, and overacting. 
There were so many other scenes, I will surely watch it again just to understand the finer nuances of the film..I read a fantastic review that said that Arun's character could be seen in the way he sees Yasmin's videos..he could stop them and start them on his will..but he could not do the same for real people; that is why it made him uncomfortable. Such layers are in all characters. It was sheer poetry in motion that slowly grows on you. It is a perfect tribute to the city of Mumbai and, as Arun says—To my muse, my whore, my beloved.

Of Growing Up..

Few days back, I had written about how there seems to be no goal left in my life as soon as we turn adults. And today, the always-so-so-good Brunch columnist Seema Goswami writes in her weekly Spectator ( full article is here)

She writes...

I think, to some extent, that’s the problem with growing up – or even, growing older. The prospect of new beginnings begins to fade with each year, becoming more and more remote with every decade that passes you by.

I don’t mean to suggest that adults – young, middle-aged or old – cannot start over. Yes, of course we can. But without the optimism of youth to back us up, we find it much harder to take that leap of faith. It takes a certain insouciance to press alt, control, delete on the keyboard of life and start afresh. And the older we grow the less willing we are to take that risk.

That’s not to say that people don’t indulge in some sort of course correction at some point in their lives. Sometimes it comes as part of a mid-life crisis, sometimes as a wake-up call after a health scare, and sometimes it is the result of sheer boredom with the life you have been leading so far.

But no matter what you hard you try to re-invent yourself as an adult, there is no denying the fact that the older you get the more difficult it is to rid yourself of the baggage of your past.

So so true.. she always writes about things that I can totally relate to... Sigh..