Of Disliking RHTDM, Disagreeing with 3 Idiots, and Loving Modern Family

You know what takes real strength? Showing affection.

The last week I again watched Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein. For some people, it is a cult movie (cult movie definition: a movie that flopped but some will still fight for it). I have never had a fascination with that movie. In fact, I did not like the film at all. The movie is a perfect example of terrible acting. Madhavan and his gang of friends consistently ham and deliver horrible performances. Of course, it was Madhavan's first hindi film, so expectedly, in a first film, an actor tries very hard to be natural but doesn't always work. But as usual I digress. I did not like the film because of bad acting! I have no problems with bad acting per se (after all I loved Sonam in I Hate Luv Storys). Dia Mirza and Saif weren't that bad. I had a problem with its concept. Consider the plot. Maddy falls in love (at first sight) with Reena. Later he finds out that Reena is supposed to meet Rajiv, her childhood friend to whom her parents are considering getting her married. Rajiv is planning to come to town to meet Reena but for some reason doesn't come. Maddy, who is actually spying and stalking Reena, gets to know of Rajeev's plans and impersonates him and meets Reena. He spends five days with her in the city, during which Reena eventually falls in love with Maddy, thinking of him as Rajiv. Of course, the real Rajiv turns up and Reena is shocked and heart broken by Maddy's lies. Rajiv and Maddy, infact, turn out to be old college rivals with a history of confrontation between them. Reena tries to forget Maddy by agreeing to marry Rajiv. Rajiv, just like Aman in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, senses the unhappiness in Reena and asks her whom she really loves. Sensing that Reena is still madly in love with Maddy, he lets go of her. 

My problem is with Maddy's character. What he did was so so wrong!! You are spying on a girl, literally stalking her, and have the guts to impersonate as her friend and spend time with her. And when the girl finds out, you threaten her by going to her office to tell her to fall in love with you! I mean think of it in real life..if you were an single woman living in a city like Delhi, and what if a guy does to you like this!! He could actually be jailed. And look at the guts of Maddy, he and his cohorts go and threaten Rajiv with dire consequences if he marries Reena. I mean, what is Rajiv's fault?!?! That he is Rajiv! Get a life you morons! 

Shruti, Reena's friend, tries to justify Maddy's act by saying to Reena, चाहे ही उसका रास्ता गलत हो, पर वो इंसान गलत नहीं है.. Reena counteracts that जब इंसान ही गलत हो, तोह फिर क्या सही और क्या गलत. उसने मेरे विशवास को तोडा है. He hurt me. 

The fact is Maddy started his relationship with Reena on lies, howsoever madly in love with her he may be. Yes, he even ate chicken by going against his religion just to show his love!!. Still, he was wrong. And instead of being apologetic, he is trying to get her through vengeance. He was a loser. Rajiv was actually the hero but they treated him as a villain. He let go of Reena..it was he understood that Reena will never be happy be with him..he let go of what could have been a perfect life if Maddy had not come into the picture..but alas! as they say, the winner is the one who gets the girl in the end. So so unfair. I hate Maddy :X Talking about stalking, I think Hindi films actually have scant respect for women's rights. Here the hero follows the girl until she says yes to him and this is so normal, that should we surprised that these roadside romeos stalking outside girls' colleges think themselves as 'heroes' and misbehave with them. But it is too naive to blame films for such things! Nevertheless, I loved the music of RHTDM. Zara Zara is so beautifully shot..and awesome lyrics..Dil Ko Tum Se Pyaar Hua :) 

Kho Gaya Main Khayalon Me

Ab Neend Nahin Aankhon Me

Karvate Bas Badalta Hoon

Ab Jaagta Hoon Main Raaton Me

Ab Doori Na Sehni Har Lamha Kehta Hai

Na Jaane Haal Mera Aisa Kyon Rehta Hai

The last week, A sent me an email that I should read this and give my opinion on this.

Rawls argues that even meritocracy-a distributive system that rewards effort-doesn’t go far enough in leveling the playing field because those who are naturally gifted will always get ahead. Furthermore, says Rawls, the naturally gifted can’t claim much credit because their success often depends on factors as arbitrary as birth order. 

I totally agree with this. I was immediately reminded of 3 Idiots. I hated that movie. Yes, I hated that movie. For some people, it is the best piece of cinema, a classic, masterpiece. I respect that opinion. It is subjective. I cannot watch that movie again. The film was preachy and morally sanctimonious as Aamir's films typically are. As Sagarika Ghose, brilliantly puts it "The system is always wrong in Aamir's film." I think that guy is a credit hogger, who steals people's ideas and claims them as his own. He is a LOSER.

Anyway, more on why I dislike Aamir Khan later. As I was saying about 3 Idiots, I think for me, the true winner in the movie was Chatur. As Rawls states that if you take into account only merit, then naturally gifted people have a distinct advantage over others who work only on hard work. Chatur was not born intelligent, but it was through his sheer handwork that he reached the top. Rancho, on the other hand, was a naturally gifted chap. He didn't study at all..used to be thrown out of classes but still managed to top the charts. So, how can you compare Rancho with Chatur? The film tries to portray that only naturally gifted people should pursue science. But what about others? A person who is not so intelligent, can't he do hard work to reach the top? I mean look at Chatur, that guy had the confidence and the panache to read a speech in a language, that he has never spoken, in front of the entire auditorium!! Importantly, agreed that Farhan (Madhavan), wanted to be a wildlife photographer, but the film did not portray what Raju (Sherman Joshi) wanted to be in life. He did not have an option because he was poor. He had to study engineering although he was not naturally gifted, he used to fail, but why did the movie not try to tell Raju to leave engineering? All these things that people say to leave your job and do something can only be done if you are rich! And people say to you to follow your heart. But I am sure not even half the people really know what they want to do in life. But for me, Chatur was actually the winner instead of Rancho! And if I simply hate this song, "Saari umar hum..mar mar ke ji liye, ek pal to ab humein jeene do jeene do". Who has stopped you from living your life? There will be thousands of poeple who will be glad to study in colleges you are studying! Anyway enough of my ranting against 3 Idiots. I still have one of the articles that exactly shared my view point. Here are some excerpts from it.

I almost rose up on my seat to acknowledge the bravery of the scriptwriters when Virus starts explaining the income levels. I was thinking, ok now it gets interesting because that’s exactly the point. To have the kind of confidence and devil may care attitude that Ryan, sorry Rancho is supposed to have, you have to be a rich brat in real life, who doesn’t have to worry about finding a job as soon as you get out. I had many such students in my own class, who could afford to question the system, some of them very bright and original thinkers like Rancho. But then the film killed the point again and again in the film.

First they killed it, when Rancho started topping the class again and again. He then became a superhero at that moment, not a normal human being anymore. The fact is, no matter, how brilliant a mind you got, how original thinker you are, you still had to slog to get grades. Granted, you could still top a subject or two. There were some subjects such as Machine Drawing that you either get or you don’t, no matter what your IQ level is. But topping every subject, without any effort, while you are having fun drinking alcohol on the rooftop? I am sorry but that just doesn’t happen. No, I am not saying that you have to be Chatur to top the class. The reality is, the people who top the class are all very smart students, way different from Chatur, but they also have to slog harder than everyone else. I can say that, because I was a good student and slogged my ass off, still couldn’t top the class. Those who did, slogged harder than me and were brighter than me. It was never only one thing; you had to have both- IQ and the ability to work hard. If the message was, you should not follow grades, but gain and apply knowledge, and develop a broader set of skills that are needed in the real world, then it got killed by showing Rancho getting the best of the grades, all the time.

My other issue with the plot was about following your heart. It’s easier said than done. Have you ever wondered what you knew and how aware of yourself you were at the age when you entered college? Did you have any clue what you wanted to do or what you liked to do at that age? I certainly didn’t and know that 95% of my class didn’t either. We probably had some idea about what would be cool but was that something we would love doing, we had no clue. In fact, there are very few people who are lucky enough to know what they want to do in life and even fewer who figure that out so early in their lives. To me, they are clearly Gods’ children. Even in the field of Sports or Show business which are full of stories of people who just followed their dreams, there are very few people like Sachin Tendulkar who knew at an early age what they wanted to do in life. Remember that dialog in the film Iqbal, where Naseer explains to the parents of Shreyas’s character, what a special thing it is to know what you want to do in life. That’s so true. I am in my late thirties and I still don’t know what makes me happy and what would have been an ideal thing or profession for me.

Read the complete article here. I agree with each and every point the author makes.

https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=416598433102 

The quote in the beginning:
You know what takes real strength? Showing affection.

This awesome quote is from Modern Family. I just watched an amazing episode of it and still thinking about. Season 2 Episode 2. Here is some context for it. Cam and Mitchell are two gay guys living together. Mitchell is very uncomfortable to show his love for Cam in public, so he avoids all PDA but Cam does not like this. He wants to feel loved and says that to Mitchell. Mitchell responds saying he's the one who stands up for the relationship, making speeches on airplanes or talking to his dad when he calls Cam a "friend." "That's different-that's confrontation," Cam says. "You know what takes real strength? Affection."

Awesome? ain't it. It takes real guts to show your affection in public. As @Notebook tweeted yesterday, A lot of guys are nice to girls when it's just them, but it takes a man to be nice to a girl when around all his friends. 

And continuing about Modern Family, that episode was so awesome..I love Gloria. She said that sometimes, people need something else-kisses, hugs! As I wrote in this post about Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu, everyone needs a hug ya..who doesn't? Haina?

She says: 

In Colombia, we kiss for everything, because a kiss can mean so many different things. It can be the start of something new, it can be how we say 'this is the person that I love', it can be romantic, it can also be worth waiting for.

And then Jay kissed his son for the first time since he was 12. Cam and Mitchell kissed. And Alex decided to wait to kiss her boyfriend for a perfect moment. It was handled so gracefully without any cheesy moments. No wonder, Modern Family has grabbed so many Emmys.

That's a father kissing the son BTW :)

I just watched Honey Moon Travels Pvt Ltd again. I love that movie :) I also want to do that salsa dance  that Abhay and Minissha do in pyaar ki kahani suno :(

Dialogue of the Day:

"Baal kaale nahi rahe to kya hua, dil abhi bhi kaala hai."- Nahid, Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.

The Voice...

You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisors. But in the end, the decision is always yours and yours alone. And when it's time to act and you're all alone with your back against the wall, the only voice that matters is the one in your head. The one telling you what you already knew. The one that's almost always right.

 - Meredith Grey

Of Tryst with Media...

Long time no see...

As last week, I had written about how much I loved the story by Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi. I had commented on their website that it was indeed a sort of coming to age when you learn to come to terms with loss. Voila! They printed it on the print edition this week. I know it is no big deal, 99% of the people don't even bother to read the comments page. It is a very stupid thing, nothing to brag about but still it made me happy :) Is bahane paper me naam to aya :) I like to do such silly things, brings me closer to the hidden journalist in me. And you won't believe..the next day, there was an earthquake in Delhi. I randomly posted a comment on NDTV's forum about it. I keep doing that on many other issues. And lo and behold! The comment was posted in their article! I mean two times in two days. I know again, it's no big deal but at least it made me feel as if I am famous, howsoever fickle it may be. My cousin called me from his office that is it you who wrote! Three people in office came and asked me whether I wrote it. So funny it is. Even someone who stays in Singapore wrote on my FB wall, whether it was I who is mentioned in the article. Hehe! So this post, I am dedicating to my tryst, howsoever shallow and wannabe types it may be, with media. 

The comment in HT that was printed.

This is screen grab of the NDTV thing. Original link:

http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/earthquake-in-north-india-strong-tremors-in-delhi-182693

This is when I won the NDTV Picture This weekly film contest. They gave the DVD of the movie 'A Single Man'.

And about two years ago, I met this fellow - Rajdeep Sardesai. I used to idolise him then, but not any more. His views on Twitter are so morally sanctimonious and pretentious and self congratulatory, that I totally agree with Kanchan Gupta who calls him St.Pontificate! Nevertheless, I have a picture with Rajdeep Sardesai!!

And with Suhasini Haidar, one of the best foreign policy journalists :)

And about 3-4 years back, there was this column in HT by Sushmita Bose, Single In The City. It was one of my favorite columns back then. Supercool it was..even in Wake Up Sid, the column that Konkona writes, New Girl In the City, was said to be inspired from it. When Sushmita left HT and moved to Dubai to work with the Khaleej Times, I sent her an email on her last column. And continuing with my above luck, it was printed too :)

Original link:

http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/LetterToEditor/To-Goodbye-and-Goodluck/Article1-334855.aspx

And this was the mail that Sushmita replied back :P

Dear Pankaj

thanks a ton for ur mail. sorry for the belated response -- but i was chilling in Lansdowne!! i felt very bad abt having to write my last column, but as they say, all good things come to an end! anyhow, hopefully i'll start blogging soon, and will keep u posted on that front. am probably leaving the country for a while (not to get married!), but will let u know exact details when everything's finalised. meanwhile, be in touch. 
best wishes

Dialogue of the day

"Jab insaan hi galat ho, toh phir kya sahi aur kya galat. Usne mere vishvaas ko toda hai. He hurt me."  - Rina, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Me

एक बात कहूँ...कुछ नहीं...

Hmm..Long time no see..

I am in absolute awe of Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi! I have been reading this book by him The Last Song of Dusk and last Sunday, HT Brunch carried the cover story on Shanghvi! What a big co-incidence, considering he ain't that famous as compared to other authors. Shanghvi wrote an essay on his stay in Matheran, where he chose to live alone, away from the hullabaloo of Mumbai. He writes about his way to deal with loss and failure..Oh! What a superb essay it is..candid, honest, moving, troubling..add other adjectives but the sheer pleasure of reading it gave me so much satisfaction. I have read something so beautiful after a really really long time.. Below are some of my favourite lines fom the essay..

Events need their invitation, writes James Salter in Light Years, dissolutions their start.

There are three chief reasons I decided to leave Bombay: the failure of aesthetic, the failure of conversation, the failure of love. 

Mostly, though, I decided to leave Bombay after something like a friendship, by which I mean a kind of indefinable love, failed. This was an equal, an ally of solitude, lonesome and shy, a familiar of novels, someone who sat hunched in cafés writing, strolled through small towns and their ancient temples, forever transformed by beauty witnessed and sensed as inextirpable truth. 

I became a student of literature, which is to say, a student of solitude. The fear of a lion alone was calmed by imagined lives and their choices, anxieties, failures, reprises. I felt literature had come into existence not to perform for critics but to lay bare the disquiet of fate, to parent us across the waves; it was the art of experience, collected and communed, before it was ever literary endeavor. 

Time, like a harmonium, stretched out, releasing note and melody. 

The hills made me see more with my eyes closed. 

I had come to Matheran chiefly to think about the nature of loss. People, over the years, had repeated to me trite truisms: Time heals all. You’ll get over it. All you need is closure. So I waited, I wrote, I photographed, I travelled, I took long walks. I watched obscure Iranian cinema, I cared for men around me who were dying, I sat on a bench on the seashore. In this way, time passed. But, after a few years of being unable to give up the ghost, it occurred to me I’d have to learn to live with the loss of my friend; it was to be permanent, unyielding, like a battle scar or birthmark. The idea that there was any closure, or healing, seemed repugnant, too easy to be true. What truth, after all, might be closed as easily as if it were only a door? 

Early in life we come to see it either as a tragedy or a comedy; great literature is a result of these choices. Speaking for myself, I veered to the tragic mode: there was consolation in the essential impermanence of things, a relief in knowing it would all come to end. The tragedy was not the end but a knowledge of the end foreshadowing all things. However, my brief time in Matheran makes me believe that life might not be as tragic as I had originally believed, but comic – possibly even a total and complete farce.

The complete essay is here..

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Brunch/Brunch-Stories/In-a-clear-darkness/Article1-816409.aspx

Siddharth has written two novels and said he doesn't plan to write more novels. I wish he would write more. As he says, he is driven to the tragic mode, his book, The Last Song of Dusk, similarly has an underlying tone of extreme melancholy and pathos. Somehow, I am also driven to the tragic mode. There is something that pushes me towards utter grimness. Not surprisingly, my blog was earlier called Inheritance of Loss (before I changed it to Dichotomy of Irony). 

Hmmm..so yesterday, a funny thing happened..I send a quote of the day to my friends from my old office everyday and also to M and J in office..so some people got to know that I send a quote to M and J only and why not to them..everyone literally pounded at me that why I don't send them the quote of the day :{ Ok, I told them I will send it to all of them. The world is a really small place. Wherever, you go you find some connections. M is very good friends with some of my batch mates from school and knows them really well. The entire team calls me Pankazzz, all because of her. So, yesterday, M was telling me the same thing which everyone else says..stop deprecating yourself. She threatened me that she will send a mail to the entire team to conduct a poll in the team whether Pankaj is the most adorable person in the team. I was so embarrassed that I had to literally beg her to not to do it :( I always think that people think of me as bhola-bhala, which means dumb, but I am not dumb :( I understand everything, I just don't say it.

Anyway, too much digression..and I have to thank D. Last week, he put this as his FB status.

This came as such a big surprise. I was actually embarrassed and also felt good at the same time. Thanks so much ya :) So I have told him to start his own blog and write something of his own as well. 

Ok..today on Sahara One, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was coming...and the eternal love for that movie made me stop everything I was doing and watch it all over again. Just watch this scene again ya :( What a scene..

I have so many things to write but I will write later...very busy the next week..so much work to do :(

Dialogue of the day:

कभी कभी इंसान कुछ न कह कर भी सब कुछ कह देता है - नंदिनी, हम दिल दे चुके सनम

Of 29 February...

Oh..it's leap year today..so I had to put a cursory post on it.

So today in office, J,N and I were discussing about leap year. So N told that on leap year, girls are allowed to propose to boys and boys cannot refuse that. Seriously? I had no idea about this tradition. How funny it is!

And today J said something to me about me. He is an awesome reader of people. I don't know ya. It's not my fault if I am that way. Somethings are not under your control haina?

And thank you. 29/02/2012.
Serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
And the wisdom to know the difference..

Dialogue of the Day:

"Arjun, tum ho to main hun..agar tumko kho dungi to apne aap ko kho dungi..please mujhe khone mat do." - Aisha, Aisha
 

Of Falling in Love Twice, Cult Lamhe, and Valentine's Day

Hmmm..Again, I have so many topics to write about. As usual, I have more proof of the cosmic connection theory. The last week I was talking to Y that I am going to write a post on her. As much as she denies it, she is in love with two guys simultaneously. I know it, but she just won't admit it. One is her ex, now her best friend, a super scientist, for whom she will travel 40 km alone from Amsterdam to his place, and the other is her other friend, an artist, whom she secretly loves and wishes would at least follow her on Twitter. Aah, what choices, no? Science or Art? Science and Art suit better :) If the scientist guy even calls her now, she would just leave everything and go after him. And the artist's friend, if only he would acknowledge her love. It's ok, Y. You never know..at least you can experience this feeling two times :) 

This reminds me of Phoebe, who faced this situation as well. Phoebe dates two guys: Vince, a fireman, and Jason, a sensitive teacher :) Well, Phoebe is Phoebe. Now, this set me all thinking. Can you fall in love with two people? Yes, absolutely. I personally think that humans are not programmed to be monogamous. Humans are designed to have multiple partners. Think about it. Look at the West and how marriage is entirely different from marriages here. And it is perfectly fine to fall for two people. It's just that you have to be honest about it. And as I have written before, you just can't stop loving anyone. If you stopped loving, it means you never loved. It is just that you need to fill that void if you want to move on. How beautifully Rani said in Hum Tum no (in this post). And as put by Rahul in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, "Hum ek baar jite hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai, aur pyar....ek hi baar hota hai." Only to contradict his own stand later on! If he loved only once, then why did he marry Anjali? If Tina was his only love, why did he fall for Anjali? Marrying Anjali did not mean he loved Tina any less; it was just that he fell for both Anjali and Tina. It's not wrong..it just happened that way.

As usual, I have seen so many references to this topic this entire week. Just today, I read this only in the newspaper!!

Also, in an article by Anupama Chopra on Anurag Kashyap and cult films that I came across, she says: Anurag is often described as a cult director but he said that he never intended to be one. He wanted to make box office hits but when his debut film Paanch didn't release, his second film Black Friday was delayed and his third film No Smoking soundly trashed by critics and audiences, he was given the cult moniker. Anurag and I debated the definition of a cult movie. The Oxford dictionary describes the cult film as one that has ‘an enduring appeal to a relatively small audience that should be non-mainstream.’ In his opinion, cult films are movies that failed to break even at the box office. People often confuse cult with dark films. Dev D can never be a cult film. Anurag said that a cult film is a film that inspires people to fight for it, ‘like fighting a war for a country.' Which movies would you fight for?

I will fight for so many movies. In fact, most of my favorite movies are cult. Some of them are Swades, Lakshya, Andaaz Apna Apna, Dil Chahta Hai, and many, many more. These films had minimal box office collections. The shocker is Andaaz Apna Apna, which bombed!! Seriously, I still can't believe that.  But the cult movie that I will always fight for is Lamhe. Oh! What a film! I still get misty-eyed whenever I think of this movie. Yash Chopra, in an interview, said that Lamhe is his best work and remains his favorite film.

I loved Lamhe like anything. It was a film that was so ahead of its time. Not surprisingly, it did not work at the box office. A young boy, Viren, falls in love with a much older woman, Pallavi. The woman marries her lover and dies, leaving behind a daughter named Pooja. Viren takes charge of Pooja's upbringing. Pooja grows up to resemble her mother to the T. Pooja falls in love with a much older Viren, who is constantly reminded of Pallavi when he sees Pooja. Unable to decide whether his feelings for Pooja are love for Pooja or for Pallavi, Viren undergoes an emotional churning. Lamhe is one of the most mature stories in Indian cinema, handling a sensitive topic with grace, subtlety, and poise (no comparisons with Nishabd, please!). Splendidly shot in the desert fields of Rajasthan, Lamhe had a fabulous performance by Sridevi, who was marvelous in both the mother-daughter roles. The melodious songs added to the film's charm. Morni bagah ma bole still remains a lesson for choreography and photography! Of course, think of it, if Viren had married Pallavi, there was a very high chance that Pooja would still have her mother's face, and harboring feelings for Pooja would have been deemed to be incestuous. But she was not his daughter, and he eventually fell in love with Pooja (not Pallavi). So, did he stop loving Pallavi then? No! He fell for two different women. So, don't feel guilty..one always has to move on haina?

But what about Anita? She waited for so many years for Viren to marry him. As usual, no one talks about her love or her sacrifice. What did she do wrong? Shouldn't Viren have told her before that he did not love her? As usual, there is no closure to her story. Remember Cuckold?

And I realized this about Lamhe: the cosmic connections theory came into the picture again this week! Falling in love with two people. Meanwhile, here is what one critic wrote about Lamhe:

"Lamhe begs us to understand that one can love in different ways, and for Viren the passion he has for Pallavi is his first real love of anything that dared to exist on its own terms, human or otherwise. Raised in very polite but stoic English society which has made him hopelessly sheltered, Viren is used to things and people being of the 'proper' sort. When he is confronted by Pallavi, he is entirely smitten by her exotic charms, her chaotic wildness, her absolute connection to the world in which she lives, a notion of which Viren knows nothing about. He is seduced and enchanted by this exotic figure, but her regard for him is that of a foreigner who has come to reacquaint himself with his roots. Many years later, the experience is echoed in Pooja's upbringing: lonely and isolated, she somehow manages to recall her mother's wondrous spirit, and then lays the memories of Viren's past squarely in front of him."

So, which movies will you fight for? I have many, many more, and I will write about them later.

And why oh why do these TV shows make so good episodes on Valentine's Day :( So, Grey's..this week, it was Valentine's Day and no surprises for guessing what the episode was about. So there is this 10-year-old boy who is in love with his classmate. So he gives her chocolates without realizing she is allergic to peanuts. She had a severe allergic reaction and had to be hospitalized. He was there (with his mother) the entire time and wouldn't let go of her. The doctors told him to go home, but he was adamant about what she would think if she found out he left without meeting her after the operation. So, Alex (awesome he is!) tells him to write a letter, which he wrote in the letter.

Dear Clementine,

I am really sorry you are sick, but I am not sorry you are my girl friend. It's the worst being alone on Valentine's Day, but I am thinking about you right now. I am thinking about holding hands with you and jumping on the trampoline together. I love you.

P.S. — I don't know who gave the lice, but I am just glad we both had it together. 

Love

Nico

This is so awesome, yeah. Lexie finally realizes that she should tell Mark that she loves him because you never know what happens to you. You might die and never get to tell like it happened with the couple in which the guy left a proposal in the locket, and he died later.

Oh Grey's, why do you have to be awesome always? I have been writing about love a lot. But it's my blog. I will write whatever I feel like, so I shouldn't think much about it.

I had a bad day in the office yesterday :( These managers expect everything to be done without telling. Sometimes, they say one thing, and sometimes the opposite thing. Never happy they are It's always a fault-finding. But then M said something to me that made me feel happy. And J told me not to take these things seriously..yeh sab hota rehta hai. And office me this weekend (today, that is), there was an off-site at Jim Corbett. I didn't feel like going because I don't like traveling by road :( Saturday jao and Sunday aajao..too hectic it would be..This is the thing about me. I want to travel around the world but don't like traveling :( Moreover, M and J were not going either. Theek hai. 

I still have so much to write about. I hope I will not forget about the topics and will try to write later on.

Dialogue of the Day:

"कहते है मिल जाये तुम्हे तुम्हारी मोहब्बत तो मान लो खुदा तुम पर मेहरबान हो गया, और अगर न मिले तो जान लो की खुदा तुम से एक जान हो गया." — Gulab Ji, Saawariya

P.S. — I will fight for Saawariya, too.

Of Judaai, Fighting, Rockstar, Can People Change, and Iktara..

Long time no see.I have so many things to write about..don't know whether I will manage to write about them  or not.

A few days back Raj Kanwar passed away. Raj's film Deewana marked the debut of Shah Rukh Khan. He was also the one who gave a chance to Priyanka Chopra and Lara Dutta to help them gain a foothold in the film industry through his film Andaaz. And of course, he also directed films, such as Laadla, Jaan, Dhai Akshr Prem Ke and Judaai. So this week all my thinking time has been devoted to Judaai. Oh I loved Judaai! Judaai was preposterously funny. You remember that girl who played Johny Lever's wife had only one same dialogue in the entire film 'Abba Dabba Jabba' which is now the stuff of legend. Paresh Rawal's constant habit of questioning people and Johny Lever's hilarious acting still has me rolling in laughter. But I digress as always.

Judaai had a ridiculous story. A rich woman falls in love with a married man and offers to buy him from his avaricious wife. Think of it in real life, would any man with even some self-respect accept this..he would throw both the women out. But what is Hindi cinema without ridiculous plots? And people like me love such ridiculous plots (Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi another case in point and have many many more to prove it!). Now, there is this scene in the movie where Raj (Anil Kapoor) asks Kajal (Sridevi) to put a teeka on him as he never leaves home without the teeka. Now Kajal has her hands full of mehendi so she asks Jahanvi (Urmila Matondkar) to do the honors. But her hands were full of mehendi as well, so seeing this Raj proceeds to leave without the teeka and says ek din teeka nahi lagaunga to kuch ho nahi jayega. Sensing the disappointment in Raj, Jahanvi puts a teeka on his head without spoiling her mehendi. And how she does that? By pressing her forehead onto his forehead so that the teeka (bindi to be more precise) on her forehead would leave an impression on his as well. He finally gets a teeka  and leaves. Wow! I loved that scene. How do film makers come up with them no? That scene clearly showed that when you really want to do something, you will find a way to do that, no matter what comes.

I couldn't find that scene on the Internet but below is the climax of the movie where Kajal finally realizes her foolishness and asks for forgiveness and asks Raj if she can put teeka on him one last time. I loved the climax. A pregnant Jahanvi leaves for the US and she says she was actually the bigger culprit who incited the greed in Kajal and she should pay for her sins as well. And like I was discussing with J, my neighbor in office, that you cannot force somebody to love you, Judaai showed it yet again. Incidentally, Judaai was the first film that got the Filmfare best scene award in 1998, I couldn't find which scene it is, I do hope it is the teeka one. 

Judaai was also the last film of Sridevi when she was pregnant with her daughter, who, co-incidentally was named Jahanvi as well. Well, Sridevi deserves a separate post - a super actress..loved her in Mr.India (just watch the song Hawa Hawaai and you'll become a fan) and Chaalbaaz. And I still haven't seen Sadma completely :(

Ok..the second thing. I got a reject (actually waitlist) from a university I had applied to. I was a bit taken aback and was upset over this. But you know I am fine with it. It's not the end of the world. I will fight it again. I know this is very unlike me, who gives up somewhat easily. But I have been getting some inner strength that I am not the one who gives up easily. I have fought my way in life till now and I will fight it again as well. Come what may, I am ready to take up the challenge again. Main peecha nahi chodunga. 

I read so many inspirational quotes, I put here those quotes because I agree with them. And will I give up so easily? Won't that make me a hypocrite? You do the best you can, hope for the best and keep fighting. I know I have a very difficult life ahead and I am prepared for it. It's fine..and as Sid says to Deepa in Dil Chahta Hai, haath me thaami mitti ko jitna pakadne ki koshish karoge, utna hi woh haath se nikal jayegi. The more desperate you are, the more disappointments you will face. And I am not desperate.  I am a fighter :)

And this week, Whitney Houston died. I am constantly listening to her song I will always love you. What lyrics ya. A break-up song. What lines these..

Bittersweet memories 

that is all I'm taking with me. 

So, goodbye. Please, don't cry. 

We both know I'm not what you, you need. 

And I will always love you. 

I will always love you.

And also this week, Adele won six Grammy awards for her album 21. Oh come on, she is just 21 and she gives the feeling that she has gone through so much in life. When I look at her, I get reminded of this brilliant line from Rockstar - toote hue dil se hi sangeet nikalta hai. Fits perfectly on Adele no?

And I am addicted to Modern Family! I have watched about 20 episodes of Season 1. And I love it. It is about 3 families in modern day America - a traditional American family (a husband, a wife and their three kids), a multicultural family (a 60-year old husband, his young Colombian wife and his stepson) and a different family (a gay couple and their adopted Vietnamese daughter). It is not a typical TV show but a mix of everything - comedy, drama, plots, and above all emotions. Each episode tries to say something about  life..not gyaan..but things you will be forced to think about. About how we are. I love it. And Manny is my favourite character. He is just 10 years old and can woo women like a 20-year old! He thinks his mother is unreasonable when he says he wants to go around out with his teacher. Haha! I love him..very smart he is. And there is another kid character - Alex. Very very smart. She tells her dumb brother that an iPod can be charged if he puts it in his mouth. Hehe. I absolutely love smart kids. I know kids should behave their age but smart kids are so much fun :)

There is this amazing line from Modern Family. It was about can people really change from the way they are? It said:-

Can people change? I don't know. People are who they are. Give or take...about fifteen percent. That's how much people can change if they really want to. Whether it's for themselves or the people they love, yeah, it's fifteen percent. But sometimes, that's enough.

I also agree that people can't change. It is very very difficult to mold yourself into a totally different person. What you are is a sum total of many things - your upbringing, your social conditioning, your experiences in life. It is very difficult to unlearn what you have learned all life and then relearn. Unlearning and then relearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. That is why kids learn easily! Ya, but as he says, 15% is the maximum people can change, and sometimes that's enough.

I still have about two-three more things more to write about but I will do that next time.

Dialogue(s) of the Day:

You are right Sid...mujhe hi kuch dikhai nahi deta — Wake Up Sid

Main to kisiki hoke yeh bhi na jaani, rut hai ye do pal ki ya rahegi sada — Iktara, Wake Up Sid

And, I love this pic.

Of Rahul in Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

I loved Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu. It's a nice, light, and breezy watch with a surprising climax. I had gone in with the expectation that I am going to watch an emotional romantic comedy but I was pleasantly surprised. The movie is like another Hollywood rom-com..so clean..But I digress..

The thing is I loved Rahul (Imran Khan's character). I think I will add him to the list of my favorite characters. He is humble, under-confident, doesn't take a stand when he should, lonely, reserved, self-deprecating, stiff, formal, and always waiting for validation from others. When his girlfriend dumped him, he says he probably wasn't good enough for her; instead of finding flaws in her, he admits to his own shortcomings. He was happy settling for silver though his father pushed him for gold. He wasn't good at anything but was simply an average guy. At one point Rianna (Kareena) says to him, "You’re perfectly average. Tum koi bhi cheez kam ya zyaada nahi karte.” And being average is not a bad thing at all. She goes on to add that all the guys she had dated, some were good in one thing and weird in other things, but he did everything in the optimum amount. So, she coined somewhat of an oxymoron "Perfectly Average". And he felt happy to hear it. I think we love those movie characters whom we can relate to it the most. I could so relate to him because I am so much like him. All the qualities I mentioned reminded me of myself. I am so average. At one point he says to Rianna, main 25 ka hun and roz subha uthta hun aur mujhe pata nahi mujhe kya karna hai. Then she says to him, tum duniya ke pehle insaan nahi ho jo fail hue ho..he says, apni family me pehla hun..and then she says so feel good about it, at least kisi cheez me to pehle ho. 

And Kareena!! She is terrific. Except for Vidya and Kareena, we have no credible mainstream actresses who give a solid performance in every film. Kareena has a striking screen presence and she communicates brilliantly with her eyes. Her character was more mature than Geet in Jab We Met, who was more childish. Rianna is much more experienced and has gone through more in life than Geet but still lives her life to the full. I loved it when she gave a camera to Imran and the way she pulled his ears and made fun of him. I don't blame Rahul for taking them as hints and falling for her. Rahul says, "maine apne dost se pyar kar liya aur tumne pyar se dosti" and "itna paas baithti ho aur bolti ho ki mujhe gala idea ho raha hai." 

I loved that scene when Rianna says to him "Do you want a hug?" Yes, everyone needs a hug ya. Who doesn't? :( This also reminded me of the time when I told you something. 

Again this movie is about an often talked about topic in this blog..one-sided love. Rahul again has no expectations from Rianna. He says, "Rianna roz mujhe kisi se milane ki koshish karti hai, but I still love her. And kabhi na kabhi main use convince kar hi lunga. Life is not perfect but I am happy."

I think Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu is one of the very few films that says it's ok being average, not everybody is a hero and that is why I loved the movie for its realism. Average guys are also good guys :) As some critics have said it is one of the finest coming-of-age films even better than Wake Up Sid. Finding life through love—an eternal promise that never seems to grow old. 

And I must add about references. At one point Ratna Pathak Shah says, do that hair transplant like Sarabhai..no prizes for guessing what this is is a reference to! And the story is somewhat adapted from Ross and Rachel in Friends. I also felt some inspiration from an episode in Dekh Bhai Dekh. Imran in an interview says that he likes to work with first-time directors because typically a first film is autobiographical..totally agree..a first film or book definitely is more of an autobiography. And as now we know Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu is directed by Shakun Batra..the same guy who acted as Pappu in the song Pappu Can't Dance Saala in Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na. Karan Johar is doing some great work by giving chances to new directors...this is the ninth director launched by Dharma Productions!

Dialogue of the Day:

Jo hua hai woh hota hai
Jo hona hai woh hona hai
Jo tere bus mein baatein hai
Unhe khamakhan kyun khona hai 

 —Kar Chalna Shuru Tu, Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

...

Serenity..accept..courage...change..wisdom..difference...Amen..

Of Winning And Modern Family...

We tell our kids it doesn't matter if they win or lose. But let's be honest. Winning feels pretty great. There's nothing like that golden moment in the sun. I think every parent wants that for their child. I think for ourselves, too. Sometimes we push too hard, and that leads to a lot of resentment and guilt. So how much is too much? Here's how I come out. Guilt fades...hardware lasts forever.

- Modern Family

I love Modern Family!!

No Post..

My keyboard and touch pad not working :( I am writing this using the on-screen keyboard. Will try to write a post soon..the next two weeks are going to be difficult :{ Will write the details soon...

Dialogue of the day:
Zindagi ke rashan mein.. gham ka quota zyada hai..
Black mein khareedenge.. khushi ka pitara re..

- Gun Gun Guna Re, Agneepath

P.S.- A lovely song..

Of Cosmic Theory, Heart-in-a-Box, and Terrible Days...

Long time no see as always..This week again my cosmic connection theory came into play! In the last post, I had written about how I think one should tell the person about their feelings for someone. Now, this week I finally finished reading 'First Day First Show' and there is a delightful essay on Rekha. In the chapter Rekha says:

I am in love with someone I haven't met. It is a perfect image in my mind. I have had much more than love, such intense feeling overflowing and coming out of each hair and cuticle in my body. If it hasn't been real, it has been so strong in my imagination.

Q: Is this person a fantasy?

A: He is totally oblivious to what I feel for him. He has always been and will always be. He has no clue of what I feel for him. It is true and this is a huge confession.

Q: So why don't you just tell him?

A: No man or woman can know how the other person feels. There is no rule, no book, you do the best you can and not expect anything in return.

And this immediately made me think of what I wrote in my post..not to expect anything in return!! Cosmic connections!

 

Rekha's story is just so tragic..from abusive childhood to two unsuccessful marriages to a lonely existence. She is still in love with Amitabh Bachchan. The chapter on Rekha is beautifully written. 

And the last week, I had a not-so-good day at office and was feeling a bit low. I came back and watched two back to back episodes of Grey's and I could not believe it..the theme of the two episodes was exactly what I was feeling at that time. So in one episode, Cristina was given the task of watching an actual-beating heart that's been placed in a box until it can be transported to its new recipient. Cristina was not very thrilled at babysitting a live heart-in-a-box until Richard informs her that the heart-in-a-box is the key to everything. When she finally understand the miracle of a living heart-in-a-box, she says, 

“When you take an organ out for transplant, what do you do? You put it on ice and run to place it in the recipient's body. And then wait and hope for this cold, dead heart to warm up and come back to life, right? But “she” has never stopped beating. Never stopped being warm. Never stopped living. It’s a friggin miracle, okay? You’re standing before a miracle. I look at an item in my list and look at heart-in-a-box, and if that surgery is half as cool as the heart-in-a-box, then it's not worth my time. She lets you know what’s most important to you. That’s what heart-in-a-box does.” 

As I had written in my post, that what I am doing with my life, I could immediately relate to what they showed by heart-in-a-box..find things that are important to you!

And in the very next episode, they talk about terrible days and ends with this quote:-

I had a terrible day, we say it all the time. A fight with the boss, the stomach flu, traffic. That's what we describe as terrible, when nothing terrible is happening. When the really terrible things happen, we start begging to God to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn't it. The flood in the kitchen, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage, coffee spilled on our clothes. Would it have helped, if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives?

It was seriously a lesson for me. I was thinking I had a terrible day but then when you realize how terrible things can actually be, we wish for the less terrible things. Cosmic connections!!

And here's a brilliant analysis of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Devdas:

Every prop in the movie echoes an emotion. Devdas' house, off-white and green, reflects sophistication. Paro lives in a glass room, which mirrors her delicate and fragile beauty. While Paro's colors are a happy pink and blue, her in-laws' house in shades of red, reflecting claustrophobia. Chandramukhi's kotha is a festive gold, reflecting her character as a prostitute with a heart of gold!

Wow! I always say that Hindi movies are far more intelligent than they are given credit for. I want to write such stuff :( Guess, you either have it in you or you don't..and I don't.. 

Anyways, it is high time to put life on track..to divert mind..

I have got two books..first is 'Handwriting of the Famous and the Infamous' by Sheila Lowe..the book contains tips for handwriting analysis...always wanted to read such a book..now have one more thing to analyse ;) and the second book is the one which I always wanted to read "The Last Song of Dusk" by Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi..finally bought it!! I have just read the first page where he has dedicated the book to some one called Padmini.He writes

To Padmini, who, in her waltz with Fate,

found her toes stepped on...

What a beautiful way to dedicate a book..so deep and so tragic..

Anyways, more later..

Dialogue of the Day:

इतने चेहरों में अपने चेहरे की पहचान.. ओह हो.. पहचान ओह हो.. 

बड़े बड़े नामों में अपना भी नामों निशान ओह हो.. 

जीने में फिर तोह क्या बात हो..दिन नया और नयी रात हो..

याई रे याई रे..जोर लगाके नाचे रे

- Rangeela

:-|

There are some days when I feel so low, so low that I feel what am I doing with my life...I have come to this world for a purpose and hope I find it soon...

Of Telling, Missing, Grey's, Hitchens, Atheism, and CAT Result...

Long time no see..I have so many things to write about but don't know where to begin..

The last week M told me that one of his friends was going through a very difficult phase. The problem was that that his friend liked somebody who was already committed to someone else, but still M's friend wanted to express her feelings to her special someone. M advised her not to go ahead with it because in the end, only she will end up disappointed, and things might get a bit weird, so ultimately whatever friendship is there will also be affected. When you know, there is no hope for the future, why to tell in the first place. I have always been a supporter of the opposite view that one should always tell the person you like him/her as telling things will prevent you from feeling any regret later on. But there is one pre-condition - if you are telling, you should never ever expect any reciprocal feelings. If you are strong enough that you can live by it, then I don't see any harm in telling. But if you think that you cannot face rejection, and start behaving as if your life depends on it, then you are better off not telling because in the end you will end up being hurt. But it always feel nice when someone tells you they love you. Like in that Friends episode, where Rachel tells Ross that she is still in love with him.

Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?

Rachel: Yeah, I don't care.

Rachel: Okay. Ross, you know what, there's something that that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong. Okay, I think I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. I'm still in love with you Ross.

Rachel: Oh God, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?

Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is…

Rachel: The thing is know, that you're married to Emily.

Ross: That is what the thing is.

Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?

Ross: No. No. No, I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's always great when someone tells you they love you.

Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. 

Ross: No thank you for..Thank you.

So, you think one should tell or not?

You know last week, A wrote a sweet mail to me and she wrote that there is no one to talk to now and she misses me. And D sent me a message saying "I might never have been as close as H and A, but I still wanna say that I miss you and it would be great if we ever work together again." And it was very sweet of R to send me this message on FB "My Dear Pankaj... I read your blog today after so so many many days... and some of ur posts just brought a tear to my eyes...! I could not be there on your last day at TSC... but I can just say that.. u ll alwayz find me around... if I can be of any help to you ever! God bless alwayz alwayz. Cheers!" And yesterday, S sent me an e-mail, "I missed you very much today. I was listening to To Zinda Ho Tum and Bin Tere. How much we both liked it…I miss making those aimless conversations with you." It always brings tears to my eyes when I read such touching messages ya..makes me feel so loved and so not alone..that someone is there. I think after I have left office, as D told me that your popularity has increased. But seriously, I have never thought of myself as a person can be missed..because I don't speak much..so mera hona na hona ek barabar hai..doesn't make a difference..but it is always always nice when people miss somebody..Thanks so much ya. I also miss them all. We will always be in touch :)

Continued with watching episode 7 on Grey's Anatomy (Season 8).. Teddy just did the most amazing thing for Christina..she taught her humility and how to work in a team by telling her to go back to the basics..You cannot be the best unless you learn to be humble..so she makes her perform surgeries which a first year resident can perform like Appendicitis or Angioplasty rather than giving her the toughest of cardio-thoracic surgeries. What a brilliant scene that is when she finally explained to Christina that she is done..she has learnt the importance of team work..She says,

"I want you to make a list of every surgery you have ever dreamed of performing. Shoot for the moon and I will try to get you some. Because we are done. You have graduated. This is your present. At the beginning of the year, you nearly killed Alex in that OR because you just had to get in there...you had to be the best. and you had to be first but today I saw a different surgeon..every bit as good..every bit as advanced you were willing work on a team..today you put the patient before yourself and that was who I wanted to see, so you're done. Make a list!"

I like Teddy a lot! Grey's is awesome..learnt so much about medical procedures from it..in the last episode, they performed a penile transplant! And they are trying to find a cure for diabetes and Alzheimer's Seriously, watching it makes me feel that being doctors is so cool..(which is not true in reality)..they actually do life changing work..amazing it is..above all, Grey's has taught me so much about life..to learn to live with loss...that humans are imperfect..that death is just a second away..that life can change in seconds..too good it is..

I have been reading about Christopher Hitchens, who died last month. As an atheist, he simply hates the idea of religion. Though many would disagree, but his contrarian views on religion as so sound that it is simply too difficult to dismiss them. He says,

"I suppose that one reason I have always detested religion is its sly tendency to insinuate the idea that the universe is designed with 'you' in mind or, even worse, that there is a divine plan into which one fits whether one knows it or not. This kind of modesty is too arrogant for me.”

"Why, if God was the creator of all things, were we supposed to "praise" him for what came naturally?"

"If Jesus could heal a blind person he happened to meet, then why not heal blindness?"

"The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather than sufficient factors, but we distrust anything that contradicts science or outrages reason."

Very true..how can we disagree with him no? But as he says, we distrust anything that contradicts reason!

And talking about athiesm, I remeber reading a terrific post on Amit Varma's blog on atheism. He says,

Some people think that atheism means believing that there is no God. This is a flawed perception. The primary meaning of atheism that most dictionaries will give you, though there are secondary meanings that have evolved from bad usage, is of “disbelief” in God or a deity. That means that atheists are not people who believe that there is no God, but people who do not believe that there is God. The difference is huge.

The conviction that there is no God is irrational because one cannot prove a negative. (How do you prove that something does not exist?) However, it is entirely rational to not believe in something whose existence has not been demonstrated. 

It is a common mistake to view belief in God as running along a continuum in which we have theists (who believe), agnostics (who are undecided) and atheists (who don’t believe). This is based on a misunderstanding of agnosticism, which doesn’t deal with belief at all, but with knowledge. The word ‘agnostic’ is a combination of the Greek α (without) and gnōsis (knowledge), and refers to a person who believes that the truth about something, in this case the existence of God, is unknowable. It has nothing to do with believing or not believing.

Indeed, it is possible to combine agnosticism with either theism or atheism. A believer may choose to believe in God while accepting that some things are fundamentally unknowable. An atheist may agree with that view. I see myself as both an atheist and an agnostic: an atheist because I do not believe in God, as His/Her/Its existence has not been proved; an agnostic because I believe that on this matter, we may never know the truth for sure.

The complete must read post is here. Seriously, people are so brilliant! How succinctly he has explained the difference between atheism and agnosticism.

And this week CAT result also came out...am so so happy for H and A :) I seriously hope they get through. I remember A saying to H "this is going to be our year." I seriously hope it is their year..they deserve the best in life. I did not give CAT..it's not my cup of tea ya..or as they say meri aukaat nahi hai..hehe but I feel sad for people who inspite of getting a brilliant percentile didn't get a call because they didn't have marks in 10th and 12th..so sad..ab bhai a student in Class 10 doesn't even know what MBA is..but there is so much competition..but maybe agar main thora sharp hota to mujhe atleast Class 10 and 12 ke mamle me itni fight nahi hoti because I scored 92.6% in Class 10 and 95.4% in Class 12 and 81.6% in engineering. :) Yes, I was a good student...Anyway, as I told H, thora ladkiyon se dimaag hata kar pad lete to IIM A bhi call de dedeta..anyway, wish them all the best :)

Phew..kaafi lambi post ho gayi..I still have so many things to write about..will save that for next post...

Dialogue of the day:

You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end. - Dr.Teddy Altman, Grey's Anatomy