Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Groom's Blush and The Color of Marriage :)


I was talking about the pictures I took at my cousin's wedding in Dehradun है ना? These are the ones that I loved (and clicked). So here it goes..

Aah..the way he is blushing..it was when everyone started singing 'हम तुम एक कमरे में बंद हो' :)


The serene one..


The side one..

 This one is a confused smile :)


 Again the blush :P this was probably when another leg pulling song was being sung..


And this is one of my absolute favourites.. all smiles :)

 And the 'आरती की थाली' ..

Another one..


 Again he is all smiles :)


Me also likes this :)


The flower close up..


 The side view..


The side view -2..


Another fav of mine :)


 Somewhat okayish..



 Red - the color that defines marriage - सिंदूर..


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Real Real Sad Post...

Hmmm..Long time no see.. What to say.. I was out of Delhi, had gone on an office outbound training program to Mukteshwar last weekend, therefore did not write anything..and what to write here, in any case, people think I write negative all the time, but the thing is my blog is more like a diary..how can one write positive if one doesn't feel like? Anyways, this is going to be a really really long crib post, so I advise you to not read further as it will make you depressed further! You remember the episode in Friends when Joey is in love with Rachel but he can't tell her that, so Phoebe in order to cheer him up brings supposedly 'the happiest dog in the world', but at the end it is the dog who ends up getting depressed! Same is with me, you will end up getting depressed, so don't blame me later.

You know I have been dealing with a lot of work issues in office that have completely damaged my self confidence. I already suffer from a lack of self esteem and the events of the last 3-4 months have further made a dent in my confidence as a person. I don’t know why it happens to me but somehow or the other I end making up a fool of myself in front of my boss. I don’t have a problem with him, he is a very nice person, the problem is me, myself. And I really can’t understand why it happens. I do my work so carefully so that there is no error but it is so embarrassing when your boss can find so many errors in the same file. It is depressing. And this problem has come up more in the last 3-4 months only. Earlier it wasn’t like this. It makes me feel mediocre. I was so good in school. And if I tell anyone that I scored 95.4% in my Class 12th board exams and topped my school (all sections – science + commerce!) with getting 99/100 in Economics, all will laugh at me in disbelief. And people tell me that they have a problem with my sentence structuring! In contrast, the final exam of Class 11, my English ma’am showed my paper to all English teachers in school and I was awarded the certificate for the highest marks in English in Class 11 – all sections combined. No, I am not the kind of person who brags about myself but it really makes me feel was all that a hogwash? Was it some banal childhood thing of the past? Was it all a lie? Even in college, I was a pretty decent student. Am I that bad? You know there are people who are actually quite dumb but they don’t know it. Say someone like Peter Keating in The Fountainhead. But there are also people are quite dumb and know that as well. Just like Ellsworth Toohey of The Fountainhead as Ayn Rand defines them as ‘a man who never could be, but know it’. And you know it is even more depressing one you see all your peers doing so well and going places. I also feel that I should achieve something in life, make a great career of myself, do something pioneering. But whenever I try to do this, it is like some evil thing that comes up again and I start having doubts about myself. I was having the same discussion with my friend and neighbour P (who is one of the very few persons I wish to be like in the future).He told that we people slogged 2 years of our life in Class 11 and 12, went to such great colleges and then end up at a place where our entire hard work is negated. Am I destined to be like Ellsworth Toohey?

And my mom made a comment yesterday about how average people have got ahead in life and how I am left behind all this. Isn’t that such a shameful feeling? And when there are very few options that you see a bleak future, that is even more depressing. I have become so quiet that the other day my sister and my mom had a fight with me about why I don’t talk to them.

And there are few problems going on at home, so I don’t feel like staying at home too. So whether it is office or home, I am just depressed and more depressed. I have not tweeted since two weeks though I do read all the tweets. I haven’t updated any Facebook statuses. In any case, how does it even matter, as if my opinion will change something? I am no celebrity that people look forward to my tweets and blogs. And in any case, whatever I write some people think I am just so negative so why do I spoil their timeline but a blog is a very personal space. Here I am allowed to do whatever I like..no? I haven’t watched any movie in more than 2 months! What is happening ya? Kuch bhi theek nahi ho raha mere saath..

I have so much more to write ya but I think I should stop here. I hope the next posts are some good ones. I think I will probably write about something about my not-so-good trip to Mukteshwar and about my observations with people’s behaviour and what I wish to be in life. Till then happy (really??) reading...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Of Cousin's Shaadi :-)

So it's been more than two weeks since I wrote something (except the birthday post)..sigh! Was very busy.. Last weekend I had to attend a cousin's marriage in Dehradun, and last week the weather in Delhi was not nice, so I just enjoyed it and did not do anything.

When I came from Dehradun, I had thought of many topics to write about, but the moroseness of modern life has almost made me forget what I had hoped to write. 

So let me write about the wedding. Considering my deep abhorrence for family functions and irritating family relatives, I knew what I was going to expect there in Dehradun, and as always these irritating people never seem to disappoint me. Look at the audacity that some of them were bitching about my mom even all the while knowing that I could hear each and every word of theirs. I wish I had relatives like Hansa of Khichdi. Hello-how-are-khana-kha-ke-jana-haan. And after doing aur-beta-kaise-ho-kya-kar-rahe-ho-kitna-package-hai routine with uncountable relatives, I just quietly moved to the corner away from all the hullabaloo in the guava orchard (ok..there was no guava orchard, but I love this title of the book by Kiran Desai, whose other book's name was my blog's first name inheritance-of-loss). Since I dislike relatives of my age group, as I don't enjoy talking to them, I was busy with my seven-year-old cousin. The thing about kids is that they are very natural; they say everything on their faces, and as we grow up, we tend to become artificial, keeping things to ourselves. However, as usual I felt so lost in parties and as usual I was just looking for things to eat to keep me busy. So I gulped down plate after plate of spring rolls and dahi bhalle.I can have these two things anytime anywhere..


Anyways, my primary motivation to go to the trip was wedding photography! and no not those video-vale bhaiya with lights in hand who always comes to capture you when you have a plate full of the all the available food there that makes you wonder what people will say about when they watch the video! And no my aim was also not not those going-on-the-stage-with-the-family-to-get-clicked-photographs, instead I wanted to click natural pictures of people. As my cousin (the elder brother of the cousin getting married) has an awesome SLR Nikon D60, I was game for the trip that I will click some amazing shots.

So one of the functions is in which the ghadoli is filled. This is the ceremony in which a sarvala (usually the groom's jija) and a sarvali (usually the groom's bhabhi) go to the temple to fill a ghada (an earthen pot). Before this, some ladies sing and dance and make fun on the groom by singing some folk songs :P Think of something on the lines of baari barsi khatan gaya si or check this two year old post where I tried to decipher the meaning of the song madhorama pencha from the movie Monsoon Wedding. This is the link. My massi (my cousin's mom) did not call a photographer for this event. Voila! So I was given the task of photography using the SLR :-) Aah you won't believe I clicked about 600 photographs in two hours!! of course not all were good, but some had some super shots..all natural poses (which I think is an oxymoron how can something natural be posed?) my best were pics of the arti ki thali and the groom's smiling side pose :-) I don't have those pics but will put them here as soon as I get them..but here's the bad luck! my cousin (the one who owns the camera) forgot the battery charger in Delhi only...grrrrrr.. my only reason of going there! I had thought of some shots that I would click in the wedding but alas, that was not meant to be..no camera..WTF..bleh! :-( 


So wedding day finally came and I had decided I will sit the entire night and attend the pheres as I believe that a true wedding is the phera ceremony..else if you take that out it is just a dinner! I like to sit the entire night in weddings and watch pheres..now you can do that only in a close relative's wedding no? And I love tradition, especially Indian customs (though these at times enter into the territory of blind faith and superstitions which I don't like, such as Kundalis)..As I was sitting during the beautiful phera ceremony, the panditji came to the topic of vachans..there are seven vachans, popularly called shartein (yes, these are different from the saat pheres) which the groom promises to the bride while the bride vows only one vachan.. how sexist is that ;-) I immediately thought of writing them, I can guarantee that groom won't even remember any of them if you ask him today ;P I missed out writing on the first but here are the rest 6 in brief (I can't write the entire gyaan which panditiji was saying in shhudh hindi)


Vachan 1: (I forgot to write)
Vachan 2: I promise to give food to you
Vachan 3: I promise to give you money (hehe)
Vachan 4: I promise to fulfill all your wishes
Vachan 5: I promise to inform you before any impending foreign visit (this used to happen in earlier times when the groom had to travel abroad and the wife stayed in the home)
Vachan 6: I promise to inform you of any charity I wish to undertake
Vachan 7: I promise that I will have no addiction-inducing substances in life (this led to roars of laughter from the audience..ya the groom and bride were drunk a day before :D)

Whereas the bride promises that I will fulfill all your wishes with my heart so that we can have a happy married life...

However, the most beautiful thing that I learnt was during the kanyadaan. The bride's father usually takes the bride's hand and hands it over to the groom, signifying that he has given his daughter to him. Yes, we all know that, but what we may not know is why the father offers the thumb. The panditji explained that a person's thumbprints are the only things that never change, even as one grows up. It is a mark of permanence; similarly, by offering the girl's thumb, the bride's father has permanently offered his daughter to the groom. This was interesting.
I have so much to write about the wedding, but I'll write more about it in other posts if I feel like it.

P.S. - There was this foreign kudi who was my uncle's friend and was the cynosure of all eyes in the ceremony. She was forced to do some Indian jhatkas and matkas. It was amusing when she danced to the dhol. Hehe, but she was pretty hot ;-P

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Of 24th Birthday!


I am 24 :( It sucks to be 24! and while discussing this with Jenny in cab, I told her that I do not like to celebrate birthdays. Firstly, because I don't like to be center of attention for anything. And secondly, I do not like myself as a person. And I had thought life would be some what different (perhaps better than what I have now) at 24, but the flaws in my personality are stopping me to reach that place both personally and professionally. And birthdays are a reminder that life is not turning out to be as I had planned. I am not proud of myself, what is there to celebrate.. and talking about birthdays, every second is a birthday..it is a gift that we are alive.. we could be dead in a second..so we should celebrate birthdays every day no?





But I was so touched by the gifts I got. I have never received so many gifts on my birthday. Thanks all..especially Jaspreet (who made this beautiful collage for me) and Aastha for organizing everything..and special thanks to Jenny, Arpita and Shivangi :) And when Jaspreet made this collage, I somewhat felt bad because I have never taken so much pain and effort for doing something like this for him and others :( I felt I didn't deserve this..



And this is the farewell note he had written for me and I haven't thanked him yet for this :(
Thanks for everything ya :)

This is the note...

Removed out of privacy concerns :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Of Forgotten Heroes - Sandra Samuel



I was thinking to write about how depressed I have been for the last week or so. And then I come across this article in the Open Magazine and I wonder how shallow my world is. I have nothing but sheer respect for Sandra Samuel -  the heroic nanny who saved Baby Moshe during the 26/11 Mumbai attacks. What she has done requires a great deal of mental strength without thinking anything about your own self. It is deeply moving and so disturbing that brings a lump to your throat. And she is so humble and modest about the whole thing. She says

"I have done exactly what anyone would have done,” she insists. “I am a very religious person, but when the time comes, faith has nothing to do with it. You just do what you have to do.” I tell her I think the terror would paralyse most. “The terror only grabs hold and keeps you from moving when you are thinking of yourself,” she says, “But I was terrified for Baby, not for myself, so when I heard him calling, my only thought was to get to him as fast as I could. Anyone would have done that. Most of us are braver than we think,” she adds, “We can all be heroes. It is important to know that. And, also, that miracles are happening all around us every day."


"I should have gone in again,” she insists, ignoring our insistence that she had done the exact right thing, a miraculous thing. “I should have tried to help Rabbi and Rivki. I should have checked to see how they are. What kind of person am I to have just run out?” We try to comfort Sandra with tea, with small hugs and shoulder caresses, but she will not have any of it. She does not want our comfort. She feels she does not deserve it.


I have been thinking a lot lately about this..what would I have done if I was in her place.. Would I have been brave enough to stop thinking of myself and ran to get Moshe? Would I have overcome the fear of the hidden terrorist? Would I have the guts to go back? I think not probably because am selfish, scared and a  coward..Would you have run inside? As someone truly said, the real test of ethics is when it's your ass on the line..



And when I see these pictures (and there are a lot others), I wipe many a tear from my eyes. Why do events like this happen? Why can't people live in peace..What was the fault of Moshe's parents? Doesn't it make your blood boil that some bastards in Pakistan meticulously planned this horrific act for months just to get some political leverage? What if someone killed their family like this? And add to the fact that we are probably never going to get those men because they are enjoying their life in safe havens and planning more conspiracies like this..it's sad, pathetic, depressing, hopeless...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Of Royal Wedding and Escapsism..


So did you the see Royal Wedding? I did not understand the pre-wedding hype about it but when I saw the clippings of the wedding on TV, I have to admit I was fascinated. I may be against monarchy but I am a huge fan of Classic English culture ever since I have read Jane Austen (one of my beloved authors - Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey) and the Bronte sisters (Charlotte for Jane Eyre and Emily for Wuthering Heights). English classic culture is extremely beautiful - I love it when they use the word 'countenance'! Anyways, an estimated 2 billion people watched the watching. It was as if it was some sort of fairy tale. A woman finally gets her Prince Charming after waiting for over eight years. How can anybody not be charmed by the stunning ceremony? And you know why people cried because it is something they never will be able to see in their own life. It is perhaps the stuff of dreams. We, especially Indians, are extremely escapist people. We all look forward to something larger than life that can help us escape the monotony and utter pathos of our lives. Can you explain the success of ridiculous films like Dabangg? Salman is perhaps the worst of Khan actors who can just sleepwalk through any role just because he plays himself in all his movies. But everyone wants to be a hero like Salman? Hindi cinema is largely escapist - look at the how much we love Karan Johar styled family dramas, those tear jerker love stories (KKHH) , those funny action movies (Race, Dhoom 3).. We like to believe in something larger than life. Perhaps that explains why Google made a royal wedding for google.in and not for google.com or google.pk! It reminds me of Dil to Pagal Hai? When Rahul is talking about his vision of Maya, he says that she has been waiting for her सपनो का राजकुमार!! 
It is the stuff of dreams! Gives us something to cheer about. And I love tradition. So extra points for that. 
And did you just see the hats? What hats?? I just wanted to go there and click picture of only hats. Each hat a different character. Stunning!!
And here's the quote of the day -
A possible explanation for all of us (Hindi film lovers) - "Why do I love Bollywood movies? To an Indian, that’s like asking why we love our mothers, we don’t have a choice. We were born of them." - Suketu Mehta

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Other Side of The Hedge

I had written in my previous post about the beautiful essay Machines and the Emotions, which we had read in Class 12. That made me revisit my Class 12th English book English With A Purpose. I remember when I asked my ma'am, Mrs. B. Puri asked, what her favorite chapter in the book was; she replied that it was The Other Side of the Hedge by E.M. Forster. However, that chapter was not in our course, as the CBSE had removed it. But I had read it then and was taken aback as to what is so good about it? Now I feel how naive I was then (it makes me feel old..6 years ago). And now, I also realize why the CBSE removed it from the course. It is too open-ended and deep that it may be too difficult for an average Class 12 student to comprehend its intricacies.
I have read that essay during the past week at least thrice (and will have to read it again and again) and finally have come to some understanding about the incredibly layered text. I can guarantee that if you read the essay for the first time, you will not fully understand what the author says. You must reread it to decipher the hidden references to understand what he is trying to convey. I found the essay like the brilliant film No Smoking by Anurag Kashyap. I can vouch that you will not understand that film if you watch it once; you have to watch it repeatedly, and even then, you will not be able to determine precisely what is happening in the film. It will entirely be your interpretation which might be totally different from someone else's. That is the power of a good movie which makes you want to watch it again and again, just like a good book that makes you revisit it repeatedly. The Other Side of the Hedge is like No Smoking. There are so many interpretations that your understanding of the events could differ entirely from mine, which could again differ from what the author wants to convey. However, this might lead to some criticism that might make it too difficult for readers to understand, just like it happened in the case of No Smoking. Even the critics panned that movie. There is only a niche audience for such texts, considering how big Chetan Bhagat star is in our country. So, getting back to the essay, everyone should read this essay at this hyperlink.

Here is my interpretation of the hedge:- 
The story is about modern-day life, that in this quest for advancement, we have forgotten to stop and appreciate the beauty around us. We are constantly running on a road that will take us to progress, but we are just going round and round, ultimately leading to nowhere. We are more concerned about materialistic pleasures that we have lost our inherent humanism in our lives. Like he says 

"At first, I thought I was going to be like my brother, whom I had had to leave by the roadside a year or two around the corner. He had wasted his breath on singing and his strength on helping others. And I had already dropped several things - indeed, the road behind was strewn with the things we all had dropped, and the white dust was settling down on them so that already they looked no better than stones." 

We have become so rigid in our thoughts that we do not like to accept an alternative viewpoint and believe that our view is the correct one, and we are always trying to show others down. 

"For us of the road do not admit in conversation that there is another side at all."

"We moved away from the boundary and then followed a path almost parallel to it, across the meadows. I found it difficult walking, for I was always trying to out-distance my companion, and there was no advantage in doing this if the place led nowhere. I had never kept step with anyone since I left my brother." 

And we do not realize that there is a more beautiful world around us, if only we could just look on the other side. 

"Even when the water was out of my eyes, I was still dazed, for I had never been in so large a space, nor seen such grass and sunshine. The blue sky was no longer a strip, and beneath it, the earth had risen grandly into hills - clean, bare buttresses, with beech trees in their folds and meadows and clear pools at their feet. But the hills were not high, and there was in the landscape a sense of human occupation - so that one might have called it a park, or garden if the words did not imply a certain triviality and constraint."

We could be happy doing something we really want to do in life if we stopped thinking about our competitors and chose not to participate in the rat race. Our biggest competition should be with us, not with others. Like he says 

"Some of them were singing, some talking, some engaged in gardening, hay-making, or other rudimentary industries. They all seemed happy, and I might have been happy too if I could have forgotten that the place led nowhere." 

"I was startled by a young man who came sprinting across our path, took a little fence in fine style, and went tearing over a ploughed field till he plunged into a lake, across which he began to swim. Here was true energy, and I exclaimed: 'A cross-country race! Where are the others?' 

'There are no others,' my companion replied; and, later on, when we passed some long grass from which came the voice of a girl singing exquisitely to herself, he said again: 'There are no others.' I was bewildered at the waste in production, and murmured to myself, what does it all mean?" 

The narrator is not convinced of his guide's views that competition should be with oneself instead of others. He says this to prove his point, "It is the thought of that that makes us strive to excel, each in his own way, and gives us an impetus which is lacking with you. Now that man who passed us - it's true that he ran well, and jumped well, and swam well, but we have men who can run better, and men who can jump better, and who can swim better." 

Forster uses another reference to the Greek mythology of ivory and horns. From what I found on the Internet, the two gates allude to the Odyssey, an epic that speaks of dreams that pass through gates of ivory and horn. In Greek, the terms' ivory' and 'horn' are a play on words: the horn is a metaphor for fulfilling; the same is true of ivory and deception. These come into play when the guide is explaining the two gates. 

"Over the bridge was a big gate, as white as ivory, which was fitted into a gap in the boundary hedge. The gate opened outwards, and I exclaimed in amazement, for from it ran a road, just such a road as I had left, dusty under foot, with brown crackling hedges on either side as far as the eye could reach. 

'That's my road!' I cried. He shut the gate and said: 'But not your part of the road. It is through this gate that humanity went out countless ages ago, when it was first seized with the desire to walk." 

And about the second gate, he says, "At last we came to a place where the encircling moat was spanned by another bridge, and where another gate interrupted the line of the boundary hedge. It was different from the first gate; for it was half transparent like horn, and opened inwards. But through it, in the waning light, I saw again just such a road as I had left - monotonous, dusty, with brown crackling hedges on either side, as far as the eye could reach. This is where your road ends, and through this gate humanity, all that is left of it, will come into us." 

I think Forster is probably referring to the ivory gate as it opens outwards, symbolizing that we humans are looking at outwardly materialistic pleasures. We are, in a way living in a bubble of deception that we could be happy through these. Humanity has lost its way. Only we come inside through the second gate and look for inner happiness (as the horn gate opens inwards) then only we can be happy. 

It is such a beautiful chapter that I am still trying to figure out the significance of the stopped pedometer, the drink at the end, the lost brother, and the scythe (communism, perhaps?!). 

However, another interpretation of the chapter that I found on the net shows the story as the transition from life to death, where the hedge represents purgatory. Although some believe that this is in contrast to Forster's religious writing, it might be true as well. 

This is what they say in this regard. 

"The Other Side of the Hedge serves as a metaphor for life, death, and afterlife. Within the story, Forester has hidden many references – both religious and philosophical – to the world as an average reader would perceive it. The road becomes life itself; milestones mark passage of time and achievement while pedometers serve to measure experience. However, the road is also a folly of construction. It was created by humankind to give meaning to their existence and direction to their false lives. The walkers pretend the other side of the hedge does not exist, for its presence will cast doubt on the truth of their existence. 

During the narrator's stay on the road (which serves as a reference to life on earth) he leaves behind his brother. The possibilities for this figure are many; "Brother" could be an all-encompassing term for mankind, or it could reflect a reader's own paradigms, referencing a male figure with sibling relationship to the narrator. This second has more likely feel to it; the entirety of humanity could not be accurately represented by a single individual. 

The narrator, when the audience first encounters him, is seated on a milestone; he is stopped, watching others pass by as they jeer at him for having fallen short on the road. When there are no longer people around, he takes himself through the hedge, finding it to be "not as thick as usual." This is where there are several diverging opinions. Several critics hold that the narrator simply dies. Others claim that because he crawls through the hedge on his own, he is committing suicide. Following the second theory fits in with the description the narrator offers of how he is feeling: "In my weak, morbid state…I yielded to the temptation." Before he even considers entering, he first checks to make sure no one is around to see; there is a shame to his actions. He enters the hedge, going through the thinner portion only to fall out the other side into cold water. 

Through life, both in the "real" world and in mythology, water is a symbol of birth and rebirth: when creatures are born into the world, they come through embryonic fluid; when Hindus and Buddhists hold funerals, they utilize water as a symbol of passing on; Christianity links water to baptism, as a public declaration of faith; in Islam water is a symbol of total purification, as it is in Judaism as well; and in Greek mythology, the dead cross a river to reach the afterlife. 

The narrator is fished out of the water – presumably purified – by someone from the opposite bank. Before he comes out, he is said to have heard someone exclaim "Another!" which presents the idea that he is not the only walker of the road to enter this paradise by way of the hedge. The narrator, once helped from the water, immediately questions his rescuer: "'Where does this place lead to?'" to which the other replies," 'Nowhere, thank the Lord." 

Overwhelmed by the vast scale of this space on the other side of the hedge, the narrator gives in to his rescuer, and allows the tour guide to lead him away from the water, arguing the merits of the road. The tour guide seems to have heard all the protests before; it is quite obvious that this man is no stranger to denial. Forcibly, the tour guide leads the narrator through this trapped paradise. 

The aimless participation of others within the sphere of the park irks the narrator as he is led by a cross-country race staring a single participant and a girl singing for no audience. He is bewildered by the lack of motivation for a goal; as he follows the tour guide, he argues continually about the superiority of the men of the road. The tour guide, however, has his own views on what to show. He takes the narrator to a set of gates, promising to let the narrator go after they have been to the gates. The first set of gates are made of ivory, and lead out towards the road; this the tour guide names as the portion of the road through which "'humanity went out countless ages ago when it was first seized with the desire to walk.'" The second gate which the narrator and tour guide visit is built of horn. The two gates are an allusion to the Odyssey, an epic that speaks of dreams that pass through gates of ivory and horn. In Greek, the terms' ivory' and 'horn' are a play on words: horn and fulfill in English are the same word in Greek. The same is true of ivory and deception. 

If the gate of ivory led out to the road, then the road is symbolic of self-delusion. Leaving paradise for the road is reminiscent of Adam and Eve's banishment from Eden after eating from the Tree of Knowledge. Following the Christian trend, humanity's return through the gates of ivory should symbolize Judgment Day and the return of truth to the human race. 

The hedge itself is also related to the gates. When the narrator comes through, he notes that there are dog-roses and Traveler's Joy on the park side of the hedge. Traveler's Joy is also known as Old-Man's-Beard, and in the language of flowers is a symbol of artifice. Following the gates, coming in through the hedge would pass through the self-delusion. Then the water's purification would create the perfect environment within the enclosed paradise."

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Of Callie :(


Callie :( I love you Callie..Please please don't.. When Meredith says, yesterday I was at Callie's baby shower and was jealous of her..she got pregnant without any effort.. and I am doing all sorts of thing to get pregnant and today she has to go through this..Why is it that it happens like this? Is there an explanation for all this :(
Season 7 Episode 17 :(
And what an Episode 18!!

Will write more later :(

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Of English, Emotions and Criticism...

Hmmm.. So I had my half yearly appraisal discussion this week.. It was on the expected lines.. Nothing great  to talk about..some things really screwed up but I knew it before hand what it is going to be like after all I know what kind of work I do :(
Anyways, during the discussion I received criticism in the form of a compliment..Seriously some people have exceptional people management skills on how to impart criticism to someone without antagonizing the one who is being critically evaluated..
Now, I am in a job that requires preparing reports with formal business language. But since we have all grown up and taught from school to be as elaborate as possible, unlearning that can be quite a difficult task (as in we have to avoid the use of 'have' as much as possible while writing). So, my manager told me, "You have a very literature style of writing probably because you are from an academic background or perhaps you were very good at English in school. But you need to change that." I felt so happy at least some praise during the not-so-good-discussion. And not because I am good at English (still make so many mistakes) but because I love the language English. My favorite subjects in school were English, Chemistry and Social Science! 
So, when I reached home I went back to my old answer sheets (have all from Class 9 -12). So I checked my pre-board Class 12 English paper and read through the paper. That reminded me of one of my favorite chapters in Class 12 English  book Machines and Emotions by Betrand Russell. Almost all my friends hated that chapter but I totally loved it, although certain points he made I clearly did not agree with but it was a beautiful essay that talked about how the mundane modem life like a machine is leading to a lack of spontaneity in our lives, leading to bottled up emotions, in which the thought of war appears to be an outlet for our emotions. And seeing the events of the past few years/days, especially after 26/11 in which there was talk of carpet bombing Pakistan, and now the Anna Hazare movement in which we want everything to be done immediately as Barkha Dutt writes "Maggi noodles type of justice", I believe in some of his points. Although some say that machines like playing consoles provide us an outlet for our violent side, I somehow have to agree with what Russell says that machines do starve our emotions. And when he talks about the role of press, it is as if almost his prophecy is coming true for India. The media wants us to have a war with Pakistan without understanding the huge consequences of a war! He says


The impulse to war has always existed since men took to living in societies, but it did not, in the past, have the same intensity or virulence as it has in our day. The greater ferocity of modern war is attributable to machines, which operate in three different ways. First, they make it possible to have larger armies. Secondly, they facilitate a cheap press, which flourishes by appealing to men’s baser passions. Thirdly, and this is the point that concerns us, they starve the anarchic, spontaneous side of human nature, which works underground, producing an obscure discontent, to which the thought of war appeals as affording possible relief.

Another interesting/controversial point that Russell makes is that instead of being rich, it is perhaps the desire to be respected that makes the people want to become rich. He says

In every big city, whether of Europe or of America, houses in some districts are more expensive than equally good houses in other districts, merely because they are more fashionable. One of the most powerful of all our passions is the desire to be admired and respected. As things stand, admiration and respect are given to the man who seems to be rich. This is the chief reason why people wish to be rich. The actual goods purchased by their money play quite a secondary part. Take, for example, a millionaire who cannot tell one picture from another, but has acquired a gallery of old masters by the help of experts. The only pleasure he derives from his pictures is the thought that others know how much they have cost; he would derive more direct enjoyment from Christmas cards, but he would not obtain the same satisfaction for his vanity.

In case, you want to read the full essay, go back to Class 12 book :) or read it as this link.

I mean what he wrote in early 1930-40s is coming true for us!! So true!

See here the following pic from the answer I wrote in Class 12 Pre-Board Exam. And don't miss the V Good at the end. My handwriting is childish, though everyone says it is very nice :) I can write better than this now, it is funny how our handwriting changes with time, although my ma'am loved my handwriting. She even to the extent of saying that it like a string of pearls :) Love you Ma'am :)
P.S- This is not a post about praising myself. I am not the kind of person who shows off.  I know how behind I have been left, this just reminds me of the good old days :(


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Of Why I will not join Anna Hazare..

I am amazed at the hysteria created last week over Anna Hazaare! I do not doubt his good intentions but I am not in favor of the Lok Pal bill suggested by him. Agreed that the government's Lok Pal is toothless but neither is Anna's version. A flawed bill cannot replace another flawed bill. Sorry! but what he is suggesting is totally ridiculous and suggests of naivete. I am no law expert but what ever I have read about the bill shows that bill is totally undemocratic. Do you actually think creating a Lok Pal will actually remove corruption from our society? We have had Lok Ayukts for a long time but clearly they have completely failed. Just look at Karnataka! How Lok Ayukta Santosh Hegde was arm twisted by the government there forcing him to resign. Creating a Lok Pal will not anyway remove corruption from society!! And who will this Lok Pal be? In a country where the Supreme Court judges are accused of corruption how can we find this person to represent that? Moreover, concentrating power in hands of a single individual is totally against our Constitution. The same person who investigates will have the power to punish as well. Is this fair? Our constitution clearly separates power of the judiciary, legislature and the executive. How can this Lok Pal be given the role of judiciary? And they the Lok Pal could have members from Indian origin or Magsaysay award winners? Is our country that flawed that we can not find representatives from our selves? and who gives the power to these civil activists to force their law upon us? If they have so much problem with politicians, why can't the fight elections to become actual representatives? Why do we then criticize Sonia Gandhi's National Advisory Council. Giving legislative powers to NGOs who are not accountable to any body is preposterous!! Such a law requires debate an discussion and to blackmail the government to pass the law immediately is undermining the very idea of our democracy. What we need is an Accountability Commission and transparency and not a Lok Pal.  

But the thing that was most disturbing was that people took politician bashing as a fashion statement. Liking on Facebook, putting a link of him, joining the bandwagon was as some one suggested sort of Peepli Live media circus. The same people who fake their HRA slips, medical bills???  How many of the people do actually know the provisions of the what Anna is arguing for? Just that everyone is doing it, so should I is a dangerous precedent. Just look at what happened at Anupam Kher's house. India may have a flawed democracy but it ain't that flawed that out of 1.2 billion people I cannot find one honest representative. And Chetan Bhagat started a campaign called as Mera Neta Chor Hai..sorry Mr. Bhagat, if your Neta is flawed then stop electing him and if you say there is no alternative then why do ask Maoists and Hurriyat to join our electoral process..Let them continue what they are asking..I am putting some paragraphs of what I have gathered on against the bill below.. And does any one remember that Irom Sharmila has been on hunger strike for the last 10 years!! Tragic..

This is what Tavleen Singh wrote

If they had bothered to read the draft that Hazare’s Leftist advisors have drawn up, they would have noticed that its worst flaw is that it is anti-democratic in the most frightening way. It is not an ombudsman that it seeks to create but a despot with the powers to investigate, judge and punish anyone he suspects of corrupt practices. So if some NGO type of Leftist persuasion were to decide that his local MP was spending his constituency allowance on a project that did not benefit ‘the masses’, he (or she) could complain to his local Lokayukta and organise a raid on the MP’s property and order his arrest if he decides that public funds are being misused. It is not just officials but private citizens who will be under the Lokpal’s purview.
This is the way of totalitarian countries like China. It is not India’s way but you would not know it if you had been watching our news channels last week. One famous TV anchor became a sort of Lokpal himself by haranguing a Congress Party spokesman on behalf of ‘the people of India.’ 


Nitin Pai

How can we have Reforms 2.0 if “those politicians” are unwilling to implement them? The answer is simple: by voting. Economic reforms are not on anyone’s political agenda because those who are most likely to benefit from them do not vote, and do not vote strategically. At this point, it is usual to hear loud protests about how voting doesn’t work, most often by those who do not vote. This flies in the face of empirical evidence—when hundreds of millions of people turn up to vote. If it were not working for them, why would they be voting? They might not be demanding Reform 2.0, but something else, and are getting what they want. Instead of ephemeral displays of outrage—what happened to those post 26/11 candle-light vigils?—it is engagement in the electoral process that is necessary. There are some innovative ideas—like that of voters associations—that can be attempted.

Business Standard


It is tragic that an assortment of non-accountable activists, publicity-seeking busybodies and an assortment of do-gooders have all managed to push the gentle Mr Hazare into going on a fast unto death. No government in a democracy can approve of such blackmail. Merely because Mahatma Gandhi used a fast unto death as a means of exerting pressure on an alien, colonial government does not mean that in a democracy such tactics can be tolerated, much less eulogised. The situation in which the government finds itself is partly of the ruling party’s own making. By elevating the status of non-government organisations (NGOs) that are not accountable to anyone, and by not activating its own cadres on development and other issues of public concern, the Congress party has given a larger-than-life role to NGO leaders. Nothing should be done, even in the name of fighting corruption, that can weaken the Indian state and the office of the head of government, who is the embodiment of national sovereignty and answerable only to Parliament. If necessary, Mr Hazare should be force-fed and hospitalised, but not allowed to browbeat an elected government of the people.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

02 April, 2011 - A Part of History



02 April, 2011.. India wins the World Cup!! In case, you are living on some other planet, you would have known by now that India has won the Cricket World Cup 2011!! The first host country to win the Cup at its home soil.

Thank you Indian cricket team for what you have given us. Nothing can ever match the sense of jubilation that you have provided us. In a country scarred  by the plethora of scams that keep cropping up every third day, that has led to question the very foundations of our idea of India, you have provided us a new hope.. a new dawn that yes we can..and yes we did! You have instilled in us the feeling once again that there is no substitute for hard work..that dreams come true..The final six you hit, Sir MS Dhoni, the hopes of 1.2 billion Indians rose with that six hoping that all their prayers will be answered..and it did.. God does exist and probably that is why he answered our prayers..Thank you for making us a part of history..Cricket is perhaps the only unifying factor in a country as diverse as India..we all are always looking for heroes so that they can rescue us when we are down..Thank you for being our heroes..Look at fate's supreme irony. The so-called paper tigers who threw out innocent Biharis in the name of pride couldn't have been more shamed..As one message said,  a captain born in Jharkhand lifting the cup in the very city whose thugs threw them out. And the entire team dedicating the cup for a Maharashtrian.. It is a tight slap on those who try to divide us..Thank you for everything..the calendar years of 1983 and 2011 are same.. seems God had already plans for us.. It rained in Delhi last night when you won, an ominous sign that perhaps Gods are crying with us as well..Will love you always! ! खुद ही को कर बुलंद इतना के खुदा बन्दे से खुद पूछे तेरी रजा क्या है ...

I never cry after these matches but yesterday was different. And I guess there was no dry eye yesterday..Especially after Yuvraj, Dhoni, Harbhajan and Sachin crying like anything, the whole country cried with them. I don't know but there is something terribly comforting on seeing grown men cry. Crying is one emotion that humanizes us all and to see such testosterone-loaded men in tears, gives a feeling of catharsis instead of weakness..









And Sachin.. there couldn't have been a perfect swan song than this for him..Virat Kohli excellently summed it up when he said "Sachin has been carrying the country's burden for the last 21 years, the least we could was to carry him on our shoulders". Sachin, an epitome of grace, dignity and human spirit, this world cup is for you.. Thank you for everything..You will always always be there in our hearts as someone who taught us how to live our lives..people say you are the world's greatest batsman but Sachin, in addition to all that, you are the world's best human being..We have learnt human principles from you..from strength, hard work, conduct, craft, ability, sportsmanship to character..you taught us all.. you taught us that dreams do come true.. you are our teacher, our idol, an ideal...Thank you!



And Gary Kirsten..a special thanks to you as well for being the silent understated worker who crafted this for us, continuously working from behind the scenes..

To sum it all, there is a game that says to write the words you love..and yesterday and forever, for all of us it will be INDIA...

P.S. If you find any more crying photos, please send me