Birthday Post—Age 37

It is time for my annual birthday post. I just went through all the old birthday posts on the blog and realized that I have written a post on my birthday since 2009. My god, that is fifteen years. Some older posts made me cringe, just as Geet from Jab We Met had said, "Kitni paagal thi main." But it has shown the growth in me. So, there is no point deleting those. I deleted birthday details from Facebook and Twitter, so only not many people remembered it. Only a few close friends and family members wished me. It is fine; I don't really care much about birthdays anymore. I did not even realize till last week that it is coming soon. My father says a birthday is also a reminder of being one year closer to mortality. I did nothing much except eat some nice food. I got a nice present from S. And I bought a shirt for myself. I am trying to dress well because how you present yourself matters. 

Gift from S

As I wrote earlier, I am sad because things are not working for me. But I don't want to write the same thing again today. I will figure things out gradually. No one is coming to save you, so you are your own best friend. One thing I do not do anymore, which I used to do till a few years ago, is to portray myself as a victim of circumstances. We all have to deal with the cards that we are dealt with. It's called life. Everyone is dealing with their luck, their choices, and their actions—all three of which define our lives.

I have not written much these days, but I have to finish my favorite moments from 2023 films even though it is six months into the new year. When I think of 2023 films, I think of the climactic moments of Ponniyin Selvan: II between Nandini and Aditha—a stunning portrayal of love and sacrifice. Or the lovely moment between Dilton and Reggie in The Archies, where Reggie tells Dilton that he knows his feelings for him and will not tell anyone because it is his story. Or that moment from Satya Prem Ki Katha where Sattu's mother advises that if you cannot help someone in pain, at least don't make it worse. And many more about which I should write soon. Also, Shah Rukh might have had three blockbusters last year, but honestly, I will not watch any of those films again. They are not for me. 

I also got messages from three-four friends to write about Heeramandi. They all loved it. I started watching it and will take time to finish and write about it. But in one of the early episodes, there is a moment when Alam writes poetry in her diary resting on Tajdar's heart. And then he writes back on her heart. It is a tiny little moment but so beautiful in its conception. I think I will try to write about these lines of beauty. Meanwhile, I just finished Laapataa Ladies, which is lovely and made me tear up a bit in the final moments when Manju Mai eats kalakand. I am finishing the post about it soon. 

Anyway, I hope to gain the clarity to move ahead in life. Ask, believe, receive. Nam myoho renge kyo. Jagmag jot hot ujiyaara, gagan sot par chandr nihaara.