Vacuum...

I don't really know that should I be putting up this post or not? I am a very very private person and do not like to share my personal life to everyone..I had thought of making this blog private or start a new one where I would only write about my crappy life but I am too lazy to start a new one :/ so what the hell I will write whatever I feel and let anyone think of whatever they want to say about me..

Ever since college has ended, I don't know things have changed.. earlier I did not feel that my college has ended and I felt like that it was another semester break but about a month has passed and slowly I am coming to terms to reality :(

Almost everyone I know has left Delhi or is leaving soon in search of better avenues.. Calcutta, Mumbai, Pune, Hyderabad, US, Europe and I feel totally left out..my job starts in October in Noida and till then I am as people say vella :(

Seeing friends leave and you sitting at home gives a very very terrible feeling.. on my chat list, earlier I used to see everyone online but these days hardly one or two people come online..but they are busy and whenever I buzz them they say 'ttyl' talk to you later :( I know they are busy.. theek hai I won't ping anyone..they have more important things to do in life..

I had also made so many plans but one by one everything is flopping :( I had wanted to learn Spanish or German but there are no good institutes or the course timings don't suit.. I don't want to leran French..it is a good language but everyone learns French.. I wanted to do art appreciation at the National Museum but admissions closed in May :(

I wanted to do social work and had applied to a lot of NGOs but none of them replied but today only I got slected in an organization called CURE which works to prevent ragging..its office is in Gurgaon..so from tomorrow i would join them..I just hope that I am able to do the work they give me :(

I still haven't joined the test series and don't feel like doing the same thing again with my kind of brainsI know what would be the result this time also..

You know I had planned to write abook also during this time (don'tlaugh)..I have thought a lot about it and a lot of ideas have come to me but the problem is am not able to execute the ideas properly.. I started writing and wrote a page and then cut it..I hope kuch ho.. I will write something good someday *hopefully*

I also wanted to do some film apprecaiton and critic courses also.. I saw this on the site on Venky but blody they haven't updated their courses since 2006..which age are the living in? Do you know any places for this?

I don't know.. I am just feeling a vacuum.. a void in my life.. I am not carefree these days.. the situation being made worse by the extreme heat and no rains..frequent powercuts..low voltage.. a torture this weather.. it is just like Revolutionary Road..I could relate to the hopeless emptiness that April feels..

Oh! I have never written such a post before (according to my standards)..

I hate change but what can we do...the only thing constant in this world is change.. life goes on.the show must go on... theek hai koi baat nahi..ab kya karen..some people are born like this to foreever crib.. haath to aya muh na laga :(

Stop this crap..