Of First Loves...

The regret that comes from letting something amazing pass you by...

"Looking back, it's easy to see when a mistake has been made, to regret a choice that seemed like a decent idea at the time, but if we used our best judgment and listened to our hearts, we are more likely to see that we chose wisely and avoided the deepest most painful regret of them all - the regret that comes from letting something amazing pass you by."

Deep inside, I wanted her to choose Jackson. She did.

P.S. Too busy now. Full review of Ram Leela after exams.

The Custodian of My Solitude...

I've forgotten none of you –
I remember
the hours by the lake,
and how we shared a passage
no one else might encounter.

A tenderness for ideas,
the light that fell on our things.
How fine music tasted
with the guest of my secret hours.

Thank you for being
the custodian of my solitude,
the knower of my past, and the atonement
of my uncertain future.

And as the keeper of my sanity -
I remember
only you.

- Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi

Of Trip Update, Ambition, The Road Less Traveled, Aatish Taseer, Dreams, Dil To Pagal Hai, and Contest Wins...

Long time no see.

There is so much work to do for the next three weeks that I am already feeling the jitters. But I tired to finish some of the work quickly. The thing is I am a slow worker and do it at a snail's speed. In addition, the universal validity of the Parkinson's law as well as the constant urge to check Twitter for a new article to read - I take double the time. 

Anyways, it is almost three weeks since came back from India. I did not do much there. I did not meet many people - just five friends. How would I meet when I did not even tell that I am coming. I did not even feel like going to the theater. Saw Dhoom 3 and did not go for Dedh Ishqiya. I met you and after that I felt even more sad, so I was waiting to come back. At least, my mind will be diverted here. And yes, I went to P's wedding. P has helped me a lot in the last four years I have known him. He is more a guide than a friend because I have a very formal friendship with him. I was very happy for him that he got married. There are people for whom you genuinely feel that they deserve the best in life and he is one of them. I still call him 'aap'. I don't know why is this but I am a very, very formal person even with my close friends. H calls me formality ki moorat, I don't know why I am like that but I am just too conscious. And then I came back to the land of the frozen tundra. This year, the winter has been very severe. Last year, it was cold but not as cold as it is this year. 

This last week, a very noteworthy thing happened. Two of my friends, separately, asked me if I want to start a business with them. They were actually quite serious. If it had been another business student, this would have aroused at least some curiosity but since I am such a useless MBA student, I did not feel even an iota of excitement by the thought of having my own business. It is not my cup of tea and I am just not smart enough for my business. But at the same time, I feel like such a loser. Twenty years from now, when I will look back, would I have achieved anything? Will there be something that I could call it as my own? These days I keep on reading the biographies of the famous people. Then I compare myself to what they were at the same age. It is not an assuring feeling. But then I am not really good at anything, something that I can really call as my own. The two things that I love are news and movies, in both of which there are already some terrific things happening. I really want to excel at something, something that I can call as my own. All people I know are good at something or the other and I wish I could be like them. 

Also, I shared with my friend, these two old excellent articles by Sidin Vadukut.

The three-year plan

As the meetings went on, I began to realize an interesting pattern. Something came up over and over again: “I have this amazing idea for a start-up. Success guaranteed. It is like betting on an atomic clock. But I am thinking of doing it after working in a company for two or three years.” Unfortunately, in my experience, this is a difficult life plan. The cubicle is an addictive, convenient pursuit. Over time one gets used to the trappings of office: the travel desk, salary account, the fellow who files tax returns, the rent payments, the frequent flying, the American Express points, and complementary cappuccinos. Gradually, we begin to take these luxuries for granted. My point being, this life is remarkably difficult to walk away from. Especially if what awaits you on the other side is entrepreneurship and associated insanities.

How families cripple entrepreneurs

The flip side to all this is that families and loved ones can also be pillars of strength. They can both motivate and validate your business plans. The architect of one of India’s great dotcom stories once told me how he owed his entire success to his wife’s unflinching faith and feedback. One gets to hear of all kinds of factors that go into making a successful start-up. Perhaps a finely balanced family support network is one of them.

There is a very famous poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken. The poem talks about two identical roads and the poet says he took the road less traveled. And you know how people extol that they consciously chose the road less traveled and that is why they became successful. That is actually not what the poem means. 'Everyone thinks the poem means to break away from the crowd and do your own thing, but if you read it, Frost is very clear that the two roads are exactly the same. He just chooses one at random. And then it’s only later at a dinner party when he’s talking about it that he tells everyone he chose the road less traveled by, but he’s lying. So the point of the poem is that everyone wants to look back and think that their choices matter. But in reality, it just happens the way that it happens, and it doesn't matter which choices to make.' This insight is actually from Orange is the New Black. Isn't it such a brilliant thing and we all think that by being different and choosing the unconventional path, we might be successful but in reality it just happens randomly. A risk or the road less travled that might work one time, might not work the other time. I don't know why I am writing this because I saw this about six months back but I still remember it somehow. How wrong we are sometimes and it is funny because in this example of the road less traveled, we all believed its meaning based on other people, or in a way the road that was more traveled by other people. Irony. More on actual meaning of Frost's The Road Not Taken here. 

Aatish Taseer has started a new show on Star World called Chivas Studio - Gentleman's Code. Contrary to the negative reviews it received, I saw the first episode and I actually liked it. Aatish is a beautiful writer. He is son of the late Pakistani politician, Salman Taseer, and Indian columnist, Tavleen Singh. He wrote this very poignant piece when his father was killed by his own guard. The killer of my father, Salman Taseer, was showered with rose petals by fanatics. How could they do this? He is a great scholar of Sanskrit too. This time, he wrote about the modern Indian man and gives some excellent advice - to write, read. I also like his mention of Ayan Mukerji. He says in this article,

To be able to meet the demands of the contemporary world, where women jostle for their space, men can re-think and re-fashion themselves on these lines. “Read, as it develops the human side on any individual. The modern man should be questioning because doubt is the sign of an intelligent mind. They should show discernment towards humanities and be open to literature, culture and arts. I quite liked the way the film 3 Idiots handled the subject of our society’s hangover with fields like finance, investment and engineering.”

Bollywood has been tremendously influential on the psyche of modern Indian men; some films have given a new feel to male characters as seen in Ayan Mukerji’s works. “His movies show men with diffident masculinity, they are the self-doubting and questioning, we don’t have patriarchs in his films,” he said.

He signed off with a tip for budding writers, “If you have to write then no point having romantic notions about it. Don’t wait for inspiration. Just get started if you have to write. Be prepared to face rejection and handle a lot of discomfort. Give time to reading if you wish to take up writing. I spend eight hours a day just reading,” he said.

Yes, to write, one must read a lot. 

Two days ago, I had the most weirdest dream, more of a nightmare. Typically, I don't remember the dreams but this one I still remember it. I don't even want to recall it. It was horrendous to me. I wish I had the capacity to record dreams. I have seen some of the most beautiful and some of the most scariest things in my life in dreams. So found some really interesting facts about dreams. How beautiful our brain is. 

Within 10 minutes of waking up, you will have forgotten 90% of your dreams.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 28, 2013

Before color TV was invented, a vast majority of the population used to dream in black and white.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 21, 2013

Psychology states that the time we spend dreaming helps us overcome painful experiences.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 19, 2013

Psychology says the colder the room you sleep in, the more likely you are to have a bad dream.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 17, 2013

The average person has 4 to 7 dreams a night, within a total of one to two hours.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 8, 2013

Psychology says that depression can cause you to dream up to 3-4 times more than you normally would.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) December 4, 2013

Psychology states that the average dream only lasts 2 to 3 seconds.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) February 3, 2014

Reading and dreaming are functions of two different sides of the brain. This is why you can't read in a dream.
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) November 22, 2013

Ever had a dream about someone, snake, accident, train or murder? Your dreams have deep meanings. See: http://t.co/05atiFWdgn
— Psychology (@PsychoIogicaI) January 25, 2014

I don't why I have been thinking all disparate things things this week. But I was reminded of the tape recorder scene from Dil To Pagal Hai. I cannot get this scene out of my head. Nisha records a message for Ajay in which she talks about Rahul. She says, "Tumhari pagli ke sapne sach ho gaye hain, Ajay. Use apne sapno ka saathi mil gaya hai." I love this movie a lot. And in the climax, Ajay plays the same tape. That scene is amazing. I miss you, Yash ji. No one can make love stories like you. 

Maya :)

I have watched a few movies and cannot write in detail about all of them but will write very briefly later. Turning 30, Wake Up Sid, Gori Tere Pyaar Mein, Dhoom 3, Aiyyaa, Aisha, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag - learnt some fabulous things in Wake Up Sid, will write on it for sure later. It is a film that truly has a heart. I love it. I am still waiting for Ram Leela and The Lunchbox. As soon as both of them are available, I will watch them. Also, you know Sukanya Verma holds a weekly quiz on Rediff. Typically, I am not able to join it but last month, I was able to. She asked one question to identify the actress from her arm. I answered it and she said this below :) No one else answered it. It is from Lootera, identified it from Sonakshi's saree. What is disappointing is that in this awards' season, Lootera has been completely looked over. No recognition even for music! It is easily one of the most beautiful films of last year. I also won a DVD, personally signed by Farhan Akhtar, of the movie - Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. I did not like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag much. It is technically brilliant but it told nothing new - why Milkha looked back and lost the race, what was his motivation - I was very bored. Also, I am not a big fan of biographies. I find them utterly bland. Anyway, more on movies in the next post. 

Lootera :)

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

I still have a lot to write. More later.

Dialogue of the day:

"You know kuch species ki personality hi aisi hoti hai ki milte hi dost ban jate hai."

 - Aisha, Wake Up Sid

Soon

Long time no see. Just too much stuff happening right now. I am too tired. And irritated to write. There are a lot of things to write on. Soon.

.

Jab We Met...

I am a big fan of watching the movies on the big screen. I have the notion that watching a movie on the big screen increases your chances of liking it by 20% for easily comprehensible reasons. However, I also like watching movies on a laptop. The advantage of watching a movie on the laptop is that I can make notes at my own pace while watching, pause and take screenshots, re-watch the scenes which I did not understand, and observe the minute details in the screenplay. Of course, the charm of the big screen is unparalleled. But living in a city where the nearest Hindi movie theater is 250 miles away, I have become more amenable to watching movies on my laptop. Lately, not only I have become more used to watching them on my laptop, but I also do not mind watching movies again. Once I saw a movie, I hardly watched any movie the second time thinking it to be a waste of time. But now, I think that watching a movie again brings out a perspective that I did not think about earlier. I have been on a movie re-watching spree to learn more about my favorite films. For some movies, I feel as if I have not seen them at all. There is so much to write and I really want to share but given the paucity of time, I am unable to write on them. All I have left is a collection of rudimentary points on the film. Someday, when I write my book, I will write them all. 

But I do want to write briefly on one of my favorite films, Jab We Met. I have already written a lot here about Jab We Met, yet I want to keep on talking about this movie. This is one of those movies which anyone can watch again and again without feeling any trace of exhaustion. I literally speak along the lines while watching it. It is a perfect story of finding life through love. A lot of people adore the character of Geet but in my opinion, Aditya was a far superior character in the movie. Shahid Kapoor did not win as much accolade and acclaim as much as he deserved. Here are some more brief thoughts on the movie.

In the initial few scenes of the movie, a lachrymose Aditya stands in front of a mirror in the washroom. He is staring at himself with a look of wretchedness and melancholy. The script of the movie has a slightly different mention of the scene that we do not see in the movie. The script says, "Aditya stands facing the mirror in the wash room. He is looking down. After a moment, he looks up towards his eyes. He lacks the courage to look at himself. He looks down." In the movie we only see him staring at himself. But if we think a little more, the scene meant that Aditya, the way he looked himself in the mirror, blamed himself for his misfortunes. He is crestfallen and unable to purge the cause of his despair. Later, he meets Geet and they both spend the night in Hotel Decent. It is here that he begins to learn from Geet to let go and purge the cause of his desolation. Again, he goes to the washroom and he flushes the burning picture of his ex-girlfriend. There are no mirrors in this dilapidated washroom, instead he looks at the picture as if he now understands that it is not he, but his ex-girlfriend to blame. The washroom, where earlier he was unable to cleanse himself, was in some way referring to his act of absolving himself and getting rid of his ex-girlfriend's memories. Imtiaz uses this concept of repeating the aspects of the story line, if I may erroneously use the term contrasting symmetry, as we know numerous other times in the movie, such as the Punjab field scenes, and the following your heart scenes among many others..

Washroom - Blaming himself

Washroom - Finally cleansed

As I had written earlier, Imtiaz's films make the point that somehow journeys are more important than the destination. Whether it is Socha Na Tha, Jab We Met, Love Aaj Kal, or Rockstar - all his films involve some element of a journey travelling to different places. In the song Aao Milo Chalo, Geet and Adtiya use almost every possible means of transportation. They travel in a bus, a rickshaw, an SUV, a tempo, a cycle, and a sedan. They also walk for some time as their car breaks down. When the song finishes, there is even a boat in a river. All these different vehicles refer to the ups and downs of life, the momentum of life; that as the car that broke down, similarly, our life will suffer a temporary setback but we have to keep on moving. The script beautifully describes and accentuates the meaning of the song. Although the actual picturization is slightly different, it says,

The song is about travel. Aditya is going with the flow. He does not know where he will end up but he wants to keep going. This is the song of a man coming out from the shackles of his life and moving into freedom. Geet is the catalyst for this change. In the song, Aditya is getting infected by her bright spirit. He is even copying her subconsciously. His body language changes in the song. After the bus, Aditya is singing as he walks down a street in Kota with Geet. In the music interlude, we see that Aditya withdraws cash from an ATM. Then they take Geet’s luggage from the station and keep it in the cab he has hired. Aditya is wearing new clothes. The car is on the highway now. Aditya and Geet are sleeping in the back seat. Geet is seen drawing water from a hand-pump on the way. Both splash water on themselves. The car drives through a procession of camels. Somewhere on the road, the car’s tyre is punctured, the driver is repairing it. Aditya and Geet are sitting on a milestone. Then Aditya is driving, Geet is sitting next to him and the driver is sleeping in the back seat. At the end of the song, the car is standing at a dhaba somewhere in Punjab. Aditya and Geet are climbing a guava tree that is slanted on a water stream on the side of the dhaba.

I love how beautifully the song is used as a metaphor for freedom. Aditya inadvertently copying Geet, as well as he wearing new clothes symbolize a new lease of life he has got from Geet. Also, this contrasts beautifully with the first few scenes of the movie as well. A morose Aditya leaves everything, he leaves his office and goes to his ex-girlfriend's wedding, he drives his car, then walks, then takes a bus, takes off his tie, his cuff links, and gets into a train. He tried to break free from the world by considering suicide but Geet saves him. In this song, he learns to walk to freedom but not by suicide but by learning to let go, by filling his emotional void, and by taking the path of music. Again, this was another use of the brilliant symmetrical contrast used beautifully by Imtiaz.

Trying to break free

Aao Milo Chalo

Learning to start again

Life is a journey

Manzil se behtar lagne lage hai yeh raaste

Boat

The script also poignantly describes the feelings of Geet when she is finally going to meet Anshuman in the song Yeh Ishq Hai. I find the choreography of the song absolutely gorgeous. Saroj Khan has choreographed it splendidly and she totally deserved the National Award, which she got. The ethereal grace of the Tibetan dancers, the pristine surroundings of Rohtang Pass, the foot-tapping beats of Pritam's music - the song conveys the emotions of Geet being in heaven with aplomb. The script says, 

The road climbs up and snow peaked mountains come into view. We are in the Himalayas. And Geet is on top of the world. Her dream is coming true. She is going home to Anshuman. She wants to smell all the flowers and soak in the clouds. She wants to dance in the hill market-place, she wants to hug everybody on the street. Aditya is looking at her go berserk. He is looking at her with the feeling that he will not be looking at her for long. He is missing her already. Geet sings the song. Geet does the dance. Geet changes clothes and shows the options to Aditya. Aditya watches.

Just before the song starts, we also see that there is a peacock in Geet's bag. Does that symbolize her happiness similar to what a peacock feels when it is about to rain? She is in a trance as she is about to get her love, the same way a peacock dances and spreads its wings, moments before it rains.

Dancing like a peacock

What I also love is that the train played a very important role in the movie. In fact, the title of the film was decided by a popular vote with one option related to trains. Audience had a choice between Punjab Mail, Ishq Via Bhatinda, and Jab We Met. Not only do some of the most important things happen related to trains but there are also many philosophical references to missing the train as well, especially from Geet. At one point, she says, "Pata hai? Mujhe daravne sapne aate hain, kayi maheenon se, ki main na train ke peeche bhaag rahi hoon, aur train chhoot gayee." In the climax of the movie, she says, "Ek ajeeb sa darr lag raha tha, jaise kuch galat ho raha hai, jaise koi train choot rahi hai." Or the dialogue of the station master, "Zindagi rail ki patri hai. Ek inch ka bend aur aage chal ke meelon ki doori. Ek chhoti si bhool tumhaari saari zindagi badal sakti hai." The train also formed a part of another contrasting symmetry in the movie. In the initial scenes of the movie, Aditya is about to jump off the train. But Geet sees him opening the door and starts her monologue on how he should not open the door and then a train passes by in the background and everything goes mute except the sound of the train in the background. Similarly, in the final scene of the movie, Geet and Anshuman are meeting. Anshuman is talking to Geet and then a train passes in the background and everything goes mute except the sound of the train. It is then she realizes what a colossal mistake (almost akin to suicide like Aditya tried earlier) she is making by getting married to Anshuman. The train, thus, became a metaphor for missed chances in life and again, Imtiaz uses the element of symmetry to make his point.

About to jump

Train in the background

Now, I come to my most favorite part of the movie - Aditya. As I mentioned earlier, to me Aditya was the best character in the movie. After Sid in Dil Chahta Hai, if there is any character that I love so much it is Aditya. He is shy, funny, smart, and well-mannered. The way he is mesmerized by Geet's philosophy of life, the way he smiles to himself on seeing the antics of Geet, the way he pines for her, the way he leans on the wall when he sees her, the way he will force her to come with him, the way he cries on seeing the state of Geet's sadness, the way he cries to himself on realizing he cannot get her - Aditya is a gem of a person. Shahid is so good in this film, I don't know what happened to him after this film. My most favorite part in which he won my heart was the scene when he convinces Geet to go with Anshuman. Again, there was this element of contrasting symmetry where he tells Geet to listen to her heart, like earlier Geet had said, "Toh aise mein main vohi karti hoon jo mera dil kehta hai." He says to her, that his parents did not love each other. They loved other people. And his entire life he suffered because of that. They were great together in the office, but home was hell. They should have just followed their hearts and sooner or later everything would have sorted out. Then, Geet says, that she can’t believe he is arguing his case. Aditya smiles and says, "Main tumhari side bhi to le raha hun na, Geet. Tum aur Anshuman ek hi side pe to ho. It's simple, Geet. Jo log ek dusre se pyaar karte hain, unhi ko saath me rehna chahiye, tabhi sab khush rahenge." I loved it that he is the one who convinces Geet, that to me showed his immense poise and maturity. 

In the scene after that when they catch a toy train, Geet says, "Main tujhein bahut achchi lagti hoon na?" Aditya without making any effort to hide his feelings says, "Bahut. Bahut zyada achchi lagti ho. Magar vo mera problem hai. O yaar asi jo chahe feel kar sakde hai. Tujhe ko tension lene ki zarrorat nahi hai." He is not afraid to admit his feelings for Geet and will do anything to see she gets her love, even though he cries for her silently. As one critic described, Geet truly brings geet and music to his life. This scene was just amazing. Who will not get floored by Aditya? I can just go on looking their pictures together.

Trivia:

Geet wears a shirt with a poster of Mughal-E-Azam. The funniest part was when the guy on the bike calls her, "O Anarkali, sun idhar aa." Anarkali is a character from Mughal-E-Azam :-)

Mughal-E-Azam

Apharan poster

Deewar poster

Zinda poster

Need a Railway Lexicography :)

Hotel Decent

Darshan durlabh ho gaye, jab se diya udhaar. Udhaar pyaar ki kaichi hai :)

Chinta di koi lor nahi :)

Geet - Dil Ki Baat

The script has many small differences from the movie. There are some scenes that are cut short. Like this one: 

Aditya goes to the window. He sees Geet going into her room. He stands there, looking at her room. She appears at her window and looks at him. He smiles. She smiles. They stand for a second. He indicates to her that she should go to sleep. She indicates to him that he should go to sleep. He nods. Waves to her. She waves back. He moves from the window. He takes support of the wall and stands. For a while. Then he switches the light off.

The script says, "Ten years later. Geet and Aditya are sitting on a couch. Their two sons are with them." But in the movie, we see that they have two daughters. 

The song Tum Se Hi has a completely different description as opposed to what we see in the movie. The script says, "He walks into a room in his house, takes down a guitar case from a cupboard, opens the case, strums, starts playing a tune with the beats. He goes into a reverie. A cottage in the mountains – picturesque, serene. Aditya sings in his room, thinking about the mountains. Geet comes out of the cottage. Aditya is singing in his room. Geet walks down the path from the cottage. She crosses Aditya, who is in her path in the hills, wearing his executive clothes and looking at her. Geet is buying vegetables at a market, drying clothes on a line, doing the traditional hill life chores wearing hill clothes. Aditya is following her in the hills, singing. Aditya walks towards a conference hall for an important meeting. He makes to push the door open, then turns to see something. Geet is standing there in her traditional hill clothes, smiling at him. Aditya pauses, looks at her with a smile. Aditya is in the important meeting, talking to the people across the table, Geet passes from behind those people, looking at him and singing. Aditya does not look at her but a smiles comes to his face. So Aditya carries on with his life in the city and Geet follows him and Geet carries on her life in the hills and Aditya follows her. Aditya’s team is taking a lassi break as they are working late hours for the launch of a new product. Aditya is sitting on a table top and singing the song to his colleagues who are sitting at cubicles and chairs and table-tops and looking at him. The song ends."

Geet brings geet to him :)

Also, I find it very interesting that they treated Anshuman very well in the movie. In fact, in the scene when Geet talks about Aditya taking his side, there is a different treatment of him in the script, which is edited out in the movie. Aditya still says that Geet should be with Anshuman, but he also says that she should punish him as she deems fit. He says, "Don’t forgive him. Trouble him. Take your revenge. You have your lifetime to do that. This man has caused you pain. He took too much time, you suffered, so punish him as you see fit. But don’t turn him away. That will be a mistake."

The link of the script is here.

Jab Me Met is such an exhilarating experience that deserves to be seen again and again. The premise of finding life through love and coming of age is a hackneyed theme and it is fascinating to find a film with such refreshing characters that makes it feel like a new experience. Thank you, Imtiaz for this gem of a film :)

Of course, my favorite song from the movie:

More later.

Dialogue of the day:

"Sab kehte hain Mumbai bada crowded hai. Arey? Crowded matlab kya? Crowd hum jaise logon se hi to banta hai? Khud bheed ka hissa hain aur takleef bhi khud hi ko hai. So funny."
 - Geet, Jab We Met