Of Birthday Wishes, Quotes From Brothers and Sisters, Conversations With Cab Drivers, Internship, Ambarsariya, The Great Gatsby, and Hugs...

Long time no see..

Where do I begin? Last week was the birthday. I got to talk to so many people. Some friends actually called from India. Considering it costs Rs.8/minute without an international calling card, it really means a lot. So either I didn't pick up or I used to tell them that I will call back because it is much cheaper for me. Aise baat karne me kisi ka pura balance thori khali karna hai :) There were some people who surprised me by wishing. So A writes on his twitter feed,

I felt humbled by it. I mean I am a person with very little self confidence, so it made me feel slightly better. And the thing is I have not met him even once! He is Y's friend and I just know him through Twitter. Thanks A :)

And R sent an email with such a sweet message :)

T wrote this

S, D and A call me "My Pankaj"... it reminds me of you sometimes as you used to call me this sometimes :(

P gave this..

From V..

From J

From X :)

M gave an air mattress as she thought I will be needing it here :P

I have saved voice mails by A, R and M.. and Whatsapp and Facebook messages.. it is these things that are my treasure :)

I went out alone last week to have some good food. Good food as in pasta, which is the only vegetarian thing I can eat here, and had beer. There was a storm warning and it was raining really heavily. The storm came but hit Oklahoma. 

Happy Birthday P..

I am constantly watching Brothers and Sisters. I really like it now. Each of the characters is so real. There are some great quotes from it.

The thing about becoming a father is it makes you think about your own dad. - Tommy

The good stuff is so rare..you got to share the wealth. - Sarah

We don't love the people we love because they are perfect. We love the people we love because they are. - Warren

Sometimes being a good parent is knowing when not to parent, you have to get out of the way and let life happen to your kids. - Nora 

Justin is awesome, though I feel really bad for Kevin.

As Rebecca, the step-daughter puts it beautifully,

I've been getting to know your family. Not that that’s an easy thing to do, because they’re all a little unhinged, but I think tonight I finally started to figure them out. Like Tommy is always so stoic, taking care of everyone around him. I’m just not sure who’s taking care of him. And Kevin when he’s really hurt he’s sarcastic and funny, he’s brutally funny, but I think even he knows that’s not always enough, not now, not for this. And Sarah’s just this force, kind of like Superwoman, you know, with the kids and the job, she’s always fighting so hard for her family all the time, but I’m sure she sometimes wishes it was easier, not so complicated. Kitty’s someone I don’t really know yet, but I’m glad she came home, I think she needed to be here, especially now. I think being around her family is what grounds her, gives her direction, keeps her sane. And your mom, she’s like the most amazing woman I've ever met, the way she handles everything and everyone. But every so often I can tell she’s a million miles away. Thinking about you. And then she just looks so scared and so small. And you were wrong about being the black sheep. You’re the heart of this family, Justin. They need you. I need you, so please be okay. Please.

Here is a funny thing. Cab drivers are really interesting people. Last week, I was coming from Walmart in the cab and I ask this cab driver

P: So what all places are there to visit here?

Cab Driver: How old are you?

P: I am 25.

Cab Driver: I can take you to a strip club if you want. I have been there many times. They will come and give you a lap dance. You cannot touch them else they will throw you out. You should go and have some fun. What is point of going to other places?

P: Ok :\

And today I was coming back from the mall after watching The Great Gatsby. So I have another conversation with another cab driver.

Cab Driver: So are you an Indian?

P: Yes

Cab Driver: You know I just dropped a really hot Indian chic this morning. 

P: Ok..

Cab Driver: You should have seen her she was really hot

P: Are you married?

Cab Driver: I am happily divorced.

P: So are you seeing someone?

Cab Driver: My girl friend broke with me last September because she said I love you and I just ran from her after hearing that. Who has time for love?

P: Oh..I am sorry

Cab Driver: Don't be.. I am very happy. I love my job. I get to pick up really hot chics. So, last week, this chic was sitting behind me and constantly kept rubbing my shoulders.

P: Ohk..so?

Cab Driver: I have got lucky many times. Sometimes these chics sit in the cab and show me their t***. Last year on St.Patty's day, so many drunk chics showed theirs to me and they were really hot.

P: So are you disappointed that I sat in your cab?

Cab Driver: Of course, I am always disappointed if a guy sits in the car. I love chics in my car.

P: Ok I am sorry..next time I won't sit :P

These cab drivers are really funny. 

The internship has finally started. I am the only intern in the team and all the other people are very senior. My manager is almost sixty years. She seems nice as of now. I don't know though whether I will be able to get the work done or not :\ It is slightly difficult. I just wish I was a little more smart and confident though :(

Fukrey's new song came out a few days ago. I love it and have been constantly listening to it. After Heer from Jab Tak Hai Jaan and Yaaram from Ek Thi Dayan and Sun Raha Hai Na Tu from Ashiqui 2, the Ambarsariya from Fukrey is a favorite. The video is so awesome. I love the part when the girl comes out wearing this gold dress and the guy makes such a funny expression while checking her out. Haha..

Love the expression :P

Ambarsariya - Fukrey

So the weekend came and I really wanted to watch a movie. I haven't seen a movie in a theater after Silver Linings Playbook :( I really wanted to see The Great Gatsby for long. I don't wait for anybody now. Since nobody is here, I will go alone to watch movies. It is ok. And I liked The Great Gatsby a lot. I have not read the book but given that it is written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, I knew the film had to be really deep. The story is extremely sad. How people would do anything for love? How important is money? Once you get the money, will you be really happy? Baz Luhrmann of the Moulin Rouge fame directs the film. I did not watch it in 3D but the film is visually stunning. But I felt as some places, the visual art direction was given more emphasis than the story itself. But still I really liked the movie. The film asked so many relevant questions.

At one point, Nick says to Jay, you can’t repeat the past. This line stumped me. And when the film ends, Nick says, Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter - tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further. And one fine morning...so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

This line again confused me. First Nick says you can't repeat the past and then he says that how much you try the past will pull you back. So aren't these two lines contradictory? Apparently, there has been astonishing amounts of literature written on this last line, which I found out. So here is one possible explanation.

Gatsby is distraught and desperate at the fact that he can't have Daisy. He isn't crazy or delusional, but in a sense, he is. He is unable to live in the present. He is in love with a girl from his past, Daisy, and becomes so obsessed with finding a way back to her heart that he purchases a home on the same lake, and goes to great lengths to find ways to speak to her again. Though it is obvious that she has changed - who doesn't after many years and significant events such as marriage - Gatsby doesn't even see it and still cannot find any faults in her. He is thus driving for a change in the future, meaning a future with Daisy, by actually trying to change the past. As he tries to get her to fall back in love with him, he's doing just that. But there are things in the present that are impossible to change and thus ultimately ruin his dream, like the fact that Daisy is married and unwilling to divorce Tom because of her religion - even though she is aware of his affair and he does not treat her as if he loves her. He also in a sense is changing his past when he lies about his youth to Nick, and acts as if he truly believes himself. He's recreating the past in his head to make himself more appealing.

These words conclude the novel and find Nick returning to the theme of the significance of the past to dreams of the future, here represented by the green light. He focuses on the struggle of human beings to achieve their goals by both transcending and re-creating the past. Yet humans prove themselves unable to move beyond the past: in the metaphoric language used here, the current draws them backward as they row forward toward the green light. This past functions as the source of their ideas about the future (epitomized by Gatsby’s desire to re-create 1917 in his affair with Daisy) and they cannot escape it as they continue to struggle to transform their dreams into reality. While they never lose their optimism (“tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther . . .”), they expend all of their energy in pursuit of a goal that moves ever farther away. This apt metaphor characterizes both Gatsby’s struggle and the American dream itself. Nick’s words register neither blind approval nor cynical disillusionment but rather the respectful melancholy that he ultimately brings to his study of Gatsby’s life.

Loved it totally..so complex these themes are..At one point, Nick says he wanted to be an writer but the lure of money forced him to go to the Wall Street. Eventually, he realizes how hollow the pursuit of money has become. Isn't this question still relevant to our times no?

And Amitabh Bachchan plays a two minute cameo in the film! And the performances are excellent. Leonardo is brilliant. He brings such a devastating melancholy to Gatsby. Critics have trashed the movie but it isn't that bad.. 

And after the Oklahoma storm, this was one of the most moving articles that was there. Human nature is really complex. At one point, see the case of kidnapping in Cleveland where a man keeps three girls captive for over ten years and at the other end, a thirteen year old girl gives hugs to strangers. No doubt we humans are the most complex creatures on the planet.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/05/24/13-year-old-girl-gives-out-hugs-cheer-in-oklahoma-town-devastated-by-deadly/

Need a hug?

And again, this reminds me of that scene from Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu. Ya I am in love with that movie :}

:(

It was really cold today. Eight degrees in the morning. Wore a sweater as was feeling cold. It is funny. Mom tells me that in Delhi it is 48! and I tell her it is 8 here!

Anyways wrote a lot. Still have so much to write. But later.

Dialogue of the Day:

"Apna ateet kisi aur ke hawale karna aasan baat nahi hai."

 - Bansi, Saaz

Of Brothers and Sisters, Letters To A Young Poet, Kai Po Che, and Twenty Six...

The last week has been the saddest week. I have never felt so wretched and hopeless like the last few days. Wednesday was awful, I just couldn't control and yet when mom called I had to tell everything is alright. It is like I am wearing so many masks, trying to hide the feelings from reality. I need to take some steps to help myself and I have to do it fast. Who will help me here? 

First year is over and now second year is going to start. As if there are not enough things to stress about, second year is going to add one more big burden. I didn't feel like going out at all. Since I was supposed to leave on Friday, I called a few friends for lunch on Thursday for the birthday. These are the people that I have now. Other than that I am not celebrating the end of first year like some others. What should I celebrate about? Time will make problems worse and I have started to get a feeling how difficult it is ahead.

I am just watching marathon of Brothers and Sisters. It is not a great show but I don't really like comedy series, so I picked this one up as I love drama. And I am hooked. Weird family with its weird problems. I identify with some aspects of each of them. Justin, Kitty and Kevin are my favorites. It is the second soap after Ally McBeal that Calista Flockhart has done. In one of the episodes, Sarah says to her mom

There is this terrible bruised silence between us...

I could totally feel what she means by bruised silence. I am experiencing it with some people here. Awkward silence with someone here that is stifling.
In another episode, Kevin gifts a book to Chad called Letters To A Young Poet. Chad reads a beautiful passage from it. He says,

Love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.

Kevin and Justin

I couldn't understand it, so searched more on it. So the full passage of the letter is simply beautiful. It says

We know little, but that we must trust in what is difficult is a certainty that will never abandon us; it is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be one more reason for us to do it.

It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances. Only in this sense, as the task of working on themselves ("to hearken and to hammer day and night"), may young people use the love that is given to them. Merging and surrendering and every kind of communion is not for them (who must still, for a long, long time, save and gather themselves); it is the ultimate, is perhaps that for which human lives are as yet barely large enough.

Loved it. It says how love is important as it teaches us the importance of solitude and anything that is difficult is a great learning process that we will always remember. Maybe I should read the book too.

And in another episode, Scotty tells Kevin, 

Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself...

Perhaps that is why no one loves me :(

I also saw Kai Po Che. It came on Netflix. And honestly, I was disappointed. I did not like it much. Or maybe the hype did me in. I could not connect with the film emotionally at all. No references, no great dialogues, no great scenes, no hidden meanings, very simplistic treatment. Performances are excellent though..all of them! But I was aghast by the controversy that the movie tried to exonerate Modi's complicity in the riots. Websites, such as Kafila and New York Times, had reported that Chetan Bhagat changed some sequences as his opinion of Modi has become more favorable. But I couldn't find any evidence of it in the movie. In fact, in the movie, Hindu right wing groups are shown to be more aggressive and are shown to attack innocent Muslims. What was the fuss all about really? Back to the movie, I really don't know why it didn't move me? Rajeev Masand says in his review, you’d have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by the film’s piercing finale. I guess I really have a heart of stone. I was not moved.

Greatbong wrote an excellent review of the movie, which I liked it more than the movie itself. Really liked his analogy of the three friends as the idealist, the pragmatist, and the believer.

http://greatbong.net/2013/03/06/on-kai-po-che/

Talking of not moved, Grey's Anatomy Season 9 ended. This season has to be the most boring one. I did not like it much except for Alex and Jo. Else nothing spectacular really happened. And yeah the flash mob of Matthew proposing April was the sweetest moment. 

Flash Mob for Proposing :)

And yeah it is my birthday today. Twenty six years...thirty is just four years away...I am really really worried.  Time will make problems worse and that is why I am feeling a level of helplessness that I have never felt..Where can I escape? I also have my needs..Don't I want to fulfill them?

So how am I celebrating? By binging on food in my apartment. I moved to Des Moines yesterday for the summer. So as of now I know no body in this city. Set up the apartment today. Have to buy some more stuff. Set up the Internet today. But I guess being alone is not a problem. I am a loner and as Murakami says,

“I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn't find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I've had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.”

Anyways more later..

Dialogue of the Day:

तेरे सिक्कों की छन छन से मेरी हवा की कीमत कम हो रही है

 - Ishaan, Kai Po Che

VT...

May be being broken is good. May be not all who are damaged want to be repaired. 

Of 100 Years, Lost Love, Shakuntala Devi, Introverts, OCD, Changes, and Vasundhara Das...

So long time no see.

On Friday was the centenary anniversary of Indian cinema. I don't understand why everyone calls it 100 years of Bollywood!!! It is not hundred years of Bollywood. It is the entire Indian industry. There was a lot to read. Mint has come up with an excellent issue containing such detailed information. There are 10 parts and profiles of Mehmood, Kajol, Dharmender, Kamal Amrohi, Dilip Kumar, Nargis, Waheeda Rehman, Shashi Kapoor, Kamal Swaroop, Kishore Kumar, and Lata Mangeshkar.

Do read them here

100 years, 100 great movie memories | Part 1

I have not read all the parts. But all other parts are available if one searches the cinema issue. W14 also brought out their series again on Bollywood. The one below is one on the '90s.

That '90s Mega Show

But my favorite was this article.

What's happened to love in movies today? or दिल-ए-नादाँ तुझे हुआ क्या है?

The article talks about how we have forgotten to love ourselves, and perhaps that is why we do not appreciate the love in movies.

We yawn when we see love-at-first sight sort of chemistry and go blank should any character even speak of laying down their lives for the other. Our makers are the same as us, they don't get it either and so we have half-baked stuff like Aashiqui-2. It isn't anything to write home about, but I still wonder, if it (or JTHJ or even Ishaqzaade, for that matter) was made 20 yrs back would it be more watchable just because we, as an audience and as people, were more in love with love then, than we are today?

I loved the part about Jab Tak Hai Jaan. Perhaps what she is saying is true, we have become too love-less. And maybe that is why Ashiqui 2 is doing well, it brings out the old romance, although critics are saying there is nothing new in the story. Talking of Ashiqui 2, that song Sun Raha Hai Na Tu is just brilliant. The way the very first line, apne karam ki kar adayein, is sung as soon as the song starts is simply wow. The song is addictive; I like it more than Tum Hi Ho. 

And you know Shakuntala Devi passed away recently. Greatbong posted this on his timeline. It is a very moving article about she dealt with her husband's sexuality. She was really a great person.

What the numbers didn't tell – Shakuntala Devi

And someone on her timeline posted this video about introverts and somehow each and everything in the video defines me as a person. I totally agree with the part when it says the thing that pisses them off the most is when someone tells them they are too quiet, and I can't tell how pissed I get when someone tells that to me. And the thing about me is I am an introvert when I meet face to face, but my social media avatar is quite vocal. It is like I substitute my human interaction with the online presence.

In fact, there has been a significant and controversial discussion going on for the last two-three sessions in one of our classes. Our professor says that new research says that although extroverts are often viewed as better leaders, they are not always tuned in to the needs of their group. Particularly when they have proactive followers, introverted leaders have been found to have groups with higher productivity (14-28%) than extroverts.

This led to howls of protest from some people that this couldn't be true. I, somehow, felt good about it. But I don't necessarily agree with associating leadership with being introverted. I think it is too abstract to bucket leadership into characteristics. I know I am studying in a B-school, but somehow, I think leadership is over-hyped. I am more of a follower and happy to admit that. If everyone leads, wouldn't it lead to chaos? Or maybe that is why I cannot be a good leader.

Talking of leaders, many people blame Manmohan Singh for being a terrible leader because he just doesn't say anything. I think that is just a part of the problem. The main issue is that he cannot make any decisions. He is a powerless leader, and there is nothing worse than being one. Not saying anything just compounds the problem. He didn't say anything in the first term either, but he showed some spine. He went to let his government fall to pass the nuclear deal. He took a stand, and people respected it. But his second term has been a disaster. Sonia Gandhi's National Advisory Council, which is the shadow cabinet of our country, has brought some terrible laws, and the government has gone into policy paralysis. He is an excellent economist and knows that the NAC's socialist policies will not work, but he doesn't oppose them. People say he is an honest man. That doesn't mean he can escape responsibility. Our Constitution has the principle of collective responsibility that our entire council of ministers is accountable to the public. It was his government, and he had the power to stop things from happening. He should just resign and call for elections. It will save one more year of policy paralysis. Leadership is about taking a stand, even if it means standing alone for what is right. Manmohan Singh does as much work in a single day as Vajpayee did in a year, yet everyone misses Vajpayee. He indeed was one of our best prime ministers.

And you know I just saw an old Grey's Anatomy episode. There is a patient who is suffering from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He has to switch off the light ninety-six times, say the word clean three times -  these types, and say to Cristina that she is judging him. He says it is always the people like me who judge me the most. You are Type A student right? Straight A student, top of the class. Well, you have managed to turn your compulsions into something productive. But we are cut from the same cloth. That's why you can't stand me.

For an instant, I got really worried. Because I have these small superstitions like I have to check that the door is locked at least five times, the water tap is off odd number of times, and some other such things which I have to do before I go to sleep, else I won't get to sleep. And it made me scared for a minute..what if I have OCD later? Too much thinking but no...and as Meredith sums it up perfectly,

Superstition lies in the space between what we can control and what we can't. Find a penny pick it up, and all day long you will have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck, but does saying it 33 times really help? I mean is anyone really listening, and if no one is listening why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstition because we are smart enough to know we don't have all the answers, and that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the ju ju from wherever it comes.

And one strange thing is happening. I have noticed the attitude of some people has changed towards me. Recently, in the last few days, some friends are behaving very sweetly while some have become further apart. But it is alright. I do not know what has happened though. 

The weather is finally getting better. It was snowing till two days ago!!! Snow in May! But temperature finally reached in twenties during day today. 

Cannot wait for Bombay Talkies :( :( The title song is receiving flak from everywhere for being tacky. It is composed by the genius Amit Trivedi. But I am ok with it. I didn't find it as awful as the media is saying. But I guess I like tacky films, and I am tacky :{

I hear Karan's story is the best. He has left even Anurag Kashyap behind, and I have to have to watch. All my favorite directors in one film.

Finally, you must read Beth's post on 100 years of cinema. It is lovely. I like it when she says she loves Vasundhara Das. And after that, I am constantly humming Chalein Jaise Hawayein from Main Hoon Na. Vasundhara is so pretty; she acts, sings, and composes. This is what Wiki says,

Vasundhara Das (born 1977) is an Indian recording artist, songwriter, composer, actress, and environmentalist. Best remembered for her debut playback song "Shakalaka Baby" for the soundtrack of Mudhalvan (1999), Das went on to record many songs in Tamil, Hindi, Kannada, and Telugu and Malayalam feature films. She earned a nomination in Filmfare's best singer category for her songs "Aaja Gufaon Mein" and "Rabba Rabba" from the film Aks (2001).

Weren't those songs fantastic? And of course, the most famous of them all is "It's the time to disco." That reminds me, the next movie on the must-watch list is Aks. I still haven't seen it, and I will see it.

Aaja Gufaon Me Aa  - Aks

Read Beth's post here:

http://storify.com/bethlovesbolly/on-this-historic-day-here-are-some-things-i-love-a.html

More later.

Dialogue of the Day:

"Main janta hun aapko sahare ki zaroorat nahi, main sirf saath dene aaya hun."

—Shekhar, Tum Bin

Of Spring Ball, Kunti, Ram's Sister, and Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge

Long time no see..

Last week was the Prom Night or the Spring Ball or another fancy term for the farewell. I generally do not go out a lot as I feel so lost in parties but I decided to go this time. Not many people came though but I had the most fun. Probably the first time after coming here. As I have been feeling so lonely for the last few weeks, I thought it would be best if I go. And then I realized that you do need to let go of everything sometimes. Forget all worries, forget all tensions. And it worked. Even mom said go out and do not worry. I was happy being there as was evident in the pictures. There was a photo booth set up to click pictures in weird poses with weird things. We clicked so many pictures and I love each of them.

And as Meredith says, 

Make a plan. Set a goal. Work towards it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. ‘Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.

And the most funny thing is what M told me. M sends me a message that I look hot in these pictures. Hahahaha.. I couldn't stop laughing. I have been called everything before nice, cute, etc. but it was the first time I am called hot. On a scale of 1 to Bradley Cooper (I think a lot of people say he is hot), I rank -100 on hotness. Then I asked M why I look hot. So the reply comes that you look very happy in those pictures and so look hot. Haha.. I just said thank you :) Imagine me as hot.. even the thought is hilarious ;-)

I went to Des Moines. Finalized house for the summer. It is a studio apartment, will live alone. I traveled all alone in the city. It was a bit intimidating but as long as the Internet is there, it should be fine. Now will move in mid-May. 

And you know the reason I have been feeling lonely is perhaps I am missing a few things a lot. Even when I was in Delhi, I didn't go out much except that I used to watch a movie almost every Saturday morning. It made me happy and didn't feel the need to go out much. But here I am terribly missing the big screen. I have realized I will be happy in a place where I can watch Hindi movies on the big screen, find good food and 'chaat' and enjoy the rains. Perhaps all these requirements would make me call a city as good to live for me. I am really missing the first two here. And that is what making me really lonely and stuffed I guess. But theek hai.. I will be happy :)

And I have finally started reading The Palace of Illusions, about which I wrote earlier. It is still the beginning but there is an excellent passage on Kunti. Chitra says,

Adopted by her uncle, the childless Kuntibhoj, she had no brothers to cherish her, no sisters to confide in, no mother to turn to for consolation. Her marriage to Pandu - one of political convenience - wasn't happy. Almost immediately he took Madri as his second wife and lavished affection on her. Soon afterward, Pandu was cursed by a brahmin. He left his kingdom in the hands of his blind brother, Dhritarashtra, and went to the forest to do penance. As faithful wives, Kunti and Madri, too, left the comforts of the court and accompanied him. Years passed. The children appeared. But one day, Pandu, no longer able to resist, embraced Madri. He died. The guilt ridden Madri chose no to live on. Kunti, devastated though she must have been both by her husband's death and his last act, gathered all her willpower. She brought the five princes back to Hastinapur, making no distinction between those of her children and those of her rival. She was determined no one would cheat them out of their inheritance. For years, she struggled  a widow alone and in disfavor, to keep them safe in Dhritarashtra's court, until finally, now they were grown. 

We all know Kunti's story but I never reflected on her until then. Add to it the ignominy of the birth of Karan, Kunti was perhaps the most troubled character in the Mahabharata.

There is a beautiful passage in the book on how Draupadi actually fell in love with Karan at first sight but it was Krishna's shenanigans that she forgot about him and later marries Arjun. 

And call it a big co-incidence, during the last week, Devdutt Pattanaik, the guru of all mythology books, wrote a terrific piece in Mid-Day on the elder sister of Ram. My favorite book by Devdutt is The Pregnant King, about a king called Yuvanashva in the time of Mahabharata, who accidently drinks the magic potion that makes him pregnant. The book talks about some concepts on gender and humanity with some great references to Shikhandi, Amba, Draupadi, and Ardhnareshwar among others. Read it. So he says that Ram had an elder sister.

Valmiki Ramayan does not mention Ram’s sister, however, in the Mahabharata we learn of King Lompada who adopts the daughter of Dashrath. In later literature, this daughter of Dashratha becomes Ram’s elder sister, Shanta. In Telugu folk songs she is described as being furious when Ram abandons Sita following street gossip. According to the Oriya Ramayan, following adoption, Shanta is given in marriage to Rishyashringa, a sage whose celibacy causes drought in Lompada’s kingdom. Following the marriage, the rains come back. This tale is consistent with the traditional theme of Vaishnava literature that condemns absolute abstinence which is seen as world-denying hence world-destructive.

Though Dashrath seems to have fathered Shanta without any difficulty, he is unable to father any more children. Dharma insists that a man must father a son and continue his lineage and that a king must produce an heir for the throne. A desperate Dashrath therefore marries a second and a third time. When nothing works, he decided to perform a yagna and compel the gods to give him a child.

The article here:

The story of Ram's elder sister

And last week I watched Mujhse Fraandship Karoge. I really wanted to watch it for some time and it is available on Netflix. So I saw it. I loved it. I was going ga-ga over Varun Dhawan's performance in Student of the Year but you actually have to see Saqib Saleem on his terrific debut. Not even one scene of any awkwardness before the camera.. almost flawless and natural. He was brilliant in the film. He would go places and he is actually playing a role in Bombay Talkies. Saqib is also the brother of Huma Qureshi (of Gangs of Wasseypur and Ek Thi Dayan fame) and he is also H's school friend. The film is very nice and so much better than Mujhse Dosti Karoge. I really really liked it. The character of Hacky was outrageously funny :D 

Hacky :D

At one point, Preity is just looking at the Facebook profile of Vishal as if looking to profile can compensate for the real talking. Haven't we all done that at some point in our lives? :(

Staring at the Facebook profile

And so does he..

And I loved this scene when Preity says she fell in love with Vishal and will get over it.

:{

And Kareena got the NDTV Entertainer of the Decade award at the Indian of the Year ceremony. I was so happy. She totally deserves it. I think she is awesome :)

I don't have a lot to write. Exams from next week. Super hectic weeks ahead :\

More later.

Dialogue of the Day:

उन दिनों Internet नहीं था न..No SMS.. short messaging service..In short, कैसे वो हज़ार बाते कहोगे जो आपका दिल कहना चाहता है. एक smiley में वो कहाँ बात है जो class के across उसकी आँखों में देख के smile करने में है..लोग पहले teachers, parents, या दुसरे students से छुप कर प्यार करते थे लेकिन आज कल तो एक दुसरे से छुप कर प्यार करते है.. Library shelves और पेड़ों के पीछे साथ साथ छुपने के बजाय आज कल लोग एक दुसरे के सामने हो कर भी computer screen के पीछे छुप जाते है.. Internet connection की speed से प्यार होता है और उतनी आसानी से log out भी जो हो जाता है..If I think about it, कैसे किसी की clever bio line या उसकी display picture से किसी को प्यार हो जाता ..प्यार तो किसी साँस लेती लड़ती, झगड़ती, गुस्सा होती complex, complicated, sweet, idiotic, pretty amazing सी लड़की से होता है।। 

 - Vishal, Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge

Of Student Of The Year...

So finally I managed to catch Student Of The Year. Given that there are no Hindi movie theaters here, I have to wait for a really long time to watch movies in a good print online :( 

Whatever Ram Gopal Verma thinks of Karan Johar's style of cinema, I am a big fan of him. I mean I have grown up watching his films. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai came out in 1998 (Class Sixth), Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham in 2001 (Class Ninth), Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna in 2006 (Second Year in College), My Name Is Khan in 2010 (First Year In The Job) and Student Of The Year in 2013 (First Year of MBA). Except perhaps, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham of which I am not a big fan, I like the others with Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna being the most favorite. Naturally, I was super excited for Student Of The Year. Did I like it? Yes. Did I love it? No

Student Of The Year (SOTY) is about finding the student of the year in a school named St.Teresa. The main characters of the film are Rohan (Varun Dhawan), Abhimanyu (Sidharth Malhotra), Shanaya (Aliya Bhatt), Sudo (Kayoze Irani), and Yogindra Vashisht (Rishi Kapoor). The story is fairly simple and nothing unpredictable happens but what I really really liked about the film was Varun Dhawan. He was brilliant in the film, and this being his first film he displayed a great potential of being a good actor. Varun plays Rohan Nanda, son of a rich industrialist father who is emotionally troubled from inside because his father never loved him. He was never the good son of his father. You might hate him in the beginning but eventually you realize that he is not a bad guy. He is as he says confused. Varun brings a charming vulnerability to Rohan's character and even though Abhi was the underdog, I was rooting for Rohan all the while. He is really good in some of the emotional scenes.

Karan creates this fantasy school which we know we are not going to find in reality. It is the ability to create a fantasy world, where everyone wears designer labels, the guys have the perfect abs, the girls have the perfect bodies, everything is so spotlessly clean, which is Karan's strength. You can accuse him of being unreal but not even one shot in the film can be called tacky. His cinema is the exact opposite of Anurag Kashyap's realism. The songs are beautifully shot and choreographed. I liked Ishq Wala Love but Vele was Honey Singh-types foot tapping.. loved it. 

My favorite scene in the movie was the sequence at the wedding of Rohan's brother when Abhi realizes he is in love with Shanaya. It is a beautiful scene where none of the three characters speak but through the emotions they portray their feeling.

Secretly in love with Shanaya..

Takes off her earing.. 

Because she looks good with her hair coming forward

Rohan takes her hand from Abhi..

He will keep the earing for himself

Rohan hopes they too get married..

Loved the scene..

Karan's strength is romance and without a doubt, he creates the feeling of love brilliantly. The song Ishq Wala Love has been lampooned at every forum (check Q-Tiyapa) but I think it is splendidly shot. It reminded of the song Tumhi Dekho Na from Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. All the three characters are wearing the same color dress, in a way signifying that they are all in love. In fact, every song is shot beautifully.

One of my other favorite scenes was when Rohan realises that Abhi too is not loved by his family, so he just comes and gives a hug to Abhi, with out saying anything. Later in the film, after Abhi's grandmother dies, Shanaya comes and does the same to Abhi. I loved both the scenes. That sometimes you do not need words..all you need is a hug :(

This also reminded me of my favorite scene from Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu.

:(

I also really liked the film's message that friendship and relationships are more important than winning a competition.

Dost to sabhi ke hote hain, lekin school college ke doston ki baat hi kuch aur hoti hai. Maa baap ki tarah samajhte hai humein vo dost, jaante hai vo dost. Takraar, jalan, competition chahe kisi bhi daur se guzar jaye yeh dosti, dil pe uska koi asar nahi hota.

That was a very important theme of the movie but I got a bit confused by what the film is trying to say in the end. In the final scene, Sudo accuses Dean Vashisht of breaking the friendship between all his friends because of starting this Student Of The Year competition. He says that the dean is a lonely guy and he has done this for his own entertainment because he is a gay man. This particular scene astounded me. Competitions are held in every school..what does that have to do with the principal being gay?!?! The purpose of competition is to prepare one for the life ahead because everywhere there is competition. It is you who has to learn to live with it. You have to overcome that feeling and take it sportingly. That doesn't mean you stop competing. Friends are important in everyone's life but you have to accept that in some things, your friends are better than you. Who is asking you to spoil the relationship with your friends? Eventually, these things will not matter and you have to overcome that feeling because life is a competition.

Which is why I agreed with one scene in the film when they are discussing about the competition,

Shruti says "Let's face it guys, agar hume ek hi jagah pahuncha hai to doston ke beech competition to hoga hi". Then Rohan says, "iska matlab khud jeetne ke liye tum apne best friend ko hara dogi". And then Abhi says, "haan".

Interestingly, at one point Shruti is shown reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. And of course, we all know what Ayn Rand is famous for: the theory of objectivism, the theory of being selfish, competition, free markets, capitalism. Perhaps it is Rand's influence that forces Shruti to make the above statement and tries to persuade Shanaya to drop out.

There is no escaping from Ayn Rand :)

If I think of my life, I find it so funny that when I was in the engineering college, there was so much competition. Uski kitni percentage ayi, uska kitne package ka job laga. And of course, one feels some  jealousy. As they said in 3 Idiots, jab khud fail hote ho toh bura lagta hain, lekin jab apke dost top kare, toh aur bhi bura lagta hain. But think of it now, it is four years since college is over and now did those things matter now? How many people are you in touch with? Only a few close friends no? Yes, I did not have the highest salary package, I might have earned less, but each of us have our different lives and priorities. A friend who just sent me the pictures of her wedding which she has not shown to anyone, a friend who came to the US and told me he really wants to meet, and a friend who told me that she is going to one of the top universities in the US. I might not be as smart as them, I might not be as rich as them but I feel good that they value me. But their circumstances are totally different than me. And somehow of late, I have become a very strong believer in luck. My philosophy in life is give your best effort, and then leave it. Que sera sera. It is frustrating at times. It will, of course, not work out the way I want but what else can I do? I gave my best shot no? And it is this competing feeling that we have to overcome. I am, in fact, going through the same competing phase in the B-school where everyone is desperate for a job and competition is literally cut-throat. I always try to convince myself that some things are not made for you. Even if I get a really high paying job, will I be really happy? Because I like to do some other things and for me, job is a way to get money so that I can live my life. Maybe it is a defeatist attitude but I know my capabilities. All I need is satisfaction. We have to learn somehow compete without effecting our feelings.

I also felt in a few places that the film advocated inaction instead of doing the right thing. When Coach Shah had to decide who should be the captain of the team out of Abhi and Rohan, he avoids confrontation and makes Jeet the captain. Do you think it was the right approach? Shouldn't the better captain be chosen? 

You remember how brilliantly Chak De! India tackled this issue. Kabir confronted the two players - Preeti and Komal  - that they played for themselves instead of the team? 

Coaches have to take tough decisions and that is what they are for, no?

Another thing that was disturbing was the character of Rohan's mother. She just doesn't say anything. Her husband insulted Rohan all the time and treated her like a servant. Shashi in English Vinglish was criticised because she didn't say anything to her kids. During the climax, Rohan's father is supporting Abhi because he doesn't want his son to defeat him. His mom just didn't say anything at all in the film, just kept crying. Perhaps it was the realism that Karan wanted to show but in a film about competition and standing for your self, shouldn't she have said something? 

The father doesn't even let her love her son!!

But perhaps the most disturbing part of the film was the character of the dean. The film said that gay people cannot be ever happy in life and they will die lonely. I mean why is that? Yes, they do have a difficult life but don't they have a right to be happy? Sudo says, hum jaise logon ko partner nahi milte. Because Sudo is fat and Dean is gay. Why it is that gay people can't have have someone in life? And as always, some of the worst stereotypes about gay people were shown in the film. Sexual innuendos ("I am all wet"), love for pink, etc. At so many times, Abhi and Rohan joked about being gay. Gay hai kya? Ab tu kiss to nahi karega, nahi main gale bhi nahi lagunga. When will our films stop showing them in such poor light? Critics and audiences hailed Dostana but I think it was one of the worst films to come out of Dharma Productions. Just treat them in a normal way. In fact, some critics have said that the chemistry between Abhi and Rohan is so strong that they seem a perfect couple.

To hammer through the idea that Abhi and Rohan share the most epic dosti imaginable, we are treated to every possible flirtation with homoeroticism you could possibly conjure up. There's the running joke of Abhi asking Rohan, "You're not going to kiss me, are you?" whenever their unmanly friendship feelings emerge, and Rohan typically counters it with, "I'm not going to even hug you!", right before he goes in for that all-important meaningful hug. Then there are the many meaningful looks, the casual sleepover Abhi has at Rohan's house and of course, the limp chemistry they have with Shanaya, compared to what they have with one another.

While it can be amusing and even cute at times, I wish dearly it wasn't in abundance here, because tucked away deep inside this sort of lazy comedy is what could've been the emotional heart of the SOTY - an actual, genuine, honest-to-god love story between two men. The two male leads have clear chemistry with one another. Not a whole lot of the plot would need to change; the flimsy characterization given to Shanaya almost seems to confirm the existence of the romance as subtext. The love triangle is never truly about her, and at one point the film gives her a rare moment of individual agency by having her get upset that the boys are squabbling over her. "You just want to own me!" she yells at them, because it's true: she's little more than a pretty accessory to both of them.

Just read this excellent post on the same. 

Diving into the aggravatingly shallow world of Karan Johar: Student of the Year

But still, I will say I liked Student Of The Year. It is a film with a heart. I wouldn't watch it again though. I so wish I had seen it on the big screen. I love melodrama. I miss Hindi films terribly :(

What are your views on the film?

Dialogue of the Day:

सपनों का कोई class नहीं होता
- Rohan, Student Of The Year