No Post..

My keyboard and touch pad not working :( I am writing this using the on-screen keyboard. Will try to write a post soon..the next two weeks are going to be difficult :{ Will write the details soon...

Dialogue of the day:
Zindagi ke rashan mein.. gham ka quota zyada hai..
Black mein khareedenge.. khushi ka pitara re..

- Gun Gun Guna Re, Agneepath

P.S.- A lovely song..

Of Cosmic Theory, Heart-in-a-Box, and Terrible Days...

Long time no see as always..This week again my cosmic connection theory came into play! In the last post, I had written about how I think one should tell the person about their feelings for someone. Now, this week I finally finished reading 'First Day First Show' and there is a delightful essay on Rekha. In the chapter Rekha says:

I am in love with someone I haven't met. It is a perfect image in my mind. I have had much more than love, such intense feeling overflowing and coming out of each hair and cuticle in my body. If it hasn't been real, it has been so strong in my imagination.

Q: Is this person a fantasy?

A: He is totally oblivious to what I feel for him. He has always been and will always be. He has no clue of what I feel for him. It is true and this is a huge confession.

Q: So why don't you just tell him?

A: No man or woman can know how the other person feels. There is no rule, no book, you do the best you can and not expect anything in return.

And this immediately made me think of what I wrote in my post..not to expect anything in return!! Cosmic connections!

 

Rekha's story is just so tragic..from abusive childhood to two unsuccessful marriages to a lonely existence. She is still in love with Amitabh Bachchan. The chapter on Rekha is beautifully written. 

And the last week, I had a not-so-good day at office and was feeling a bit low. I came back and watched two back to back episodes of Grey's and I could not believe it..the theme of the two episodes was exactly what I was feeling at that time. So in one episode, Cristina was given the task of watching an actual-beating heart that's been placed in a box until it can be transported to its new recipient. Cristina was not very thrilled at babysitting a live heart-in-a-box until Richard informs her that the heart-in-a-box is the key to everything. When she finally understand the miracle of a living heart-in-a-box, she says, 

“When you take an organ out for transplant, what do you do? You put it on ice and run to place it in the recipient's body. And then wait and hope for this cold, dead heart to warm up and come back to life, right? But “she” has never stopped beating. Never stopped being warm. Never stopped living. It’s a friggin miracle, okay? You’re standing before a miracle. I look at an item in my list and look at heart-in-a-box, and if that surgery is half as cool as the heart-in-a-box, then it's not worth my time. She lets you know what’s most important to you. That’s what heart-in-a-box does.” 

As I had written in my post, that what I am doing with my life, I could immediately relate to what they showed by heart-in-a-box..find things that are important to you!

And in the very next episode, they talk about terrible days and ends with this quote:-

I had a terrible day, we say it all the time. A fight with the boss, the stomach flu, traffic. That's what we describe as terrible, when nothing terrible is happening. When the really terrible things happen, we start begging to God to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn't it. The flood in the kitchen, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage, coffee spilled on our clothes. Would it have helped, if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives?

It was seriously a lesson for me. I was thinking I had a terrible day but then when you realize how terrible things can actually be, we wish for the less terrible things. Cosmic connections!!

And here's a brilliant analysis of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Devdas:

Every prop in the movie echoes an emotion. Devdas' house, off-white and green, reflects sophistication. Paro lives in a glass room, which mirrors her delicate and fragile beauty. While Paro's colors are a happy pink and blue, her in-laws' house in shades of red, reflecting claustrophobia. Chandramukhi's kotha is a festive gold, reflecting her character as a prostitute with a heart of gold!

Wow! I always say that Hindi movies are far more intelligent than they are given credit for. I want to write such stuff :( Guess, you either have it in you or you don't..and I don't.. 

Anyways, it is high time to put life on track..to divert mind..

I have got two books..first is 'Handwriting of the Famous and the Infamous' by Sheila Lowe..the book contains tips for handwriting analysis...always wanted to read such a book..now have one more thing to analyse ;) and the second book is the one which I always wanted to read "The Last Song of Dusk" by Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi..finally bought it!! I have just read the first page where he has dedicated the book to some one called Padmini.He writes

To Padmini, who, in her waltz with Fate,

found her toes stepped on...

What a beautiful way to dedicate a book..so deep and so tragic..

Anyways, more later..

Dialogue of the Day:

इतने चेहरों में अपने चेहरे की पहचान.. ओह हो.. पहचान ओह हो.. 

बड़े बड़े नामों में अपना भी नामों निशान ओह हो.. 

जीने में फिर तोह क्या बात हो..दिन नया और नयी रात हो..

याई रे याई रे..जोर लगाके नाचे रे

- Rangeela

:-|

There are some days when I feel so low, so low that I feel what am I doing with my life...I have come to this world for a purpose and hope I find it soon...

Of Telling, Missing, Grey's, Hitchens, Atheism, and CAT Result...

Long time no see..I have so many things to write about but don't know where to begin..

The last week M told me that one of his friends was going through a very difficult phase. The problem was that that his friend liked somebody who was already committed to someone else, but still M's friend wanted to express her feelings to her special someone. M advised her not to go ahead with it because in the end, only she will end up disappointed, and things might get a bit weird, so ultimately whatever friendship is there will also be affected. When you know, there is no hope for the future, why to tell in the first place. I have always been a supporter of the opposite view that one should always tell the person you like him/her as telling things will prevent you from feeling any regret later on. But there is one pre-condition - if you are telling, you should never ever expect any reciprocal feelings. If you are strong enough that you can live by it, then I don't see any harm in telling. But if you think that you cannot face rejection, and start behaving as if your life depends on it, then you are better off not telling because in the end you will end up being hurt. But it always feel nice when someone tells you they love you. Like in that Friends episode, where Rachel tells Ross that she is still in love with him.

Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?

Rachel: Yeah, I don't care.

Rachel: Okay. Ross, you know what, there's something that that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong. Okay, I think I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. I'm still in love with you Ross.

Rachel: Oh God, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?

Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is…

Rachel: The thing is know, that you're married to Emily.

Ross: That is what the thing is.

Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?

Ross: No. No. No, I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's always great when someone tells you they love you.

Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. 

Ross: No thank you for..Thank you.

So, you think one should tell or not?

You know last week, A wrote a sweet mail to me and she wrote that there is no one to talk to now and she misses me. And D sent me a message saying "I might never have been as close as H and A, but I still wanna say that I miss you and it would be great if we ever work together again." And it was very sweet of R to send me this message on FB "My Dear Pankaj... I read your blog today after so so many many days... and some of ur posts just brought a tear to my eyes...! I could not be there on your last day at TSC... but I can just say that.. u ll alwayz find me around... if I can be of any help to you ever! God bless alwayz alwayz. Cheers!" And yesterday, S sent me an e-mail, "I missed you very much today. I was listening to To Zinda Ho Tum and Bin Tere. How much we both liked it…I miss making those aimless conversations with you." It always brings tears to my eyes when I read such touching messages ya..makes me feel so loved and so not alone..that someone is there. I think after I have left office, as D told me that your popularity has increased. But seriously, I have never thought of myself as a person can be missed..because I don't speak much..so mera hona na hona ek barabar hai..doesn't make a difference..but it is always always nice when people miss somebody..Thanks so much ya. I also miss them all. We will always be in touch :)

Continued with watching episode 7 on Grey's Anatomy (Season 8).. Teddy just did the most amazing thing for Christina..she taught her humility and how to work in a team by telling her to go back to the basics..You cannot be the best unless you learn to be humble..so she makes her perform surgeries which a first year resident can perform like Appendicitis or Angioplasty rather than giving her the toughest of cardio-thoracic surgeries. What a brilliant scene that is when she finally explained to Christina that she is done..she has learnt the importance of team work..She says,

"I want you to make a list of every surgery you have ever dreamed of performing. Shoot for the moon and I will try to get you some. Because we are done. You have graduated. This is your present. At the beginning of the year, you nearly killed Alex in that OR because you just had to get in there...you had to be the best. and you had to be first but today I saw a different surgeon..every bit as good..every bit as advanced you were willing work on a team..today you put the patient before yourself and that was who I wanted to see, so you're done. Make a list!"

I like Teddy a lot! Grey's is awesome..learnt so much about medical procedures from it..in the last episode, they performed a penile transplant! And they are trying to find a cure for diabetes and Alzheimer's Seriously, watching it makes me feel that being doctors is so cool..(which is not true in reality)..they actually do life changing work..amazing it is..above all, Grey's has taught me so much about life..to learn to live with loss...that humans are imperfect..that death is just a second away..that life can change in seconds..too good it is..

I have been reading about Christopher Hitchens, who died last month. As an atheist, he simply hates the idea of religion. Though many would disagree, but his contrarian views on religion as so sound that it is simply too difficult to dismiss them. He says,

"I suppose that one reason I have always detested religion is its sly tendency to insinuate the idea that the universe is designed with 'you' in mind or, even worse, that there is a divine plan into which one fits whether one knows it or not. This kind of modesty is too arrogant for me.”

"Why, if God was the creator of all things, were we supposed to "praise" him for what came naturally?"

"If Jesus could heal a blind person he happened to meet, then why not heal blindness?"

"The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather than sufficient factors, but we distrust anything that contradicts science or outrages reason."

Very true..how can we disagree with him no? But as he says, we distrust anything that contradicts reason!

And talking about athiesm, I remeber reading a terrific post on Amit Varma's blog on atheism. He says,

Some people think that atheism means believing that there is no God. This is a flawed perception. The primary meaning of atheism that most dictionaries will give you, though there are secondary meanings that have evolved from bad usage, is of “disbelief” in God or a deity. That means that atheists are not people who believe that there is no God, but people who do not believe that there is God. The difference is huge.

The conviction that there is no God is irrational because one cannot prove a negative. (How do you prove that something does not exist?) However, it is entirely rational to not believe in something whose existence has not been demonstrated. 

It is a common mistake to view belief in God as running along a continuum in which we have theists (who believe), agnostics (who are undecided) and atheists (who don’t believe). This is based on a misunderstanding of agnosticism, which doesn’t deal with belief at all, but with knowledge. The word ‘agnostic’ is a combination of the Greek α (without) and gnōsis (knowledge), and refers to a person who believes that the truth about something, in this case the existence of God, is unknowable. It has nothing to do with believing or not believing.

Indeed, it is possible to combine agnosticism with either theism or atheism. A believer may choose to believe in God while accepting that some things are fundamentally unknowable. An atheist may agree with that view. I see myself as both an atheist and an agnostic: an atheist because I do not believe in God, as His/Her/Its existence has not been proved; an agnostic because I believe that on this matter, we may never know the truth for sure.

The complete must read post is here. Seriously, people are so brilliant! How succinctly he has explained the difference between atheism and agnosticism.

And this week CAT result also came out...am so so happy for H and A :) I seriously hope they get through. I remember A saying to H "this is going to be our year." I seriously hope it is their year..they deserve the best in life. I did not give CAT..it's not my cup of tea ya..or as they say meri aukaat nahi hai..hehe but I feel sad for people who inspite of getting a brilliant percentile didn't get a call because they didn't have marks in 10th and 12th..so sad..ab bhai a student in Class 10 doesn't even know what MBA is..but there is so much competition..but maybe agar main thora sharp hota to mujhe atleast Class 10 and 12 ke mamle me itni fight nahi hoti because I scored 92.6% in Class 10 and 95.4% in Class 12 and 81.6% in engineering. :) Yes, I was a good student...Anyway, as I told H, thora ladkiyon se dimaag hata kar pad lete to IIM A bhi call de dedeta..anyway, wish them all the best :)

Phew..kaafi lambi post ho gayi..I still have so many things to write about..will save that for next post...

Dialogue of the day:

You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end. - Dr.Teddy Altman, Grey's Anatomy

Of Maya in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna..

Long time no see.. I have been on a self proclaimed exile from social networks for about a week. Don't know why. Generally, so bored with everything. D said to me "You are just 24 and saying like this." I don't know but seriously am really bored. 

After talking to my college friend V, my desire to become a teacher has rekindled. I always wanted to be a professor but never gave it a serious thought. After I spoke with her, I want to become a professor. She is doing her PhD and she teaches a class of about 25 students in the US and she loves it. I don't want to work in the corporate environment like a mechanical worker for long. Maybe I can still try. At least, I will be learning something continuously. So cool it would be no?..Pankaj Sachdeva, Professor, English Literature/Economics at  Harvard University..winner of Nobel Prize for his work on the advent of surrealism in English poetry in Europe in the late 19th century..If Phoebe can get a Nobel for massage, then so can I :) Who am I kidding :( All I will end up is Google+Ctrl C+Ctrl V+PPT formatting..

This week the movie that I have been thinking is Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. As usual, notwithstanding the popular perception, I love this movie, although at 3.15 hours it tests your patience..but I like it. The character that most of us hate is of Maya. I mean how can she not fall in love with a guy like Rishi! He is such a good husband and Maya goes and sleeps with a cynical irritable Dev! I mean why Maya! In that introductory scene, 

माया: कभी कभी दोस्ती मोहब्बत की जगह ले लेती है, और फिर मोहब्बत के लिए जगह ही नहीं रहती|   इसका मतलब आप अपनी बीवी से मोहब्बत नहीं करते

देव: हम खुश हैं, हमने अपनी ज़िन्दगी बना ली है, सवाल तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी का है, ज़िन्दगी के जिस मक़ाम पर तुम हो वहा सिर्फ दो रास्ते हैं, एक खुशियों का, जो में चाहता हूँ की तुम्हे मिले, दूसरा इंतज़ार का, मोहब्बत के इंतज़ार का, जो हो सकता है, ज़िन्दगी भर ना मिले 

माया: और वो मोहब्बत मुझे शादी के बाद मिल जाये तो.. 

देव: नहीं ढून्धोगी तो नहीं मिलेगी..

Maya says that she loves Rishi but not in that passionate way..maybe after marriage she could find love if she tries. But did she try hard? I think not..she only took Rishi as a kid treating herself to be his mother. Maybe she never wanted to love Rishi in that way. Was she wrong? Maybe if she had tried some more..Rishi would have been a perfect husband! But love doesn't work that ways no? As Sam says in the end, 

मौत और मोहब्बत दोनों बिन बुलाये मेहमान है, वो किसी का साथ नहीं छोड़ते ..

Here is what one blogger says about Maya..

The effort put in by Maya is just a sham; it does not arises from her own interpretation of a successful marriage but from the sensibilities pushed from another failed marriage. You can instantly tell why Maya fall for Dev; they both are covered extensively inside the emotional turmoil. Their problems are more in the minds; less in reality. He can't play soccer any more, she can't be a mother any more. He has a broken leg, she has a broken womb. He is sick of his wife being serious all the time, she is sick of her husband being funny all the time. He is embittered by his professional shortcomings, she is disappointed with her personal failings. They are imperfect people trying to find perfection in their respective marriages; in turn making it even more imperfect.  In the end, which ever way you want to look at it...only she can fully make you comprehend the film's basic premise - Perfect lovers don't make perfect husbands, you need perfect, or almost perfect love to make a perfect marriage.

Very true..However, as much as we love to hate Maya, in an episode on We The People on KANK, Shah Rukh makes a very interesting point. He says that Maya and Dev both had an extra-marital affair, so why is only Maya being targeted? Wasn't Dev equally wrong? Is it because she is a woman why we love to hate her? Very interesting observation he makes! In fact, in that crackling scene in the movie when Rhea slaps Dev, she says would he have forgiven her if she had an affair? Very true! KANK was a landmark film in which a married woman has an affair without any strong reasons..usually it is the men who are the philanderers. From Guide to Astitva (another landmark film talking about female sexuality) to that TV show Saans, married women had affairs only if they were trapped in a love-less marriage..

But I feel so bad for Rishi. As they say, life is unfair..

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna had some crackling dialogues..

My personal favourite:

रीया: मेरा देव कही खो गया है

देव: खोया भी तो तुमने है..

देव: वैसे भी अजनबियों की बात सुन लेनी चाहिए, कभी कभी अजनबी अपनों से ज्यादा जानते हैं 

देव: कहते है वक़्त हर ज़ख़्म भूला देता, पर कुछ रिश्ते ऐसे होते है की वक़्त के साथ साथ हर ज़ख्म और भी गहरा हो जाता है ..

There are so many more lines I love and a haunting background score!

And also, I saw a part of Dil Chahta Hai again on this new channel called Sonic..Of course, every time I watch it, I learn about that movie. Now, there is the scene in which Aakash and Shalini are at the underground station and Aakash enters the train while Shalini is left behind..I was like wow! what a brilliant scene! 

They both don't say anything and yet they say everything..from that point Shalini probably realized that she likes Aakash as if he was going away from her..she was vulnerable and desperate to get along..Even Aakash felt something..otherwise given his nature, he would have made fun of her or asked her to wait and yet he feels locked out like he is leaving Shalini forever..Superb..I seriously love that movie like anything! Just look at their emotions..acting!!

Already said so many dialogues, so here is a statement that I loved from the weekly column Third Eye that Barkha Dutt writes..it is on the BJP..

The BJP’s mistake may lie in veering away from its right-of-centre ideological mooring when it comes to economics but remaining perilously right-wing on societal/religious issues. In modern India, it should be the other way around.

Perfect!

Of Last Post of 2011

Ab year end post to banta hai.. 2011 was a terrible year..seriously a terrible year.. Even mom said that this was a really bad year..Broken homes, broken marriages, losing people..things were not great in the family..and more to follow in the coming year. And I have not even mentioned things on the personal front which were even more troubling. I should refrain from doing that. Let it be. But there's no point blaming the year. Que sera sera..What will be, will be..whether it is 2011 or 2012. Papa also remains tensed these days. Today, we had a Prabhat Pheri at our house this morning. Hope things get better.

So, any new year resolutions? Yes, in addition to those of the last year which will continue onto next year, I have two proper resolutions

1. To stop being vulnerable in front of others..it is not going to help in the long run.. as they say हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें, दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें..
2. To read, read and more read..more insights, more about politics, movies, culture, art..more books..and also have a strong command over written English especially grammar rules and vocabulary..I so want to be an editor (though I write in a very informal way on the blog showing no regard for the rules :)) At least one new word every day I can learn..

Bas, nothing else for resolution..these two are more than enough.

Dialogue of the day:

' चाहत के दो पल भी मिल पाएं, दुनिया में यह भी कम है क्या ' - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Wishing you all a great year ahead..

Of Christmas, Fortune Cookie, Don 2, Conversations and Living On...

Merry Christmas everyone. Seema Goswami writes beautifully about Christmas:

If you ask me, Christmas is the greatest triumph of our syncretic Indian culture: that our festivals retain their religious significance even as they are celebrated across religious lines. Contrast this with the West where political correctness now dictates that you should say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas’’ for fear of giving offence to some minority or religious group.

Totally agree..

And before I forget I wanted to write about something else as well. I had gone for dinner at Fortune Cookie at my last unit outing. Now, as we know after you finish your meal there, they give a cookie which contains your fortune. Just as that silly and irritating Facebook app that I have permanently blocked as spam on my feed. But I like doing these stupid things although I don't believe in them. So D who was sitting next to me got his fortune as "There will be pressure at work, but you will sail through." D is actually doing a very difficult project but I know he will sail through :). And H got his fortune as, "You will soon be gifted by a close friend."  Now, this is so true. We had gone on Wednesday and Friday was my last day. I had planned to give him something on my last day. So true no? These inane things sometime become so true. Haina? And you what I got as my fortune? "You will never be last. You will always excel." I don't know whether it is true or not :( I can only wish..

I start a new phase of my life tomorrow. I am going to miss all my friends and am going to miss my old office :( But as the cliche goes, life moves on. Scared, nervous..these are the feelings what I am experiencing. Theek hai..I will try to be positive :) 

I also liked Don 2. The thing with me is that I don't watch English action movies much (I love Hindi movies more!!!)..so I haven't seen all the movies that it has been ripped off from - Ocean's Eleven, Mission Impossible. I liked the movie but I still feel Don 1 was better in terms of story and drama. This was more of a one dimensional movie focused only on the robbery but in terms of characters Don 1 was better. By Don 1, I mean the Farhan Akhtar one..not the original which I still haven't seen completely. There were no great dialogues..no edge of the seat moments but I loved the way it has been shot. You can make out it is Farhan's style. 

I also called J to wish her Christmas. Whenever I talk to her, I feel happy because she makes me feel so happy. So today when I called her, she told me that cab bhaiya was saying good things about me. Now what happened is that there was this fellow C in my cab (J and I used to call him by many names with this letter :P) but let's call him late-latif :P It was my first pick up and then I used to go to his place. And now C has the first pick up, so as his name goes he comes by his own sweet time. And has the audacity to blame driver bhaiya that he comes late. J told me that this led to an argument in which he said that "P never used to come late, instead he had to wait for me. He was always on time." Chalo is bahane C ki akal thikane ayegi ki it's bad manners to let someone wait for you every single day :P Chalo bahut buraai kar di C ki..itna bura bhi nahi hai vo..thora spolit hai..Ab mujhe kuch nahi bolna chahiye uske bare me. Wish him all the best.

It is my sister's birthday today. My mom's Santa Claus :P I just wish things get better. Mummy remains worried these days :( 

Anyways, lots of work still left...and lots and lots of more things to say..Long time no see..

Dialogue(s) of the day:

From Hum Tum:

Riya: Karan, बात ऐसी थी  की मैं इंडिया में रहती तो Mumma और मेरे रिश्तेदार मेरी दोबारा शादी की बात करते रहते.. Sameer के जाने के बाद मेरा इन सब बातों से मन उठ चूका था.. किसी के जाने के बाद भी प्यार थोड़ी न कम हो जाता है ..Sameer का पयार मेरे साथ हमेशा रहेगा.. I will always love him.

Karan: I can understand that.. इसका यह तो मतलब यह तो नहीं की तुम अपनी ज़िन्दगी फिर से शुरू नहीं कर सकती..You can't stop living nah?

Like it when she says, किसी के जाने के बाद भी प्यार थोड़ी न कम हो जाता है...very true. and he says, but you have to keep on living. This reminds me of this post of mine.

The lovely scene here..winner of Filmfare Best Scene of the Year 2004.. Bye for now

वोह है सबसे बुरा..

Anupama Chopra writes the following lines about Dil To Pagal Hai.

Karishma Kapoor, who picked up the role after Juhi Chawla, Manisha Koirala, Urmila Matondkar, and Kajol had turned it down, is simply superb. She gives her heartache a quiet elegance and grace.

Reading this immediately reminded me of that superb scene from the movie where Rahul and Nisha are sitting by the poolside.

निशा: राहुल, तुम नहीं जानते, मैं अच्छी लड़की नहीं हूँ, देखो न एक लड़का है मैं जिसे बहुत प्यार करती हूँ   और हमेशा से करती आई  हूँ और आज मुझे पता चला की वो मुझसे नहीं किसी और से प्यार करता है..तो मुझे अच्छा नहीं लग रहा है. दर्द हो रहा है. गुस्सा आ रहा है, जलन हो रही है.. मुझे ऐसा नहीं लगाना चाहिए राहुल.. मैं बहुत बुरी हूँ

राहुल: बुरी तुम नहीं हो..पता है बुरा कौन है..वोह है सबसे बुरा..वो हम इंसानों के साथ अजीब तरह के खेल खेलता है.....वोह एक को दूसरे से प्यार करवाता है और दुसरे को तीसरे से...और तीसरे को किसी और से प्यार करवाता है...पता नहीं ऐसा क्यों करता है...

It's a brilliant scene and as far as I remember this scene also won the award for the best scene at Zee Cine Awards. 

I am a big fan of all such characters (Vanraj, Sid, Anjali, Deepa, Cuckold, George, Rachel, Aditya...) who deal with one-sided love with grace, maturity and poise...maybe because I look up to such people to deal with my own hopeless situation :( Anyways, more later.

Of Geet's Philosophy on Life...

आदित्य: सब कुछ जो इंसान चाहता है, वो मिलता कहाँ है यार?

गीत: क्यों? मुझे तो लगता है की इंसान जो कुछ भी real में चाहता है ना, actual में उसको life में वोही मिलता है...

************************************************************************************************************

आदित्य: गीत, तुम बहुत बड़े problem में फँस सकती हो. Do you realize that? सिर्फ हंसी, खेल तमाशा नहीं होती यार life. Life में serious होना होता है. 

गीत: तुम तो life में बहुत serious थे आदित्य. क्या फायदा हुआ? बहुत बड़े problem में तो तुम भी फँस गए ना?

आगे क्या होने वाला है, उसपर किसी का control तो है नहीं. तो ऐसे में मैं वोही करती हूँ, जो मेरा दिल कहता है. कल को मैं किसी और को blame नहीं करना चाहती की जी तुम्हारी वजह से मेरी life खराब हो गयी. मेरी life जो भी होगी, मुझे पता होगा की मेरी वजह से ऐसी है. तो I’ll be happy. 

Things will just turn out fine. P, you have to accept somethings. Somethings are not made for you. Try to be happy. Don't worry.


Here's another fascinating insight on the movie. At one point, Aditya says: "Ek time that music se bada passion nahin tha meri life mein."

Geet's name means 'song', and eventually she becomes the music of his life. Hindi films are far more intelligent than they are given credit for!

Also, I found the complete script of Jab We Met. Reading a film script is a different experience. You can find the script at this link. Worth keeping and especially of a film like Jab We Met.

Of Ma and Mama...

Ever since my renewed fascination with Luck By Chance, I am constantly thinking of what that movie is trying to say. A detailed post is in the offing but I have been reminded of another of my all time favorite movie - Taal. I loved Taal, notwithstanding its mediocre performance at the Box office. Now, there's this scene where Anil Kapoor talks about his ideals. He says his mom told him to follow certain principles which were

• प्यार बलिदान से ही महान होता है
• नेकी कर दरिया में दाल
• कर्म कर, फल की इच्छा मत कर 

And then he says followed this principles for some time but it didn't take him anywhere..all he could do was end up as a background musician playing छैना..

However, then his Mama told him some other ideals which he should follow these principles if he wants to be successful in life, which are as follows

• प्यार सही लेन देन से ही मज़बूत  होता है
• नेकी कर पहले खुद से, फिर दूसरों से..
• बिना फल के सब कर्म बेकार है 
• इमानदारी से ज्यादा ज़रूरी है दुकानदारी
• Competition से जीतने के लिए ज़रूरी है जलन, इर्ष्या
• अमीर बनने के लिए ज़रूरी है लालच..
• बड़ा बनने के लिए ज़रूरी है दूसरों को छोटा दिखाना..

Ans he ends up as a millionaire!

By my own experience, I feel that the 'Mama' philosophy will help you survive in this world, but this has made me question many things - Can good people not survive here then? Will they be always left behind? Why do we have to do something by going against our grain? I really don't know.

Dialogue of the day:

ना प्यार, ना दोस्ती, ना इश्क, ना मोहब्बत, nope. दिल का खेल बताइये, दिल मत दीजिये. हम दर्द बेचते हैं खरीदते नहीं हैं

P.S. - At the end, when Vikrant (Anil Kapoor) realises that Mansi (Aishwarya Rai) will never be happy with him, he lets go of her. So, eventually, the mom principles triumph as प्यार बलिदान से ही महान होता है. But what happened to Vikrant after that? Did he go back to his simple ways? Did he survive? We don't know!

P.P.S. - Did you know that  Taal was selected by the idol-of-us-all-wannabe-critics Roger Ebert for his 2005 Overlooked Film Festival!!

Of Last Day Emotions and Mummy..

Yesterday was my last day at my first job. I got selected on August 10, 2008 from campus, joined on October 19, 2009, resigned on October 31, 2011 and finally left on December 16, 2011. Life completely changes when one leaves college. I am that sort of a person who doesn't like stepping out of my comfort zone. But as I now again step out of comfort zone, I am again feeling that sense of insecurity. My life of the last two and a half years is now going to change. I didn't cry when I left school. I didn't cry when I left college but I cried the most when I left yesterday :( My friends have supported me so much during these two years - I am so indebted to them. I am not going to see them now everyday :( But as they say, you have to move on. I have taken certain decisions after a lot of thinking, I am taking some risks, I hope it doesn't boomerang on me.

I don't know what happened yesterday..maybe it was because only me who was leaving (as compared to college when everybody leaves) while my friends are here, that gave me a feeling of being left out. When I went to meet J for the last time, I couldn't hold myself and she also started crying :( J is my inspiration, even after going through so much in life, she always has a smile on her face. And after I gave a card to N, she also started crying after reading it :( And A (who is just like me as a person) also took me to a room and she told me certain things that I should do and she was also crying :( 

And I couldn't face A the entire day because I know she was upset, and I couldn't meet her alone else :( And I randomly said to H, that I am leaving, so mujhe miss kar lena..and he said P aise mat bol, varna I will actually start crying..you know how much I am going to miss you :( A and H have done the most for me, been there for everything, listened to me, guided me..

Ab bhai sab nahi ro dho rahe the :)..S came to my seat and wrote a thank you note for me, J came specially from LA with the super cool Santa cap :), R brought something that is so me..and everyone else A, R, D, D, D and so many others..I will write more about them later.

And S called me in her room and talked to me for about 15-20 minutes. She said a very sweet thing that I am an introvert version of her, it's just that she speaks more and I don't speak much but as a person, we have the same likings, same opinion..but said that she understands that smarter people have smarter aspirations..

But the biggest surprise for the day was when I came home and showed my gifts to mummy and she also saw what all things I had kept on my desk. She got so emotional, so emotional! (I really don't know why!!) that she said I didn't know that people like you so much. She said that in the future also, people will like you and you will do very well. She said she will keep these gifts forever and will show them to my kids :| My mom has too much expectations from me..Maybe I should tell her that she shouldn't think too much of me, she might be disappointed if she has high hopes :P

And today morning, I woke up and read a message in my cell that said, "I miss you already. Please come back." :( 

I will write more about the last days in later posts..

Interesting? Me??

Ok..Hello again..Long time no see :)

This post is a narcissist one considering my penchant for self deprecation, this one might be too OTT :\ But I still want to write because it made me really feel good..

So, yesterday a new member joined our team in office. Whenever someone joins, our team has this new ritual attached. Like sometimes we don't have to introduce ourselves, the person sitting next to us has to introduce you..or sometimes it is like that you have to share one thing about you which no body knows..these types..

So, yesterday, the different part was that along with your introduction, you have to say who your favorite/interesting person in the unit (team) is..this was a bit of surprise that could lead to allegations of favoritism but it's ok..So, one by one people started saying who they found the most interesting person in the unit..clearly, R has a massive fan club in the unit..almost everybody in the team said that he is a very interesting person to talk to..

And you know what three people took my name :) I felt nice..So who were these people.

First was H :) He said P is his favorite person in the unit because he is a very interesting person to talk to and one could share anything with him :) :) :) And then he joked later "I said the truth what it is.. lekin zyada seriously mat lio isko theek hai.."  

And the second one who took my name was S..She said as a unit head she should not take names of people who are her favorite as for her all are equal but in terms on interesting people there are two people she likes and they were P and A..And then she said that P is one of those quiet people who would sit in a corner and mentally dissect about characters..on the symbolic metaphors in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge and would tell her trivia like in Luck By Chance, how the refrigerator that is endorsed by Hrithik Roshan stands for being cool..and he writes blogs analyzing various characters..and someone who is very interesting to talk to..And he has started this cryptic Cinema Paradiso quiz about movies..
I felt nice and I think it's all because of J that she knows I write..I have never told her that I write, it is only J who made her read it once..thank God, she hasn't read my other non-film posts..she would then realize how interesting I really am :(

And finally, the third person who took my name was D! He said he has started talking to me recently in the last one month and he has found that although he is quiet but P has an opinion on many things. And there is this thing with him that when you are around him, you feel a bit vulnerable and you can talk to him about anything. And can share a lot of your secrets. He then said that he has told many of his secrets to me and he knows I will not tell these around. Again, I felt nice especially D saying this..Ok D, of course, I won't tell who your latest crush in office is ;P Thanks so much anyways..

Honestly, I consider myself as a very boring person with no social etiquette but I felt nice when three people in my team think I am interesting..

So, whose name did I take? I actually took two names. One of course, H, that goes without saying. Because he is one person I can say anything without thinking of the consequences and can talk to him about any topic..And the second name I took was of S. And I said she is more of a friend rather than unit head and I could discuss about life, relationships, higher ends of life, people and have interesting philosophical discussions with her..

So after that there was an office party at Urban Pind in GK. I got so drunk for the first time ever..had about five drinks and my head was spinning..don't know how people have so much capacity..but it was nice.. Since it was going to be my last official party, I could see people trying to cheer me up..A, J..my usual partners :) even R!! And H got so drunk that he was out as always..He hugged me for so long, wouldn't let me go and kept on saying, Pankaj, tu bhi ja raha hai :( Now the sinking feeling on not being able to see these special people has started..

Dialogue of the day:

उन्हें मत भूलो जो तुम्हे तब जानते थे जब तुम कुछ नहीं थे..क्यूंकि बस येही है जो तुम्हे हमेशा सच बोलेंगे - Luck By Chance

Fits perfectly..no? 

Anyways, as always, catch you later..

सपनो से भरे नैना, तो नींद है न चैना..

Hmmm..

Someone called me a psuedo-intellectual yesterday :( I think that's the worst thing anyone could say..sob sob..I didn't feel bad because it's true in a way..that's what I am going to be all y life...pretentious :(

It's been a dull weekend..since Friday night, I am experiencing a *strange* feeling.. missing someone badly :( 

The worst feeling is being forgotten by someone you will never forget..

I have seen three terrific films in the last week - Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, Zoya Akhtar's Luck By Chance and Milan Luthria's The Dirty Picture (this one was not exactly terrific save Vidya Balan).. Each of it deserves a separate review..will write about the first two for sure soon..if only I get time..so much other work to do :\

I am in love with Luck By Chance all over again..such a terrific movie..a movie with one of the most detailed characters ever..will write more in detail for this one for sure..super it is..

Dialogue(s) of the day:

Luck by Chance:
इतने दिनों तुमने किसी और पर भरोसा किया..अब अपने आप पर भरोसा करो..मौके मिलते नहीं सोना, बनाये जाते हैं, कामयाबी हम तक नहीं आती, हमें कामयाबी तक जाना होता है..अपने रास्ते पर चलते रहो..चलते रहो..धीरे धीरे सारी दुनिया तुम्हारे रास्ते पर आ जाएगी..

कामयाबी और नाकामी इंसान खुद ही चुनता है.. Success and failure are choices we make..

Pyaar Ke Side Effects:

अपने सपनो को पूरा करने की कोई उम्र नहीं होती..

More about Luck By Chance in coming posts..

सपनो से भरे नैना, तो नींद है न चैना..

Of Biggest Problem...

You know P, what's your biggest problem is? Your heart stops your brain from believing in yourself.


I totally agree :-\

If you can avoid peer pressure on campus..

Here is what I found on the Internet..We all know these points already but still worth a read.. I totally agree with 42, 43 and 44. If you can avoid peer pressure, then truly you are on path to becoming great!

1)      If you think an IIM admit is your ticket to happiness, you’re already bracing yourself up for a lot of misery. Think ‘experience’ and you’ll just about get by

2)      Unless you are dropping the idea of doing an Indian MBA or are going abroad (to a ‘better’ place) it is foolish to reject an offer from any of the IIMs(at least the top 6) for something better next year. Selection criteria of IIMs are as unpredictable as Sreesanth’s form with the ball. CAT has become a little like shooting in the dark and hoping for the best.

3)      There is not necessarily any correlation between efforts and (at least short term) rewards… In fact more often than not it does not exist

4)      It’s all about doing the right things rather than doing everything

5)      Most people in an ‘Indian’ Institute of Management still  feel they are representing their state here

6)      No one likes attending guest talks. Somehow most speakers are made to believe that they are really wanted. Most young speakers promise not to bore by being short and ‘interactive’ and they do exactly the opposite

7)      It is all still ‘Sarkari’. Very Sarkari

8)      Fresher girls get placed fast and easily so. A boring engineer with IT work ex of over 3 years is a pain for the placement committee

9)      Bigger the batch size, higher the free riding

10)   Everyone ‘globes’. Even those who call others globers.

11)   Facebook stalking of girls who could join your IIM is rampant. That guys in most IIMs are desperate is an understatement.  Professors, Students and Recruiters – all are.

12)   It is still ABC and the rest.  But the good news is that L is almost there and I,K are catching up fast

13)   Directors of all IIMs always want more girls in their incoming batch. Very few succeed

14)   There are a lot of professors who are there just to make up the numbers. There is a severe crunch of quality faculty across IIMs

15)   Everyone has a view on reservations but is too uncomfortable a topic to talk about openly

16)   Everyone complains about mess food. No matter how many times you change the contractor, no matter which IIM you go to. Someone will always complain

17)   Participate in B-school events. They are fun and an excellent opportunity to meet new people.  About 50% of the batch goes/plans to go home or on a trip when their institute’s fest is on. Quite a shame

18)   IIMs and ethics don’t really go hand in hand

19)   Alumni play a bigger role than you can imagine. Follow them, network with them and make them happy.

20)   Read cases. There are no rules to solve them and it is one place where you can combine creativity with intelligent analysis. If nothing they are nice stories to read.

21)   Never miss a good professor’s class. They are a rarity and you may take back life’s lessons

22)   Plagiarism is rampant and often excused. Good professors will make you pay for it

23)   Teaching associates check your exam papers. With burgeoning batch sizes that’s the way ahead. There is always a question on how qualified they are.

24)   Student exchange in Europe is really cool. 5^th terms can get extremely boring, especially if you have a PPO or/and you are not part of the B-School festivals in your institute nor are you participating in some.

25)   It takes courage to be different in a B-School. Being courageous also means sacrifice

26)   Higher the degree of honesty, greater the chances of you being in trouble

27)   100% placements of QUALITY is a relic of the past.  That concept doesn’t even make headlines anymore. It’s all about the big names, big money.

28)   Big money can make a mockery of all your loyalty towards a particular profile or domain during placements. In desperate times, placement policies force such an effect.

29)   Batches of 2009 and 2010 are 2 of the unluckiest batches since liberalization across IIMs but more specifically at L,I,K

30)   There is little value addition in most classes. That time can be used so much better. However, it is professor dependent. A good professor can make attending lectures a delight. Even the laziest bums on campus will work when a good professor is around.

31)   PPT styles and videos of a lot of professors are of an era gone by long ago.

32)   Communication lectures are the most abused but no other course is as important as written and oral communication. Ask people who have just been placed.

33)   Microsoft Office is more important than any other software in the life of an IIM grad. Mastery over MS-Excel and MS-PowerPoint can take you places.

34)   The probability of you getting into Mckinsey and Co. when you’re taking the CAT is less than 0.02%.

35)   Entrepreneurship is cool. Being an entrepreneur while being on campus is cooler.

36)   Pagalguy.com is part of B-school folklore now. It’s already a case study in IIM Bangalore and IIM Indore. It’s a lot of fun to see real life personalities of people whom you have made an image about while interacting on pagalguy. Double thumbs up to pagalguy.

37)   It is a Post Graduate Programme in Management with a degree called PGDM and not a MBA.

38)   Sports meets are awesome fun.

39)   No one has a clue what they want to do with their life. Most just pretend that they know

40)   Sometimes almost everyone seems better than you.

41)   You will never get time for yourself.  Trust me; it’s a good state to be in.

42)   Do as many activities as possible on campus. It may be the last chance before you get back into the real world.

43)   If you can avoid peer pressure on campus, you’re already on your way to becoming great.

44)   No matter where you are, you will always feel something else is better.

45)   It is not very easy to win B-school competitions. Respect the ones who do.

46)   Generally it is clear from class participation/desperate class participation who has substance and who has the faff. Quality interactions between faculty and students are rare.

47)   Never miss out on a rural stint. It can be life changing.

48)   Never grudge anyone their success. Just know that if you’re working hard, your time too shall come.

49)   Nothing is more important than networking. If you fail to know at least 70% of your batch and 50% of junior batch, then you have missed out on a golden opportunity. ( You can make adjustments to the stats if batch sizes are huge or/and if you’ve gone on an exchange programme  )

50)   Over 99% of the people in your age group in this country will happily swap places with you. No matter what the B-school communities say, you’re lucky to be in an IIM.

- Ankit Doshi'

Of Salim Bhaiya's Shaadi and Luck By Chance

Long time no see :) Seriously, I have nothing to write in this post. Life has been a bit monotonous for the last few days. There is nobody at home also. I am alone as all have gone to cousin's wedding in Karnal. 

And I don't feel like writing the review of Rockstar..forgot some of the points I was supposed to write on. I am now waiting for The Ditry Picture and then Don 2. This is one of those very rare years in which the number of movies I have watched in a hall is very less. Not more than 10 I guess. And those I watched turned out to be big disappointments.

And today is November 20. Our ex-cab driver Salim Bhaiya's wedding today! Ek dum filmi kahani hai..4 times engaged to the same girl and now finally getting married. He is very funny. He used to tell how he met his girl friend chupke chupke. I am very happy for him :) But he is a very nice person. Bilkul tension nahi lete..I wish him a very happy married life.

And now winters coming. I don't feel like waking up in the mornings :(

Again, my cosmic connection theory came to work this week. You know the movie quiz in office I talked about before called 'Cinema Paradiso'. So on Friday morning, I asked this question that in Luck By Chance, for which item did Sona and Vikram win a slogan writing competition. And can you believe that CNN-IBN's Rajeev Masand asked a similar question in his quiz on his Friday night show Now Showing! He had asked "In 'Luck By Chance', what slogan does Farhan Akhtar come up with when he enters a contest at a supermarket, that wins him a refrigerator as a prize? I mean it is such a funny co-incidence that on the same day, a question is asked on the same movie about the same scene! It is really very funny. And the movie's name fits perfectly  to the situation -  Luck By Chance! Seriously me luck by chance ho gaya! Cosmic Connections.

Meanwhile, I read another fascinating piece regarding the refrigerator in Luck By Chance. Here is what one brilliant author says about it.

To me, the fridge was Vikram himself: resource-gobbling; too big for the space it has reasonably been allotted; deliberately tough, shiny exterior; very cool on the inside. Its whole point is to be cool. It isn't even absolutely necessary, but everybody wants one, is supposed to want one - so much so that it's endorsed by Vikram's predecessor Zaffar.

It is awesome!! How beautifully she has analysed a fridge as a metaphor for the characters. 

I absolutely love love love Luck By Chance, so I have downloaded it and will watch it again soon! Ya, I want to write like this..As I have said before, analysis of characters and hidden references. Anyways, more later, 

Of Moms..

Aaj na my maasi came to my place. There was no one at home except me. Mummy had gone to market. And aate hi my maasi started crying like anything. No hi..no hello..as soon as entered she started crying :(  I seriously didn't know what to do. I thought something had happened. Then I asked her kya hua? She said A chala gaya Singapore! My cousin A went to Singapore for his MBA. So she was feeling very lonely. And the thing is she wanted that he gets married as his younger brother has got married and he still hasn't, so she was a bit worried for him. I felt so sad. I then told her ki yeh sab to chalta rehta hai.. aa jayega ek saal me..tension mat lo..Kuch bhi kaho moms always get worried. Jitna bhi kaho end me mummy hi sab kuch karti hai..I then made tea for her, which was quite thakeli. And then she was ok..and then my mom comes and the first question she asks, yeh chai kisne banai hai..I said that I made and then my mom says, mere liye to aaj tak banayi nahi..aaj kaise bana di :| Ek din pura khana bana dunga bas!

Meanwhile, I saw Rockstar! The film has its flaws but still it is so so much better than these stupid films. I can watch the movie again just for one thing- Ranbir Kapoor...he is brilliant! Seriously, the next superstar. He is without any doubt a terrific actor..this guy will go places..and what music..it slowly grows on you..like the song Tum ho paas mere brilliant..and I am still humming O yeyeyeye in my head..I have a lot of issues with the film but still I loved it.. there are some stunning scenes in the movie..More detailed review later.. I am still thinking about it. There are some scenes which I am still not able to decipher their meaning..very layered such as when Jordan is sitting in the bathtub and the guitar is burning..it is a very deep movie..

Anyways, will continue in later posts..