Revolution Number 33

It is time for my annual birthday post again. I have written a post on my birthday every year starting from 2009. These posts were intended as a sort of journal entry which was also the purpose I started writing this blog in the first place. It was like something to remember for that day. When I look back at some of these older posts, apart from the cringe, it makes me wonder how unlikable a person I was then. We don't like many films of the past if we watch them today. We say they have not dated well. Many a time, our own version of our past self also does not date well either. Life changes us a bit day by day.

In the last few months, almost the entire earth is under some sort of lockdown because of the pandemic. No one knows what is in store for our future. I saw some comments and analysis on how people are learning new things about their personality in regards to whether they are really introverts or extroverts. For me, I learned new things about myself about seven-eight years ago in a different kind of lockdown. When I went for masters, there were days I could not even go and step out of the house due to severe snow. There was a two-month period where I stayed in a really small town in Iowa and I knew only one person in the entire town. In Seattle, once I started working again, there is actually a famous concept called Seattle Freeze. There were weekends I did not know where to go. I always used to think I am an introvert and I do not like to be in large groups. I stay alone and like it honestly. I am fine with being called a loner but at the same point, you still need to talk to people, even if it is just to let out for a few minutes. You need that human connection. I remember there was a particularly difficult time at work in 2015 and I did not have anyone at work to even talk. When I was completely alone, I turned to write on films seriously in the hope that someone with a similar mental wavelength will read it. This is also why I am more vocal on Twitter while if someone meets me in real life, I do not talk much. I got to know many things about my own self in these moments from the last few years and how wrong I was earlier. Thus, this work from home in this lockdown is not something new but just that it has been sustained for so long that sometimes it makes me a bit more stressed. But it is difficult for everyone, not just me. I hope things get better for all of us.

Last year, at this point in time, I was feeling more than nervous about some changes that happened at work. Everything was changing. I don't know if I chose the right path for myself or could have done things differently. It has not been easy as I wrote last year on struggling to survive in the corporate world, but I managed to survive this year. My current manager told me about a month ago that you have a lot of emotional maturity (I felt very happy to hear this as I feel the exact opposite about myself), but try to take less stress about things you cannot control. 

On this birthday, I went to work for a change. If it was any other year, I would have taken a leave to sit at home. How times change! And, I gifted myself a haircut after two months. I used to cut my hair just from the top but it is the shape around the neck and the ears that matter the most. I am looking less ugly today. Haha. 

And, I read this by David Perell on Twitter today, "Few things will inspire you like a specific compliment from somebody you admire. It's amazing... one sentence can carry you for years." I want to write something here but I am afraid to share it openly. Never mind. 

I want to write more such posts but then forget about them. Anyway, happy birthday to me. :) 

Dialogue of the Day:

"Kisi ko pyar karna aur ussi se pyar paana, bahut kam logon ko naseeb hota hai."

—Nisha, Dil To Pagal Hai