Of Snow, Cap, Meeting, Change, Wedding Photography, Becoming The Boss, and Heroine

Hmmm..long time no see..

This was the first week of the break. Everyone has left for home. A few friends are here. There was a blizzard two days ago and it was advised to remain indoors. For the last two days, I have not stepped out of home. I saw snow fall first time in my life. It is beautiful. When it was snowing, I tried to click some pictures but the wind was so harsh that I could not stand for more than a minute. There is snow still lying outside. But today the sun was out, so it has become all muddy and dirty. I slipped twice. The temperature is sub zero. Yesterday it was -18 degree Celsius. But inside the house, I am roaming without a sweater. The thing is all houses are centrally heated so whatever the temperature outside, you don't really feel cold inside. I will click some better pictures of snow. B kept messaging me to see how I was feeling in the snow. He has been living here all along and he wanted to know how people who have never seen snow in their life react to it. The people here hate snow and call it white shit. I know in a few days, my love affair with the snow is going to be over too. It makes you feel handicapped. You cannot do anything at all.

M gave me this cap for Christmas. I don't wear caps at all but she said it would look good with my black muffler that I have. It has my name embroidered on it :) Thanks. I gave her chocolates. 

My college friend S sent me a message that she is New York and she wants to meet me. Doesn't it feel nice when someone messages you to meet? I haven't met her in the last three and a half years. I really want to go and meet. And it is New York! But the thing is money :\ I don't even have a smartphone :P It would cost me a minimum $400. It is so expensive - flight, hotel, food, cab. My cousin, who stays in California, is calling me to her place. She is saying that you will get too depressed living all alone so I should go there and spend some time with her. I might go to only one place. California would be even more expensive. I don't know. But I want to meet them both. I will figure it out something. 

You know this is the wedding season no? For the last two-three weeks, a lot of friends or friend's friends got married. So, on Facebook timelines, there are a number of wedding pictures. I start seeing wedding pictures of friends, random strangers - whatever are seen on the timeline. I love wedding photography. I can never get bored of it. In the last few years or so, it has come up beautifully. By wedding photography, I do not mean the video-vale bhaiya holding a light in his hand and clicking your embarrassing pictures when your plate is full of everything that is available in the wedding menu, but rather natural shots of the bride and the groom and the wedding ceremony. Holding hands, looking into the eyes, the waiting bride, the smiling mother - howsoever the same they might look but I still find them all stunning. It is something so pure, gracious and soulful that you feel you know these people even though they might be complete strangers. This is the second type of photography I wish I knew (first is macro photography). Whenever my sister gets married, I will gift her a natural wedding photo shoot.

And you know this week it has been a year that I left my first job. It seems just like yesterday and now when I look back, I realize so much has changed in this year. I realized it when I was cleaning my mailbox and saw the powerpoint presentation that A had made last year. Whenever I am feeling low, I read it again. It makes me happy. I love everything written in it. I cannot thank enough. Life has taken complete new turns. Everyone has phases in their life in which for some years life is going smooth and some in which life changes completely. The phases where my life changed were - 2003, 2005, 2009, 2011 and 2012. But it is 2012 that has been the most eventful year yet. A new home, a new city, a new culture, a new country. Mummy and Papa are now happy that at least I am living my life independently. When I told my dad, it is snowing here - he said it is good that God is making you strong in a way :) Mom keeps saying to me you never traveled anywhere here at all and there you are roaming in Chicago all alone. Itna sab kuch change ho gaya ya. The second law of thermodynamics states that a spontaneous system always moves towards the path of increasing disorderliness and randomness. I don't know how much disorderliness that is in store or how much I can control it using external forces to increase the orderliness in the reverse direction. Sab theek hoga na?

I haven't spoken to you properly in more than two months. And as someone said, the worst part about distance, is that you don't know whether they will miss you or forget you...

For the last two three days, just out of curiosity, I have been looking at CV of the famous people in the government. Some of the people just amazing. Dr. Manmohan Singh is indeed the most impressive of it all. He has been such a brilliant economist - top position everywhere he went. 

You have to look at his resume here:  

http://www.csir.res.in/external/heads/aboutcsir/leaders/president/CV-manmohan.pdf

He is a very nice guy but the problem with him is that he is perhaps not a very good leader. He is very quiet and thinks that things will change on their own. Sometimes, I really identify with him because I too am quiet. I should say things but I hold myself back. That is why sometimes I feel I will never be a very good  manager. In our class, the first article, our professor made us read was this one - Becoming the Boss. In the article, the author talks about how difficult it is to become a boss. Even in you are a highly talented individual, that does not mean you will necessarily be a good boss as well.

She says,

New managers typically assume that their position will give them the authority and freedom to do what they think is best. Instead, they find themselves enmeshed in a web of relationships with subordinates, bosses, peers, and others, all of whom make relentless and often conflicting demands. "You really are not in control of anything," says one new manager. Another misconception is that new managers are responsible only for making sure that their operations run smoothly. But new managers also need to realize they are responsible for recommending and initiating changes--some of them in areas outside their purview--that will enhance their groups' performance.

The complete article can be read here. I think every one should read this.

http://reporting.talent20.co.za/Harvard/HMM10/new_manager_transitions/resources/1723.pdf

Yesterday, I watched Heroine. It is now available on Netflix. Now what do I say about it? Kareena - what an actress she is. She delivers another outstanding performance. She remains one of my favorite actresses ever. That is how you evolve from humble beginnings in Refugee, doing some terrible performances in films like Khushi and Fida, and learning to become perfect - Dev, Omkara, Jab We Met, Heroine. My problem with Heroine was the story. Firstly, Madhur Bhandarkar has such a narrow and a cliched view of the world. He thinks he knows about everything. He has no idea about homosexuality and always tries to show as if they are some kind of weirdos in the same roles. That scene, where Promita says, she is not a lesbian, it was just a moment. I felt like what is she saying? Who will explain him that it is not a choice! People are born that way. The same old effete designers saying babes, and at one point, Mughda Godse says to her boyfriend that he needs to sleep with another guy because he is a bisexual so that he could sign her for a movie. Woah! And the stupid dialogue, "hamare industry me zip aur zubaan dono band rakhni chahiye?"  And Mahi (Kareena)? What did she really want in life? She was disheartened when Aryan (Arjun) refused to commit to her. But then Angad (Randeep) who was willing to marry her, she says to him that she wants to focus on her career! Huh? And in the end, she goes and lives somewhere in Europe. Then what was the point of it all? And seriously who makes his/her own sex video like that? Even if you are making one, would you focus on the look into the camera? Anybody would figure out that Mahi knew where the camera was. Mahi was just a dumb character. Bhandarkar uses the same name 'Panache' he used in Fashion. Even the background score was similar to Fashion. The only scenes that were watchable were those between Shagufta (Helen) and Mahi. Otherwise, the movie is plain boring - no new insights. But I was shocked at one dialogue. At one point Mahi says to Angad, agar mera career fail ho gaya, to businessmessman ke saath mil ke ek IPL team khareed lungi. Ouch!

I put some of the pictures that I had really wanted to...

I am deliberately avoiding writing about what happened in Delhi last week. I am just numbed by even thinking about it. The driver used to ferry kids from my school. I have a lot of thoughts in my mind but not able to make a coherent sense of them. The girl's family eats only salt and roti at times because they don't have enough money. And the terrible irony of it all. She was going home after watching Life of Pi. In the movie, Pi says by the time he will finish telling his story, you would start believing in God. Will the girl ever believe in God? Why do we have to suffer? I just have a silent prayer that she gets well soon and is able to stand again. Grant us the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

More later.

Dialogue of the Day:

यादों के हिसाब लगाने से उनके मोल कम हो जाते है 

- Shagufta Rizvi, Heroine