Of Last Post of 2011

Ab year end post to banta hai.. 2011 was a terrible year..seriously a terrible year.. Even mom said that this was a really bad year..Broken homes, broken marriages, losing people..things were not great in the family..and more to follow in the coming year. And I have not even mentioned things on the personal front which were even more troubling. I should refrain from doing that. Let it be. But there's no point blaming the year. Que sera sera..What will be, will be..whether it is 2011 or 2012. Papa also remains tensed these days. Today, we had a Prabhat Pheri at our house this morning. Hope things get better.

So, any new year resolutions? Yes, in addition to those of the last year which will continue onto next year, I have two proper resolutions

1. To stop being vulnerable in front of others..it is not going to help in the long run.. as they say हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें, दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें..
2. To read, read and more read..more insights, more about politics, movies, culture, art..more books..and also have a strong command over written English especially grammar rules and vocabulary..I so want to be an editor (though I write in a very informal way on the blog showing no regard for the rules :)) At least one new word every day I can learn..

Bas, nothing else for resolution..these two are more than enough.

Dialogue of the day:

' चाहत के दो पल भी मिल पाएं, दुनिया में यह भी कम है क्या ' - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Wishing you all a great year ahead..

Of Christmas, Fortune Cookie, Don 2, Conversations and Living On...

Merry Christmas everyone. Seema Goswami writes beautifully about Christmas:

If you ask me, Christmas is the greatest triumph of our syncretic Indian culture: that our festivals retain their religious significance even as they are celebrated across religious lines. Contrast this with the West where political correctness now dictates that you should say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas’’ for fear of giving offence to some minority or religious group.

Totally agree..

And before I forget I wanted to write about something else as well. I had gone for dinner at Fortune Cookie at my last unit outing. Now, as we know after you finish your meal there, they give a cookie which contains your fortune. Just as that silly and irritating Facebook app that I have permanently blocked as spam on my feed. But I like doing these stupid things although I don't believe in them. So D who was sitting next to me got his fortune as "There will be pressure at work, but you will sail through." D is actually doing a very difficult project but I know he will sail through :). And H got his fortune as, "You will soon be gifted by a close friend."  Now, this is so true. We had gone on Wednesday and Friday was my last day. I had planned to give him something on my last day. So true no? These inane things sometime become so true. Haina? And you what I got as my fortune? "You will never be last. You will always excel." I don't know whether it is true or not :( I can only wish..

I start a new phase of my life tomorrow. I am going to miss all my friends and am going to miss my old office :( But as the cliche goes, life moves on. Scared, nervous..these are the feelings what I am experiencing. Theek hai..I will try to be positive :) 

I also liked Don 2. The thing with me is that I don't watch English action movies much (I love Hindi movies more!!!)..so I haven't seen all the movies that it has been ripped off from - Ocean's Eleven, Mission Impossible. I liked the movie but I still feel Don 1 was better in terms of story and drama. This was more of a one dimensional movie focused only on the robbery but in terms of characters Don 1 was better. By Don 1, I mean the Farhan Akhtar one..not the original which I still haven't seen completely. There were no great dialogues..no edge of the seat moments but I loved the way it has been shot. You can make out it is Farhan's style. 

I also called J to wish her Christmas. Whenever I talk to her, I feel happy because she makes me feel so happy. So today when I called her, she told me that cab bhaiya was saying good things about me. Now what happened is that there was this fellow C in my cab (J and I used to call him by many names with this letter :P) but let's call him late-latif :P It was my first pick up and then I used to go to his place. And now C has the first pick up, so as his name goes he comes by his own sweet time. And has the audacity to blame driver bhaiya that he comes late. J told me that this led to an argument in which he said that "P never used to come late, instead he had to wait for me. He was always on time." Chalo is bahane C ki akal thikane ayegi ki it's bad manners to let someone wait for you every single day :P Chalo bahut buraai kar di C ki..itna bura bhi nahi hai vo..thora spolit hai..Ab mujhe kuch nahi bolna chahiye uske bare me. Wish him all the best.

It is my sister's birthday today. My mom's Santa Claus :P I just wish things get better. Mummy remains worried these days :( 

Anyways, lots of work still left...and lots and lots of more things to say..Long time no see..

Dialogue(s) of the day:

From Hum Tum:

Riya: Karan, बात ऐसी थी  की मैं इंडिया में रहती तो Mumma और मेरे रिश्तेदार मेरी दोबारा शादी की बात करते रहते.. Sameer के जाने के बाद मेरा इन सब बातों से मन उठ चूका था.. किसी के जाने के बाद भी प्यार थोड़ी न कम हो जाता है ..Sameer का पयार मेरे साथ हमेशा रहेगा.. I will always love him.

Karan: I can understand that.. इसका यह तो मतलब यह तो नहीं की तुम अपनी ज़िन्दगी फिर से शुरू नहीं कर सकती..You can't stop living nah?

Like it when she says, किसी के जाने के बाद भी प्यार थोड़ी न कम हो जाता है...very true. and he says, but you have to keep on living. This reminds me of this post of mine.

The lovely scene here..winner of Filmfare Best Scene of the Year 2004.. Bye for now

वोह है सबसे बुरा..

Anupama Chopra writes the following lines about Dil To Pagal Hai.

Karishma Kapoor, who picked up the role after Juhi Chawla, Manisha Koirala, Urmila Matondkar, and Kajol had turned it down, is simply superb. She gives her heartache a quiet elegance and grace.

Reading this immediately reminded me of that superb scene from the movie where Rahul and Nisha are sitting by the poolside.

निशा: राहुल, तुम नहीं जानते, मैं अच्छी लड़की नहीं हूँ, देखो न एक लड़का है मैं जिसे बहुत प्यार करती हूँ   और हमेशा से करती आई  हूँ और आज मुझे पता चला की वो मुझसे नहीं किसी और से प्यार करता है..तो मुझे अच्छा नहीं लग रहा है. दर्द हो रहा है. गुस्सा आ रहा है, जलन हो रही है.. मुझे ऐसा नहीं लगाना चाहिए राहुल.. मैं बहुत बुरी हूँ

राहुल: बुरी तुम नहीं हो..पता है बुरा कौन है..वोह है सबसे बुरा..वो हम इंसानों के साथ अजीब तरह के खेल खेलता है.....वोह एक को दूसरे से प्यार करवाता है और दुसरे को तीसरे से...और तीसरे को किसी और से प्यार करवाता है...पता नहीं ऐसा क्यों करता है...

It's a brilliant scene and as far as I remember this scene also won the award for the best scene at Zee Cine Awards. 

I am a big fan of all such characters (Vanraj, Sid, Anjali, Deepa, Cuckold, George, Rachel, Aditya...) who deal with one-sided love with grace, maturity and poise...maybe because I look up to such people to deal with my own hopeless situation :( Anyways, more later.

Of Geet's Philosophy on Life...

आदित्य: सब कुछ जो इंसान चाहता है, वो मिलता कहाँ है यार?

गीत: क्यों? मुझे तो लगता है की इंसान जो कुछ भी real में चाहता है ना, actual में उसको life में वोही मिलता है...

************************************************************************************************************

आदित्य: गीत, तुम बहुत बड़े problem में फँस सकती हो. Do you realize that? सिर्फ हंसी, खेल तमाशा नहीं होती यार life. Life में serious होना होता है. 

गीत: तुम तो life में बहुत serious थे आदित्य. क्या फायदा हुआ? बहुत बड़े problem में तो तुम भी फँस गए ना?

आगे क्या होने वाला है, उसपर किसी का control तो है नहीं. तो ऐसे में मैं वोही करती हूँ, जो मेरा दिल कहता है. कल को मैं किसी और को blame नहीं करना चाहती की जी तुम्हारी वजह से मेरी life खराब हो गयी. मेरी life जो भी होगी, मुझे पता होगा की मेरी वजह से ऐसी है. तो I’ll be happy. 

Things will just turn out fine. P, you have to accept somethings. Somethings are not made for you. Try to be happy. Don't worry.


Here's another fascinating insight on the movie. At one point, Aditya says: "Ek time that music se bada passion nahin tha meri life mein."

Geet's name means 'song', and eventually she becomes the music of his life. Hindi films are far more intelligent than they are given credit for!

Also, I found the complete script of Jab We Met. Reading a film script is a different experience. You can find the script at this link. Worth keeping and especially of a film like Jab We Met.

Of Ma and Mama...

Ever since my renewed fascination with Luck By Chance, I am constantly thinking of what that movie is trying to say. A detailed post is in the offing but I have been reminded of another of my all time favorite movie - Taal. I loved Taal, notwithstanding its mediocre performance at the Box office. Now, there's this scene where Anil Kapoor talks about his ideals. He says his mom told him to follow certain principles which were

• प्यार बलिदान से ही महान होता है
• नेकी कर दरिया में दाल
• कर्म कर, फल की इच्छा मत कर 

And then he says followed this principles for some time but it didn't take him anywhere..all he could do was end up as a background musician playing छैना..

However, then his Mama told him some other ideals which he should follow these principles if he wants to be successful in life, which are as follows

• प्यार सही लेन देन से ही मज़बूत  होता है
• नेकी कर पहले खुद से, फिर दूसरों से..
• बिना फल के सब कर्म बेकार है 
• इमानदारी से ज्यादा ज़रूरी है दुकानदारी
• Competition से जीतने के लिए ज़रूरी है जलन, इर्ष्या
• अमीर बनने के लिए ज़रूरी है लालच..
• बड़ा बनने के लिए ज़रूरी है दूसरों को छोटा दिखाना..

Ans he ends up as a millionaire!

By my own experience, I feel that the 'Mama' philosophy will help you survive in this world, but this has made me question many things - Can good people not survive here then? Will they be always left behind? Why do we have to do something by going against our grain? I really don't know.

Dialogue of the day:

ना प्यार, ना दोस्ती, ना इश्क, ना मोहब्बत, nope. दिल का खेल बताइये, दिल मत दीजिये. हम दर्द बेचते हैं खरीदते नहीं हैं

P.S. - At the end, when Vikrant (Anil Kapoor) realises that Mansi (Aishwarya Rai) will never be happy with him, he lets go of her. So, eventually, the mom principles triumph as प्यार बलिदान से ही महान होता है. But what happened to Vikrant after that? Did he go back to his simple ways? Did he survive? We don't know!

P.P.S. - Did you know that  Taal was selected by the idol-of-us-all-wannabe-critics Roger Ebert for his 2005 Overlooked Film Festival!!

Of Last Day Emotions and Mummy..

Yesterday was my last day at my first job. I got selected on August 10, 2008 from campus, joined on October 19, 2009, resigned on October 31, 2011 and finally left on December 16, 2011. Life completely changes when one leaves college. I am that sort of a person who doesn't like stepping out of my comfort zone. But as I now again step out of comfort zone, I am again feeling that sense of insecurity. My life of the last two and a half years is now going to change. I didn't cry when I left school. I didn't cry when I left college but I cried the most when I left yesterday :( My friends have supported me so much during these two years - I am so indebted to them. I am not going to see them now everyday :( But as they say, you have to move on. I have taken certain decisions after a lot of thinking, I am taking some risks, I hope it doesn't boomerang on me.

I don't know what happened yesterday..maybe it was because only me who was leaving (as compared to college when everybody leaves) while my friends are here, that gave me a feeling of being left out. When I went to meet J for the last time, I couldn't hold myself and she also started crying :( J is my inspiration, even after going through so much in life, she always has a smile on her face. And after I gave a card to N, she also started crying after reading it :( And A (who is just like me as a person) also took me to a room and she told me certain things that I should do and she was also crying :( 

And I couldn't face A the entire day because I know she was upset, and I couldn't meet her alone else :( And I randomly said to H, that I am leaving, so mujhe miss kar lena..and he said P aise mat bol, varna I will actually start crying..you know how much I am going to miss you :( A and H have done the most for me, been there for everything, listened to me, guided me..

Ab bhai sab nahi ro dho rahe the :)..S came to my seat and wrote a thank you note for me, J came specially from LA with the super cool Santa cap :), R brought something that is so me..and everyone else A, R, D, D, D and so many others..I will write more about them later.

And S called me in her room and talked to me for about 15-20 minutes. She said a very sweet thing that I am an introvert version of her, it's just that she speaks more and I don't speak much but as a person, we have the same likings, same opinion..but said that she understands that smarter people have smarter aspirations..

But the biggest surprise for the day was when I came home and showed my gifts to mummy and she also saw what all things I had kept on my desk. She got so emotional, so emotional! (I really don't know why!!) that she said I didn't know that people like you so much. She said that in the future also, people will like you and you will do very well. She said she will keep these gifts forever and will show them to my kids :| My mom has too much expectations from me..Maybe I should tell her that she shouldn't think too much of me, she might be disappointed if she has high hopes :P

And today morning, I woke up and read a message in my cell that said, "I miss you already. Please come back." :( 

I will write more about the last days in later posts..

Interesting? Me??

Ok..Hello again..Long time no see :)

This post is a narcissist one considering my penchant for self deprecation, this one might be too OTT :\ But I still want to write because it made me really feel good..

So, yesterday a new member joined our team in office. Whenever someone joins, our team has this new ritual attached. Like sometimes we don't have to introduce ourselves, the person sitting next to us has to introduce you..or sometimes it is like that you have to share one thing about you which no body knows..these types..

So, yesterday, the different part was that along with your introduction, you have to say who your favorite/interesting person in the unit (team) is..this was a bit of surprise that could lead to allegations of favoritism but it's ok..So, one by one people started saying who they found the most interesting person in the unit..clearly, R has a massive fan club in the unit..almost everybody in the team said that he is a very interesting person to talk to..

And you know what three people took my name :) I felt nice..So who were these people.

First was H :) He said P is his favorite person in the unit because he is a very interesting person to talk to and one could share anything with him :) :) :) And then he joked later "I said the truth what it is.. lekin zyada seriously mat lio isko theek hai.."  

And the second one who took my name was S..She said as a unit head she should not take names of people who are her favorite as for her all are equal but in terms on interesting people there are two people she likes and they were P and A..And then she said that P is one of those quiet people who would sit in a corner and mentally dissect about characters..on the symbolic metaphors in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge and would tell her trivia like in Luck By Chance, how the refrigerator that is endorsed by Hrithik Roshan stands for being cool..and he writes blogs analyzing various characters..and someone who is very interesting to talk to..And he has started this cryptic Cinema Paradiso quiz about movies..
I felt nice and I think it's all because of J that she knows I write..I have never told her that I write, it is only J who made her read it once..thank God, she hasn't read my other non-film posts..she would then realize how interesting I really am :(

And finally, the third person who took my name was D! He said he has started talking to me recently in the last one month and he has found that although he is quiet but P has an opinion on many things. And there is this thing with him that when you are around him, you feel a bit vulnerable and you can talk to him about anything. And can share a lot of your secrets. He then said that he has told many of his secrets to me and he knows I will not tell these around. Again, I felt nice especially D saying this..Ok D, of course, I won't tell who your latest crush in office is ;P Thanks so much anyways..

Honestly, I consider myself as a very boring person with no social etiquette but I felt nice when three people in my team think I am interesting..

So, whose name did I take? I actually took two names. One of course, H, that goes without saying. Because he is one person I can say anything without thinking of the consequences and can talk to him about any topic..And the second name I took was of S. And I said she is more of a friend rather than unit head and I could discuss about life, relationships, higher ends of life, people and have interesting philosophical discussions with her..

So after that there was an office party at Urban Pind in GK. I got so drunk for the first time ever..had about five drinks and my head was spinning..don't know how people have so much capacity..but it was nice.. Since it was going to be my last official party, I could see people trying to cheer me up..A, J..my usual partners :) even R!! And H got so drunk that he was out as always..He hugged me for so long, wouldn't let me go and kept on saying, Pankaj, tu bhi ja raha hai :( Now the sinking feeling on not being able to see these special people has started..

Dialogue of the day:

उन्हें मत भूलो जो तुम्हे तब जानते थे जब तुम कुछ नहीं थे..क्यूंकि बस येही है जो तुम्हे हमेशा सच बोलेंगे - Luck By Chance

Fits perfectly..no? 

Anyways, as always, catch you later..

सपनो से भरे नैना, तो नींद है न चैना..

Hmmm..

Someone called me a psuedo-intellectual yesterday :( I think that's the worst thing anyone could say..sob sob..I didn't feel bad because it's true in a way..that's what I am going to be all y life...pretentious :(

It's been a dull weekend..since Friday night, I am experiencing a *strange* feeling.. missing someone badly :( 

The worst feeling is being forgotten by someone you will never forget..

I have seen three terrific films in the last week - Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, Zoya Akhtar's Luck By Chance and Milan Luthria's The Dirty Picture (this one was not exactly terrific save Vidya Balan).. Each of it deserves a separate review..will write about the first two for sure soon..if only I get time..so much other work to do :\

I am in love with Luck By Chance all over again..such a terrific movie..a movie with one of the most detailed characters ever..will write more in detail for this one for sure..super it is..

Dialogue(s) of the day:

Luck by Chance:
इतने दिनों तुमने किसी और पर भरोसा किया..अब अपने आप पर भरोसा करो..मौके मिलते नहीं सोना, बनाये जाते हैं, कामयाबी हम तक नहीं आती, हमें कामयाबी तक जाना होता है..अपने रास्ते पर चलते रहो..चलते रहो..धीरे धीरे सारी दुनिया तुम्हारे रास्ते पर आ जाएगी..

कामयाबी और नाकामी इंसान खुद ही चुनता है.. Success and failure are choices we make..

Pyaar Ke Side Effects:

अपने सपनो को पूरा करने की कोई उम्र नहीं होती..

More about Luck By Chance in coming posts..

सपनो से भरे नैना, तो नींद है न चैना..