Of the Brilliance of Cuckold and the Betrayal of Urmila

Finally, I finished reading Cuckold by Kiran Nagarkar. A great book. Brilliant, amazing. Touches your heart. Makes you want to introspect. Cuckold is basically the story of Maharaj Kumar, the heir apparent of Mewar and husband of Meerabai. It is a story told through his eyes, how does he feel when his wife is in love with someone who he can't even kill. How does he cope with his wife's mad love for the Blue Flautist? He is jealous, troubled, disturbed, and so madly in love with his wife but the thing is he cannot do anything. As he says, "You can exorcise a devil but how do you rid yourself of a God." I had first heard about this book from Hindustan Times journalist Poonam Saxena who had written in her weekly Saturday column Small Screen that how she wished someone could make a TV serial out of it. I was immediately fascinated by the subject of the book.

And you know why I was so spellbound. Because I always thought the same about Urmila — a woman who history never gave its due. Urmila was Lakshman's wife. I think she made a much bigger sacrifice than Sita. At least Sita had her husband by her side. All fourteen years Urmila prayed in the temple, lighting diyas, and wishing for Lakshman's well-being. Her love for Lakshman stood the test of time. History extols Ram and Sita but nobody talks about Urmila. Can anybody imagine what she would have gone through? Lakshman had refused to take her along as he wanted to take care of her in-laws. Why does nobody talk about her? It is so unfair. So is the case with Maharaj Kumar. He has been forgotten in the annals of history. Two other women I have always felt sad about are Mandodari (Ravana's wife) and Rukmini (Krishna's wife). Mandodari was an ideal wife and she copes with her husband's love (or lust) for Sita so gracefully, all the while knowing that this would lead to his end. And, Rukmini? I mean the whole world says Radhe-Krishna. Where does she go? How would she have felt..jealous? I don't know. But I always pause and think about these people who in spite of being betrayed never stop loving their partners. Maybe I should also write a book on Urmila and Mandodari inspired by Cuckold.

A had gifted me this book on my last birthday. I finally started reading it this year and finished it yesterday only. I have become so slow in reading, earlier I used to read so fast but ever since my job has started, I don't get the time. The thing with me is I need to read the book with full concentration and enjoy it. I can't read when I am tired at the end of the day or when I am in a cab or just randomly. Anyway, too much off-topic.

Kiran is a fabulous writer. He writes so deep lines that leave you enchanted and enthrilled to the core. Sheer poetry in motion. Beautiful prose and language. There are so many creative people all around, be it any field, people are simply outstanding.

I am writing some of the most beautiful lines from the book. I wish I could write the entire book here. 

It was the stuff of bad nautanki plays. Man, Woman. And Lover. Except that the last one was an Almighty God.

The green of grass is a possessive, greedy color. It doesn't leave an inch of space for anything else.

The lapping up of the void is a soothing sound.

To combat a God, one must become one..or at least masquerade as one. (This was my favorite  part in the book when Maharaj Kumar dresses up as the Blue Flautist Krishna in the hope of getting some love from his wife.)

We were that rarest of couples. Even after years of marriage, we were madly in love. I with her and she with somebody else.

Identical twins are close but true enemies are closer.

Can Gods have birthdays? We thought they had no beginnings and no ends.

Ah! yes, the truth. What a to-do we make of this word when we all know we could be so much better off without it.

Is there anything more painful and lonesome than betrayal? Yes, there is. It is loss. And worse than loss is the tricks the memory plays.

There is no truer meditation than music and no journey of discovery greater than that of looking within. 

If detachment is fear of failure, and hence never putting oneself to the test or if it is the fear of being hurt, humiliated, or rejected, then one is closing all doors to life, to the possibilities of happiness, pain, dejection, achievement, and experience. The thought of the afterlife or lives or moksha does not mean that we miss out on this life. This is our only chance to engage it.

Eyes. You cannot unlock them. They conceal almost as many secrets, suffering, and the follies of men as the flowing river.

Bhishma is the ultimate icon for our notion of sacrifice and loyalty. But it might have helped if had ventured to question his beliefs. Is he recommending that we abdicate ethical choice and thus abandon the responsibility for our acts. Do we stick to people, however, mistaken or evil they may be, merely because we were born on their side, or should we owe our loyalty not to people or institutions but to values. Bhishma may have served humanity better if he had the courage not to follow tradition blindly but to weigh in on the side of the right. Integrity is not enough, only when it is in the right cause then it matter. (On Bhishma's vow to remain celibate all his life)

There are so many more lines but I wish could write more. Its deep passages hit you like a thunderbolt.

In love with Kiran Nagarkar.