Saturday, February 9, 2013

Of One Amazing Thing, Draupadi, Illusions, God, Cold, Is Love Enough, and Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me..

Long time no see..

The last week caught me. So many things were happening that I thought what is this happening to me. 

Apartment search for the next semester, the team that I am with this semester is not good, the project is way too complicated, internship search, application rejects, behavior of friends and some other people, too much homework, GA work, family problems, the cold weather - so many things. But it's ok. Apni help I have to do it myself. Kaun ayega yahan? I will be fine. I will fight it out like I always try to :)

So I gave some thought to the 'One Amazing Thing'. There are a lot of short stories in my mind about myself. I will tell one really short one. I don't know if I can call it amazing or not but it is to me. This happened when I was about five to six years old. There was a dinner at our place and some guests were supposed to come. So my mom made some rice, which is a staple item if any guest is coming. So that time, I was feeling hungry. I asked my mom to give some of it to me. I ate it but you know how kids eat rice no? They will spread it out on the plate and after eating some part of it, it gives the impression that the you have eaten all of it. But in reality if you collect all the left over rice on the plate, it will make almost half of it. You know what I mean.. So I did the same. I was about to throw the plate in the kitchen and it when my dad stopped me. He then told me to finish the rice. I told him I have finished it. So he then tells me a story from the Mahabharata. Once, when the Pandavas were in exile, Krishna comes to their place and asked if Draupadi had anything to eat because he was hungry. Draupadi says that she had nothing except the one grain of rice which was sticking to the vessel from which Draupadi had just eaten. He ate that single grain of rice and said that is more than sufficient. Then my dad told me that Krishna ate one grain of rice and you are wasting so much of it! From that day till now, I make it a point to eat my complete plate of rice without leaving one grain of rice on the place. I learnt a very valuable lesson that day and still try to follow it.  I love the Mahabharata. It has been rightly called the greatest story ever told. We had the Mahabharata in Class Seven in Hindi and I loved it. It was a condensed version but there are numerous short stories that we don't get to hear about like the one above. 

There was another short story which I read in Class 4 that involved Draupadi. This time what happens, in order for a yagya to be successful, Draupadi calls a bunch of sadhus for lunch at the palace. She had made some delicious dishes. But there was one sadhu who ate all of it but he mixed all the dishes that she had prepared. When she saw that, she was all the while thinking in her head, that she had prepared such dishes with such hard work and how is this sadhu mixing all of them without tasting them. Eventually, the yagya didn't become successful. So again she called him and he did the same and again she felt the same and the yagya failed the second time. So she asked the sadhu that was there something lacking in her food that the yagya is not becoming successful. The sadhu told her that there was some impurity. But it was not the food but her heart. She made everything but in her heart she was judging or questioning the way the sadhu was eating and that was leading to the yagya's failure. The next time the yagya became successful when she removed all impure thoughts from her mind. Isn't this so fascinating? And you would have definitely read another story from Mahabharat when Yudhishitira had to answer some questions before he could drink water from the pond. What brilliant story that is!

And you know what the funny thing is - yesterday M sends me a message this week that One Amazing Thing is a great book and that I should read the other book by Chitra Divakaruni called the Palace of Illusions. I had no idea that Palace of Illusions is written by Chitra but I knew the book. You know what it is about? It is basically the story of Mahabharta from Draupadi's perspective. Isn't this weird? I mean for the last two weeks I was thinking of my 'One Amazing Thing' which related to Mahabharata and yesterday I get to know that Chitra's other book talks about Mahabharat and that too Draupadi! It is these funny cosmic connections that continue to surprise me. It is indeed true what she said in her talk that we all are connected in some way or the other and it is when we share such stories we realize how much we have in common. It is so true..just happened now. Talking of Palace of Illusions, I have been dying to read it. I love different perspectives. Cuckold is my favorite book ever because it talks about Meera's story from her husband's viewpoint. And I already know I will love Palace of Illusions because the concept is terrific. If only I had time to read more ya :( Sari life aise hi time nahi hai karte nikal jayegi... that is why I feel if only I could make a career out of reading :( I will read it for sure.

So I was walking with R to the class and I asked him "Do you believe in God?" He then told to first say why am I asking it. I just told him that for the last few months, I have been thinking about whether there is God. There is so much suffering in the world and if there was a God why doesn't he stop it. Why does he give so much pain to some people who have never hurt someone in their life? My mom and dad believe in the Radha Soami (Beas) sect and ever since I was young I believed in it too. But I never questioned it - what is it? Why? I used to go to Gurudwara but did going there make me a good person? Does spending five minutes there wash all my sins? I go to the Church here sometimes but is God really there? R then told me that it is a trick question. And he has also thought about it a lot. He tried to read the Upanishads but couldn't because they are too complex. But he said if you are questioning the existence of God, then it makes you self aware and makes you introspect and maybe this awareness will gives you the answer in some time. We couldn't continue it but I told him we should discuss later. I think Buddhism and Radha Soami are so close to each other in terms of what they preach and they talk about self awareness. Do you believe in God? Why? I have written about it like the Jerry Pinto or Christopher Hitchens and what Amit Verma wrote. Read again this terrific piece that is so relevant today!

And it was so so cold this week. I missed my bus and had to walk 1.5 miles in -18 degrees. It was insane. It felt like -30 during the night. I just found that Dr. Alex from Grey's is from Iowa! No wonder he is so cool :P

Someone made a snowman or snowoman outside..

It was J's Birthday too :)

And you know what on Facebook, I get this message from someone I don't know and I was like what is this?!?! Now what do I make out of it? I mean why? What?

So it is the Valentine's Week :) I am happy alone. But you know I have taken this Netflix connection. Every night before I sleep I either watch an episode of Grey's for a few minutes or listen to a song or watch some movie scenes. So in an episode, Derek gives a girl's message to her fiance, which she wanted him to tell in case she died during the surgery. She dies and Derek delivers the message to her fiance. He said:
She asked me to tell you...She wanted you to know..that if love were enough..that if love were enough, that she'd still be here with you

I think it is a beautiful statement. If love were enough.. and you know the song, Senorita, they say, chahat ke do pal bhi duniya me mil paayein, duniya me bhi yeh bhi kam hai kya...

At one side, some people are saying that in life, sometimes love is not enough, and on the other side, they are saying in life, just two words of love are enough.. But how does it feel to be loved by someone? I don't know :( Derek knows..

It's Like I Was Drowning And You Saved Me

And since it is Valentine's Week, you have to watch this video, where Meredith asks Derek to pick her, love her.

I lied. I’m not out of this relationship. I’m in. I’m so in, it’s humiliating because here I am begging. Ok here it is: Your choice, it’s simple: her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great… But Derek, I love you. In a really really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let your eat the last piece of cheese cake, hold a radio over my head outside your window! Unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me!

Have so much more to write, more later :)

Dialogue of the Day:
"Kabhi to pehli mulakat hi kafi hoti hai, aur kabhi bahut si mulakaatein lag jati hain"
- Karan, Hum Tum

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