2025 has ended. 2026 has begun. It is that familiar season of year-end reviews. I have read many posts celebrating milestones, growth, and breakthroughs. This year, I don't have much to add to that chorus. No significant shifts in my career, no meaningful changes in my personal life. Nothing dramatic to point to. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy. But I do feel… suspended. Existing more than living. And that quiet absence of momentum has felt a little soulless.
This was the first year since I started working that I did not take any time off. I did not feel like traveling. I get bored at places of natural beauty. I prefer cities, but I don't want to travel alone. I don't have any close friends left with whom I can go to places. Jo hain woh baat nahi karte. They have all become a little busy and a little mean. Anyway, I don't want to complain about people. Everyone has their life.
I have read a lot more books in the first half of the year. In the second half, I lost steam as the books I picked up were boring. One of the best books that I read this year was Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career by Kristi Coulter. It is written by someone who used to work at the same place I work, and when I read it, I could relate to what she wrote. At so many places, I was like it has what has happened to me as well. It is funny and sad; those who work in tech would get what I mean here. I thought of writing her an email after I read it. The other books I really liked were Kashmir: Behind the Vale by MJ Akbar and Jugalbandi by Vinay Sitapati. I also read a lot (not books per se, but other material) on the Israel-Palestine conflict. I also read the court judgement in the Ram Mandir case, which mentions the entire history of the conflict, and is one of the most era-defining events in Indian history. There is so much to learn about history, and when one gets into the details, one tends to form one's own opinion rather than what everyone else asks one to think. I want to read more fiction. I could not finish Intermezzo by Sally Rooney. I am going to try to read more old classics. More books on humor. More books in Hindi.
I have a few posts about films in my drafts, but I have not published them. 2025 was another year of some decent and some good films, but not great ones. I haven't watched many, but The Mehta Boys, Dhoom Dhaam, Superboys of Malegaon, Metro In Dino, Aap Jaisa Koi, Saiyaara, Homebound, Raat Akeli Hai: The Bansal Murders, and Dhadak 2 were decent films. Dhadak 2 was far better than Homebound, which was a little boring. I have yet to watch Dhurandhar, Haq, Nishaanchi, and Gustaakh Ishq, and will watch them soon. But again, from the ones I watched, I did not feel vowed by any of them. I miss those kinds of films. That may be why I don't feel like writing much about them. And another thing is, with age, I have become more pessimistic about them because I don't like the people associated with films. The more you read about them, the more you understand that they are not very nice people in real life. It includes all these big stars like Shah Rukh and all. I have never been a crazy fan of these guys anyway. I like films more because of the art itself. I am going to try to watch old films and write about them. One downside of not writing much is that I don't get any emails from strangers about a post I wrote about a film. I still get comments on some old posts, which is so lovely of them, but the frequency has dropped.
In terms of songs, I love love love Saiyaara's title song by Shreya Ghoshal. It is one of the most beautiful things for me this year. The way she sings, "Haaye main mar hi jaaun, jo tujhko na paun," carries a profound ache, followed by "Tujhko hee gaaun main, tujhko pukaaroon" and then she slips into that long, magical "oooon." I also really like Pardesiya from Param Sundari and Qayde Se from Metro In Dino. Qayde Se has beautiful poetry. And, the other top thing I listened to a lot more is the Hanuman Chalisa. When things don't work out in life, we turn to God for help. I keep thinking that something bad is going to happen to me, so I listen to it every day. I was never religious, but once I grew a bit older, I could understand why it provides a sense of hope; something to cling to when there is no one for you.
I have also focused on my health. I did not miss any workouts this year. I have gone five days a week throughout the year, except for one week in April, when I went only two days because I was absolutely miserable. I don't like hate going to the gym, but I have to do it for my own health. I have started logging my workouts. Every workout is approximately ~60,000 lbs (~30 tonnes). I have lifted 3,000 tonnes this year. But it's not been showing as much. My trainer, who helps me, keeps telling me to be patient and that it takes years to build a physique, so I hope it works out as he says it will.
I don't know about resolutions or anything. I want to feel more human in the new year. I don't like how dependent I have become on my phone and how I waste time on random, nonsensical things. I love to be informed about different things. I enjoy reading a variety of things, but watching short-form content isn't good for me. I want to do more deep dives, read more long-form, and simulate the brain more. I am planning to write about random topics on my Substack, the way I used to do here in the early 2010s. I would pick things from daily life and share my thoughts. I have also been researching courses on public policy, law, and ethics. But something stops me as I think about what the point is. Doing the course in itself will not change anything if I am not smart enough to put it into action. I want to do something different. I want to help people. I want to change lives for the good. Life is passing by, and I will do nothing. I don't want to waste my life. I want something to accomplish. Let's see where life takes in 2026. I leave with this thought by Paras Chopra. Happy New Year!
"Once you overcome your desire to compete with others, you can actually just sit back and enjoy the outcomes that others compete to produce for you. Read great books, watch interesting movies, dance to the music, use latest gadgets, and eat good food. Let others compete hard to let you enjoy these things, while you do what you find most fun. It could be tending to your garden, working at a sensible pace, making coffee, building tiny weird games, or whatever else makes you come alive.
I hear you ask: won’t society collapse if everyone did this? I’d argue the opposite. If everyone did what they find most fulfilling, our net happiness will rise. Artifacts useful to the society will still be produced, except with less anxiety and burnout. People will still write books, but without an intent of it trying to be a bestseller but with an intent of honing and enjoying their craft.
In this world, greatness will still occur without being aimed for. Everyone will chase butterflies of their curiosity and do things for their own sake instead of hustling to be on the top. People will stop playing finite games, but focus entirely on creating infinite games with their lives."