.

Why does it happen to good people? Giving hope every time and then taking it away every single time..It's so unfair..To make them stronger? For what? Another jolt? My wishes are with you..No worries...

Hmmm....

Long time no see..

I didn't feeling like writing..still feeling lonely..

Some things happened in office. About two weeks ago, perhaps the second time in my professional life, I confronted someone face to face. And I stood for myself. All those who were sitting were so surprised - A, A, J, and S - that I could react in such a way. But I needed to say some things...and as usual after that I felt so guilty that should I have said that? I also sent a message to J that I was angry not wit her but with someone else and that is why I reacted. She said that if at any time if you feel the other person is crossing the line with you then just let the other person know. But it's ok now. Let bygones be bygones. And the next day, there was an office party. I went to the party so that I can leave early from office on Friday. As usual I was so bored. There was no dancing also. Just drinks and talk. What can you talk in front of bosses? Was so so so bored that I sneaked out in just an hour after having a drink or two...have become an occasional drinker ;-). B got angry with me that I came without informing him. And then the next Friday, I got a good feedback. C and E, the people for whom I work for in the UK, on a call with the team that they were very happy with some of the responses that I sent out. So D came and told me that..he said that C had told the same thing last week also, so keep it up. And in case I forgot, I also accidentally broke A's phone as well. Was running with it to give it to him and it fell from my hands :/ And he didn't even take money :( And also for the last two-three weeks, I have seen true colors of some people. I failed to read some of them correctly. The ones who I used to think as good, I find them irritating now. Anyways, yeh sab to chalta rehta..as H says that I always over-analyse people :/

Anyways, I also got the US Visa. I had got the admit in March but didn't disclose it until I was very sure. So, if all goes well, I will be joining the University of Iowa for the MBA program. I had planned something totally different. But life planning se chalti to baat hi kya thi :/ Did I want this? Partly..Am I really happy? Am not sure..Mom is not really happy. When I told J in office, he said if he had been at my place, he would be jumping with joy. And I was like I am feeling normal. As much as I try to convince myself, I am not really an ambitious person.Then why am I doing this? To find my own happiness..this is just a means to attain some end..as someone as has rightly said..nahi dhoondoge to nahi milegi..Will I be successful? Will I find my inner happiness? That time will tell haina? And Mom has started to say some things through which I now know what all she has thought for me. I don't like it when she says such things.

I still have to write about so many other things. But don't feel like. Will write soon.

Dialogue(s) of the Day:

"Kyun nazar ke kinaare toote hain khwaab saare tu bata." - Bin Tere, I Hate Luv Storys

"Risk to spiderman ko bhi lena padta hai, main to phir bhi ek Salesman hun." -  Rocket Singh, Salesman of the Year 

.....

Feeling terribly lonely since Saturday.. 

25!

25 Years!! In 5 years, it will be 30!

I am indifferent to my birthday.. I don't really feel that it is my day..It's just another day...

And then V put this as her status..Thanks ya...I don't know what to say..It's not true..Everyone is special...

The last 2-3 days, somethings have been happening..I don't want to write..I have become more conscious of what I write here..Maybe not telling the truth is also a form of lying...Let it be..

Anyways something terrible is going to happen to Lexie :( :( I loved this poster that was posted on Facebook! Noooo..Mark and Lexie have to be together!

Dialogue of the Day:
"Maine khush rehne ka faisla kiya hai."
 - Sona, Luck By Chance

Of Moving On..

"It's one of those things that people say, you can't move on until you let go of the past. Letting go is the easy part, it's the moving on that's painful. So sometimes we fight it, try and keep things the same. Things can't stay the same though. At some point, you just have to let go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is, it's the only way we grow." — Meredith Grey

Dialogue of the Day:

पल्लवी: तुम बहुत बहुत अच्छे हो विरेन! 

—Lamhe

Of Luck By Chance: Part 1

Yesterday, Anupama Chopra, in her new show, The Front Row, that airs every Friday on Star World, said :

"I don't know if this happens to you, but when I watch a good film, I kind of become giddy with happiness. I have a sense of elation and privilege that I was able to experience something so wonderful."

I totally agree with her. Watching a good film makes brings so much happiness to me that it is so difficult to put into words. As she says, I also feel privileged to watch a finely crafted story. If that film contains some references, I love it even more. I have said it many times and will reiterate it again about my all-time favorite movie, Luck By Chance. I adore that movie. If I have to make a list of films one has to watch, I am sure it will rank in my top 10. Every time I watch that movie, I learn something new that I hadn't seen or noticed before. So, in a two-part series, I try to recall why I love that movie so much. 

The film opens with a scene where Sona Mishra, a girl from UP, sits in the office of Choudhury, a producer of B-grade cinema. He says to her:

It is all destiny..सब कुछ यहाँ लिखा होता है (pointing to the forehead!) Maker की आँख camera होती है..Artist और maker एक दुसरे को समझ ले यह बहुत ज़रूरी है , तुम समझ रही हो न मैं क्या कहना चाह रहा हूँ. Possibly a reference to the infamous casting couch.

Looking at the office of Choudhury, we see a poster of Lady Detective, probably a B-grade film..and a poster of a film with the initials Kalap and some photographs of people.

And then begins the song...Yeh Zindagi Bhi. Oh! If you haven't seen the song yet, I think you are missing something. People who are actually associated with the movies. I fell in love with the film at that instant only..so beautiful..how can anyone make such a song.

Exist :) So true!

I loved this scene in the song.Actually, I loved every frame of the song!

The lyrics..

जो पलकों के तले

है अपने 

सपने लेके चले है 

कहदो वोह चले संभल के 

न करना कोई गिले 

कहीं जो ठोकर ऐसी लगे 

के सपने टूटे आसू छलके...

The entire premise of the film is on Luck! How do you succeed in life? And as the song ends, we see a cinema hall..how aptly it is named "Kismet Talkies."

And this is my absolute favorite reference from the movie...If you look closely, Sona's apartment is full of birds. The entire shelf contains birds.. pigeons, parrots.

She has paintings of birds on her wall.

At one point, Vikram comes and picks up the bird that had fallen off.

More birds at the extreme right end of the picture below.

And whoa!! Vikram is wearing a shirt that has a bird!! And that too, it is two-colored - purple and white!

How brilliantly everything is so connected! What do these birds signify? I thought about it a lot..maybe a reference to migration..both of them have come from different cities with dreams in their eyes..they have left their homes. Interestingly, Vikram's shirt has a bird of two colors, probably symbolizing his shrewd personality or the duality in his nature..even the bird that he picked up was multi-colored.. fascinating..am still thinking about the birds.

And spot the reference.. the game that I love to play.

So here is Kagaz Ke Phool.

Another one here..an old film Humayun..(at the right)

The film Aan...

Manish Malhotra and Romi Rolly talking with the poster of Anokhi Ada and Amar Prem in the background.

Raging Bull in Abhi's apartment...(top right)

I love the background below..could identify only two films from the posters - Pyaasa and Range De Basanti.

References I am still wondering about.

The pink elephants in the background...no not Mayawati :)

What is this girl? No idea!!

And why are these Sadhus running in the background?

Another brilliant scene..where Sona says she has no complaints with Mr.Chodhury as he has helped her a lot.

Vikram says:

कामयाबी और नाकामी इंसान खुद ही चुनता है.. Success and failure are choices we make..

And this scene bowled me over.Vikram's friend required a grandfather clock..now when the watch is taken, the place, where the watch was, is shown to be white surrounded by brownish dusty walls.. any amateur director would have not have realized the difference in the color of the walls..my respect for Zoya increased even more.

The imaginary films in Luck By Chance that I would love to see...

Sona's Teer aur Talwar

Sona's Roma Darling.

Ranjit's A Fistful of Rupees..

Even The Good, The Bad and The Worst! ;)

Ranjit's office table has some horses..bringing out his love for the cowboy in him!!

Rani and Akshay's Pyaar Hua Tumse.

Choudhury's office now has another B-grade movie Pyaar Ka Ehsaas.

Vikram was a brilliant person. He knew what he wanted in life and strategized everything with such detail that you couldn't help but get amazed by his thinking. In one scene, he promises his friend he wants to meet Nikki Walia...and his friend laughs at him..so what does he do? He goes and says hello to her mother, Neena, and flirts with her. He tells her, "I am in this world because of you as my parents were big fans of yours and met while watching your movie." Then he goes on to say that his dad once told him that "Neena Walia is one of the most beautiful women he knew," and then he adds, "tonight I will call him and say that she is still the most beautiful person in the room tonight." Awesome..who wouldn't get flattered?!?! A meeting that helped him get a film!

Or another one where his friend, an Assistant Director with the Bhatts, required a grandfather clock immediately. He started smiling when he heard this..took this as an opportunity to get two things done - get into the good books of his friend who will help him meet the Bhatts and impress Mohini Massi..brilliant.

And he took his chances..he knew that if you have to get lucky, you at least have to try things..don't expect things to be given to you just like that..like that scene when Sona says तुम्हे क्या लगता है यह फॉर्म भरने से मुझे fridge मिल जायेगा.. and then he says, मुझे लगता है की अगर तुमने यह फॉर्म नहीं भरा तो fridge जीतने का तुम्हारा कोई chance नहीं है.

In one scene, Zoya shows us that Abhi, Vikram's friend, is enacting a play called Doraha...two ways. I think the play's name is a reference to the movie's central premise..would you do things by going against your grain? Do you believe in only Luck and destiny? Which path will you choose?

The one which Chodhury suggested to Sona..or the one which Vikram sums up beautifully.

इतने दिनों तुमने किसी और पर भरोसा किया..अब अपने आप पर भरोसा करो..मौके मिलते नहीं सोना, बनाये जाते हैं, कामयाबी हम तक नहीं आती, हमें कामयाबी तक जाना होता है..अपने रास्ते पर चलते रहो..चलते रहो..धीरे धीरे सारी दुनिया तुम्हारे रास्ते पर आ जाएगी..

Or as Nand Kishore Sir says "यहाँ talent के साथ साथ luck भी बहुत बड़ा factor है.. You have to be at the right time and at the right place.."

When Sona says to Vikram that Abhi is such a good actor, he would get a break. Vikram says he hopes that as well..but he adds.He is content..उसमे वो आग नहीं है..Doraha is a symbolic reference to the two characters - Abhi, who was a much better actor. Still, he chose contentment..and Vikram, a good actor but ambitious one, is ready to do anything to get what he wants!

He is so confident that when Sona points out that he has an eyelash on his face and what wish he would like to have..he says, I don't need it..giving us more insight into his philosophy that a man makes his own Luck..or Fortune favors the brave! 

Another classic scene below where Zoya tried to show us Doraha or two ways..where some street children see Zafar and rush to his car. Zafar starts playing with them. It actually shows two worlds separated by glass boundary. Maybe, Zafar had also come from humble beginnings.. which is why he could probably identify with the children. I loved this scene!! I actually want to know how this scene was shot..the camera spans across from the outside to inside so smoothly.. a challenging scene to execute!

And as I said before, even Vikram's shirt has a two-colored bird - Doraha! Fits perfectly no??

More on this in post 2 but I always get reminded of my conversation with A, which is so so similar to what Vikram says

I feel being ambitious and contented are two sides of the same coin. You cannot have both. And I'd prefer to be contented than be the former. Being ambitious will force me to change myself to what I am not..and I am not ready for that, at least now!.

Zoya has created such beautiful characters, and the art direction by Abid T.P. give us some extra insights about them. It is just out of this world!

For instance, Zafar is proud and too full of himself..in one scene, he says he is an icon for millions.. Therefore, we see that his apartment is full of his images.

Another photograph on the wall.

And to give us more details, the wall has some luxury cars and some cool toys signifying his love for them.

In the scene where Zafar says to Romi Rolly that he won't be able to do the film Dil ki Aag, he says, " तीन साल से मैंने कोई break नहीं लिया है.Mechanical हो रहा हूँ मैं..I am working like a machine." And, at that moment, we see a mechanical robot in the background as if supporting what he is saying!! It is such layered details that make me wonder in amazement..stunning!

Neena..her house is full of flowers..the walls...the sofa covers. The pillow covers.

The curtains.. symbolize that she doesn't want to get old..always wants to remain pretty and fresh...

Choudhury's desk has a black animal signifying his dark intentions.

Pinki..the one person I really felt terrible for..she understood everything, but maybe, she was afraid to confront reality..always living in the shadow of her elder sister or the evil husband.

Mohini Massi is all so arty types..the paintings on the wall..the sculptures.. Most likely, she is reading an arty book.

 More sculptures below....it is fitting that a grandfather clock will be found in such a house!

And another detailed scene here..outside the window, there is a sun-like thing made of iron, no? And if we look closely, it is the same shape in the box below..so exquisitely layered.

Romi Rolly..loved the scene where he starts crying when he says no one respects him.

Lakshmi..in one scene, says...thora grace leke aao..Saroj Khan, no?

And somehow, this look reminds me of the Hatter in Alice in Wonderland :-)

This is the first time I want to put a post on Facebook..want to tell people to please watch and understand this layered movie..but as always, I chicken out by people's judgment. Should I? I Don't know. Will continue in post 2.

Dialogue of the Day

"सपने तो सभी देखते है लेकिन सिर्फ वही सपना साकार होता है जो लाख समझाने पर भी इंसान भुलाना नहीं चाहता. " 

— Anand Babu, Luck By Chance