Paris is a city of Gunthers....

Dear Pankaj,

You have been such a sweet friend, so enjoyed eating your yummy things from time to time ..take care always..I really hope you do amazingly well in life..will miss my neighbour..wish you all the best..

P.S. - No relation of the letter to the title.. just missing Phoebe :(

What will you choose? Love or Surgery?

Grey's Anatomy :(
I am still crying..
1. Christina: I choose my gift
2. Owen: People do matter

3. Izzie: The surgery is the one you come home from but what is important is who you come home to.. Love is more important..

4. Man: You know what's demeaning? To love a person who thinks so low of you but you still love..

5. Fat Patient: I don't want to live life where I have to reduce myself everyday
:( :(

Of People Leaving and Unexpected Surprises...

Today it was Hitaishi (who by name appears to be Hitesh's sister :P) last day.. When she was leaving, I don't know I felt sad..I have known her for 8 months only but I was a little unhappy.. She is one the sweetest persons I know..everyone came to her desk and wished her well..I was watching this all day..I made me feel as if it was my last day..Well, I gave her the book Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez..Hmm and surprise! she also gave me soft toy with a message written for me..I will put its pic :) but it made me feel real nice, more so because it was unexpected!! Thanks a lot Hitaishi for that :) I also wrote something for her.

And it was Rahul's birthday also, to whom I gave The Bioscope Man by Indrajit Hazra..it was a book which he once told me that he wants it and I remembered that..so on his birthday, I gave him that and it made me feel nice that he really liked it (hopefully)...

He is also leaving next month and the 2 people who sit opposite me will be gone.. new people will come but I don't know will I be able to gel with them :( Left alone again..

Hmmm..

Living in the Shell....

On Friday, Disha and I were coming back in the cab and she told me something which I have actually been experiencing for some time..

We were talking about change and making our philosophies for change.I told her that I hate change and she was like your life now would change so much that you would stop bothering about change...

But it was the second thing here that I am talking about....She has been working for three years and she told me that she was also like me earlier..but she has become very mature now..She said that till now you have been living a very protected life, you world revolves around your family or your friends..but now you have joined the corporate world so you are metaphorically speaking naked..Now you are all alone..there is no one to help you..your parents and all your friends will stop understanding you and relating to your problems..they won't be able to see what you are going through so you have to stand on your own...this world is a harsh one and you are all alone, so face everything on your own..

I actually knew this thing and have been feeling the same..the friends in college who I talked to, they can't understand what I face..everything has changed..my parents don't even know what I work on.. I must admit I have always been living in this protected shell and still am but these days I feel I am all alone..as my previous blog posts say, I feel something is different..I don't know whether I would be able to survive on my own or always need a helping hand..My friend just got married and I am still living in my dream world..Life is changing yeah..and really fast..God! give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other..

Of Experiencing Surrealism

Hmmm.. now about this fellow called Hitesh Sachdeva!! Never talked to him in college, different branch, but got in the same company, we are 10 people from the same college. But now I go and tell him everything!! every office gossip and every little crib that I have to do, I go and tell him.. He stays in GK-1 and we shared the same cab but now he has left the cab, so we became good friends during cab rides :) He is the exact opposite of me.. totally dashing (every girl is flat on him!!), even Mummy said "yeh ladka kitna sundar aur smart hai" :D, outgoing, cool, popular, good at everything he does, sensible, how to handle difficult situations, he knows every god damn sports in the world, smooth talker :D and I am his exact opposite..totally dumb and duffer.. but still you know there is this feeling of what do I say "apna jaisa lagta hai" as in like family (we have the same surname as well).. he keeps on telling me "jab mera birthday ayega to main tujhe daaru pilaunga" hahahahaha! piyakkad kahin ha..every weekend he is sloshed! But he is very good at heart. I just can't wait to dance on his wedding which is still 7-8 years away :D Pata nahi, tab tak to bhool hi jayega mujhe :( He scolds me sometimes to do things the correct way. I have a good time with him. I respect him a lot. I consider him to be my good friend but I don't know about the same from his side..sometimes I feel he doesn't like me when he is with his type of people : as in I feel I chepofy him :( There were many instances when I felt this way but it is ok..I am his good friend and not he! But he is one of my coolest friends..All friends that I have are like me..but he is totally opposite so it is kind of surreal that such a person could be friends with me :) Ok!! But I wish this friendship remains forever :)

Acchaa..

H: Koi kamasutra types film nahi aa rahi?
P: Hahahaha

Yamini Goyal is friends on Facebook with who all?

Hmmm...

The last two weeks in office have been quite stressing... running here and there..do this..do that..yeh vo..huh!

Anyways...

You know I feel awful ...why is that I have to run after you every time? It makes me feel unwanted.. Is there something in me that repels you? Ok fine.. I will not trouble you anymore..In life I have faced many disappointments, I will add one more to it..

Hmmm..so time is running out..a decision has to be made and that too real fast..but the problem is how do I make that? It seems I am trapped in Kafkaesque world..There is no one to help me and it scares me that if I take a wrong decision, it could spoil many things.. but I have to be brave..there is no other option..Pankaj..do it fast fast!! remember God helps those who help themselves..

All my life I have worked so hard.. I have not got anything served on a platter..burnt the midnight oil like anything..yes, no one forced me to do but I wanted it for myself..Life hasn't been that easy as it looks..I have made some big blunders and screwed so many things but still I did not give up..I have seen people getting things they want granted to them like charity..bas maange ki der thi..it has never happened to me..I had to fight for things..I have no one to guide me..no body to help me.. I have taken my own decisions.. but then I feel after 23 years, where have I landed? Sometimes, it really hurts that after so much did I achieve anything at all? I have been plagued by these thoughts for the last two weeks.. it hurts! it really does...

Anyway someone came on my blog searching "Yamini Goyal is friends on Facebook with who all" ... this brought a smile to my usually dull night... oh thank God! for the small mercies! See Yamini Sachdeva! teri judwaa behen bhi hai Yamini Goyal :D

I will still try to be happy.. I am happy :)

Song of the Week.. Aaj piya tohe pyaar dun..love this line especially tu sukh mera lele..main dukh tere lelu...main bhi jiyun tu bhi jiye...

If only someone could love me!

Door jake ke bhi mujhse..tum meri yaadon me rehna..

Rhea: Mera Dev kahi kho gaya hai...

Dev: Khoya bhi to tumne hai..

- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

What a line!