Saturday, December 17, 2011

Of Last Day Emotions and Mummy..

Yesterday was my last day at my first job. I got selected on August 10, 2008 from campus, joined on October 19, 2009, resigned on October 31, 2011 and finally left on December 16, 2011. Life completely changes when one leaves college. I am that sort of a person who doesn't like stepping out of my comfort zone. But as I now again step out of comfort zone, I am again feeling that sense of insecurity. My life of the last two and a half years is now going to change. I didn't cry when I left school. I didn't cry when I left college but I cried the most when I left yesterday :( My friends have supported me so much during these two years - I am so indebted to them. I am not going to see them now everyday :( But as they say, you have to move on. I have taken certain decisions after a lot of thinking, I am taking some risks, I hope it doesn't boomerang on me.

I don't know what happened yesterday..maybe it was because only me who was leaving (as compared to college when everybody leaves) while my friends are here, that gave me a feeling of being left out. When I went to meet J for the last time, I couldn't hold myself and she also started crying :( J is my inspiration, even after going through so much in life, she always has a smile on her face. And after I gave a card to N, she also started crying after reading it :( And A (who is just like me as a person) also took me to a room and she told me certain things that I should do and she was also crying :( 

And I couldn't face A the entire day because I know she was upset, and I couldn't meet her alone else :( And I randomly said to H, that I am leaving, so mujhe miss kar lena..and he said P aise mat bol, varna I will actually start know how much I am going to miss you :( A and H have done the most for me, been there for everything, listened to me, guided me..

Ab bhai sab nahi ro dho rahe the :)..S came to my seat and wrote a thank you note for me, J came specially from LA with the super cool Santa cap :), R brought something that is so me..and everyone else A, R, D, D, D and so many others..I will write more about them later.

And S called me in her room and talked to me for about 15-20 minutes. She said a very sweet thing that I am an introvert version of her, it's just that she speaks more and I don't speak much but as a person, we have the same likings, same opinion..but said that she understands that smarter people have smarter aspirations..

But the biggest surprise for the day was when I came home and showed my gifts to mummy and she also saw what all things I had kept on my desk. She got so emotional, so emotional! (I really don't know why!!) that she said I didn't know that people like you so much. She said that in the future also, people will like you and you will do very well. She said she will keep these gifts forever and will show them to my kids :| My mom has too much expectations from me..Maybe I should tell her that she shouldn't think too much of me, she might be disappointed if she has high hopes :P

And today morning, I woke up and read a message in my cell that said, "I miss you already. Please come back." :( 

I will write more about the last days in later posts..


  1. Pankaj, you are brave enough to move out of your comfort zone...believe me many people are not

    No decision boomerangs...each and every step of your life teaches you so much

  2. To add to what Sumit said -

    True that!!


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