Saturday, August 20, 2011

Of Selfishness, Goodness, and Melodiousness..

You know last to last week, there is this watchman in office. Whenever I passed by the door, he used to smile and wish me. So, one day while passing by him, he stopped me and said that he urgently needed Rs. 100, so if I could give him as his salary was expected to come on 08 August. He told he will return me later. I was like ok. But you know after that, whenever I pass by him, he just turns his face and totally tries to ignore me. He thinks that I will ask my money back, so he deliberately puts his face down or hides his face and avoids eye contact. I felt so bad :( Why is he doing like this? Instead of being gracious enough, he is trying to show his true colors. It made me feel as if he conned me. Why can't he just behave normally? I am not asking my money back but since he is behaving like this, I feel like asking it back. And I told this to J, she said how easy it is for people to make a fool of you! :( You should not have paid him in the first place. So you know this event made me feel as to why did  I pay him? What was my primary purpose? To help him? yes! but the secondary purpose? I felt good that I am helping this guy as he only asked me, perhaps he thought I might help him..why not others. So there was my selfish interest of feeling good involved in it right? And now since he is behaving so weirdly, I am feeling irritated. So wasn't it my mistake in the first place to pay him?! I don't know.

And one more! Our cab met with an accident at Kalindi Kunj. So there was this old fellow 'tujhe pata bhi hai main kaun hun yahan ka' whose car our bhaiya accidentally hit upon. He then starting abusing and hitting the bhaiya and then called the traffic police inspector. That inspector obviously was looking for making some quick money. So after the negotiation process, he asked for Rs.200! Now our bhaiya was a bit upset, so he started saying to me that how poor people are treated by this rich goons. So, you know out of sympathy I paid Rs. 200 to him that he should keep it and don't think too much about it. Why did I pay it? Did it make me feel nice about it? wast it a selfish act right? My purpose was that it will make me feel good and increase my standing in his eyes, so wouldn't it be wrong if I said that I paid him out of sympathy. So, it was actually a sort of business transaction which made me feel good! If charity makes you feel good, then you shouldn't be bragging about it. It is perhaps out of your happiness that you are doing this! If one of your transactions go wrong, then don't blame anyone for it! And very wisely, A tweeted to me that day "neki kar kuuen me daal.. u did something for good, not everyone will be the same" It is so true. And you know what the next day, this driver bhaiya of ours, he asked me that if I can pay him Rs.100!!! Theek hai I paid Rs.200 pehle to iska matlab mere se aur paise mangoge? I was so irritated again! It made me wonder as if this bhaiya is also taking advantage of me! He told that he has forgotten his wallet at home and since the tire has got deflated so many times during the say, he is left with no cash, so he will pay me back tomorrow! I paid him. And it did not make me feel good at all! I was suspicious of his intentions! But the next day, he himself paid me back the money..even with out asking! So, what I did was an unselfish act right? because I did not feel happy about it! So as people say, charity should be done in such a way that your right hand does not even know what your left hand gave!

And you know won't believe the cosmic connection of the week!! I was thinking that I will wrote about this in my blog and yesterday night, I watch this Episode of Friends (Season 5)! As I told before, that I don't name the episode, but rather pick them randomly and you know which one I watched??? The one with the PBS!!!  That one in which Phoebe is trying to convince Joey that there can be unselfish acts in the world!  Joey refutes her by saying that by giving birth to her brother's triplets, she felt good, so it was selfish! And then Phoebe purposely gets stung by a bee to prove her selfishness, without realizing that the bee would have been dead by now! But at the end, it is her call that makes Joey come on the TV and she says, it is her call that made Joey come on TV and she feels so god about it?!?! So, are there no selfless acts in this world? What Phoebe said, "I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!" Is it really true? I don't know!

Ok..some other topic now.. I finally saw Tanu Weds Manu..I didn't like it is ok..Madhavan's charcater is just amazing! Itna accha hai vo.. When he says this dialogue, it is so true ya.. 
12 saal se London me akela hi hun..roz subha uth kar naashta banata hun..akele ji khata hun..aur akele hi office jata hun..koi dost nahi hai jo itna khaas ho..bahut hi  unromantic si life jee hai maine..phir maa-baap peeche pad gaye ki shaadi karo..vahan London se India aaya..Kanpur pahuncha aur phir aap se pyaar ho gaya..bataiye galti hai meri? aapne kaha nahi karni shadi to main chala gaya..aur phir aap meri life me aa gayi..jitna bal pade aapse door rehne ki koshish ki lekin nahi hua yaar to kya din court me himmat nahi kya karun..bachpan se sunta aarahun..lekin ab lagta hai life me mila kya..

And I loved these dialogues by Tanu..

"Kuch bhi kaho Sharma sahab, tum aadmi bade darling types ho" :) 

"Mujhe customise nahi karta vo..jaishi hun vaise rehna deta hai...mujhe chahta hai meri sari badtameeziyon ke saath"

Anyway, ya..I am addicted to four songs these days..first is Marjawa from Fashion..such beautiful lines these are..
Mar jawan mar jawan...
Tere ishq pe mar jawan
Bheegi bheegi sapno ka jaisa khat hai yeh..
Geeli geeli chaahat ka jaise lat hai yeh..
Soche dil ke aisa kash ho
 Tujhko ek nazar meri talash hojaise...
Khwabo hai akhon mein base meri waise... 
Neendo pe silvate pare meri

The second is Zara Zara from Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein..I love these lines, especially when she says jhoota hi sahi pyaar to kar..

Tadpaye mujhe teri sabhi batein 
Ek baar ae deewane jhootha hi sahi pyaar to kar
Main bhooli nahin haseen mulaqatein
 Bechain karke mujhko,  mujhse yun na pher nazar
 Roothega na mujhse, mere saathiya yeh vaada kar
 Tere bina mushkil hai jeena mera mere dil mein

The third is Yeh Raat Khush Naseeb Hai from one of my favorite films Aaina..What brilliant lyrics ya!! listen the complete song..amazing lines!

Yeh raat khush naseeb hai
 Jo apne chaand ko kaleje se lagaye so rahi hai, 
Yaha to gam ki sej par
Hamari aarzoo akeli muh chupaye ro rahi hai

And finally, the fourth is re-mix version of Aaja Piya Tohe Pyaar Dun!!..I love its video also..these lines are too good!

Jal chuke hain badan kai
Piya isi raat mein..  thake huye in haathon ko, de de mere haath mein..
Sukh mera le le, main dukh tere le lu mai bhi jiun, tu bhi jiye..

Anyways, kaafi lambi post ho gayi..Have to write on so many more topics but later..Tata :)


  1. 1) put yourself in watchman's position.. what if he already spent his whole salary. what if you ask your 100 bucks back, where will he ask for a loan now?

    2) stop thinking that everyone out there is sitting there to con you.. human beings are good creatures.. 10 out of 100 wil con you, that doesnt mean you dont trust them all..

  2. That was quite an emotional outpouring and it moved me.

    For starters, on charity, dont do it and then think about it in black and white - that is good or bad. If you feel at that moment in time that you want to help and are in a position to help then do it and forget about it. The sum of money that you have mentioned are small amounts and i am sure you must be spending more on a frivolous evening, maybe sometime in a month with friends? So just think of it that atleast you are today financially in a position to help someone. Thats it. The more you keep thinking about it the more you will feel like you have been used or duped (the watchman case).

    If the people whom you have helped have done it with malicious intent then its their bad luck thats all. You have done your good deed for the day. Always Always think postive. We see so much negativity in our lives and the only way to stay afloat and keep that head above water is to think and be positive. Its not easy but its not impossible either.

    And dont ever feel bad that you broke down - we all need a good cry once in a while. I call it cleansing my toxins...:-))

    And if ever you need to talk you can always email me. Take care and god bless your good heart..:-)


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