Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why is everything so different?

Somethings have changed..something has changed definitely.. You know, for the last 15-20 days or so, I feel everything is different around me..I am feeling as if something is going to happen.. I don't know whether it is going to be a good thing or a bad thing..but I can sense the aura..there is this feeling of void as if something is unfulfilled..I don't know what it is.. For the last 5 months or so, I had worked with only 2-3 people in office but in the last month, I had worked with a whole new people..So, a lot of people know me..and no! I am not bragging!! How could I?? So people come to my desk, talk to me about random stuff, chit is kind of surreal because I have never been comfortable in knowing so many people..In school, I wasn't a famous or a popular student...was more like (and still am!!) a nerdish kid :( In college, I had only 20 people in my class and some friends from school who I knew very well..So I wasn't very much a known face in college either..It is not as if I am the most popular person in Office, I still am the least known face because of my inherent nature to not open up to people easily, but a lot of people (according to my standards!!) now know me.. So it is kind of different to see that i could be known by people..moreover, I am a very boring person..I won't start talking unless the other person starts first..And that makes me kind of uncomfortable that people coming and talking to me.. perhaps, it is this that is making me very restless!! I found some old friends on Facebook who said they specially searched me.. It was kind of weird because I have never been remembered by people or worth remembering so when that friend says that she specially searched my name because I was her good fiend, it made me feel good and bad.. Good obviously and bad because it made me feel as if things are changing.. and I can sense things are no longer the same as Phoebe said that she can hear the voices in her head.. It is as if something is forcing me to grow up and I don't want to.. as if some force is pushing me to change my personality which I don't want to..Everything feels incomplete these days.. there is something missing perhaps happiness, contentment, satisfaction... I don't know what life has in store for me as I turn 23 this week about which I am even more sad (will write another post about it as well).. I miss the things they used to be..

Came back from trip last week.. was kind of OK!! More about in later.. Ciaos!


  1. I think its time you start taking writing a bit more seriously ...

  2. na yaar, just a suggestion from across the desk :)


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