The Heart Wants It But Does Not Get It

After ages, I finally understand this line: Sukh hai alag aur chain alag hain. The last few weeks have been too difficult because of everything happening. I don't feel like doing anything and am getting a few tests done. I am turning thirty-seven in ten days and don't feel good about it. I feel very left behind in life. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I am not comparing myself with anyone but with my goals. When I was young, probably one year old, a priest told my uncle about me in a temple in Mathura that this child is very lucky. He said it because I have this birthmark on my face. I still remember this line, which my mother told me a few years ago. I don't feel good about it now because I feel left behind. My parents keep asking for marriage, but it has not been easy to make up my mind for that as well. Love is hard to find these days. It is fine. I will be fine like I always am. I write here when I am sad, but I will also write when I am happy. I may delete this post in a few days. Meanwhile, I am watching all the scenes of Sid from Dil Chahta Hai again. I love it when he paints Tara's lips on her portrait with his hands. This film is special and will always be special.