Sunday, February 7, 2010

Of feeling guilty all the time...

This post was meant to be for Ishqiya. I wanted to write it the day I watched it!! The second movie which I watched First Day ( the first was that disastrous What's Your Rashee?) . I loved Ishqiya, it had so many layers to it.. I would write a post on it just falling in love with Vidya Balan, she was so real in Paa and with Ishqiya, she truly is a desi tamancha..
Anyways, it's February 2010!! Oh shit! I am going to be 23 in May????????? No :-(
I always look forward to reading Seema Goswami's wonderful column Spectator in HT Brunch. In today's article she talks about the guilt that seems to have become a permanent companion of our lives. It is not the guilt of some crime or murder that we are talking about but of small small things. The guilt of not taking out time for your friends, of twittering when instead one should be working, etc. I don't know its kind of surreal that this is exactly what I have been thinking for the past few days. I really feel guilty of not being a good son :( I could not make my parents happy who expect so much from me but am such a loser and I still don't do anything about it. Confucius said that knowing the right path and not following it is an act of supreme cowardice :(
I do not want to be like this but how do I do it? Lack of confidence has made a big dent in my life...
I feel guilty of not reading more, I was such a voracious reader a few years back, and now I seem to have lost that reading thing. I still read but my speed has drastically reduced. I just waste my time on net, facebook, twitter, reading tweets of some of the most lame people Riteish Deshmukh!!! can you imagine that? but now I am following only people who I really like.. Anyway I am digressing from my main point. I want to read more but I just while (or wile?) away my time.
I feel guilty of not talking to my friends, I have blocked some people from my gmail permanently. I always think that I will talk the next time but I just keep postponing it. Such a bad friend I am :(
I know I have to study more, have to plan out my future but I always crib on the lack of time. I see some people who have excellent time management skills why can't I do the same? I have to think so much.. Life is not easy but I keep procrastinating..
Hope some better sense prevails over me otherwise I will end being a loser in life :(
Oh Please :(
Hmmm, I got a new laptop, but there is no net connectivity in it as of now by next week , I will get one.. I like it :) Till then good bye...

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